Chapter Text
It was night when they arrived at the hotel. Once they entered in the room, they unpacked their bags and explored the place. The most important discovery being that there was a small couch in the room.
After that, they decided to eat dinner, and despite Maggie’s wish to order something, Omar decided he would use this opportunity to show off his cooking skills. They went to the closest market and once everything was done, they set down on the couch and started to watch a random action movie.
Though it was a good movie - as far as action movies full of crazy stunts could be to an FBI agent - he quickly felt his partner’s head fell off on his shoulder. It was still aching from the strength he used to separate the train wagons just two days ago.
In fact, his whole body ached, begging him to stop and give himself time to rest after driving for nearly two hours, but he needed to take her to bed while she couldn’t complain about him sleeping on the couch.
He turned the TV off and got up, then passed his hands under her and started to lift her, as careful as he could be. She seemed tired, not only from the trip, but life itself. He wondered if she was enjoying the quietness or if she missed staying awake taking care of Ella. Again, he wished they had talked more about that when it happened.
It was a short walk to the bed, and even with the pain, he wasn’t in a rush. It felt so much better to carry her in a more gentle way then he did the last time.
Shit. The sarin gas.
Remembering that was still terrifying, even after 3 years. Not that time would ever erase his memories of that place, and the moments after that. They were forever printed in his mind. The doors closing, her screams, the desperation taking in the moment she passed out, and the smell of antiseptic from the hospital. He used to visit her after work every single day, hoping she would be awake, but that only happened almost a week after the exposure. Until then, he used to sit next to her bed and hold her hand for as long as he could, trying to push away the dark thoughts and having to leave wondering if she would still be there tomorrow. It was the closest he ever got to losing her and he really hoped she would never come this close again... but there was no way this would be real in their line of work. Its just a matter of time before the next disaster happens and all he can do is be there for her and try to minimize the damage, like always. That in mind, he felt lucky to be able to take her to bed now. Anything was better than going to her funeral and no pain would change that.
He placed her in the bed and went back to the couch. It wasn’t comfortable, but he managed to lay down and closed his eyes. The trip had been exausting for him too, so he quickly was asleep.
But his peace only lasted for about 3 hours.
Suddenly he was back at that train, screaming for the bandits to save Gemma at all costs, with so many different things going through his mind. One worse than the other. But unlike what really happened, this time his efforts were all in vein, and when things did manage to end, she was already dead in his arms.
He woke up in cold sweat, scared for his life and hoping he hasn’t screamed like in the previous nightmares. He got up and looked at the small corridor leading to the bed, checking if his partner woke up with the fuss, but there was only darkness. He then went to the kitchen to get a glass of water.
Every day, every single day he had to deal with these nightmares. First it was about his time as a ranger, which lasted until he joined the FBI, with one or two coming back every once in a while. Now, he missed having those kinds of nightmares, because they were only about him, about his traumas and about his own decisions and the people who weren't a part of his life outside the field.
Yes, they were terrifying, but doesn’t come close to what he’d been living lately. They were easier to ignore once he got home and honestly? He knew it would be the same terror the next day so why bother? People died everyday and feeling responsible wasn't changing anything. Even his own traumas were easy to ignore compared to this. Seeing the people he cares, people who were now a part of his life getting so close to death in so many different ways was worse than getting shot, worse than being a war prisoner, worse than staying in a basement begging for your life, because this time they didn't happen to him or random people.
His breathing was heavy and difficult, anxiety still in his body. It was always hard to came back from this.
It sucked that those worries came from his job, one that he loved and really wanted to conciliate with a good and healthy personal life. But right now that didn’t seem like an option.
He looked at the couch, no way in hell he would sleep again that night. Instead, he went to the balcony close by and decided to see the scenario. It was easy to understand why that place was so famous among tourists now. It was a beautiful view.
