Chapter Text
All he did on the bus was pity himself more.
Roman could feel his phone vibrate with messages from the group chat with Logan and Patton, but he didn't move to read any of them.
He continued to look out of the window, exhaling softly as he watched trees and houses pass by as green and tan blurs, not being able to fully focus out them. Why… Why was this happening? Roman knew he couldn't control his feelings, and he knew from past experiences that yeah, it's easy for him to fall in love with someone, but… of all people, why Virgil Storm?
Roman was barely paying attention to the music in the background, his chest tightening just a bit more as he continued thinking. Roman had told himself that he'd never love someone when he wasn't in the right mental state for it. Then again, would he ever be? Was that even a reasonable thing to agree too? He grimaced, unsure.
He had dated Remy for almost a year, but… things broke off. From Remy's end. Roman's chest tightened a bit more at that, but he grieved the idea of love more than their relationship. Breaking things off was for the best. His relationship with Remy hadn't been that healthy, and Roman had been pretty depressed while in the relationship.
It’d been a year and three months since they'd broken things off, now.
Not that Roman stopped thinking about it.
“Inevitable” from The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals started playing, and he sighed. Remy was probably the one who introduced Roman to his love for musicals, too. That being said, it didn’t stop Roman from reshaping his entire personality after their break-up.
He used to be so introverted, almost never speaking to anyone. Now, he did his best to go out of his way to speak to everyone. Everyone knew Roman Prince. He smiled and laughed and joked with everyone he could, and after doing his best to settle into his new school, Roman did his best to find a good friend group. One filled with people that he actually liked.
And everything was going great .
Until he caught feelings for the very person that was more likely to hurt him than help him.
The song began to reach its end, and so did the agonizing bus ride to school.
While he dreaded having to delve into emotions like this, he still wanted to see Virgil. They were getting… closer. Maybe that was enough, right? Just having each other as friends?
The school began to creep closer into Roman's line of sight, the large building towering over the bus, about four stories high, standing proudly. He unconsciously raised the volume on his phone as the chattering of other kids got louder, not exactly feeling in the mood to hear any of it. He just needed to gather his thoughts and everything, to just… collect himself. Get his shit together. Yeah, he'd manage. It'd work.
The bus engine whined a low, resonant hum as the driver stepped on the brake, causing the bus to stop in front of the huge building. Fun.
Running a hand through his hair, he took a deep breath and hauled his bag over his shoulder, mentally preparing himself to deal with people more than he was socially ready for. Even though he acted all extroverted, talking to people still took a lot out of him. It felt like putting on a smiling mask for the world to see, while in reality he was just… tired.
A bunch of younger kids got off the bus before Roman, but he didn't mind. They were usually in a different section of the school anyway, where the primary kids stayed. Roman didn't go to this school before, though, so he wasn't entirely sure what it was like.
He pulled his phone out and paused his music, fixing the canvas under his arm and taking out the earbuds as he walked, and Roman smiled as he watched the younger kids run around, yelling excitedly with energy that he missed. He walked through a few corridors, looking for the canteen - that's where his friends hung out before school starts, and it's where they met up before lessons.
His pace was quick, trying to think about other things, anything that would stop his throat from closing up or from his chest tightening to the point of snapping.
Roman walked through the door to the canteen and quickly scanned the area before finding his friends, and he let a relaxed grin spread across his face. Walking over to them, he held up his free-hand (or at least, the one holding his phone) and waved, but not everyone noticed that he had arrived. Except, of course, Patton.
“ROMAN!!” Patton squealed, and Roman grinned widely, rushing to meet him and hugging him tightly.
“PATTON!” Roman answered back, their extravagant greeting now a daily thing. While hugging Patton, Roman allowed his eyes to wander over the others, who were now looking at him with a small smile. Or, at least, Logan was.
Logan Berry was an academic genius, his dark brown hair slicked back with the exception of one rogue strand delicately draped over his forehead, and he always wore a pair of sleek rectangular frames in front of those deep blue eyes of his. Eyes that always seemed to be able to know what you were thinking. He was wearing a black dress shirt underneath a navy blue sweater vest today, with his signature deep blue-striped tie finishing the look. Roman grinned, remembering the comment he had made at the beginning of the year about Logan constantly dressing like some queer librarian. Logan didn't disagree. In fact, he seemed quite flattered about it - or as flattered as Logan could be. Logan never really disagreed with that.
