Chapter Text
Kitty:
She had no reason to be nervous, at least that's what Kitty told herself.
If she was being honest with herself she had every reason to be nervous. This was Min Ho. The love of her life.
Now that she was thinking about it her plan felt really stupid. Why couldn't she tell him? So what if it ruined their friendship? She had spent too much time worrying about ruining things with people in her life and not enough being direct. Not being direct only hurt people. She hated hurting people. She hurt Juliana by letting Yuri kiss her last semester. She'd hurt Praveena by not more upfront about her feelings for Yuri, and why? Because she'd wanted to be with Yuri so bad that she'd made a mess of everything, dragged innocent people into the situation and let them get hurt. She still felt guilty over the whole situation. She and Yuri were at a distance. She didn't think she could do friendship with Yuri after everything that went down last semester.
This semester she was determined to learn from her mistakes. If Min Ho didn't have feelings for her she'd try to salvage their friendship in anyway she could. If he did feel for her as well and wanted to be with her then she would jump at the chance.
But why had she done it like this? Why was she hiding behind "study dates" and psychological games, when she could just tell him? Why did Q have to be right all the time?
She knew that she had to tell him. A part of her was tired of all of the hiding that she had been doing when it came to love. LJ had once told her that if you cared about someone enough that they were worth fighting for. Why did LJ's words have to live in her head and repeat themselves at the worst times? For Kitty, Min Ho was worth it. If that meant putting herself on full display by telling him her feelings like he'd done on the plane for her. So Kitty needed to be brave. She just hoped she had enough bravery to not run away when they made eye contact. Usually when Min Ho looked at her, Kitty felt like dissolving into a pool of liquid. Like she was a candle and his dark eyes were a flame. Even the thought of him looking at her made her knees weak.
Kitty was drying her hair when a call from Min Ho came.
Before she could even get a word in he said in one big rush of words, "Eunji'snbor."
"I'm sorry what?"
"Eunji's having the baby." He says more clearly
"Wait what?"
"Do I need to repeat myself, again, Covey?"
Kitty bites back a retort as she asks, "Where is she Min Ho?"
"Currently being examined by the doctor. I do not know how far dilated she is, or whatever. But I'm freaking out Kitty. I called Joon Ho like five times and they've gone to voicemail every time."
"Your kidding me."
"I most certainly am not Covey."
"Have you tried calling your dad?"
"Yes and he said that Joon Ho went on a hike after seeing him a while ago. A hike, which means no internet, which means that when I tell Eunji she is going to kill me."
"She's not going to kill you Min Ho."
"Oh yes she will Kitty. You didn't see the murderous look in her eye the first time I told her that I couldn't reach Joon Ho. She looked like a woman possessed. I have a feeling she is counting down really quickly here. I can't do this alone. I can't Covey I won't survive this. I mean it. You can come to my funeral so I can say I told you so."
She rolls her eyes at him being so out-of-this-world dramatic, his brain should really be studied. But now was not the time to indulge his dramatic tendencies, "Min Ho, pull yourself together! Until you can get a hold of somebody who isn't losing their mind about this you need to calm down, being dramatic and whiny only hurts Eunji."
As if she could hear their phone call, Kitty heard what she thought was Eunji's voice yell for Min Ho. Kitty put her ear back to the phone. Eunji was asking if he'd gotten hold of Joon Ho, he told her no, then Kitty heard her sniffling. Okay, guess Kitty had things to do today after all. She told Min Ho to put her on the phone with Eunji, to see if she could get her to calm down. After a little convincing Min Ho was able to get Eunji to talk to Kitty.
"Hey." Kitty said delicately
Eunji sniffled again, "Hi"
"So, um, how far dilated are you?"
"The doctor says I'm half way there." She says another with another sniffle.
Kitty isn't quite sure what to do here, but if she knows that if she were in Eunji's position she would want one of her sisters. But Eunji's siblings are younger than Kitty from what she knows.
