Chapter Text
I love you.
Blackstar didn’t dare say it there in the moment, but with the way Firestar leaned in on the colorpoint tom, how his nose seemed to only breathe where the soft low wind would deliver the ShadowClan leader’s scent up to his nose, how calm and safe he’d felt as Blackstar held the moss up to his wounds until they had stopped bleeding, Blackstar felt a surge of relief inside of him. He loves me too.
As much as everything else tried to come to his mind in the moment, of how much he didn’t deserve to be loved by the other leader, of how terrible this would be for both of their leaderships, of how maybe Blackstar had somehow trapped Firestar into feeling this way, it just wasn’t strong enough to surmount the all-encompassing love and adoration in his chest. He cared for Firestar more than any cat ever cared for Blackstar before, and more than he had ever cared for anyone else. I love you.
The three words came to his mind so naturally, without hesitation and without any follow up ‘what if’s’. He was here in the moment, caring for the tom who saved him even when he himself didn’t know he needed help. Blackstar pulled away slightly, taking a closer look at the wounds and by extension the sheer beauty of Firestar’s fur as it caught the tiny drops of sunlight the morning brought.
“Is everything alright?” Firestar asked, turning his neck around to look, but ultimately locking his gaze with Blackstar for assurance.
“It looks the best it can with just moss. The bleeding stopped.” Blackstar told Firestar, shyly stuttering a little as he continued. “We just need to clean the wounds a little now...”
“And how do you suggest we do that?” Firestar smirked. It sent Blackstar further into a flustered state. “It’s not like we have Littlecloud’s herbs and poultices here with us.”
“You’re old enough to know to lick them.” Blackstar turned away, already picking up on what Firestar had asked for.
“Oh, but I’m soooo weak and injured, I can’t possibly lick them clean as well as a healthier cat would...” Firestar playfully stretched his paws, turning to his side and exposing his belly to Blackstar.
“Certainly not sick enough to stretch like you just did...” Blackstar grunted, his weak wall of composure falling down just then as he gave in, swiftly cleaning the wounds on Firestar’s side and neck to get it over with soon. “There, we should be able to head out and find a patrol now.”
Firestar stretched his paws out a little more before standing up. He shook the blades of grass from his pelt and dashed a quick lick to his other side to get the blades out. All that performance just to give me a heart attack... Blackstar smiled a little, but worry stirred in small amounts inside him. Just moments ago, Firestar had been brutally attacked after trying to run away from ShadowClan, for reasons Blackstar had still not tried to get out of him. He’s playful because he’s hiding how horrible he’s feeling from me. I can feel it, he does it too often. Blackstar stood up beside him, watching as the ginger tom confidently took a step forward, already familiar with the territory in ShadowClan.
Blackstar walked closely behind him, his eye fixed on the ginger tom in front of him. What is he hiding? Is now a good time to ask? He didn’t want to rush the other leader, certainly if he wasn’t ready to answer yet, but Blackstar’s worry only continued to grow the longer they walked, until it had muffled the rest of his senses.
“Firestar—”
“There you are.” The raspy voice interrupted Blackstar, and a tabby figure seemed to appear out of thin air in front of them. Blackstar growled as he recognized the WindClan leader, instinctively dashing in front of the smaller tom to create a barrier.
“Onestar, what are you doing here?” Blackstar asked, keeping his voice stern enough to not reveal his anger, but bold enough to show Onestar he had no interest in being friendly.
“I should’ve been there to ask you that last night.” Onestar retorted. “What reason did either of you have to invade my territory and injure one of my warriors?”
“Breezepelt put himself in harm’s way. He shouldn’t have attacked a leader.” Blackstar hissed back.
“He couldn’t have.” The WindClan leader snobbishly corrected him. “I know the cat. He’s truly stupid, but not dumb enough to get in trouble this big.” Onestar scoffed, only drawing the ire of Blackstar. “We need to talk, because I do not take lightly to lying, nor to threats of war.”
“War?!” Firestar scoffed, sliding up from behind Blackstar. “When did we ever imply such a thing? ThunderClan is weak now without me, and Blackstar—”
“Then why don’t you go back home, where you belong?” Onestar hissed. “If your Clan is so weak, why are you over here taking vacation across the Lake? Chatting it up with the most war-minded leader in the Clans? Please, Firestar, you can’t possibly think RiverClan and WindClan buy this.”
