Chapter Text
Anakin woke with a headache. He kept his eyes closed and shoved his face in the pillow.
The energy around him, what he now knew to be the Force, was so loud . He had forgotten how uncomfortable the Temple was. It was so full of beings like him, all bright and loud. It was exhilarating and overwhelming at the same time. Like he had last time he was on Coruscant, he focused on making everything quieter. He thought back to how he practiced meditation and tried to slip back to that place. Please help , he asked the Force. Quiet, please. It was easier this time, and when he opened his eyes, the noise was there, but more distant.
Anakin breathed a sigh of relief then looked at the room around him. It was small. A ray of sunlight lay on the bed from a small window. There was a sliding door, half open, that revealed a closet filled with several sets of robes. A set of shelves by the bed held mostly books and a couple of pictures. Anakin picked one up. It was of a smiling Obi-Wan, younger but clearly him alongside several others around the same age. Anakin recognized one of the figures as Healer Eerin but he didn’t know the others. This was Obi-Wan’s room, Anakin realized.
Anakin stood. He realized he was still wearing Obi-Wan’s robe. He shrugged it off on the bed and padded to a door which looked like it led to a hallway. He paused in the doorway and listened. He couldn’t hear anything but he could feel a familiar presence close by.
Cautiously, he opened the door and stepped into the hallway. Directly across an open door led to a fresher. To his left, a closed door. To his right, past a short hall he could see an open area divided into a kitchen and a living room. The space wasn’t large but it felt cozy. Anakin turned right. As he got closer he could red hair resting on the edge of a worn couch.
He looked around the room. It hadn’t changed since the last time he had been there. Before Naboo. Before Qui-Gon. The couch was facing a case full of books and a holoprojector. The walls were covered with shelves, crowded pots and vases overflowing with plants. They were leafy green things, some with vines that stretched all the way to the ground. Anakin ran his fingers over a leaf that looked fuzzy. It was.
He glanced over to Obi-Wan. He wondered if he should wake him up, but decided not to. He crossed to the other side of the room. He stepped around a scratched wooden table into the kitchen. Silently, he opened cabinets , taking stock of the contents of each. Curious, he turned a knob he saw over a sink, and jumped when water came pouring out. He quickly turned it back and froze, staring at the couch. Obi-Wan did not move.
Anakin let out the breath he’d been holding. The apartment was clean. He liked that there was no sand to track in and get stuck in every nook and cranny. He liked Obi-Wan too. Their bond felt right in the force. It was the only thing that really felt right, that he was sure about. He opened another cabinet. This one was full of ration bars and dried food. He reached to take a bar and hesitated. Was he allowed?
He suddenly thought back to his mother. To what she had said he needed to do if they were ever sold away.
“Anakin,”
They were cleaning together after dinner. Anakin was old enough to be of real help in the shop, but that day had been hot even for Tatooine and he was tired. He had complained about the work, about the heat and even now, back in their hut, there was tension in the air. Maybe that is what prompted the conversation. From his Amu’s tone, he knew this was serious and he needed to listen.
“You remember why we work at Watto’s shop,”
He did. He knew about the chip under his skin. He wondered where it was, in his shoulder, his thigh, in his chest over his heart. Sometimes, he thought, if he pressed hard enough against his skin maybe he could feel it.
“Ani, I need you to listen.” Shmi stopped what she was doing and sat down. Anakin stood in front of her. Their eyes were level. “One day we might be separated, sold away. You might be taken away from me and there won’t be anything I can do about it. You need to be ready.”
Anakin looked at her, eyes wide.
“If you ever have a new master make sure they know you are a mechanic. They need to know you can fix their machines. You are skilled. You are useful.”
Anakin nodded.
“If you are ever sold away, you will need to figure out where you are, quickly. If your master wants you to go somewhere you need to know how to find it. If there are other slaves, listen to what they say. And the only thing you say to your owner is ‘Yes, Master’.”
“Am I going to be sold Amu?” Ankain asked. He was afraid. He could tell Amu was scared too.