"Do you want Min Ho to call your mom?"
"No, no, no. That would make this so much worse." Then she bursts out in tears, "I can't do this alone Kitty, Joon Ho promised me he'd be here. But he's not."
Kitty tries to be encouraging by saying, "You're not alone, Min Ho's there."
Eunji lets out another cry, her voice coming out strangled and horse "You and I both know that he is completely incompetent."
Kitty makes a decision then. She doesn't know how she will help, besides holding Eunji's hand. And what? Soothing her and try to be encouraging. Kitty knew she couldn't listen Eunji crying like this. So Kitty tells her that she will be there in about 30 minutes and to pass the phone to Min Ho.
"Wait you're coming?"
"Yeah."
"You don't need to. I have things handled here."
"Yeah right, you have this handled and I go by Katherine. I'm coming."
"Kitty--"
"I'm coming, keep trying to get a hold of Joon Ho or your dad."
"Okay." Min Ho sighs
"And Min Ho?"
"Yeah, Covey?"
"Don't be annoying."
She turns off the call before he can say anything to her.
Min Ho:
Min Ho was going to pass out. He was convinced he would.
He didn't have much experience being around pregnant woman. Why would he? He's seventeen. But he is really bad at this.
Like really bad at this.
He's glad he called Covey. She knew what she was doing, well sort of. As far as he knew she had never been in a delivery room. But all he knew is that he didn't want to be in one until it's his kid. He's in the waiting room now, bouncing his leg because if he doesn't move he will actually loose it. Because what was Joon Ho thinking? His wife is in her last month of pregnancy and according to Eunji he promised to stay close in case of this exact scenario. Once he finally managed to get a hold of his dad he immediately went on the trail, looking to find Joon Ho. He said he'd call Min Ho once he found his brother.
The call he'd made to Kitty was one made in panic. Not that he usually went to Kitty in panic situations. In fact he usually deescalated situations for Kitty. Well sometimes at least. Like that time where she intercepted and got him a date with Lulu. It was miraculous and somehow it only made him love her more.
He didn't realize what an effect someone he'd known for such little time could have such a deep and profound affect on him the way Kitty Song-Covey had. Now here she was, on her way to hold Eunji's hand while she waited for Joon Ho. Something that she didn't have to do but decided to do anyways. Because that was the person she was. She would show up for a person no matter what. She would always look out for them despite anything else.
He's still shocked that she didn't completely stop talking to him after what he said to her about Stella. But he paid a price for it. He'd lost any sort of chance of the potential of a them. Min Ho wishes he had been more direct with Kitty about his feelings. He hid his feelings for her like it was something to be ashamed of. Buried them like, even if someone just glanced for a second, and saw him staring at her lovingly. He was scared of what? Being judged? Where had that fear gotten him? With an ex-girlfriend who had tried to ruin his family, manipulated his social circle, made him believe Kitty was crazy. And broke his heart. It's not that he had deep feelings for Stella or anything like that but he did like her. Liked the idea of what she presented to him. Somebody safe, somebody who didn't annoy him thoroughly. Someone who was innocent and good. It was easy enough to try and forget Kitty and just be her friend. But it was physical and emotional agony. Before he'd met Stella, before he trashed whatever potential they could have had, Min Ho wondered if Kitty could care about him, like he cared about her. Some part of him thought so. It's not that he ever planned on tell her his feelings but he did see what could happen between them in the back of his mind.
In his mind they existed in a soft sort of quiet. One where once all their barriers fell down things were raw and vulnerable, there was no teasing, just them. No expectations, no having to hide anything from each other. They'd had a moment like this on the plane, when she looked at him and he looked at her and just for a second there seem to be this understanding of something scared between the two of them.
Then the bubble burst.
He had told her that he thought she could use a friend, and then told her that he loves her?
How dumb was he?