Matter of fact, the whole town was beautiful. Maybe it was the hour, but the only thing he could hear was the sound of the crickets nearby and occasional traffic coming from different directions. The streets were empty, silent and there was no sign of big buildings and skyscrappers, allowing a clean, peaceful vision of the sky.
He started taking slow breaths.
Everthing was so different when you compare to New York. But the best part is people seemed less agitated, just enjoing the small things, being there for each other and living the moment, not much different from where he grew up. There was a familiar sense of community.
He remembered their short walk to the supermarket. He lost count of how many people greeted her or even stoped by to talk to his partner. Some asked about her life in the big city working as a fed, others asked about Jason and if she had any children. They even met an elderly couple who simply got emocional by seeing how much she's grow. It was funny to see how many people knew her for more than just an FBI agent and how embarassed she sounded during each enconter. Course, he didn't waste the chance of teasing her for it when they got back.
Slow breaths again.
Those were just nightmares. Or at least he wished it was. That was his life, no avoiding that.
So many years in therapy and yet it only seemed to serve for his time as a ranger. But honestly, how can you ‘be fine’ about something you never stopped living in the first place? His job was dangerous and unpredictable, there was always a new problem that needed fixing and new ways to kill someone or get killed. Always a new trauma.
“So I was right.” He turned to look back at the small corridor, only this time he found his partner. “You don’t fit in the couch.” She said with a shy smile.
“Did I wake you?”
“…Do you want me to say the truth?” When she saw he remained serious, she laughed and continued. “Sorry… you’re not exactly a silent person.”
Of course, heavy footsteps.
“Sorry.” It was the only thing he could say at the moment.
“It's okay.” She said while approaching his side in the balcony as he turned back to look at the view again. “You alright?”
“Yeah...I was just thinking.”
"About what?"
He sighed. "Life, I guess."
“...At 3 am?”
He nodded.
"I see." For a moment, she just stood by his side in complete silence, wondering what to say. “It’s beautiful.” She asked while looking at the balcony.
“It is.”
"I missed this town.” She quickly answer. “I always loved how everything never really changes. It's easy to become familiar, to feel like time works diferently here. People are always the same, you know everyone's names and family, there's always the same farms, the same houses and the same stores since i was a child. There's nothing new, no unpredictable things, no danger. Just people living their lifes. It gives you a sense of control.”
“If you loved this, then why’d you left?” He asked.
She seemed surprised. “...You never asked me that before.” It didn’t seem like a bad thing, though. “I left because I wanted to do more for the people outside this bubble. Needed to feel like I was making a difference, making the world a better place using everything I had. I wasn’t feeling that by solving one or two robbery cases per month and sitting on my desk for the rest of the year. That said, I always planned to leave, so when Gwen offered me a job at the bureau I knew I had to take it. Indiana doesn’t come close to New York in terms of criminality… Maybe that’s not a bad thing.”
Hearing her answer made him feel a little stupid. Of course that was the reason, what else could he expect coming from her? “...That’s so you. Leaving this place, your family, everything you know because you wanted to help others and couldn’t really do it from here... Didn't know people like you still existed.” He joked, even with the sad tone in his voice.
She gave him a small laugh. “Well…there’s also not enough cafeteria’s here.”
He knew she was only trying to minimize her actions, since she hated praises. He could never understand how someone worthy of all praises in the world, never liked or even accepted then. Still, not being allowed to say it out loud didn’t mean Omar couldn’t think then. He was always proud of his partner and everthing she does on the field, the strength she had to make difficult decisions in so little time and always go beyond the impossible to make sure everything ended well, liking it or not. And he wasn’t the only one to see that, there was a reason for her to be senior agent.
Still, he couldn’t stop thinking about the irony. She gave up the cozy comfortable life she had to build a career. Now, years later, that life is all she's looking for. Stability, family, people to return to at the end of the day... Kids, and she lost the two people who could give her that so far.
With that in mind, Omar had to ask. “… Do you regret?”
“What?”
“Do you regret coming to New York? Joining the bureau?”
