Chapter Text
Incorrect Quotes #4
—--Cat Fight——
ESTJ: Let’s settle this catfight in the ring!
ENTJ: …hm~let’s settle this in bed.
ESTJ: What?! In the ring!
ENTJ: In. Bed.~
ESTJ: In The RING!!
ENTJ: In. BED.~
ESTJ:...FINE!!!
-—Gosilliahh!——
*monster appears in town, everybody panics*
ENFP: RUNNN! IT’S\GODZILLAAAA
ISTJ: It looks like Godzilla but due to international copyright laws, it’s not.
ENFP: BUT STILL WE SHOULD RUN LIKE IT IS GODZILLA!!!
ISTJ: No it isn’t.
Both: AHHHHHHH-
--Sorry–
ENFJ: Y’know, It’s really not that serious, ESTJ
ESTJ: REALLY?! YOU SHOULD TELL TO THAT ONE BEFORE SHE WINS THE FUCKING GAME AGAIN!!!
ENFP: I’m just sorry I actually know how to play the game and I’m at least good at it
ESTJ: YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO PLAY IT RIGHT AND YOU FUCKING CHEAT AND STEAL ALL THE MONEY OFF THE FUCKING TABLE!!!
ENFP: HOW DO CHEAT AT A DICE GAME-
——Friendship solves everything???-----
ENTP: It’s really cute you’re defeating me with “the power of friendship and all” but then again I am literally the devil from THE BIBLE! So I don’t know how that’ll-
ENFJ: YOU DIDN'T LET ME FINISH! I HAVE THIS POWER IN MY HA-
ENTP: *stutters* I DON’T CARE! I JUST DO NOT CARE–
—-Cheese Grilled—--
ESTJ: Well you’re safe now. So get out.
ISTP: I’m hungry.
ESTJ: Then lick that coat. You smell like a-
ISTP: Grilled. Cheese.
ESTJ: What?
ISTP: Grill me a cheese.
ESTJ: I’m not grilling you a cheese!
ISTP: *cries*
ESTJ: Oh, for God’s sake!
—-Homegirl can’t cook—-
ESFP: Bitch, she has McDonolds, INTP, where you get McDonolds?
INTP: McDonolds?
ESFP: Bitch, give me a fry.
INTP: Is that how you ask?
ESFP: Bitch, please give me a fry!
—RIEEEEEE—
ISFP: Words ending with “-ie” just sounds adorable ^///^
ENFP: Yeah like, Cutie!
ESFP: Sweetie!!
INFP: Cookie!!!
ENTP: Die!
—Flowers—
ISTP: Hey, INTP. What kind of flowers do you prefer?
INTP: I like sunflowers.
ISTP, pulling out a bouquet of Venus Flytraps: Well, shit-
—-Animal Rights—
ENTJ: You support gay rights so you must be gay.
ENFJ: I support animal rights, do I look like a fucking alpaca to you?
—-Pent up Crash out---
ENFJ: If you are a game designer and you force me to kill wolves AND you have them make sad puppy noises, then I'm killing you.
ISTP: See, this never happens in spider solitaire for windows.
—Soap—
ESFJ: Do people actually put thought into zodiac posts or do people just randomly write down what soap the signs are?
ENFJ: Sounds like something an exfoliating citrus soap would say…
—Lush Hush---
INFP: When you work at lush and a customer comes in and bites the soap because they think it’s cheese... this happens way more frequently than you think.
INTP: If you stopped literally presenting soap as deli food this wouldn't happen.
INFP: Who goes into a bath store and thinks something covered in glitter is cheese?
ENFP *walks in with orange glittery bits on her mouth* : Who goes to the store and just takes a bite from the cheese?
INFP, shocked: ....
INTP, unimpressed:....
—The Cook of All Time—-
ESFJ: So ENFP, how did your first time cooking dinner go?
ENFP: Pretty good if I do say so myself.
ESFJ: Okay, what are we having?
ENFP: Alright, so for appetizers, we have a potato.
ESFJ: A whole potato?
ENFP: Yes. And then for the main course, we have grilled cheese sandwiches!
ESFJ: These just look like big slabs of black.
ENFP: Because that's what they are!
ENFP: And then for dessert, we have chocolate.
ESFJ: These are just chocolate chips?
ENFP: They sure are!
ENFP: And then for drinks, we have toast!
ENFP: *lifts up a glass of blended toast* Bon appetite!
ESFJ: *looks at ENFP with genuine concern, shock, and disappointment*
—Bonus!---
Rohan: I don’t know how to fix a car
Sven: Dude, how many times do we have to go through this, you’re an ISTP, you can fix a car.
Rohan: ….I’m getting sick of your stereotypes.
Sven: Be as sick as you want, just fix my damn car!”
Rohan: *fixes car, gets in, and starts the engine successfully*....Goddammit.