Chapter Text
30. begging
seven years later
Lily was right: Things did not come undone. At least not the ones that didn’t need to.
There was some tragedy, of course, because young adulthood comes with growing pains, just when you think you’re done growing. Peter got caught up in the wrong crowd, the same right-wing conspiracy group in which Severus Snape and Regulus Black ran. There was violence, there were personal vendettas, scores that needed to be settled; it turned out that Peter had been feeling on the outs in their friend group after James started dating Lily and Sirius and Remus confessed their feelings to one another, and it had driven him into the arms of people with bad intentions. It turned out that Lily and Severus are cosmically intertwined, too, that they can’t get away from each other or their shared history. There was a whole thing involving stolen iCloud passwords and photos and texts. To Peter, it was an attempt to shame Lily—an aspiring author who’s been building a name for herself as an outspoken activist—by exposing her private exchanges with James, who plays professionally for Chelsea and is a Premier League champion. He didn’t care that James would get hurt too, apparently.
It’s harder to tell exactly what happened with her former best friend and what his involvement was, but to Lily’s approximation, Severus had wanted to punish James and didn’t care that Lily was going to get caught in the crossfire, or didn’t care enough to stop it, or didn’t care how much it would hurt her to see the love of her life hurt like that. Peter was hurt and he stole her iCloud password off a sticky note on James’ desk at a game night, handed it over to the leader of their little fascist cult, himself interested in devaluing the name of anyone speaking out against him. It was a disaster, it hurt, it made the news because of the involvement of a rising politician and his relationship to a right-wing terror group, but they got through it. Severus was supposed to serve time for charges related to the Brish Hand but got off with a slap on the wrist. Peter is squirmy and evaded anything at all. Regulus Black has disappeared from the public eye, gone underwater, after ratting on his compatriots, but that hasn’t fixed anything between him and Sirius. None of them actually believe he did it for altruistic reasons.
But even through the upheaval, there has been so much joy. They’re all in London, now, for one, her whole childhood friend group in one place at one time again, after several years apart. If it seems unrealistic, that’s because it is. Sometimes unrealistic things are real.
Marlene and Dorcas were married after graduating uni, they live together in an apartment in Camden with their two cats, Marlene is doing sports journalism and Dorcas is working as a seamstress in the atelier’s of various London-based designers, but Lily knows she’s going to make it big on her own, she’s never had any doubt in that. Sirius and Remus have stayed together, too; Remus is a primary school teacher, now, as he was always meant to be with his gentle words and heart of gold, and Sirius is still a mystery. He’s opened a bookshop, has a podcast, is an amateur chef and mixologist, and studied Russian Literature and Art History in uni for reasons he won’t—can’t, perhaps—explain. Most importantly, he is happy, happier than he’s ever been, and Lily loves him more than she’s ever loved him before. UCL treated Mary well, she’s a ballerina now, a proper one, and she’s got her eyes set on that elusive world of the Royal Ballet—and she’s going to get there, Lily knows this, too. They lived together for a while, heart-shaped rocks lining the windowsills and fairy lights replacing fluorescent bulbs, until it was time for them to get their separate apartments, time for Mary to live on her own and for Lily to find a place in Bloomsbury with James, around the corner from Sirius’ shop and the office of the publishing house where Lily works, a far commute to Chatham for James’ daily football practice, but he insists that he doesn’t mind the drive, and that he doesn’t want to be away from their friends again.
There are new friends, too, Hestia and Kingsley and Benjy and Fabian and Gideon, friends they picked up along the way, a whole family Lily didn’t anticipate having. She and Petunia trade texts and birthday cards, but not much more. They see each other for family holidays but it is clipped. Lily can’t even remember the source of their feud, doesn’t know if they’ll ever actually untangle it, just knows that she wasn’t a bridesmaid at the wedding and that she and James stole a bottle of champagne and left early to go back to her childhood bedroom.
And then there is this:
She pauses a couple steps ahead of him when she realizes he’s not next to her anymore, turns around and assumes he’s tying his shoe.
He’s not. He’s fishing something out of his pocket, actually, and Lily takes a moment to marvel at the fact that men’s pockets can fit little velvet boxes and hers can barely fit her credit cards. What a funny thing to marvel at when James is on one knee and grinning up at her, clearly pleased with himself for catching her by surprise. It’s the same grin he grinned on the first day of school one whole childhood ago, the one she found annoying, the one that is lopsided and sweet and warm, the one that is endearing and has found a permanent place in her heart.
“I had a big speech planned,” he says, “and I’ll give it if you want it, but here’s the main thing: I’m begging you, Evans, marry me?”
It is the easiest answer she has ever given in her life.
The opal in the ring belonged to his mother, the emeralds that surround it he apparently picked out in Colombia during a scrimmage match a year ago. He’s been planning this for a whole year, maybe longer, having the perfect ring made, thinking about their future together, and now it’s here. She has gotten so used to letting go and being let go that the thought of forever should be scary, but it’s not, not when it’s James, not when it’s the family she has found, not when it’s the life she’s made for herself.
Lily has spent a lot of her life feeling unsure of things, and she still is, but not of this:
Everything she needs is right here by her side.