It took her a little while to speak, but once the answer came, it was simple and direct. “No.”
“Even with everything bad that happened to Jason?” He needed to ask that, to know how she dealed with the grief, because, if his already like that and Gemma is alive…He couldn’t even begin to imagine how she felt. All he can think about is how he would do anything in his power to go back and never enter that train with her. Just like he wanted to go back and try to make things different with Clay or even save her from getting stuck on that lab and a hole bunch of other life and death situations.
It took her another while to answer, maybe not because it was a hard question, but because she was worried, wondering what made him question that. “…You mean he would still be alive if i didn’t left?” she saw him give her a weak nod. "I used to think about that a lot, back when we were solving his... his case. I could have stayed with him, build a family or just payed enough attention to see what was going on. But now that everything is over, I realised it's unfair to blame myself... and that by doing so I forgot that he also made his own choices. He choose to move in with me, he choose to respect my decision about having kids and he choose to do the right thing and seek justice in the only way that he knew. I just needed to stop searching for what I could have done and focus on what I can do from now on. Its what he would have wanted." The subject still brought small tears in her eyes. Seeing that now made him wish he stayed quiet. "You know... it's weird that you didn't know the anwser to this..." She began, clearing the little tears from her eyes. "It's weird that you're asking because, you're the one who helped me get to this answer."
He remembered that. When she refused to shoot the suspect in order to get answers and he ended up getting hit by a truck. Later, he said she would have to get rid of this guilt and move on someday. It felt good to know that his words were so important to her and that he really fulfilled his promise of stayin by her side in every way he could, even now. But still, what really felt weird to him was how disconected he felt from his past self from six years ago. He sounded so mature and now he simply couldn’t help himself reach the same conclusion.
"He was always so supportive of me... my job was never a problem to him. He was so proud when I told him about my decision to join Quantico and I was so happy... I guess that's part of the reason why I love our job, despite the bad things that happen."
“What's the other reason?...” He needed more.
"The hability we have to change peoples lifes for the better."
"Not always." He shortly added.
She sighed. “True, but there's so many things that go beyond that, Oa. Beyond the bad outcomes. We can't always save everybody." They knew that better than anyone. "I would love that... but it doesn’t mean that the small victories are not important. Theres also good things that I would never give up on, things that only happened because of our job.” She tried to meet his gaze. "Meeting you is one of them.” She smiled. He already knew this, but felt good to hear it, to hear that he's one of the few good things in her life that she would miss. It was good to see her better than in the early days of their partnership. Still, the answer didn’t give him the clearance he expected.
He smiled back. “Is Nestor and Joel on this list too?” He wouldn’t miss the opportunity to remember her disaster of a love life.
“God, no!” She said in between his laughs. “How can you make jokes about that now?”
That's another thing they had in common: The hability to make jokes in the most stressful situations and make the other laugh no matter the circunstances to try an light up the mood.
"What?" He continued. "Just curious.”
She rolled her eyes.
Then there was silence again.
“Its okay to be angry, its unfair. I mean, you know how I get." He did. She always hoped for the best outcome for all parts, and when that didn't happen she really hated that, hated that she couldn't solve the situation and someone had to pay for it. "But, at the end of day we need to focus on the good things because, I know it doesn’t feel like it, but they happen more often.” She started saying. “We can’t keep feeling bad for the things we could have done, just try to do better for the next person. That goes for more than our job.” He knew what she was talking about.
"Who taught you that?” He asked, already knowing the answer.
“I don’t really remember now…” She did a confused look. “But he seemed smart, something about life being for the living, I think.” She said in full irony mode.
Again, that version of him from six years ago sounded like a complete different person, right now he just couldn’t believe his own words. In fact, he hardly believes anything positive right after having these nightmares.
“… Oa, I guess we both know this isn’t about me.”
He sighed. “Yeah, I guess not.”
“Are you okay?” She asked.
