Chapter Text
It had been an entire month since Emmy’s latest meltdown, and Elliot and Casper were starting to believe they might finally be free. No more bizarre “apologies,” no more ridiculous PowerPoint presentations, no more random packages of glitter and questionable fanart showing up in their lockers. They were, in a word, living their best lives—until, of course, Emmy had other plans.
It started innocently enough with a text. Elliot was lounging in the cafeteria, scrolling through his phone, when he saw the notification.
Emmy: hey Ewiot-kun i was thinking about u
“Ugh, no,” Elliot groaned, putting his phone face down. He could already feel the headache coming on.
Casper, who had been casually flipping through a graphic novel, glanced over at Elliot. “What’s up? Another one of Emmy’s masterpieces?”
Elliot sighed. “Yeah. This time it’s a ‘poetry slam’ entry that they’re ‘sure’ I’ll love.”
Casper smirked. “I can’t wait to hear this one.”
The two braced themselves, knowing Emmy’s next move would be equally absurd.
Seconds later, another notification popped up.
Emmy: i wrote u a poem! it’s about us and love and 4ever!!!!!!
Without waiting for any further discussion, Elliot opened the text. The words that followed were… well, they were something. He read aloud, his voice laced with a mixture of disbelief and horror:
"Elliot, my sweet, my precious, my king,
With you, my heart will forever sing.
We will walk through life, hand in hand,
And build our love on a glitter-filled sand."
Elliot glanced up at Casper, who was trying desperately not to laugh. “Glitter-filled sand? What does that even mean?” Elliot shook his head in disbelief.
Casper took a deep breath, barely holding in his snickers. “What kind of cringe are we looking at here? A love poem with a literal glitter factory in it?”
But the poem didn’t end there. No, there was more.
"Casper, my love, you are second to none,
But only if you let me have some fun.
Together, we’ll make dreams come true,
But only if you let me kiss Elliot too."
Both Elliot and Casper’s faces turned pale as they read the last line. “Oh my god,” Elliot muttered, completely mortified. “What the hell is wrong with them?”
“I think we’ve officially entered hell now,” Casper replied, trying to remain calm.
It was then that a loud banging noise echoed from the other side of the cafeteria. A chaotic whirlwind of neon green and sparkles emerged, and there stood Emmy, decked out in yet another disturbingly over-the-top outfit—this time it was a full-on fairy princess costume, complete with wings that looked like they were made from the cheapest fabric imaginable. Emmy flung themselves dramatically onto the table between Elliot and Casper, causing several lunch trays to fly off the edge in the process.
“I told you I wrote a poem just for you guys!” Emmy squealed, their eyes wide with manic excitement. “Wasn’t it amazing? I’ve been practicing my craft for months, and I just know you’ll both fall in love with it!”
Elliot and Casper stared at Emmy, the horrific realization dawning on them that they were going to have to go through yet another of Emmy’s delusional stunts. Casper, who was now visibly losing his patience, stood up, his face twitching with restrained rage.
“Emmy,” he began slowly, “we’ve been over this. You are not a part of our lives. You will never be a part of our lives. Can you please leave us alone?”
But Emmy, completely oblivious to any form of social cues, clasped their hands together in a mock prayer pose. “Oh my gosh, you guys are so cute when you’re shy! I can’t wait until our first official date! I’m going to take you both to the fanciest vegan restaurant in town! It’s going to be soooo romantic. I’ll wear my wedding dress!”
Casper, who was now fully fed up, slammed his fist down on the table. “Stop. Just stop. I don’t care if you bring the whole cast of the Hunger Games, you are never going on a date with us. Ever.”
Elliot, also nearing his breaking point, stood up. “This is insane. You’re insane. You need help, and I’m not going to be the one to give it to you.”
For a split second, Emmy’s face faltered—just a tiny crack in their ever-delusional mask. But then, as if snapping back into character, they giggled manically. “Oh, you two are so adorable when you're pretending to be mean! Just wait until you see what I’ve got planned next! You won’t be able to resist me!”
And just like that, Emmy was gone, skipping away through the cafeteria like a deranged, glitter-covered imp.
Elliot and Casper exchanged a long, defeated look.
“That’s it. We have to go straight to the police. Or Satan. Or... honestly, I’d prefer Satan at this point,” Casper said, voice dripping with sarcasm.
Elliot nodded. “I feel like we’ve tried everything, and nothing works. What else is left to do?”
As they left the cafeteria together, a strange feeling settled over them—an ominous dread that they hadn’t seen the last of Emmy. And as they walked through the school hallways, they both knew deep down that there was still one final confrontation waiting for them.