Chapter Text
Breathe in, breathe out, in, out, in...
The calm sea waves crashing on the bed of sand just below. He quite enjoyed the salty breeze in his morning jogs to the pier that he takes on occasion, it was the cool feeling on skin what he enjoyed.
Tonight felt frigid, cold, and an utter numbing tone settled for this special night.
He enjoyed this breeze as well. Set the tone of his final grand performance perfectly. He hasn't truly thought this would be his last stage, but all must come to an end as he always thought.
He must admit this stage is rather creaky, the worn down wood planks that grazed the path of the shops that lined his most cherished pier were as well grazed with deteriorating lines of dead wood.
"It's about time they do renovations"
Maybe they'll add a proper stage along side it.
He rustles around his pockets for a few moments, feeling the warmth that begins to envelope his hands as it moves for the plastic bags he brought out all the way here.
It's been a collective few months since he started to plan this finale. The bags full of prescribed sleeping pills that hasn't worked for quite sometime now. It never quite worked to begin with. The magnesium he took were plenty more effective than what ever concoction is inside those digestible capsules. Maybe if he held out for longer he could've reached to the point where he'll have the ingredients ingrained and seared into his mind, but that seems too feeble now standing on the last solid surface he will ever get to stand.
He tears open the plastic bag with too much force which causes a few pills to drop to the ground. Thankfully he's calculated enough pills to do the job with extra to spare in case for any of mishaps that could happen before this moment. He's probably done too much for this to be quite honest. If he was interested about when he started planning this sort of act he would probably be falsely accused of doing so much more than he actually did. It's not like the distancing and cut-offs were ever on purpose. But he couldn't face it quite truthfully if he was accused of it.
He takes a seat on the edge of the pier, perhaps trying to get in one once of relaxation in his bones before he starts the process. He takes out a water bottle and places it on his side from the small body bag he took. Along side it he took out his phone and held it tightly in his hands.
He's staring at his screen, messages all empty and seen by him alone contemplating whether to send his final message to a few special individuals. It's quite selfish of him to do so. He hasn't done a dramatic fall out with any of them. But he hasn't said a thing either, missing on what would be a year all the way to years now.
As a kid he initially thought to give them their own special message, but now that seems too out dated.
The stillness that comes with the lack of warmth is getting to him. He's shivering again by the time his fingers start to move.
"Goodbye, Thank you for everything! 💜"
These shall be the final words he will say to addressed to another person. I'm sure it's all the sympathy and grief he can afford with his absence anyways. With that send button he puts the phone into his pocket.
A quick moment to breathe in the air before he starts moving on.
A quick grab of the water bottle he laid down on the floor along side the sleeping pills he lays on his lap. He takes a handful of the pills and consumes it taking swigs of water along side each batch that enters his mouth.
He's always never liked the uncomfortable feeling of choking or the lingering tolerable pain that an occasional cramp gives. It's like on extra feeling to hide as it was always never a cause for concern. Maybe that's why he chose this as a means to an end. He doesn't need to be attention seeking for this last time.
The plastic is empty, finished to the last bit.
He stands up staring at the distant sea, bracing himself for the side effects soon to follow.
. .
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The chill of the wind starts to drowse him to neverending slumber. Now or never by this point. He wastes no time and strides off the buoyant platform.
It's a shock at first, with the rapid change of temperature from cold to deathly feezing. The midnight cold threatens him hypothermia if he stays there for any longer, anytime now frostbite will start to set in the least dense parts of his body. But I suppose this is what he wants.
He struggles against his body fighting to get out of the water. All his instincts blaring him to fight to the surface and escape the constricting freeze cold water. Anytime now a second constricting feeling to start. The shock of the water temporarily prevents the drowsy feeling the pills were supposed to induce. So in its absence the cramping of muscles as it combats the never ending doses of chemicals in his body.
The temp starts to middle out, temperatures reaching equilibrium within him—unfortunately it is still unbearably cold— allowing space for relaxation.
For the past moment he's floated on the surface. Now exhaling to release some excess air. "It wouldn't be fair" to nature, and to everyone if he selfishly kept all the air to be used when his body decomposes after years, when he can easily release it now in the moment.
"Yahhhwnn– Urk—" The yawn then the first cramp. It's unbearable to say the least. He can hope the sleeping pills start to work an end this suffering.
...
The tension gets worse, now he can bearly feel his limbs. His eyes are growing weary by each given moment.
...
Loss of movement to the limbs have started. And now the struggle of his body against the currents has started. The brain gave up trying to save itself long ago, now this is all instinct.
Instinct that will lead to it downfall much faster, as it begins to sink.
...
The waters are ravenous at midnight, under the moon at its strongest. Liquid starts to envelope the lining of his lungs, it has been getting into the stomach for a while now.
...
The sleeping pills have kicked in and thus the overdose too. His body sinks even lower as water replaces the air that allows life. Curling into each other, then out of each other flowing in the decent to the sea floor.
It's quiet now...
No more pain...
No more regrets...
It's beautiful.....
. .
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