Chapter Text
Lamine is only half awake when he walks out of the house and jogs to Gavi’s car that has been passing horns for the past 10 minutes, the man trying to indicate that he’s in a rush to the teen who wants to fall back into his bed and continue his cherished sleep. He sits very clumsily into the backseat and curls up into it, “god I really want to just sleep.” The older just reaches out to mess his hair and immediately gets his hand swatted away. “You do realize you say this everyday right?” Lamine scoffs but doesn’t argue back. He does complain every day, he admits that. Still, he rolls his eyes in a disagreement and lets the car start slowly. “Hold on for a while, I’m not carrying you, you’ll sweat your ass off in the car.” Gavi smiles and lets Lamine look away, out of the window.
He likes accompanying Gavi to Pedri’s place, the three snuggle and watch movies till they couple kick him out or they start loudly making out that instantly kills Lamine’s intent of staying with them. He can’t sleep at his own house, if his mom is at home she tends to ask him a lot of questions and he has to lie so many times that he can’t keep up with his own stories that she very easily catches on. He puts his head against the door and closes his eyes trying to rest with the car slowly rolling onto the street and making his head bump against the glass with a beat. Gavi turns on the radio, a rare occurrence since Lamine usually takes reign and plays his music whenever they’re together because according to him, Gavi doesn’t know ‘peak’. He doesn’t understand the teenager but nods his head anyway.
‘And now covering from street 4 near Roy corps, an apartment complex almost burned to dust before the passersby’s very own eyes. The firefighter spent about six hours but some people were not located. The estimated deaths are four and counting… if anyone living nearby or a relative–‘ Lamine jolts up, focused on the words of the woman but they’re slowly making his head spin more and more and he’s losing what is being said. Gavi throws a concerned gaze when he catches the way a very forlorn expression on the guy’s face and turns the radio off.
They drive in silence for a distance before the older clears his throat and slows down the car to ask him if he’s alright. Lamine shakes his head, muttering ‘no’s and not saying a word more than that. The brown-haired boy tries to make him feel better but he doesn’t know what to do, stuck in an awkward sad place. “I was having fun Gav. While these people were stuck and waiting for someone to save them, I was out there trying to score a fucking date… fuck.” Gavi quickly finds an empty space to stop the car on the side and places his hand on the teenager’s shoulder who’s looking so distraught it breaks is heart, rubbing it a little to comfort him. “it’s not your fault, you didn’t know what was going on, you couldn’t have known–” “No. I could’ve known, that’s the thing… that’s the thing! I would know if I wasn’t fucking around and monitoring the area… I-I should’ve known, I should’ve been there… I-I should’ve be–” The suppressed cry comes out as a hiccup and the watery eyes don’t dry up no matter how he tries.
Gavi scoots over and holds Lamine in his arms, lets the boy shake against his chest. His heart breaks to see him like this. Lamine is a very sweet and caring child, no matter how tough he acts – which is why he’s such a nice superhero that goes around helping people without any benefits, in fact even having to hear so much setback so many times. He considers it his duty to stop everything, considers it his fault for not being able to solve what he theoretically could. It makes him an amazing superhero but very damaging for himself. Gavi only hopes for this boy to not be so hard on himself all the time, he deserves to live his teenage without being burdened by these things. But the boy is as stubborn as he is caring.
He holds Lamine until the boy slouches into his side, he has seen Lamine grow up since he was almost a baby and now, he is a little brother to him. One that he can’t see this gloomy and self-deprecating. “It’s not your fault Lamine… it’s not your fault, look at me.” He supports the younger by his shoulders and gives him a smile, “you are not wrong for having fun with your friends, thousands of people were doing that, they’ve never even saved one person in their whole life. You help hundreds every day. Don’t hold this against yourself, besides they were saying it was really serious. You probably wouldn’t be able to do anything even if you were there.” They both sit in silence and then he hears a small ‘I could’ve tried’ but the boy nods and lets Gavi give him a pitiful look.
The man stops by and gets him an ice cream which cracks a bit of a smile on his face but he still can’t move the heavy guilt off his chest. Halfway through he looks at Gavi and very timidly tells him he doesn’t feel like going anymore. The older understands and offers turning the car around to go back home but he disagrees, not wanting to ruin his day. He gets off at the bus stop and lets the older wave him a goodbye.