He could try nodding, say that his fine again, nothing for her to worry and that its gonna warn out eventualy, but he did that several times before and it just never works. He always ended up talking with her and he hated when she did the same to him. This was also their first time having an actual conversation about their problems this year.
Sure, he rather be spending this time with happy, silly moments, but he couldn’t just shut her down and try to sleep again now that she choose to be more direct. “I think you know the answer to that, Maggie.”
“Fair enough.” She stated. Though he appreciated her acting so far - being patient and not so serious about the situation, that was not his partner. None of them would be able to act chill for so long knowing the other person is strugling, even if shes trying to hide it, and that’s okay, they knew each other long enough to expect these kinds of reactions. But still, she lasted 2 days, that was more than he ever would. “Is this about Gemma?”
In the current moment? Yes. In a couple of weeks? Probably not, he just hoped it wouldn't bother him as much. Either way, he just nodded in response.
“Oa, what happened was not your fault, you did your best to get everyone out safely and you made it, especially her. That makes you a hero.”
He didn't expect her to say anything different, it's his partner, after all. “… I don’t feel like it.”
“But you are, you just don't see it now.”
“You’re only saying that because you're... you. But all I can think about is how I wasn’t a hero to her. I mean, she dates an FBI agent, I should have been able to keep her safe. To avoid what happened."
“And you did, given what you knew, I’m sure she think's the same. Did someone told you otherwise? You don't count.”
“Well, apparently it does, because I can’t sleep with the guilt.”
Their eyes met again. She hesited to say anything at first.
“...What do you mean?” Suddenly he was starting to make sense for her, or at least he had that impression. There could be a lot of reasons why he couldn't sleep and yet, just by looking at him she knew exactly what the problem was. It may not be obvious to everyone, but it was for her. His body language, the way his hands were shaking as he held the glass of water and how he avoided her eyes and looked hesitant to say anything to her. "Nightmares?" He could say it was a lucky guess, but he knew it wasn't... she was just that good of an observer. When he answered honestly (that he never stopped having them, ever since he was a ranger) and she stayed quiet, he knew what went through her mind – Gemma wasn’t the only one to appear in his nightmares.
And she was right to think that.
His family, friends and partner were constant figures in his nightmares, people that he cherished being put in deadly situations because of his job, because of his choices. All the moments he almost failed to save then, and the ones where he did failed, Maggie being on top of that list. He lost count of how many nightmares he had about her and the crazy things she does on the field.
It didn't take long for her to realise just how intense his nightmares were. “Is this why you were so stubborn about sleeping at my parent’s house?”
"No, not entirely." He truly was worried about first impression, but still, the last time he slept with Gemma on her apartment he nearly scared her to death and he didn't want to scare nobody else.
“Does anyone else know that? It’s not good to keep these things to yourself.”
His girlfriend knew, but it's not like he told her about then. “I wasn’t even planning to tell you about it, let alone ‘anyone else’.”
“Omar…” She started, but he stopped her.
“It doesn’t change anything, Maggie.” He sighed. “All these nightmares come from the same source, our job, and they had another one before I joined. There will always be a new reason for my nightmares to exist.” She tried to talk again, but once she heard the end of his sentence, she choose to stay quiet. "... And what's worse in all this is that Im in this position for as long as I can remember. Bad things happen all the time, people die and we have to get over it and do it again the next day no matter how shaken we are. I learned to live with that and never regreted any of my decisions, no matter how dark my nightmares were. But now, all I can think about for the last two days are the choices I made and how things could have been different for everyone. Its bothering me to the point of..." He just couldn't put himself to say it out loud.
If he was being honest with himself, the only time he got this messy was when she nearly died. So many what if's regarding her exposure and her recovery going through his mind and when she came back it got worse. No matter how happy he was of having her back, the fear of losing her combined with the guilt only made things worse for her, which was the exact opposite of what he wanted. Thing's only got better when she pushed him against the wall, like now. Then, they finally had the conversation they needed and he could finally breathe again, be back to his former self - just a little less overprotective. The only thing that didn't go away were the nightmares, but at least he could wake up and live his life normally.