“Not now,” Shmi said, taking Anakin’s hands in hers. “Not now. But Ani, If your Master wants you to carry his bag, what do you say?”
“Yes, Master,” Anakin said reluctantly.
“If he wants you to serve him late meal, what do you say?”
“Yes, Master.”
Her grip was tighter. “If another slave spills the wine but your master blames you, what do you say,”
“Amu?” Anakin was about to start to cry. He tried to yank his hands back but she wouldn’t let him.
“What do you say?” Her voice was fierce.
“Yes, Master.” Tears began to fall and he couldn’t stop it.
“If he hits you. If he beats you and will not stop?”
“Yes, Master. I’m sorry Master,” Anakin cried, trying to pull away. His arms hurt when she held them.
Shmi was crying too. She pulled him into her lap and held him tight. Anakin clung to her in return.
“Don’t cry,” his Amu whispered. “Don’t waste the water.”
Anakin sniffed and hiccuped.
“Oh Ani, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
Obi-Wan didn’t make Anakin call him Master. Obi-Wan was going to be his teacher. Obi-Wan took his chip out, and Anakin realized, must have carried him off the ship.To his new home.
Would his mother be sold away now that he was gone?
Anakin missed her.
It had always just been the two of them. Amu had always gotten along well with the other slaves. They helped each other as much as they could, but when it came down to it it was just them.
Anakin thought back to the ration bars he’d seen in the cupboard. He was hungry. Would Obi-Wan be mad if he ate one? A Master would be mad if he ate without permission. Obi-Wan said he wasn’t his Master.
Before Anakin could make a decision he heard a sigh, some shuffling, then a spike of awareness through the bond. Obi-Wan was waking up. Anakin darted around the couch just as the man opened his eyes. He looked at Anakin, blinked, then sat up.
“Good morning, Anakin.” he said, still rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “Have you been up long?”
Anakin shook his head. He watched as Obi-Wan stood and stretched. He was relieved the older man was finally up. Now they could finally get something to eat. Obi-Wan looked over at a clock on the wall and his eyes widened.
“We overslept! I’m sorry Anakin, I should have gotten up sooner. Have you eaten? Nothing in the refrigerator will be good but I’m sure we have some crackers somewhere or..”
Obi-Wan trailed off as he headed into the kitchen. He threw open cabinets until he found a ration bar. He tossed it at Anakin then turned down the hall towards the room Anakin had slept in the night before.
“Here, eat quick, then use the fresher if you need to. We have to go in about 15 minutes.”
Anakin opened the bar and took a bite. “Where are we going?” he asked.
Obi-Wan stepped inside the room then emerged holding a new set of robes.
“We have an appointment with the Quartermaster so you can get your robes, your boots- everything else you need.”
“Will I get a lightsaber?” Anakin asked eagerly. If he was going to be a jedi then he would have to get a lightsaber.
Obi-Wan was now in the doorway of the fresher.
“Not today,” he said. “You’ll need to learn the basic katas and some force techniques first.”
“Oh.” Anakin was disappointed, He bet other padawans already had their lightsabers. For the first time he wondered just how far behind he really was.
As Obi-Wan disappeared into the fresher, Anakin went back to the cabinet he remembered hid a trash can and threw away the ration bar’s wrapper. He went back to opening cabinets and looking at what was inside until he heard Obi-Wan emerge from the fresher. The man looked more alert and put together in new robes. Anakin froze, expecting to be reprimanded for opening the cabinets, but Obi-Wan didn’t seem to notice.
“Go ahead and use the fresher now,” Obi-Wan said. “Then we’ll go.”
…
The Temple was huge. Anakin hadn’t been able to see much during his last stay, but Obi-Wan now whisked him down long hallways lined with tall pillars. Artwork hung on the walls. Other jedi, young, old, of all shapes and sizes passed by. Anakin wanted to see it all.