He barely greets his mom who’s a little surprised, grabbing his backpack and heading out. He changes with a speed in the public restroom and heads out. The whole time, he can’t get the news out of his head. The one day he decided to lack off, he got a heavy reminder of how its not a child’s play to be a hero. Not that he ever considered it one, but perhaps immaturity and naivety come naturally to such a young boy without it being intentional. No matter how much he convinces himself that he’s far more intellectually ahead than others due to circumstances, he is in fact just a little boy. It pierces through his heart.
Even though he tries to distract himself the whole day, swinging in places he’s needed and scaring off lousy robbers that can’t be bothered to fight him, he finds himself at the side of firefighters. The building is almost entirely black and the smokes and ashes stick to the neighbours as well. The fire was uncontrollable, everything inside is burnt to an unrecognisable and he coughs a little, is offered water but declines it. He doesn’t want to lift his mask in front of these people. He sees a call from Gavi but doesn’t pick it up, texts him he’s fine and then mutes his phone, zipping it in his backpack.
He’s more or less useless, the fire is out and there is no one left to help. The things being packed are few, most has burnt to be of no use anymore and is being thrown away. He can only take a look with intense emotions filled in his chest. Throughout the day, he moves around trying to move the big debris and netting risky parts with his webs so they don’t fall off. It’s not much, there’s nothing he can do but watch the giant machines step up and take care of the task.
One of the firefighters gives his shoulder a little squeeze and asks him if he knows anyone in the building. He shakes his head in a no. He can’t explain the weird guilt that has set into his chest, one that taunts him for not being there, for choosing to have a day off in a job that shouldn’t have any days off. The world seems to be mocking him, a huge joke played in his face, one that he can’t even smile at, much less laugh. Its like all the fault of the accident has come down on his back and he’s being crushed under this enormous weight. He has been there, at the brink of nothing with his parents and slowly gaining back a home and then two.
He has never blamed his parents or thought they didn’t provide him with much but he relates to these struggling people, their fallen and disappointed faces. He never wanted it to happen to anyone, it hurt specially when he felt like he could’ve made a difference if he had been here before. All he can do though is helplessly look at their face and watch the little girl with dark hair pulled into two pigtails give a last goodbye to her burnt teddy bear before walking away with her mom.
***
It's already dusk, the nightlights are blinking to life one by one illuminating the steadily darkening city by the time the crew manages to convince him there’s nothing left for him to do and he should go rest, there is not much that can be salvaged and the affected, even as disheartened they are, understand it and have accepted it. His hand travels into his pocket to pull out the abandoned phone, checking for calls – probably his mom and Gavi who get tensed when he’s not responding – well mostly his mom who then contacts Gavi to see if he’s with the older boy who then gets into all ‘big brother’ mode, unlike his dad who lets him get away with these things because he’s a ‘growing boy who’s discovering the world and shouldn’t be caged’. Also because he spends way less time with his dad.
When the screen turns back on though, he sees 8 missed calls from ‘Pau <3’ and his heart drops. Shit.
He swipes away the notifications of Gavi and fanatically dials Pau’s number again and again. It doesn’t go through.
His date. The date he had secured by working hard to gain courage to speak of. The date he was so excited to go on, he couldn’t even sleep all night and kept texting Cuba, who had to deal with his spam blowing up his phone and reassure him that yes they were in fact going on a proper ‘date’ date. 9 am in the morning, one radio news and the entire plan got wiped out of his brain like clicking delete on a file. There were numerous texts from Cuba, as he scrolled on them, his heart fell further down his chest and something of a bile rose up in his throat.
---- 14 new messages---
10:04 hey ^^ I’ll be a few minutes late wait for meee >.<
10:30 I’m here!
11:00 will you be late asw?
11:10 lamine?? Hellooo? O.o
11:30 hey is everything okay?
11:30 You’re not picking up your phone, is everything okay?
11:30 I’m waiting for you…
11:32 you can tell me if something is wrong :(
11:35 I feel kind of awkward sitting here alone
12:26 are you making fun of me..?
12:31 sorry I’m nervous…
12:31 I know you wouldn’t
12:32 can you answer my call?
12:32 I just want to talk
13:00 thanks for nothing.