“Omar.” She tried again, and this time he stayed quiet, refusing to look her in the eyes this time. “Do you regret joining the bureau?...”
Despite their close relationship, moments of silence were normal between then, from car trips and sharing elevators to long nights in the office. Even with the lack of words, these small parts of their routine where more important than any conversation they could have. It was a way of saying the unspoken, to show how much they cared about each other and express the things they wanted to say but never found the right words to do so, like a silent nod after a good case or a little smile exchange after a stupid joke, one that only exists because they enjoy each other’s presence in the first place. In the end it was all about that, how steady their partnership was.
But right now, these silence gaps that kept filling their conversation were nothing like the one's they use to have. They felt uncomfortable, like they didn't know what to say to each other or how the other would react.
He wanted to be just as confident as her when she answered him, that the good days overcome the bad days and he was more than happy to live with that and don't get affected by it. He owed that to her and in any other day he would do so without question, but right now, after that horrible nightmare and the crisis that always came along, he figured saying anything but 'yes' would be a lie, and its been a long time since he lied to her on purpose.
After gathering courage, he stared at her. Not knowing the answer he wanted to use. “I don’t know…I love our job, I love what we have just as much as you do. But I think that all my failed attempts at having a regular life finally caught up to me, and they keep failing for the same exact reason.” It felt good to share his thoughts with someone who understood them, his partner was always a good listener. “And I’m not saying I didn’t know that could happen when I joined, but I never thought It would be so hard to make a diference and still have a personal life to conciliate or that I even wanted that... I guess Im just tired of trying.” He asked.
Before any of this, he only had to worry about his family, and It was easier because he just needed to keep his mouth shut. Back then, he couldn’t afford to dream of relationships or friends outside the field and he was okay with that.
After he left, he decided it was time to give it a try, no matter how difficult it could be. Course, he still had to separate a few things out on the field and it may be unpleasent, but he could finally have a life of his own and catch the bad people at the same time.
But unfortunetly, in that matter, this year was really determined to show how he sucked at doing this. Even worse when you think that things were already starting to show before that. His friend Chris is still responding for his actions after getting involved with the bureau and he lost count of the amount of times he had an argument with Mona about his cases, not to mention they broke up because of it.
It was clear now, why he managed to give such confident words to help his partner six years ago and now nothing came out. These and many other traumas didn't exist at the time. Maggie must have been thinking the same thing.
“Our job is always in the way of something, always putting us in situations that we would never be in. What happened to Clay and Gemma only proved what we always knew: That we sacrifice everthing in our lifes to save complete strangers and get justice, and that doesn't pay off everytime." He took a deep breath. "I mean, what's the use of this job if we can't protect the people we care for? How can we have a life when its constantly being ripped apart by the same thing that we love being a part of? Why go through all this trouble?”
Silence took place again. After saying it out loud, he realised that's exactly what she went through. Everthing he's feeling right now, the regret, the guilt, the doubts, these are the same feelings she felt when her husband died.
She let him say all the things he needed to, then tried to reach his eyes again, and like the last time, he kept avoiding her gaze. “It’s my first time visiting my parents house without Ella. I haven't told them about my decision yet. I know it was only a one time thing, but it felt so good to bring her along. I always wanted to give them that someday – a chance to be to be grandparents, ever since I used to go there with Jason. After he died, I thought I would never have that chance, that I would never allow myself to have this chance again." She reached for his hand and gave it a little squeeze. "I’m not telling you this because I regret my decision. I’m telling you this because, despite all that happened I still want to have kids someday and decided that my job can’t continue to block that, but that also doesn't mean I need to choose between them... You know who showed me that? Who made me want to be more than just some workaholic?”
He knew where this was going.
He finally looked at her. “Mags… you don’t want that, you don’t want to be like me.”