The quartermaster kept them for what felt like hours. Anakin was ready to jump out of his skin. The worst was the measurements. He had to stand on a small raised platform while the man measured him for his robes. It reminded Anakin too much of the slave appraisers that he’d seen on Tatooine.
“Maybe I should call an appraiser over hmm?” Watto had mused one time after Anakin had dropped a box of droid parts everywhere. “You keep making messes like this I don’t think you’re worth keeping”.
He hadn’t called an appraiser, but the threat was effective nonetheless.
Anakin had already gotten new tunics and leggings and a new pair of boots. He was being sized for a robe when he felt a jolt of anxiety through his bond. He turned to Obi-Wan just as the man’s comm started buzzing.
“What is it?” he asked.
Obi-Wan was frowning. “I’ve been summoned by the council,” he said. “I’m sure they want me to give my report on Naboo.”
“Didn't you do that already?” Anakin asked.
“Not to the full council.”
Anakin didn’t think that made much sense. Obi-Wan wouldn't be this worried if it was just a report. Anakin thought for a moment, then his eyes widened.
“It’s about me, isn’t it? They want to talk about me. Is it that Windu guy? I know he doesn't like me. Is he going to send me away?” The thought was unbearable. Where would he go? He didn’t want to leave Obi-Wan. Tears welled in his eyes, but he fought them back. Tears were a waste of water.
“Anakin, no,” Obi-Wan knelt in front of him. “I won’t let them send you away. Nobody is mad at you.” Anakin wasn’t sure he believed him, but they were barred from further conversation by the uncomfortable looking quartermaster holding a robe.
“Try these, Padawan Skywalker.”
Anakin pulled on the offered robe. It fit well, and was warm. He turned to the mirror. With the robe on he looked like Obi-Wan.
“Do you like it?” Obi-Wan asked.
“Yes.” Anakin gushed. “Is it really for me? Can I keep it?”
“It’s yours. Padawan.” Obi-Wan paused before saying padawan, like he was unsure.
Anakin grinned, tugging his new robe around himself. They were nice and warm too. While Obi-Wan talked to the quartermaster he jumped up and down, testing his new boots. After a moment, Obi-Wan came back, his arms full with several bags and boxes.
They walked together, slower this time. Anakin marveled at everything he saw. Anakin felt a wave from the force as they passed a hall. He paused and looked down that way. He tried to hold onto that feeling in his mind.
“What’s down there?” he asked.
“That is where you’ll find the Room of a Thousand Fountains,” Obi-Wan said with a smile.
“Oh, Mister Qui-Gon told me about that!” Anakin said. “Are there really plants that are taller than a bantha?”
“Taller,” Obi-Wan said, but now he felt sad. They walked in silence.
They got back to the rooms. Obi-Wan dropped the bags on the table. Anakin wandered back to the plants in the living room. He touched the fuzzy one again. He tried to imagine it growing taller than a bantha. It wouldn’t fit in the apartment.
“Can we go see the big plants?” he asked, turning to Obi-Wan.
The man was staring at him, a glazed look in his eyes. Anakin wrinkled his brow, then realized Obi-Wan was actually looking at the plant.
“Obi-Wan?”
Obi-Wan blinked then cleared his throat. “Yes, soon. Later. He pulled a datapad from some hidden pocket in his robes.
“We have some time before we need to go to the council. Are you hungry?”
Anakin nodded, pushing down his disappointment on not being able to see the fountain plant room right away. He was hungry, had been for a while, but he hadn’t wanted to say anything.
They went to the refractory. It was full of other jedi and the air buzzed with conversation. Anakin bit his lip. He shouldn’t be nervous. He had won the Boonta Eve Classic. He could handle waiting in line, but he still stepped closer to Obi-Wan. They got in line. Anakin stared at the food options in front of him. The last time he had been in the temple, Obi-wan had brought food from the refractory directly to the apartment and Anakin hadn't been able to choose what he ate. He didn't even know what most of the options were. He looked up at Obi-Wan helplessly.