Janus, however, wasn't as happy to see Roman. He looked Roman up and down, lips twisted in a small sneer as Janus’ heterochromic eyes scanned over him. It was always interesting to Roman - the deep brown and the honey-gold eyes looking like the embodiment of rich soil and liquid sunlight, a balance of real and ethereal. If he wasn't so mean to Roman, he'd probably paint Janus in a heartbeat. Roman winked at him, eyes flicking over Janus' simple black dress pants and sparkly golden blouse. Janus was the one person - other than Remus - that Roman knew from his old school, and while he didn't have any romantic feelings for Janus anymore , they'd still built this friend group here in the year that they'd had together.
“Roman.” Janus greeted distastefully, and Roman smiled.
“Honey. You good?”
“I was better when you weren't here tainting the air with your presence.” Janus smirked, and Roman rolled his eyes.
“Jan, be nice!” Patton chided, and Janus scoffed.
Roman let out a soft laugh as the two began bickering, but he wasn't paying attention. His eyes scanned the canteen, trying his best to find…
There.
His heart skipped a beat and Roman could feel his breath escape his lungs as he saw Virgil walk in.
Virgil didn't look his way - he was talking to Ember, a friend of his. They looked like quite the pair, too.
Ember's dark skin practically glowed in the fluorescent canteen lights, their brown eyes so light that they were practically golden. Their long, dark hair was fixed into tiny braids which were then tied up in a loose bun, the edges dyed orange, because that's the most that the school's dress code allowed. A few braids fell onto their shoulders, their burnt-orange hoodie sporting a black Avenged Sevenfold design, which Roman was surprised he recognized. The skull with bat wings. Pretty cool, pretty badass.
All of this registered in the barest moment at the back of his mind, but even then, he found his gaze drawn to Virgil.
Virgil looked stunning, his dark eyeshadow stark against his pale skin, his rose-colored lips stretched into a happy smile, those chocolate-brown eyes alight with laughter at something that Ember said. Roman's heart fluttered at the sound, watching as Virgil ran his hand through his hair, the black nail polish stark against his fair hands. Roman couldn't help but feel ashamed of the urge to run his hand through Virgil's hair too, wanting to know what that felt like. He was wearing a black hoodie today, with purple patchwork sewn into the material with thigh white yarn. Virgil had told Roman how Virgil made that hoodie himself, the way it had taken him absolutely ages of poking himself in the fingers with needles, and how difficult it was to pull the yarn through the fabric.
He didn't seem to notice Roman, which hurt a bit, but it was fine. Roman understood that Virgil had no obligation to do anything for Roman, he didn't have to care, because they weren't that close. No matter how much Roman wanted them to be. He was still talking to Ember, showing them something on his phone, and Roman vaguely heard something about a bass and guitar.
Grinding his teeth together, Roman forced himself to look away, a soft grief growing at the pit of his stomach. Roman wanted to make Virgil laugh like that. And… besides, looking at Virgil too much might look suspicious. He didn't want anyone to get the wrong idea.
Or , he supposed, the right idea.
Roman attempted to focus on his friends again, turning to look at them, and he could see Logan and Patton engaged in some form of conversation, while Janus seemed to be on call with someone. Probably Remus, Roman knew that the two of them had started dating recently, and they were practically inseparable. Remus always came to school late, though. Something about wanting to sprint to school everyday, for exercise or whatever. Roman didn't exactly care too much. As long as they didn't hurt each other's feelings, they were okay in Roman's books.
“So, okay, I was thinking-” Patton was saying, and Roman did his best to focus on their conversation, trying to ignore the rest of the world around him. “We should go out this weekend! As a group, again!”
Logan nodded, absentmindedly reaching out and tugging at the sleeves of the cat-hoodie that Patton had tied around his shoulders over his light-blue polo, making sure that the sleeves were leveled.