They'd know each other, like, not even six months at that point. He'd never shown any interest in her before that. In fact she probably thought that he hated her. That he only tolerated him because Dae and Q liked her so much. That was true for a little while. Things really shifted for him after his big party at the Rubik. When he saw Kitty leaning into Dae to something and sound became muffled, the task at hand was forgotten. He only saw her. That was the moment he really realized, his feelings for her. Because the way she was leaning into Dae? Like she had a secret to share and that only he was worthy of hearing. He wanted that, he wanted her to lean into him like that, he wanted to hear all her secrets and all of her stories. He wanted to hear how she saw the world. How she managed to be so cheerful when life could make you so miserable. That was the moment he realized that he wanted something real.
Now here he was. Having her in his life, close to him, there was nothing he could do about the fact that she felt nothing for him.
But he would rather have her in his life, unrequited feelings and all. Than not have her at all. In a way he hated how worth it she was to him. It was unfair to be honest. Being her friend was worth everything. No matter how much he had to hear from Q about 'being open about his feelings'. Q did not get this.
So, he continued to wait for Kitty, thankful that she was showing up.
When Kitty finally arrived she was sweaty. Like she had just run a marathon.
Now she was doubled over. Catching her breath.
"Did you run here?" He asked
She leaned into him slightly to get her balance back, his forearm supporting her, "Yes, I did."
"Why?"
"Eunji is literally having a baby and we are currently the only ones here and from what I can tell you were about to faint if you stayed in that room any longer."
"Well can you blame me?"
"I guess not. " Kitty got her balance back and was breathing normal now.
She linked her arm with his as he guided her towards Eunji's room. She must have still been getting her balance back. That's fine, he doesn't mind it. When they got to the maternity ward Min Ho lowered his eyes to his feet, not wanting to accidently see something that he very much did not want to see. Kitty looked at him, with his head down, like his feet were the most interesting thing in existence and she laughed. He loved that sound. It was musical in a sense. Covey had an angelic voice. He may have acted like it was annoying but it was soothing. It scratched his brain.
When Eunji saw Kitty she let out something between a sob and a gasp of relief currently Eunji was on her feet, walking around. She hugged Kitty tightly and he knew that was his cue to leave. He looked at Kitty one more time, and she smiled at him.
Kitty:
Eunji had a death grip on Kitty's hand.
She was pretty sure that her bones were going to break because of how tight Eunji was holding it.
According to Eunji the doctors had told her that labor had slowed down, for now at least. Meaning that she was in pain. She also didn't want an epidural. Which was, fine. But Kitty needed to find out how to calm her down, at least a little bit. Then one of the nurses told Eunji to rest, that she had a ways to go and needed to lie down.
As Kitty helped Eunji into the hospital bed she decided to ask, "So did you ever find out what you're having? I know you were on the fence about it."
"I decided not to."
"Oh? Why?"
Eunji takes a minute to think about it, then says to Kitty, "I guess so much of the excitement was taken out the marriage and the pregnancy, by you know the whole, it happened on accident sort of thing. I just wanted something of it to be a surprise. Just a little bit of suspense to look forward to out of all of the seriousness of the whole thing."
It's silent for a little while. Eunji tries to relax, despite the pain. So Kitty decides to ask another question, "Did you finish the nursery?"
Eunji's face lights up at that. She goes into detail about how she decorated the nursery. She painted it yellow and placed the crib on in the corner and hung one of those things that spin around and have animals on them or something. Kitty wasn't quite sure what they were for. Eunji tells her more about the baby clothes and how crazy she went during nesting. Kitty listens, not knowing half of what Eunji is talking about. She doesn't have any real experience with babies. She's held a few. But only for short periods of time and not in any recent years. However she had been around children when she lived in Portland. She had a regular babysitting job for one of her neighbors, they had two boys, one who had just turned 3 and another who was 8 and thought he was too old for a babysitter. But let's be real, eight-years-old is the exact age for a child to be babysat. She worked for them for two years, right up until she moved to Korea. She did watch for a few other families on the weekends or on breaks. So she wasn't completely unknowledgeable here.
