Chapter Text
Still Somewhere in Greece, 1019 A.D.
Leif burst out of the inn like a man who had just ended a thousand-year war. His shirt was half-untucked, grinning like a happy child. He jogged back to the group, who were slumped under a pathetic excuse for a tree, trying not to die from waiting on the noon's heat.
Bug-Eyes, lying flat on his back with his arms sprawled out, suddenly said, "Did you know whales existed before Greece did? If you fight a whale, you're basically fighting ancient history." Nobody responded. Even Karli's Mama, who usually had patience for his nonsense, stared blankly at the sky looking at the free pigeons who she very much envied right now.
Bug-Eyes shifted his head just enough to squint at Thorfinn. "Did you know that, Thorfinn?"
Thorfinn sat cross-legged and dangerously close to falling asleep, opened his eyes and looked blankly at him. Karli was sitting in his lap, very busy trying to eat a fistful of grass to which Thorfinn kept instinctively pulling his hand before putting it on his mouth. He took a long, exhausted breath through his nose and gave a slow nod, the kind of nod that said something like no please shut up.
"GOOD NEWS, MY CHILDREN!" Leif’s voice boomed across the dusty road. "WE ARE LODGED, FED, AND ADORED!"
Everyone immediately sat up as if struck by lightning. They blinked against the sun; and there he was, their savior, speed-walking toward them in that ridiculous way he always did when he had good news. Spirits lifted instantly. Thorfinn, energized, scooped Karli off his lap and handed him to Gudrid, whose soul practically leapt back into her body.
Thorfinn marched up to Leif, grinning. "What did you find?"
Leif threw out his arms like a man introducing the gates of paradise. "The innkeeper! Yannis! A man of taste! Of honor! Of hospitality! He has sheltered many Norse traders, knew me by name!"
Gudrid lit up like a festival fire, "Who DOESN'T know you, Leif!" she beamed but then froze mid-smile.
"Wait. Wait. Did you say innkeeper?" Her face twisted in shock.
Leif smirked proudly, "Innkeeper." he repeated
Everyone collectively gasped.
"WE'RE STAYING IN AN INN?!"
"I THOUGHT THOSE WERE A MYTH!!"
As much as Thorfinn was excited, his smile faltered a little. "Aren’t inns expensive, Leif? There’s..." he glanced back at the group, mentally counting Hild without making it obvious, "...a lot of us. We don’t have much to spend."
"Who do you think you’re talking to, boy?" Leif laughed, patting his shoulder with a wink. "With a bit of backstory... some heartfelt goal explaining... and a well-timed baby mention," he grinned wider, "the innkeeper practically threw a discount at me. Said it was an honor to host people who are in search of peace." He said it a little softer, looking at Thorfinn with something almost fatherly in his eyes.
Thorfinn listened, and something warm settled in his chest. He let out a small sigh of relief, smiling, "He said that?"
"Yes! And!" Leif suddenly cut through his thoughts, "He gave you a room with a CRADLE for Karli! You should’ve seen the man’s face when I mentioned a baby, apparently he just finished building a cradle as a relic. Was thrilled to actually use it!"
"REALLY?! NO MORE KICKS?!" Gudrid gasped, clutching Karli like she had just won a prize, "KARLI YOU'RE GETTING YOUR OWN BED!" Karli immediately responded happily by kicking his feet, one landing her squarely in her stomach.
"Ow! KARLI, PLEASE!" she wheezed, but laughed through it, while Karli squealed happily.
Bug-Eyes, still lying under the tree, raised a hand weakly. "Can I get a cradle too? I kick in my sleep."
"No," Einar said immediately.
Yannis appeared behind them, waving his hands, beaming like he’d just received a gift from Odin himself. “Καλοί φίλοι! Beautiful family! Come, come! I help take things from boat! Make home! Dinner soon!
Leif held out his arms toward him with delight. “There he is! My Mediterranean brother!”
Karli, cradled in Gudrid’s arms, immediately reached out toward Yannis like he was greeting a long-lost uncle. Yannis let out a joyful coo, practically running towards them, and without a shred of hesitation kissed Karli right on the forehead. Then he gave his cheek a good pinch, like Karli was made of pure gold. Karli gurgled in pure approval, flailing his arms. The rest of the Norse squad stood there, stiff as fence posts. They weren’t exactly used to this level of... physical affection from complete strangers. Gudrid, still holding Karli, smiled awkwardly, somewhere between flattered and slightly alarmed, while Yannis beamed at her like they were family now.