“Do you know what you want?” Obi-Wan asked.
Anakin shook his head no.
“Ok. Do you want me to choose for you?”
“Yes, please”. Anakin held Obi-Wan’s robe while they went through the line. Soon they were sitting with a tray of food. It was bland, but Anakin ate without complaint. He knew that you should never waste food.
At a distant table Anakin heard kids laughing. He turned and saw a group of kids about his age. They all had short braids like his. Unlike him, they had lightsabers on their belts.
Obi-Wan looked from his tray and noticed what had caught Anakin’s attention. “As a padawan you’ll have classes to attend,” he said. “You might have classes with them since they're your agemates.”
“Real classes?” Anakin asked. “Like a school?”
Obi-Wan nodded. “Have you ever been to school before?”
“No,” Anakin shook his head. “Mom taught me what she could. Mechanical stuff mostly.”
“I’m sure she was a very good teacher.”
“Yeah.” Anakin stared at his now empty tray.
“Here,” Obi-Wan pushed some more food onto his plate. Anakin looked at him, questioning.
“It’s ok. I’m not really hungry.”
Anakin frowned, but he was still hungry. He ate the food gratefully while Obi-Wan checked his comm again.
“You ready?” Obi-Wan asked. “I need to make my report to the council.”
Anakin nodded. They left their trays on a conveyor belt that Anakin guessed went black to the kitchen then left. Obi-Wan didn’t say anything as they walked. Anakin, renewed with the meal, started darting ahead and looking down halls, but he noticed a sour feeling coming from Obi-Wan. It reminded him of how his mom had felt whenever the Hutt’s enforcers were around. Anakin slowed down and moved back to walking beside Obi-Wan. Anakin still marveled at the halls while they walked, but he was feeling more and more nervous. Windu would be there and Yoda, and all the other Jedi who didn’t like him. They were Masters. Obi-Wan called them masters and it seemed like Obi-Wan had to listen to them. Would Obi-Wan be able to do anything if they sent him away?
They stopped in front of a large set of closed double doors. Anakin could feel the Force buzzing within. He didn’t want to go in. Obi-wan stopped too. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I wasn’t thinking. You don’t have to be there for my report. Actually, it’s probably better if you weren't. Will you be ok here?” He gestured to the bench that sat by the wall.
Relieved, Anakin nodded. “I’ll be ok,” he said.
“Good,” Obi-Wan nodded. “Wait there. I’ll be back soon.” He pushed through the doors. Anakin caught a glimpse of the jedi sitting around in their fancy chairs before the doors swung closed again.
Anakin walked over to the bench and sat. He tried to listen through the door but heard nothing. His leg bounced. He wondered what they were talking about. He couldn’t shake the feeling this whole thing had something to do with him. Obi-Wan wasn’t a Master. Obi-Wan would have to do what the Masters said, even if it meant sending him away. Anakin jumped from his seat and began to pace back and forth. After a while he began to jump from tile to tile, trying not to step on the cracks. He felt someone looking at him and looked up. Passing Jedi was studying him and he felt a flash of something, disapproval? amusement? through the Force. Anakin went red and sat down on the bench again .
The meeting went on and on. What was going on? Was he in trouble? Was Obi-Wan? Anakin got up and pressed his ear to the door again to try to listen, but again he heard nothing. He sat on the floor with a huff then tilted his head back against the wall and closed his eyes.
The whispers of the energy, the Force, around him grew louder. So much life swirled all around him. He felt like he could reach out and touch it, like it was welcoming him. It felt like when he was meditating with Yoda. The Force was light and beautiful, powerful and awe inspiring. It was the wrath of Leia, the cleverness of Ekkrath and the burning power of Arm-amu all together. Anakin reached a hand in the air. He could almost see the swirls of it dancing between his fingers. Anakin was starting to realize that power lay in him too. He had to learn how to use it. This was how he could free the slaves. This was how he could save his mother.