13:00 I hope you laughed well
14:00 hey I’m sorry, I was a little frustrated
14:00 are you okay?
14:00 It’s alright if something happened, just tell me
14:00 I hope you’re fine.
17:00 why don’t you just say you didn’t want to see me anymore, didn’t have to be so cruel.
----You can no longer send messages to this number----
He keeps calling but the boy on the other end obviously doesn’t pick up. Nothing goes right. Nothing goes right when he needs it to. He shoves his phone back into his pocket and doesn’t bother to waste more time, throwing his hoodie over his costume and changing his pants in a rush, stuffing it into his backpack with a single route in mind. His heart is dropping further down his chest with every minute, just thinking about how he ghosted Pau – how the boy would be feeling about it makes his throat block up, suffocating.
When he knocks on the door, his heart feels like its going to jump out of his chest and run away, leaving Lamine alone to deal with the mess his mind has made on its own. It takes some time but the door finally opens, Pau stands there with wide eyes, a little surprised to see him, and in his shock he can’t display the disappointment and anger he had just a moment ago. Before either of them can utter a word, he sees the familiar curly dark hair come in between and try to slam the door shut. Lamine swiftly catches Hector’s wrist and prevents him from doing so but quickly let’s go of it when he sees the glare the older passes. “You have some nerve showing up now…”, the voice is dipped in acid and very harsh but before he can scold Lamine, Pau softly pushes his friend towards him, away from the door and firmly puts a stop to any complain he might have. “It’s fine Hector... I can talk to him on my own.”
He sees the dark brown eyes hesitate, worriedly looking at his friend and then they shift to Lamine, instantly darkening and expression turning wary. He supposes he deserves it and doesn’t take it to the heart. With a small nod Hector finally steps away and glares at Lamine again, as if giving a warning, “call me if his excuse is stupider than we initially thought would be.”
With the extra person leaving, Lamine felt his anxiety rise even more. What was he supposed to tell him? He had nothing left to say. He had been an ass, a horrible person who just ghosted the boy he had been blushing and swooning over even though it took so much effort to finally get a date. But how was Pau supposed to know that? All he knew was Lamine Yamal had gone ahead and made a fool out of him, such a big fool. Stupid – he was stupid. But how could he tell what happened? He couldn’t just out who he was. What ‘excuse’ as Hector mentioned, was he supposed to give? Nothing came to mind and he was left biting his lower lip harshly.
The teenagers took breaths awkwardly and then Pau stepped out, closing the door behind him. He could tell his friends were spying on them from the window but he didn’t know if he wanted to shoo them away or keep them there so he wouldn’t have to face Lamine alone. All he could hope for was that he wouldn’t break down into tears like he did a few hours ago. Not only would that make him feel shit, it was also incredibly embarrassing to do it in front of Lamine.
“Who was involved?” Pau started, throwing Lamine off guard. He was still trying to think of what to say. In his hurry to see the boy he had absolutely lost the thought of what he would say once he does get to see Pau. This unexpected question made him furrow his brows, mouth a little agape in confusion, trying to understand what was being said to him but Pau’s face was hardened with determination to hear his answer. “Don’t try to play dumb with me…” he almost growled out, the usual cheerful voice turned sour, then his shoulders dropped. Like he was disappointed. “… please. Just don’t lie to me.”
The green eyes stared at him in a haze, looking darker than they ever had, “I don’t know what you’re talking about I swear Pau… I … I have no clue what you’re saying.”
“Lamine please. Just spit it out, who did you make a bet with?”
Everything finally clicked in place, cogs and wheels in his head finally turning and he couldn’t help the small laugh that just burst out, Pau looked even angrier at his reaction but he couldn’t stop the stupid chuckles. The boy looked at him in disbelief and twisted his mouth, upset to see Lamine laugh at him. If anything, he had expected him to at least be nice when he was confessing how he had played around for some bet or just to prove it to his friends. Lamine had not looked so… mean. It came as a shock to him, almost making his previously soaked tears come back. He tried to turn away from the taller boy, turning the knob behind him to open the door and leave, not wanting to be further humiliated.
