Chapter Text
"VIRIDIAN!"
izuku felt himself snap out of his blind
rage at the familiar voice, his raised fist freezing mid punch. he let hizashi pull him off of the villain, suddenly feeling like he couldn't support the weight of his own body. everything was a blur, like he was plunged into the depths of a cold, dark lake.
he could hear voices around him, like people talking. to him? to each other?
he wasn't sure.
his vision flickered in and out of focus. he saw hizashi's face. his mouth was moving but izuku couldn't hear what he was saying. he looked worried.
was he crying? izuku didn't mean to make him cry.
his gaze dropped to his own hands in his lap. they were sticky, covered in dark red.
oh.
"i'm sorry," he whispered, his own voice sounding muffled to his own ears, like he was underwater. he saw hizashi moving.
"i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i-"
"its okay. its okay, izuku, its okay.” hizashi’s voice broke through the haze like breaking glass and izuku struggled to latch onto his voice, his words.
"i- i was," he cut himself off between panicked gasps. The firm yet gentle hand slip over his cheek to guide his frantic gaze to meet grounding green eyes.
"i'm scared." he never lost control like that. what was he thinking? what would hizashi think?
what would shouta think?
“i wasn’t even on patrol. i just needed some air and-“ the moment the words tumbled out of his mouth, it was like the dam flooded open. “and then, they just jumped me and i wanted to ignore them and leave them to the pros. but then, they were talking about dad and i- i just-“
“okay, okay, shh,” hizashi hushed, his voice just on the edge of frantic but his ward was to panicked to notice.
“something is wrong with me,” the vigilante breathed out in quiet horror.
“aizawa izuku, there is nothing wrong with you,” his guardian says firmly, his tone finally snapping into something stern and sure, leaving no room for argument. “you’re hurting and you made a mistake. that doesn’t take away the person you are.”
the person he was?
who… was he?
you’re a good kid. i’m proud of you.
he no longer hear hizashi’s voice as blood rushed into his ears, roaring too loud for anything else.
smart boy.
izuku choked on a breath, lungs screaming at the lack of air, not realizing when he stopped breathing.
self sacrificial little shit.
he needed to breathe but he couldn’t. he couldn’t he couldn’t he couldn’t-
a hero through and through.
it could’ve been minutes, it could’ve been longer, but soon, his vision fades to black, taking the terror that held him in a chokehold with it.
…
my baby.
izuku hears a voice through the darkness, recognizing the familiar voice even though it was choked through sobs. he felt as though he was drowning through thick viscous mud. he couldn’t open his eyes, couldn’t speak, couldn’t move his limbs.
so, he listens. wishing, wishing, wishing to speak to this voice he missed so much.
my baby, my baby, my brave boy.
dad, he cries in his mind, knowing his voice goes unheard.
come back to me, please? please, izuku? you don’t have to do anything, i’ll take care of everything, i promise. you iust need to open your eyes, sweet boy.
i’m tired, dad. he pleads helplessly. he was tired of pretending to be okay, of messing up when he was not. he was broken wasn’t he? how could he ever go back to the person he was before?
who.. was he? which part of him mattered so much? that he was so scared of losing?
my son.
you’ve fought so hard, you must be so tired. you’ve done so much already but dad needs you to wake up, okay?
there wasn’t much he thinks he could do but… he could do that, he thought distantly. the voice sounded so sad. he could do this much.
with herculean effort, izuku managed to blink his eyes open, his vision fuzzy. it took a second for him to realize he was no longer outside by the streets, instead cradled in safe arms, staring up at the ceiling of their apartment.
“i’m sorry,” he breathed out, voice rough and scratchy. silence followed for a heartbeat, two, until izuku was unsure if he spoke at all.
“its okay,” his guardian replied finally, voice fragile like glass, petting a gentle hand through his hair. the silence continued for a while longer while the man seemingly gathered his thoughts as izuku blinked lazily at the ceiling.
“you’re just a kid, aizawa izuku,” hizashi whispered, his eyes glassy with unshed tears but his gaze steady and unwavering, boring into izuku’s, demanding no arguments, no misunderstanding. “you’re a good kid that life has hurt too deeply, forced to grow up too quickly. but you’re still a kid that is going to fuck up and make mistakes and that is okay.”
“who am i?” he asked, because he doesn’t really know anymore and it felt important.
“you’re enough. you’re a kid doing his best and that is enough.”
izuku didn’t believe it. not yet. but for now, just for a little bit, he closes his eyes to let the adults take care of the burden of the world while he let his guardian hold him together.
just for a little longer.