Chapter Text
When the Tarnished dealt the final blow, the first thing to cross his mind was immense regret. That he had failed his mission. That the Destined Death was lost once more. That the Golden Order would never be restored again. That he would never reunite with Marika—his Queen, his family, his devotion.
As his physical body disintegrated and scattered along with the wind, Maliketh thought this was it—absolution. He would soon join those who had been lost to time.
Imagine his disbelief when he came to and found himself crouching on the floor of the Bestial Sanctum.
Was this a trick of the mind? Another cruel test of the Greater Will?
His appetite—his friend once more—crawled inside of him, spreading the pain across his whole body. It told him that in a way, he was still alive.
As he gained his bearings over the course of time, he realized that he was reliving his final days as Gurranq, again and again and again. An endless loop. So this was his prison, the punishment for his failure.
He attempted to escape, but no matter how hard he tried, he was stuck in this cursed immortality. How long must he stay in this state? For eternity? Until he went mad like his half wolf brother?
In this prison, time had no meaning. After the first few hundred loops, he gave up counting. His accumulated memories blended together—he was not sure what happened when and where anymore. He just knew that everything that had ever happened in his life felt ancient, even unreal. He vaguely remembered the scarce lost souls accidentally stumbling in the sanctum—a short break from solitude—and left just as quickly after they and he figured out the secret. No one had ever returned and he stopped wondering why long ago.
Until you fell through that portal and broke the peaceful façade of his existence.
For him, you were a curious case. Your first reaction to his presence was, not surprisingly, fear. But as soon as he showed you some mercy, instead of running away, you asked him to let you stay and figure things out.
He was irritated by the idea of another being intruding his ironic haven. He could just inform you of the loop to free your mind, so that he did not have to endure you. However, deep in his heart, there was a desperate wish for connection, and at that particular moment, you intrigued him. Thus, he decided to allow you to stay for a while, just to know what it felt like to be in someone’s company again.
True to your silent agreement, you kept your distance and let him be. At first, he just observed you to distract himself from pain and boredom. But gradually, he found a certain fascination in watching your attempts to get back. He watched your expressions—so raw, so honest, so human—a spectacle that he had almost forgotten after spending so much time with the gods and other creations of the Lands. He started rooting for your success in silence.
Then when he was suffering at his worst, you were willing to take a risk, get close, and give him assistance. Your caring attitude felt like a gentle breeze in the storm of his being. He wondered whether that fall from the portal messed up your psyche—who in their right mind would be so quick to get all cozy around the dangerous beast as he was? But it was all you, with your inquisitive and empathetic self, that helped ease the pain from his hunger, and more significantly, from his solitude.
Your hands on his stomach—a foreign yet familiar sensation. Your small slumbering body in his lap. Your gentle breathing. As he watched you, he reminisced the good old days of the Order, when he would bask in the blue moonlight, with Marika and her children lying around him, stroking his fur, rubbing his belly, sharing his body heat—a time that felt so foreign now, like a pipe dream. It had been too long since he had ever gotten this close to anyone. The Tarnished, much as their too brief friendship was appreciated, never reached his immediate vicinity.
In the comforting lull of intimacy, you opened up to him in your quiet, soothing voice. As he listened, he noticed a familiar loneliness residing within you, and wondered whether you were yet another reminder of his punishment, or a rare merciful respite from the Greater Will. Either way, he could not help that tender affection stirring inside of him at your gentle, caring, undivided attention.
For the first time in eternity, he wanted to be with someone again.
He knew he had no right to keep you. But he had been in this state for too long and he had gotten so, so tired after everything that his pride and morals were dwindling. Another kind of hunger plagued him—an appetite for your companionship. He could not find it in him to tell you the truth, the key to escaping this confinement. He kept holding it back, foolishly trying to prolong this dream, wishing for you to stay with him in this infinite loop.
Eventually, he had to wake.
You were justified in your anger. But what he had not expected was the whole package of emotions that came with your wrath—longing, affection, concern, and above all, pain. He could feel the shattering of his heart, knowing that he had brought that hurt to your life.
Shame and guilt flared up within him. He could no longer face you, but he still mustered enough courage to confess his feelings before you were lost to him forever. Not to burden you with guilt, but simply because he must.
At the deep breath you took, he shut his eyes and awaited your decision.