Eunji said she could feel her labor progressing, so she was doing some sort of breathing technique, which seemed to help? Kitty was way out of her depth here. But still Eunji was holding onto Kitty's had like it was some sort of lifeline. It probably was at this moment.
Then Eunji said, "So tell me how things-ow ow ow," she grunted in pain "Are going with Min Ho?"
"What do you mean?"
"Oh please Kitty, he is clearly head over heals for you. You two always seem to be around one another, it's just beyond obvious at this point."
"Well I'm trying to work on it. But the fact that he doesn't notice that I have feelings for him makes it very hard."
"So what you're saying is that he is convinced that you don't have any sort of feelings for him and that you only want to be friends?"
"Yep. But I can say that I have a plan to fix that."
She told Eunji all about her plan to 'subconsciously seduce' Min Ho. But it seems like that plan isn't gonna work out. So she just wants to tell him outright. Her concern with that plan is that it will be too raw, too broken off and impulsive to actually work in her favor. She feels the need to play with his subconscious, some deep part of him that was holding onto the fact that he was convinced that Kitty couldn't feel that way for him.
"I mean that makes sense. I agree that the study date thing just doesn't seem to be working here." Eunji tells her, but then her face brightens, and she grabs Kitty's hand looking her deeply in the eyes "So just be close to him."
"What?"
"I mean, just be close. No expectations, no need for anything big or complicated. Just be vulnerable with him. Then when the time is right, you tell him how you feel. However you feel, because if you keep trying to do it on this or that day it will only end up being messy."
That made Kitty really think. During the tour this summer she had been so paralyzed by her feelings that getting them out into the air was hopeless. She wanted to give Min Ho space. It didn't help that he literally told her that he wanted to go back to being a playboy last summer. Which teared her resolve to tell him about her feelings. What she realized was that not telling Min Ho right away meant that gave her time for her feelings to simmer and really form. Not that they hadn't the semester before, but on tour it was different. It was being close to him without that expectation of more. But Kitty was ready to talk to him. Whether he'd accept it or not was his choice. Either way she'd be okay.
An hour passed, Eunji rested on the hospital bed, trying to sleep, to no avail.
She texted Min Ho:
Any updates on your brother?
A moment later he answered:
Min Ho: yeah, my dad found him. but they are stuck in traffic for at least another hour.
Me: You've got to be kidding me.
Min Ho: how far has she got?
Me: At least two or three more hours. She's in a lot of pain and keeps asking about Joon Ho.
Min Ho: Well make sure you update her. I'll tell you more the second that I hear anything.
Me: Okay, thanks.
Eunji stirs beside Kitty. "Was that Min Ho?"
Kitty nods, "Joon Ho and Mr. Moon are on their way, but the traffic is bad and it's going to be a while."
That makes Eunji start crying again. Kitty reaches around for a tissue, handing it to the woman. She wishes it wasn't like this.
Eunji is able to get some rest, thank goodness, it's a long time until she
Kitty is trying to stay awake in the chair next to Eunji when the door opens. Joon Ho. Thank goodness.
It's late. The kind of late where night and morning are indistinguishable and she blinks blearily. She manages to make her way to the hallway. Where Min Ho is standing against the wall, with his arms crossed.
Once he notices she is there he gives her a smile. Like she had just fought some sort of battle and won.
Min Ho took Kitty back to her dorm, watching her carefully.
It was one of those looks that made Kitty suspect Min Ho's feelings for her. If he still had them. Which she was betting on him still having.
His gaze was unguarded and soft. It was gentle in a way Kitty could hardly explain.
The two were walking close now, shoulders brushing. It was so tempting to just tell him. She'd decided to take Eunji's advice. Be close. Being close to Min Ho was easy. Every part of her felt like liquid when he looked at her like that, she was so tired that the words could fall out of her at any point. It felt so easy like this. Just telling him. Even now, Kitty still needed to be brave, there was never going to be a right time to tell him. It was now or never.