“We could. I don't think we have any prominent tests or anything the week after.” He frowned, looking over towards Virgil, and Roman had to physically restrain himself from doing the same. “Though, I'm not sure if Virgil has any. I haven't gotten used to his schedule yet, and we aren't in all of the same classes.”
“We have a psychology test that week.” Roman murmured, running a hand through his hair. He had most of his classes with Virgil, which made things… distracting, sometimes. “It's okay, though. Virgil's already done quite a bit of studying for it.”
Logan turned towards Roman, raising an eyebrow.
“And you?”
“Excuse me?”
“Have you studied for that test?” His tone was curious, but also… knowing. Suspiciously knowing. Roman didn't like that tone.
“Yes. Enough.” He sighed. “I'll pass.”
“And… a ‘pass’ is a tolerable mark, for you?”
“Mhm. Any more questions, Sherlock?”
Logan's lips twitched in the ghost of a smile at the nickname, but shook his head.
“None.”
“Good.” Roman let out a relieved sigh, not wanting to be questioned too much. Especially not in front of Virgil or Janus.
Roman's heart was still beating at an embarrassingly fast rate, but he tried to take a few deep breaths to calm himself down.
Really, Prince, get it together! You're fighting a battle you already know you'll lose!
But that didn't mean that his heart didn't want to try.
Patton and Logan were discussing places they could meet up and go around to, or what they could do when they got there, when Roman was startled by a light punch to the shoulder.
He jumped a bit, his heart rate spiking at the surprise, and Roman turned to look at his attacker with wide eyes. Virgil was looking up at him with a lopsided grin, the small motion making Roman's already unstable heart clench even further, and he did his best to put up a smooth smile of his own.
“Can I help you?” Roman laughed, punching Virgil's shoulder back lightly.
The emo rolled his eyes, his grin softening into a small smile.
“Did you finish that assignment for today?” Virgil teased, and Roman blinked in confusion, a mild panic settling over him.
“... assignment?”
“You know, filling in that sketchbook with watercolour drawings?”
Oh, oh . Thank goodness.
“Yeah, I did that ages ago. Dude, you scared me.” Roman let out a deep sigh, rubbing his already taut chest, and Virgil burst out laughing at that.
Heavens above, Roman loved that laugh.
“Did you finish the assignment?” Roman asked back, curious.
“Just barely, last night. Cut it a bit short.”
“Damn. Respect.” Roman smiled, letting his guard down just a bit, to feel at ease.
It was so… simple. To have fun, with Virgil around.
The voice at the back of Roman's head was still sad, noting that the fun was momentary, and that it wouldn't last. Roman didn't care, though. He'd let himself feel the happiness for now.
Virgil laughed at that, nodding.
“Yeah. You'd better, Princey.” The nickname caused his heart to flutter and blood to rush to his cheeks, but Roman looked away, doing his best to ignore his feelings. Virgil turned to look at Janus, who was glaring at him, and raised an eyebrow.
“What's up?”
Janus huffed, rolling his eyes and going back to the call. Virgil's eyebrows raised even further, and he moved to go behind Janus to see who he was calling.
Virgil was pretty interested in Remus, but not in a romantic sense. Virgil and Ember were planning on starting a band, and Remus knew how to play the drums, so… any chance at talking to him was a chance Virgil seemed to be willing to take. It was ironic, the fact that Virgil seemed to be more interested in Roman's twin brother rather than Roman himself. Not that he'd ever let his sadness show. Still, Janus cut the call, giving Virgil a pointed smirk.
“In your dreams, emo boy.”
Virgil in question huffed, shaking his head.
“Jerk.”
Before anything else could be said, they all heard the sound of the school's bell across the sound system, its sound a bit dissonant, but still functional. People all around started getting up, the chatter around them growing in volume as a large crowd of people began to exit the canteen, and Roman sighed, knowing they'd have to join them soon.
Today was… a Tuesday. Which meant he'd have around… six out of a total of seven lessons with Virgil. He smiled at that as he slung his backpack back on his shoulder and picked up the canvas again. Roman and Virgil had art as their first and second lesson together, and Roman was excited for every single second of it.
Even if things weren't going to work out, that didn't mean that he had to be entirely miserable about it, right?
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