That Evening…
The open-air patio was aglow with lanterns, their flames flickering in the soft night breeze. A table stretched across the backyard of the inn, shielded by trees of olive and citrus, groaning under the weight of roasted lamb, bowls of olives slick with oil, soft cheese wrapped in fig leaves, and fresh bread baked with herbs and sea salt.
“This… is Heaven,” Einar said softly, chewing with the eyes of a man reconsidering his entire life.
Bug-Eyes licked honey from his fingers. “They don’t eat like this back home. Back home we’re lucky if the cheese isn’t trying to kill us.”
“Don’t slander northern cheese,” Leif said with dignity, tearing a loaf of bread.
Meanwhile, Thorfinn and Gudrid sat side by side, Karli on Gudrid’s lap, reaching curiously for everything. The cradle set up earlier in their room, had been hand-polished by Yannis himself. Gudrid almost cried when he had showed it to her before placing it to their room.
“I can’t believe he added flower carvings to the cradle,” Gudrid cooed to Thorfinn as she helped Karli chew on a date.
“He gave it a nameplate,” Thorfinn replied in disbelief. “What did we do to these people to treat us this way?”
“He thinks we’re saints.”
“We did sail here to search for a peace,” Thorfinn shrugged.
Gudrid paused. “Are we saints?”
Bug-Eyes leaned in from across the table. “ANYTHING but a saint, Gudrid, you should see yourself when you yell at me!”
“You steal MY tunics, Bug-Eyes.”
“THEY’RE TUNICS FOR MEN!”
Leif raised a cup. “To Mediterranean hospitality that bring discounts!”
Yannis approached again, with a loud groan of pleasure, this time with a bowl of something creamy. He served it directly to Gudrid, smiling warmly at her and then gently pinching Karli’s cheek. “Μικρό ζουζούνι!” he sang. “Little bug! Eat well, grow strong!”
Karli responded by spitting the paste onto his sleeve. The man laughed with glee and offered him more.
“What is this?!” she hissed, “WHY DOES IT BURN?!”
Everyone tried it. same reaction, making Yannis laugh with a wheeze of a very entertained man. He did explain what it was, repeated the name like 5 times, nobody got it, but Einar didn’t stop eating it. (it was tzatziki btw) More locals joined the dinner. Apparently it was normal here. Yannis’ first and second cousins entered first, and then his mother in law who started talking to Gudrid immediately. They started pushing into the group with loud greetings and slaps on the back, and kisses on both cheeks, speaking in rapid Greek.
"Dad, help!” Bug-Eyes hissed over his shoulder, “This guy keeps kissing me!”
“Kiss him back or something!”
They didn’t understand a word, but that didn’t stop the endless stream of toasts, wonderful (for the Greeks) and weird (for the Norse) affection and unsolicited advice on child-rearing exclusive from Yannis’ mother in law. She immediately pulled Gudrid aside. she was startled at first, getting grabbed by an old woman who seemed to have more than 10 children? Girl was sweating.
“Έλα εδώ, κορίτσι μου! Τί είναι αυτό το παιδί; Χωρίς κάλτσες; Θα του μπουν τα δαιμόνια στα πόδια!” (Come here, my girl! What is this child? No socks? The demons will enter through his feet!) she said grabbing Karli who apparently didn’t mind being held from professionals, and pulled out of her pocket wool socks, probably had made them herself
“Wait huh?” Gudrid was flabbergasted, as she handed Karli back to her.
“Και μη τον κρατάς έτσι! Σπας τη μέση σου! Θα μείνεις καμπουριασμένη σαν χταπόδι!” (And don’t hold him like that! You’ll break your back! You’ll end up hunched like an octopus!) she said grabbing Karli back and demonstrating the proper way, and then handed him back at her the same way as before. Gudrid kind of understood what she was implying but barely, the only thing she could do is smile and nod, for interaction purposes
She continued “Άκου να σου πω, εμένα τα παιδιά μου δεν κλαίγανε. Γιατί; Γιατί όταν έκλαιγαν—“ (Let me tell you something, my kids didn’t cry. Why? Because when they cried—) she clapped her hands loudly and bit her lower lip. Gudrid looked horrified. Even Karli looked at her and flinched.