Anakin continued to play with the Force, shaping it in his hand and mind. He smoothed it like the sand dunes in Tatooine. He built it up until it was the rectangular Sandcrawler favored by Jawas. He had been with his mother to deal with the Jawas a couple of times. He loved seeing all the parts they collected. He had found some of the best parts of his podracer there. As he thought he created little figures next to the sandcrawler, a Jawa, another, a figure slightly taller. His mother. Maybe she was making a deal with the Jawas right now. Or she was at home making a haroun bread. Or maybe Watto had done what he had always threatened and sold her. The Forced darkened around him. The Hutts were always buying and Amu had worked for them before. She never liked to talk about it, but he knew it had been bad. Watto had lost a lot of money in the race. He would probably have to sell her. Anakin felt cold, then colder. He shivered. Suddenly, he realized he was never going to see his mother again.
The doors opened. “Anakin, what are you doing?”
Anakin looked up at Obi-Wan. He looked angry. Anakin flinched as the doors slammed shut. “I don’t know,” he said.
“Were you meditating? It’s too dangerous for you to do on your own. You need more training.” Anakin felt a probing feeling from the bond. He glared at Obi-Wan. “What are you doing?”
“What were you doing? Obi-Wan countered. “Your Force signature feels…”
Anakin did not like this feeling. “Stop it,” he said.”
“Anakin,”
“Stop it!” Anakin thrust out his hand. Obi-Wan flew back and slammed into the wall.
Anakin froze. “I’m sorry!” he said, “I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”
Obi-Wan groaned as he pushed himself up. “It’s Ok Anakin. I’m ok.”
Anakin breathed hard. He’d ruined it now. The Masters were going to come and take him away. He curled up on the ground, knees to his chest and hands covering his ears.
“Anakin, it's ok. Let’s go.” Anakin still didn’t move.
“Anakin let’s go.” Obi-Wan sounded angry.
What do you say?
“Yes, sir,” Anakn said.
“Anakin.” It was a defeated sigh. Anakin looked up at Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan had his face in his hands. He sighed then straightened. He still looked angry. “Let’s go.”
Anakin walked behind Obi-Wan all the way back to the apartment. Obi-Wan opened the door and gestured that he should go on. Anakin made it to the living room then turned around. Obi-Wan was still standing in the doorway. He didn’t look angry anymore, just lost.
“I’m sorry.” Anakin said again. Obi-Wan sighed deeply.
“I know. I should have reacted better too.” Anakin waited but Obi–Wan still didn’t move. Anakin shifted his weight from leg to leg.
“What do we do now?” Obi-Wan blinked like he was coming out of a daze. Anakin felt a jolt of alarm. Obi-Wan looked like the field workers when the Masters took away their water ration, exhausted and ready to drop.
“Obi-Wan, are you-”
“Let’s get your room ready,” Obi-Wan interrupted. He moved deeper into the apartment, bursting with new energy. Anakin dutifully held the cleaning supplies Obi-Wan placed in his arms. They started in the room Anakin had spent the night in. Obi-Wan helped him put his new clothes away in the closet. Obi-Wan’s robes were tossed onto the couch in the living room. Together, they cleaned the bathroom, hall and kitchen. Obi-Wan didn’t say much besides instructions on what to do. Anakin didn’t dare to say anything at all.
Anakin’s headache was back. Was Obi-Wan really going to let his actions slide? Certainly he was going to be punished. Maybe Obi-Wan was going to let the Masters do it instead. Still, they kept working. The two of them scrubbed until every surface was gleaming in a way Anakin had never thought possible.
“”Alright,” Obi-Wan said. “This looks good. Go to the closet. There’s a mouse droid there that can vacuum the floor.”
Anakin perked up at the mention of the droid. He wondered what model it was. Maybe Obi-
Wan would let him take a closer look at it. He ran to the hallway and paused. He saw the closet door but there was another door in the hallway too. It was the only room in the apartment they had not touched. Anakin kept closer. He glanced back to Obi-Wan, but the man was pushing his robes into a more contained pile on the couch. He opened the door.