“I do.” She answered. “And you know why? Because it’s amazing that you want to try and have a normal life and still do what you love. It's amazing that you're still open to other people. I wish It was this easy for me... I know it's hard, but please... don’t push yourself away. You deserve to be happy and I’m not letting you give up on that when you should be proud of who you are, like I am now.” She was still holding his hand with a tight grip.
He smiled, and covered her hand with his. “...Thanks... I needed to hear this.” That was all he could say at the moment.
“I know... guess it’s my time to say that Im here for you, always.”
"That's my line."
She couldn’t help but to laugh. "What can I say, Its a good one... and it makes me feel better when you say it." Good to know that she didn't found it repetitive. “And who knows, maybe in a few years we’ll be like Nina and Scola. Raising kids and still catching the bad guys, how does that sound?”
“Well, the only thing I know for sure is that we’re still going to be partners.”
“Of course.” She smiled back at him. “I don't expect anything less. But promise me you’ll try to stop taking responsibility for people’s choices, especially mine, please?” When he gave her a weak nod, she continued. “Because sometimes people will continue to be on your side even if you jump in front of a teenager with a gun, or when you’re driving with a bomb on your car.” He only gave a faded laugh. “I’m serious, it's their choice, and it means they care for you. Which is not a bad thing.” After a second of extended looks, she opened her arms and he gladly went for it. He needed a hug, especially one coming from her.
Finally, the silence was becoming comfortable again.
Lately they haven’t been partners as much as before. They were too focused in their own personal problems. It’s been a rough year for both of them. Still, their connection was there, like it never left. They still understood each other, and he could say for sure now that even if he stayed years without seeing her, it would still be there, strong and untouched, like it never left.
He was sure this conversation wouldn't cease his nightmares and trying to fell less responsible would be the hardest task ever - especially as Maggie would never stop putting herself in danger and his personal traumas would never vanish, but it may have given him the boost he needed to push through then and continue his affords for a normal life, like it did a hundred times before.
After all, it’s not every day you hear Maggie Bell saying she’s proud of you, that has to count for something.
He laid his chin in her head, thinking he could stay like this forever and hoping that they never stoped doing this. They never hugged with such “normality” before. In fact, the first time they hugged still managed to make them laugh every once in a while.
While he was enjoying the moment, he stopped to dissect what she said. It was all true. He kept wanting a bigger answer, but the one she gave him was perfect. How did he never got to any of that so clearly as her? The people in his life also made a choice to be in it, and there's beauty in this, to love and get hurt.
Omar wondered what he's done to deserve such a wonderful person in his life, she was the best partner he could ever get, so much that their own partnership was also a good way to answer his question. No matter how unpredictable his partner was, how she triggered his anxiety without even trying just to help others. He remembered every single moment she almost died, his mind constantly reminded him that she could die at any minute, just like him. He would be lying if he said it didn’t bother him sometimes. Still, Omar wouldn't change a single thing about her or their partnership. Why? Because that's who she is, thoughful, sensetive, someone who would do anything to help you no matter how hard it may look. She makes these crazy stunts because she cares, and that's good enough for him, even if he has to be a little more overprotective than usual and lose a few nights of sleep. That said, here they are, about to complete eight years of partnership in a few months.
"For the record, I do think we would met each other even if we weren't in the bureau." He said, still resting his chin in her head.
She gave a small laugh. "How would that happen?"
"Definetly in a cafeteria." She laughed at his response. "But seriously, I know we would find our way to each other, no matter the life we choose."
She didn't answer, and there was no need to. It was just so natural, he wanted to be near her everyday, to be a part of her life. It has been like this since they met. They’re like slices of the same orange, and if there was one thing he never doubted was that they would make an amazing duo, no matter the dificulties. And the best part in all this? He knows she feels the exact same, no question about it.
While he thought of it, however, other questions came in, why was it so natural?
Why did he questioned his relationship with Gemma, even with Mona but never their partnership?