Her face immediately changed to a lovely woman’s “Κατάλαβες?” (Understand?)
Gudrid managed to gesture something as approval, to which the old woman laughed and grabbed her cheeks in for a kiss.
Bug-Eyes was getting his palm read by a curly-haired old woman. She was Mother in law’s aunt. Einar was trying to say “thank you” but kept accidentally calling people fish. A wonderful sight, the way they all laughed and nodded at his perfect Greek. Leif was teaching two young men how to arm wrestle Viking-style.
“You must shout before the arm slams down!” The young men followed his instructions back.
Hild had silently appeared behind a pillar, sipping from a mug, face half-lit by lantern light, giving the entire gathering the energy of an epic painting. A young boy even ran accidentally at her, almost screamed at the way she looked at him, but that doesnt matter right now.
Thorfinn sat on a chair surrounded by little girls who hadn’t really seen a man this blonde before, making little strings of braids in his hair, another one was inspecting his right arm, all the battle scars he had, counting them with her small finger.
By the time dinner had ended and they all finally managed to escape the big friendly…TOO friendly, family’s grasp, the inn had quieted, only the creak of the old stairs and the rustle of satchels marked the final stretch of the day. Their rooms were on the second floor, lining a hallway of whitewashed stone. Candles flickered in bronze sconces along the walls. All of them peeked around.
“I've never seen a building like this before…as if we are rich or something,” said Bug-Eyes, “Hey Thorfinn! Doesn’t that Canute guy live on a place like this?”
Thorfinn who was pretty focused on the sight as well, turned to him, “How would i know?”
“In fact,” Einar added, “places like these are pretty common, not to say, this isn't even ranked on the best. Greece has amazing infrastructure in general.”
“Imagine how the houses look here,” Gudrid added, “Actual stone walls,” she said knocking on the wall, “not woody ones like back home.”
“Yeah that's because of the weather too, you know,” Einar said to which she nodded
Bug-Eyes reached his door and groaned. “Finally, a real door. With hinges. Not a flap. Not a damp tarp pretending to be a wall.” memories of spending months in a tent was traumatic
Einar yawned, fumbling with the latch on his own. “I swear I can still feel the shape of every rock we slept on in Thrace. There was one shaped like a tooth.”
“I named mine Gerald,” Bug-Eyes declared.
Gudrid laughed, stepping closer. “You named your back pain?”
“It’s not pain, it’s a relationship.”
Thorfinn, holding Karli against his shoulder, chuckled under his breath. “You two need more chores.”
“Don’t threaten us with your type of character development,” Bug-Eyes grinned, pointing dramatically at Thorfinn.
They all said their goodnights and disappeared into their rooms, a sudden loud snort of laughter echoed up from the courtyard. Leif was still talking to Yannis. In broken half-Greek, half-Norse, full-blown charades.
“No, no,” Leif was saying, arms flapping, “We sailed south! South like… like geese! But wet! Angry geese! RAHH!”
Yannis howled with laughter, wiping his eyes. “Ναι, ναι! Vikings! Angry geese!" Leif slapped his knee, triumphant.
Back at the room
The door shut.
Gudrid paused in the center of the room, eyes wide, as if she’d entered Heaven itself.
There was a bed.
An actual bed.
Wooden, square, freshly straw-stuffed mattress, and covered in clean linens.
She dropped her bag.
“Thorfinn,” Gudrid whispered, frozen in the doorway, “is that…”
“oh my God,” he whispered, eyes widening, clutching Karli to his chest like the child was the only thing keeping him from throwing himself forward.
“A real bed.”
“No seaweed. No rocks. No weird wet patches.”
Thorfinn narrowed his eyes at it like it might vanish if he looked too long. “It has legs, Gudrid.”
“PILLOWS,” she gasped, marching into the room like she’d just seen Thor descend from the clouds. “MULTIPLE! More than one!” She dropped her bag mid-stride and pointed at the mattress like it owed her money.
“I’m going in.”
“Don’t tell me you’ll jum—”
She jumped on the bed.
“Yep.” he sighed
full-body, limbs flailing, and landed with a WUMPH that shook the bedframe. The squeal she released was not human. It was some kind of possessed walrus-meets-seal hybrid noise of pure ecstasy.
Thorfinn blinked. Karli blinked.
