Chapter Text
I’m getting ready for bed when Jesinia slips into the room, her presence as quiet and unassuming as ever. I glance up and sign a quick hello, which she returns with a small smile before raising an eyebrow in question.
Where’s Ridoc?
I shrug, not particularly concerned. Ridoc has been absent most of the night, likely hovering around Bodhi’s room in the hope he’ll be the first to see him return with some kind of explanation of where he’s been. Bless him. Either that, or keeping Vi company while she worries about Xaden.
It’s not that I genuinely think there’s anything going on between them, but the way they interact — Gods — they give me, us, so much ammunition.
Jesinia smirks, clearly thinking the same thing. She moves to her desk, pulling out a fresh page of parchment, but I can already tell by the smug tilt of her mouth that she has something to say, and she notes something down before signing slowly.
Big crowd at the noticeboard tonight.
I huff out a quiet laugh, shaking my head as I pull off my boots. It’s always a strange thing, knowing that I’m the reason for the whispers in the halls, the snickers at breakfast, the wide-eyed looks of scandal exchanged between cadets. No one knows. No one has ever suspected me.
And I’d be lying if I said that didn’t bring me a certain level of glee.
It had started as a bit of fun back in first year — a way to combat the pre-Threshing-round-two nerves and keep my mind occupied. I’d had an extra year of experience under my belt, an advantage that meant I’d seen patterns others hadn’t. The Quadrant was a hotbed of secrets, and I had nothing but time and an observant nature.
Then it had carried on because, well — because it was fun. And because you don’t survive long around Ridoc and Aotrom’s pranks without picking up a trick or two along the way.
Plus, Ridoc is a veritable source of gossip, and you know what they say — it’s not what you know, it’s who you know.
And what they know.
And there were some people who it was fun and easy to include — Violet and Ridoc as a start — and others who it was downright delicious because of how they’d react — namely Xaden and Imogen. I’m under no illusion that Imogen particularly wouldn’t find a way to enact revenge on me, so I’m hoping she’s a little preoccupied for a while, but also — no one knows, and I don’t plan for that to change.
Then there were other people who it felt like a strange petty revenge to talk about. Dain for one. That was one of the few pieces of gossip that I hadn’t felt like giving away — both because I don’t especially enjoy reliving much from the first of my two first years, but also because the two of us hooking up was something that no one outside the two of us, and now Jesinia, could know.
I know he would never tell anyone.
However, his face every time he’d been caught in the gossip-fire had given me a sense of smug satisfaction and petty revenge — one that didn’t really fade until I’d found myself my own happily ever after. Still, seeing him happy with whoever it is doesn’t bother me as much as it used to.
After everything, I think all of us could use a bit more happiness.
There aren’t many things I feel that I — we — got wrong with Gossip Girl; the only exception would probably be the first one after War Games, at the beginning of our second year.
At the point that I wrote that note, I obviously didn't know what had happened with Liam, but looking back I know Gossip Girl got it wrong that day. It took all my energy after it was out there to try to convince Violet that no one cared, and no one minded, especially when I knew I was the one causing this.
So after that, I went back to my fun roots and, well, Ridoc was a happy and willing victim.
As well as a slutty one. Ripe for gossip.
Of course, things got a little more complicated once I started rooming with Ridoc in Riorson House. I’d known about him and Bodhi before most people did, but I’d held off mentioning it — I didn’t want to out them or myself as the source of all the quadrant’s juiciest gossip. But once it was common knowledge? Well. It would’ve been a shame to let such good material go to waste.
Jesinia had figured it out just after the Battle of Basgiath. Apparently, she’d seen one of my notes when Violet had shown her one that mentioned her. Then, when I was in the Healer’s Quadrant, she’d come to visit, and we’d ended up passing notes back and forth. I’d thought nothing of it — until she’d looked me dead in the eyes and written, You’re Gossip Girl, aren’t you?
I’d frozen. Completely. Like a first year caught sneaking out an officer’s room after Threshing.
But then — then she’d smirked and signed, I want in.
Glorious, fabulous, devious woman.
I hadn’t felt up to much at the time, still weak and frustrated from my injuries, but Jesinia had insisted it would be a fun distraction. And, as always, she’d been right. We’d decided early on that including ourselves in the gossip was the best way to avoid suspicion, and she’d taken a particular delight in making some of our own entries wildly inappropriate.
And that’s how I ended up spending much of my recovery — trading notes, scheming, listening to Ridoc run his mouth and gleefully filing away every last word for future use. The thing about Jesinia is that people forget that just because they don’t sign around her doesn’t mean she can’t read their lips. Idiots, underestimating her abilities.
Jesinia drops onto the bed now, stretching out with a satisfied sigh, clearly pleased with her latest handiwork.
And I have to admit — it’s been a good run.
Sure, we haven’t exactly shied away from dramatic revelations and painfully on-the-nose observations, but for the most part, Gossip Girl has been an outlet. A way to step back from the relentless life or death nature of our world and just be ridiculous for a moment. And if that ridiculousness has also sparked some chaos, some tension, some truly unforgettable moments? Well. That’s just a bonus. I’ve got to witness many of them as I’ve sat amongst my friends — seen the way their tension has turned to laughter — lightening the load just enough.
I toss my shirt onto the chair, glancing at Jesinia one last time before settling into bed with her.
As far as I know, no one has ever suspected me. No one has suspected her.
And I’d say that’s a job well done.