Why do the bad days felt more relevant to them then they did to her?
It couldn’t be just because of their job. Whatever they had evolved ages ago, enough for them to be more than just work collegues.
He remembered the sarin gas again, what he said to her in the hospital. Did she even heard those things? Did he listen to himself? He said he couldn’t, that he didn’t want to do the job without her. So… was it ever about the job? Would he get this sad if they were just collegues?
What were they, then? He kept wondering to himself. They loved to present each other as partners, sometimes even friends, but he never questioned if he agreed with it.
Did he?
He once told Mona that wouldn't leave a job that he loved and was damn good at it, but now... was 'the job' the real problem, or was it that, by leaving, he wouldn’t be such a big part of Maggie's life as he is now? They wouldn’t be partners in every sense of the word and he wouldn't be able to keep her safe - not that she needed, but his anxiety would never cease, even more than now.
“Oa?” She asked, getting him out of his thoughts. "You're quiet again... should I be worried?"
“I’m fine.” He said. “Just thinking about Gemma, how this whole thing changed our relationship… If we even have one by the time she gets back. I can be single now and just don’t know it yet.”
Things sounded so complicated with Gemma, he always imagined love to be more simple. And thought they never named it, whatever he felt for his partner fited that description. Course, he loves his girlfriend, but maybe that would not be enough, like it wasn't with Mona. Maybe they both deserved better.
“Im sure you two are gonna figure it out and do what's best for both, but if what you said turns out to be true it's her loss, you were a hero and if she can't see this then it might be for the better. You deserve someone who loves you as a whole." She finished with a caring smile, the same smile that could make him better at the minute and could light up the whole room, one that was impossible not to correspond, and so he did.
They broke the hug, remaining close to one another, more than they ever allowed throughout the years of their partnership. For a split second, they just stared at each other.
"Yeah, maybe you're right."
"Im always right." She confidently said, that got a laugh out of him.
Maybe she's right, maybe he just haven't meet the right girl. One who doesn't help making him feel like his job can only be a problem. One who would stay and sort things out together, like he wanted. He wants to have a normal life, but maybe not with her, not with Gemma.
She turned around and started heading to the kitchen. “Now, I know you're not going back to sleep, and I’m not leaving you alone tonight, so I’ll make us some coffe to help us push through. How about we finish that movie? We’re leaving to my parents house in a few hours anyway.”
He kept staring at her. How could she be this easy to...
Shit.
How could he be so blind?
This could not be happening, not after all these years. They were just friends, no additional questions... Why, out of all places, would he reach this conclusion now?
“Okay, sure.” Was all he could say, shifting his mind back to it's place.
She probably noticed how ackward his response was and called for his name again before reaching the kitchen. “Oa?”
“Yes?” He forced himself to focus.
“Is there anything else you want to tell me? Anything else bothering you?” She asked.
He didn't, two minutes ago. Now, not only did he had something to share, but it wasn't anything as simple as a nightmare, but rather a life change conversation, and they had enough revelations for one night. There was just no way he could tell her that in this moment. “No, nothing. But you'll be the first to know if that changes.” He wasn't proud about lying to her - and he never thought he would have to lie over something like this, but there's a first time for everything, he just hoped she wouldn't notice or say anything if she did.
She narrowed her eyes a little before responding. “Good. I’ll call you when it’s ready.” Then she left, leaving him with his recent discovery. Did she noticed? Probably. But either way he would leave it at that.
For how long would he be able to hide it now that he's aware?
And he was about to meet her parents, her parents! Not to mention he was expecting his girlfriend to call him and say how she was doing. You know, his girlfriend, the one who just got shot because of him?
This couldn’t be happening in a worse moment... and he knew that feeling wasn’t going away anytime soon.
But honestly, did he even want that… For those feelings he finally managed to label to just go away?
All he could know for sure now is that his life would be forever changed after this vacation... and in some way, he couldn’t wait for that to happen.