"WAIT, WAIT!" Gudrid yelped, scrambling over the bed like a madwoman. She furiously shoved pillows into a giant pile at the center, creating some kind of fluffy sack. "THROW HIM HERE!" she cried, arms outstretched like a goalkeeper.
"Okay, your turn," Thorfinn said calmly to Karli, and without a second thought, yeeted the baby right at the pillow mound. Karli landed with a delighted "HNNGH!" and immediately rolled himself into a pillow, gripping it tight, his giggles filling the room with joy. Gudrid collapsed next to him, arms splayed like she'd been slain by pure joy. "YESSSS!" she squealed into the mattress where Karli hid under the pillows, "GOOD FLY KARLI!!"
She turned to Thorfinn who was standing there for a moment, staring like he was witnessing a miracle.
"COME, THORFINN!"
He dropped his cloak with finality. "You think I'm staying here?!" he said with enthusiasm.
Gudrid scooped Karli a few inches over, giggling wildly to make space. Without hesitation, Thorfinn full sprinted at the bed and dove into it like a man storming the gates of Valhalla. He hit the pillows with a heavy thud, face buried deep.
"Gudrid," he groaned, "my bones have been reassembled."
She shrieked into the mattress, "I CAN FEEL MY SPINE!"
Karli let out a baby war cry, flailed both legs into the air, and flopped belly-first onto Thorfinn’s face.
"Karli’s in Heaven!" Thorfinn gasped, spitting out a baby sock. "Where’d he even get these?!"
"Mother in law!"
"Who-?"
Gudrid rolled over and jabbed him in the ribs. "We are NEVER going back to the tent. Never. I will walk into the woods, FIND that thing, and LIGHT it on fire myself."
They both lay there gasping, limbs tangled up with Karli between them like a baby loaf. Gudrid rolled to her side, sniffed the mattress a bit, widened her eyes.
“Thorfinn. THORFINN. THE SHEETS.”
“What, what, are the sheets made of wool?”
“NO. Linen.”
Thorfinn sat up like she’d just said they’d found gold. “YOU’RE KIDDING.”
“SMELL IT.”
He did.
“What is this place?! Why are we even here?!” he said in disbelief
Gudrid burst into wild laughter and tried to pull the pillow over her head but instead fell off the bed with a loud THUD. “OW- no wait i can’t complain, I’m still blessed!!” she yelled from the floor, waving an arm up like a flag.
Thorfinn leaned over, hair falling into his eyes, giggling, already used to stuff like these, “You good?”
“Never better,” she whispered from the ground, “Thorfinn, let’s just live here at this point. I'll raise the goats outside, cook here with the creepy mother in law, and you can go sell whatever on the market, i'll literally name the room Heaven,” she said literally closing her eyes and dreaming.
Thorfinn grinned, reached down, and pulled her back up onto the mattress. “Don’t make me consider it,” he joked. As Gudrid flopped dramatically back onto the mattress, muttering something about throwing hands if anyone tried to make her leave, there was a loud THUMP THUMP THUMP on the thin wall to their right.
A muffled voice, wild with excitement and unmistakably Bug-Eyes, shouted:
“THERE’S A BED IN MY ROOM TOO!! AND IT BOUNCES IF YOU JUMP HARD ENOUGH!!”
Thorfinn laughed.
Gudrid sat bolt upright. “I KNOW RIGHT?!”
“I ALMOST HIT THE CEILING!”
THUMP.
THUMP
THUMP.
The sounds of unholy bouncing followed, as if a full-grown goat had been unleashed inside the walls.
“AND I HAVE TWO PILLOWS! I CAN STACK THEM!!”
Thorfinn cupped his hands around his mouth and hollered back, “STACK THEM AT YOUR OWN RISK, EINAR SAID YOU SLEPT ON A BROKEN OAR ON THE SHIP.”
Bug-Eyes screeched with laughter. Somewhere down the hall, a confused voice in Greek could be heard yelling, probably Yannis wondering why his new guests were testing the structural integrity of every room.
Einar’s voice joined in next, distant but booming:
“IF HE BREAKS THE BED, WE’RE ALL SLEEPING ON THE FLOOR AGAIN.”
“DON’T MANIFEST IT!”
Gudrid rolled over, laughing so hard her whole body shook. "This is the best day of my life," she gasped out, wiping at her eyes.