It was Qui-Gon’s room. It burst with the older jedi’s force signature. The room was simple. A bed, a desk overflowing with plants. A large robe lay carelessly on the bed. Anakin brushed his fingers against the robe. He wished Qui-Gon was here. He moved to the desk and looked closely at the plants. They had leaves of all different shapes and one had a spikely blue flower. Anakin poked it and the spines bit into his finger.
“Anakin, did you find the- oh.” Anakin turned and saw Obi-Wan in the doorway.
“We should water these plants too,” Anakin said.
“Right,” said Obi-Wan. He left but was back in a moment with the watering can. Anakin watched as Obi-Wan watered the plants there with practiced ease.
“I need to apologize,” Obi-Wan said as he watered. Anakin wrinkled his brow. Apologize? Why would Obi-Wan apologize to him? “I should not have shouted at you earlier,” Obi-Wan said. “You’ve done nothing wrong. There’s just too much you don’t know yet.”
Ankin shuffled uncomfortably. “But I pushed you.” He said. “Shouldn’t I be in trouble?”
Obi-Wan sighed and set the can down. “You didn’t mean to. And you haven’t had the training you need to be in control yet, but That will come in time.” Obi-Wan sat down on the bed. He ran his fingers on Qui-Gon’s robe just like Anakin had. Anakin felt a wave of muted grief in their bond. “I’m sorry you can’t have him here. He would know how to guide you much better than me.”
“Are the Masters going to kick me out?" Anakin finally blurted out.
“Oh, no, Anakin,” Obi wan said. “No, they wanted to talk to me about the dark-sider we fought. You’re not going to be sent away.”
“But I pushed you," Anakin said again, shaking his head. “I pushed you, that’s not allowed. We’re not allowed to fight. We can’t.” the band holding his braid together unraveled and fell to the floor. Anakin clenched his fists. He felt cold again inside and all around him. Obi-Wan scooped down and picked it up.
“You are not going to be sent away,” Obi-Wan said again. “Come here.” Anakin breathed in and out but he listened and sat down next to Obi-Wan.
“This isn’t Tatooine,” Obi-Wan continued. “You can fight back. I’ll teach you how. I’m not going to abandon you.” He reached up and redid Anakin's braid. “Remember, teacher, padawan, and the Force. Together.”
“Together,” Anakin whispered. The cold lessened. Obi-Wan pushed it away as he rewound the braid and finally tied it off with the band. Anakin looked at the robe again.”You’re really allowed to fight?” Anakin asked.
“Yes,” Obi-Wan said.
“You’ll teach me? The Masters will let you teach me?”
Obi-Wan frowned slightly but he said, “Yes.”
“Ok,” Anakin said. He reached up and tugged on his braid. He wondered what his mother would think of it. “Have you ever said misu ?” Anakin asked.
“No,” Obi-Wan said. He looked like he was about to say something then stopped. “I was- well it’s not important really but I wasn’t on Tatooine. Then. Some things were different.”
Anakin was curious but he didn’t press. “It’s for when someone dies or is sold away. You know, when you won’t see them again.”
“I see,” Obi-Wan said. “Can you tell me how it goes?”
So Anakin did. He said misu for Qui-Gon. And his Amu. And for Kitster and everyone else he left behind. Obi-Wan spoke for Qui-Gon, then closed his eyes like he was meditating. Anakin wondered who else he was thinking of.
After Anakin helped Obi-Wan put Qui-Gon’s robe in the closet then moved Obi-Wan’s clothes onto the bed. Then they went to the dining hall for dinner.
“Do you want me to order for you?” Obi-Wan asked. Anakin stood up straighter.
“No, I can do it,” he said. And he did. Anakin felt the waves of the Force around him. It moved with all of the jedi in the temple. He felt the Force between him and Obi-Wan. It was strong and steady. He missed Amu . He missed Qui-Gon, but he was so glad he had Obi-Wan.
Anakin was going to be a jedi. He was sure of it.