When they get to her door she turns to him,
"Do you want to come in for a few minutes? It's been a long night and I don't feel like being alone right now."
She doesn't feel like being alone. She is soft and tired and lacking the consciousness that she would if she had proper sleep. She doesn't want her eventful night to end just yet. She wants to relax and she wants to end the night with Min Ho. She wants his warm body next to her as she falls asleep. She just wants him close. But the only way she will get that is if she tells him.
She looks up at him to see him nodding.
Min Ho:
He doesn't expect this. He doesn't know why she wants him with her alone, this late into the night. But if Kitty wants him around, he'll be there. She was with Eunji all that time, she's tired and probably just wants somebody around, she doesn't have any room mates anymore, so she invites him in.
She tells him that she's going to go change, he nods and waits in her kitchenette. Min Ho hasn't been in her dorm this year, this is his first time seeing it. She has a small counter where she can sit down and eat. He's glad that she is avoiding the room mate drama for this year. All the stuff that happened with Yuri and Juliana and Stella has done a number that their social circle is still recovering from. But a part of him wonders how she is handling this whole living alone thing. Min Ho can't quite imagine it. He's been living with Q and Dae since their freshman years, they're his family. So in a way he admires Kitty for going out on her own. He wonders if she feels lonely here, if the silence is drowning, if cooking for her and herself alone is exhausting. But he won't ask her that because it hasn't even been a full two weeks into the new semester yet.
"What are you so deep in thought about?"
He turned to see Kitty in a hoodie and pajama shorts. She looked exhausted. But now she was staring at him, it's not that she never stared at him, it's that she never stared at him the way she is now. There is some sort of honesty about them, it makes Min Ho stomach flip and tighten in a way that it only does when he's nervous. He finds it unnerving if he's being honest.
She steps closer to him.
Her arms envelope him.
She stares at him.
There's something in her eyes that makes his heart slow. He wraps his arms around her shoulders, pulling her closer. He'd dreamed of this, so many times, her close to him. Them sharing the same air and not pulling away from each other. Then she put her forehead in the crook of his neck, Min Ho loses the ability to breathe, but instead of running from her like he has before he lets out a shaky breath and runs his one hand along her shoulder blades, memorizing how she feels, before she inevitably pulls away.
But she doesn't pull away. Not after two minutes, not after five, not after fifteen. She grabs his hands, leading him to the couch. She pulls up her laptop, when he asks her why she isn't going to bed she tells him that she wants to wait until Eunji is done with her labor and the baby is here. They stay close, both of them leaning into each other, Kitty's head on Min Ho's shoulder they watch some sort of historical film with soft lifting and a romance that people will analyze to no end online.
It's another two hours until Min Ho gets a call from Joon Ho.
He answers immediately, putting the phone on speaker for Kitty to hear.
"Is Kitty there with you?" Joon Ho asks, he sounds exasperated, but... happy. It brought some relief to Min Ho, the delivery must have gone well.
Kitty answered quickly, "Yes I'm here. How's Eunji?"
"She's great. Hurting a bit and very tired, but she's relieved it's over."
Min Ho asked the next question, "The baby?"
Joon Ho laughed, it was breathless and full of joy, "I have a son."
Kitty squealed, jumping up on her knees.
"How is he?" Min Ho asks
"He's healthy and perfect and he looks just like me."
Of course he did. Baby's usually looked like their fathers from what Min Ho heard.
Then Kitty chimed in again, "Does he have a name?"
"Yes, but I'll tell you two when you come to see him."
"Okay. We're so excited to meet him."
"I'm gonna go, Eunji is calling for me."
"Congrats again man."
"Thanks Min Ho."
Joon Ho ends the call.
Him and Kitty sit in silence for a minute. Then they look at each other, they are smiling, her's is wide full of joy. Then he pulls her in.