Thorfinn lifted his head from the pillow, smiling lazily at her, "That's what you said when we got married." he teased
Gudrid snorted. "Second best."
He gave a soft hum of amusement, his eyes still half-lidded in comfort. "Karli saying 'mama' first?"
She grinned. "Third."
Then Gudrid suddenly sat up halfway, realization hitting her like a rock. "Wait- Thorfinn," she said, grabbing his sleeve, "this is the first time we’re sleeping on an actual bed together!"
Thorfinn blinked slowly, then let out a small breath, smiling to himself. "Hm, that's right," he said quietly, almost more to himself.
Gudrid flopped back onto the bed, arms spread out wide like a starfish. "Ship floors... leaking tents... soggy boots for pillows..." she mumbled dramatically.
Thorfinn scooted a little closer, just enough that his hand brushed against hers, she immediately caressed his.
"Better than a tent," he said, voice filled with a rare teasing warmth.
Gudrid laughed. "Way better! And these mattresses don’t smell like wet fish!"
Thorfinn let out a, muffled laugh, hiding it in the pillow. Karli, still wriggling between them, happy as ever, giggling and kicking his feet playfully.
Another THUMP echoed through the wall, followed by a gleeful “OW” from Bug-Eyes.
Karli sat up between them with a dazed look, as if he, too, were overwhelmed by the glory of indoor living. Gudrid gave him a little bounce on the mattress. “Don’t worry, Karli. When you grow up, we’ll tell you stories about this night.”
Karli burbled, “BEWD!”
From the other side of the wall, Bug-Eyes cried out:
"THORFINN, I CHALLENGE YOU TO A PILLOW DUEL AT DAWN!"
Thorfinn leaned back against the pillows, arms behind his head, smug as a man who had already claimed victory without lifting a finger.
"Tell him he’s going down," he said lazily, not even opening his eyes.
Gudrid cupped her hands like a war horn. "THORFINN SAYS YOU’RE GOING DOWN!!"
A beat of silence. Then Bug-Eyes screamed:
"THAT COCKY PRICK!! I'M COMING IN!!"
Footsteps thundered down the hallway. Gudrid barely had time to gasp before Bug-Eyes kicked open the door, wielding a pillow like a battle axe. He launched it at Thorfinn, who genuinely hadn’t been expecting it.
“HMMPH-!” Thorfinn grunted as the pillow smacked him in the chest. Without hesitation, he grabbed it in one hand, shot up from the bed like a wolf who just spotted prey, and charged after Bug-Eyes. He shrieked and fled for his life down the hallway. Thorfinn lobbed the pillow like a throwing spear, it sailed across the hall and hit Bug-Eyes squarely in the back with a satisfying WHUMP.
Gudrid collapsed back onto the mattress, laughing so hard she was gasping for air. Karli was kicking and crackling too, tiny fists punching the air in approval.
From somewhere down the hallway, they heard Bug-Eyes wail:
"ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, I SURRENDER-!"
“I thought you wanted a fair duel?”
"YES AT DAWN!"
"YOU STARTED IT NOW!"
Einar, again, this time felt as if he had fallen asleep and woken by the noise:
“Guys I swear on my name, if you don’t SHUT IT RIGHT NOW!”
Silence.
Then the muffled, uncontrollable laughter of grown adults trying and failing to behave.
Thorfinn stumbled back into the room. Gudrid glanced up, stifling a laugh.
“Did he lose?”
“Of course he did!” he said, defiantly.
though Karli was tying to keep himself up, a yawn escaped his mouth and he rubbed his eyes with his tiny tired hands
“Naww,” Gudrid cooed, “Is my little baby tired already?” She gently stroked Karli’s face before handing him to Thorfinn. He carefully placed the boy in the cradle Yannis had made. Karli curled up like a little bun, barely stirring, pulling a blanket to his face before immediately falling asleep.
“Alright, mister, I’ve got you all to myself now!” Gudrid said, patting the empty space beside her. Thorfinn chuckled softly, lying down next to her and pulling her close.
“You did work a lot on the ship today,” he said, brushing her bangs off her forehead. “I’m guessing you’re very tired.”
“I am!” she admitted, leaning into his touch.
They exchanged their last good night lovey dovey words before drifting into a deep sleep, wrapped in a quiet sense of peace and contentment, as the next adventure awaited tomorrow.