Lamine scrambles forward to pull the door, his idiotic smile still plastered on his face, hand fastening over Pau’s hand and trapping Pau between himself and the door. Both of their breaths hitch, nervously looking away, eyes not daring to make contact but then he finally brings his own hand forward and holds the pale fingers that are turning red. “I’m sorry it’s just… it’s ridiculous that you think I would do this for a bet, or a game… ” Pau doesn’t say anything, cheeks flushed in satisfaction to hear the response he wanted to but keeping his lips sealed.
“You don’t know how long I’ve been trying to get this.. to get a real date with you. I know I ditched you today but, it wasn’t intentional. You can say that’s an awful apology but I am so fucking sorry. Something... something happened and it took away all my attention. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I couldn’t even believe I was able to get a date with you. I don’t have any excuse, I can’t come up with some stupid lie like my grandma fell sick..” that finally makes Pau chuckle a little though he tries to suppress it immediately but seeing that his guard is finally down, Lamine relaxes. “I’m crazy about you Pau… believe it or not. I’ve been going crazy for a while… heck Bernal fucking hates me when I start talking about you because he’s been hearing about it for ages... I am a fucking idiot. But I never considered this a joke. Nobody would.. Pau you’re… you’re b-beautiful.” He stammers like an idiot and curses himself but it’s the first time he has gained the courage to talk about these things. So much for being ‘nonchalant’ huh? Gavi’s voice rings into his head again, unhelpful as always. “You’re smart, you’re kind.. you’re really one of the best people I’ve ever seen… if anything, it would be a joke from you to go out with me. Don’t think that way about yourself Pau… you can turn me away from your door right this instant. I don’t deserve anything more. But don’t think anyone wouldn’t be the luckiest person in the world to have you…”
Pau looked up at him, leaning against the door and the slight frown on his face was so adorable in the low light. “… but you did really hurt me today.”
“I know. I’m sorry is all I can say..”
“And you’re still not being clear on why you never showed up… or even said you won’t.”
“…I know. And I really can only say I’m sorry for that..”
They both looked at each other, Pau’s eyes subtly going over his face, his expression softer than it had initially been, no longer looking like he’s trying to interrogate Lamine. He rolls his eyes, throwing his head in his hands. “God, this is the worst apology I’ve ever received in my life…” Lamine licks his lip nervously, trying to search for words to interrupt the other but has no time to do that. “…but I’m so fucking stupid that it feels so sincere.. and I like you a whole fucking lot too.”
The wind is trying to be quite funny today, getting strong right at this time, creating a more dramatic scene with his shirt flapping violently. He feels the tingling near his collar when the hand in front of him grabs him and the next second, in front of his wide open eyes, soft lips press against him. Safe to say that is not the reaction he was expecting from Pau and his brain just short circuits for a moment before he’s trying to kiss back just as desperately if not more. Its horrible. He can’t even keep his feet on the ground properly and almost risks tumbling them both over together but then his mouth opens and the wet tongue from Pau’s mouth licks around the inner lining of his lips and his head is on cloud 9.
Both pant as they separate and he tries to chase the now red lips, giving butterfly kisses and pressing Pau against the door once again. His hands don’t dare to touch the shorter, body hot and bothered already with their chests pressed against each other. Pau’s fist that is clenched into his collar finally loosens up and he tilts his head to the side, pushing a hand on Lamine’s chest to stop him. Pau is trying to calm down, belatedly wiping his lips but Lamine is too starstruck, eyes unwilling to look anywhere else. He finally steps back a little to give the boy some space to fix himself up.
Pau looks up at him through his thick lashes, “Tomorrow. Same time… and that’ll be the last time I will ever show up if I don’t see y–“, he can’t finish the sentence as Lamine once again surges forward to peck his open mouth. He screeches a soft “Lamine!” that is probably supposed to be a little harsh but only makes him giggle. From the window, Hector doesn’t bother hiding himself anymore and starts banging on it, making cross sign with his hands and repeatedly screaming ‘no’ with his whole chest which gets muffled and can barely be heard. Lamine tries his best to ignore it but his gaze gets distracted once and Hector makes a sign of watching him… much like Pau, the guy barely looks intimidating and just really funny… which is fine, he supposes. “Don’t worry Pau, even someone as stupid as me won’t mess up a second time.”
True to his words, when Pau arrives, Lamine is sitting quietly by the window with a comically large bouquet and a smile that makes him weak in the knees. Perhaps saying he likes Lamine ‘a whole lot’ is still an understatement.