“Buy what? That I’m injured?” Firestar snapped. “Take a look at my leg! At the gash on my side that your ‘stupid but not dumb enough for trouble this big’ warrior gave me! My time here has been nothing but recovery, I haven’t even had time to think of any Clan outside of ShadowClan and ThunderClan.”
“Save your spit for later, Firestar.” Onestar growled. “We’ll get to the bottom of this back in WindClan’s camp.”
“WindClan?” Blackstar hissed. “You’re not making any sense.”
“Either you both come with me to WindClan right now, or I’ll send my warriors to decimate ShadowClan or ThunderClan, whichever one of you cooperates the least.” Onestar commanded. Blackstar’s fur bristled, ready to pounce on the taller tom, but Firestar put himself between the two, his eyes wide with concern.
“Fine, we’ll go. Just don’t hurt my warriors.”
“Firestar, we have to see Littlecloud now!” Blackstar begged. “Please, Onestar, at least let him get his wounds treated, then we can leave.”
Onestar eyed the two of them back and forth. Blackstar could see the thoughts forming behind his yellow eyes. The ShadowClan leader dug his claws anxiously into the ground, waiting for the answer as the silence only stretched the tension in the air.
“Fine. Go see Littlecloud.” Onestar reluctantly agreed. “But I’ll go with you, and you won’t run away from me once you’re treated.”
“Thank you.” Firestar sighed. Blackstar almost spoke out against the gesture, wanting to call out Onestar for his entitlement, but Firestar shot him a stern glare that dissuaded him from stirring up more trouble. “The camp isn’t too far, I can already hear the warriors. We should be on our way to WindClan in no time.”
—
As soon as they stepped into the clearing, Blackstar heard all of his Clan gasp and murmur between themselves as Onestar slipped in from the entrance, following closely behind them. Blackstar locked eyes with Russetfur, whose stare of immense confusion and hostility jumped between each leader. Firestar refused to lift his head, making a bee-line to the medicine den, clearly too ashamed of himself to look ShadowClan in the eyes.
Had I not attacked Breezepelt as violently as I did, none of this would have happened. He’d be home by now... Blackstar shut the thought out. Not only was there was no time to dwell on it, they would've had to go to WindClan soon anyways to deal with the dog attack. He forced himself to look stronger as he stepped into the den. Littlecloud’s eyes widened with shock as he saw Blackstar and Firestar walk in with Onestar standing guard of the entrance.
“Onestar.” Littlecloud sheepishly bowed his head in respect. “What brings you here?”
Onestar snorted, refusing to answer the medicine cat. “You’ll know soon.”
“Littlecloud, I need you to check my wounds.” Firestar turned Littlecloud. “They’re too deep to walk off, and I just need a poultice to hold them up till... We get to WindClan.”
“WindClan?” Littlecloud curled his snout in confusion. “What do you mean until you get to WindClan? What’s going on?” He turned his gaze to Onestar, redirecting his questions to the other leader. “Can you tell me why?”
“Firestar and Blackstar intruded in my territory, and nearly killed one of my warriors, who told me everything by sunrise. I decided all the Clans had enough of whatever it is these two have going on.” Onestar spat, and it took all of Blackstar’s strength to not snap at him, to correct him. It would be useless, he’s already convinced of this. He’s just looking for excuses to intimidate ShadowClan and ThunderClan.
Littlecloud immediately turned to Blackstar, his eyes wide and begging for an answer that would prove his leader was innocent, but Blackstar swallowed thickly. No matter the reason why, I still injured Breezepelt. I didn’t even stop to think about it, like Firestar had told me to. He lowered his head in disappointment, feeling his fur prickle under the disappointment and judgment coming from his loyal medicine cat.
“Firestar, what do you have to do with this?” Littlecloud asked, clearly doubting that the ginger leader would participate in any unnecessary violence.
Firestar glared to Onestar, who now towered over him expectantly, far from the entrance and crowding up the medicine den, suffocating what little air flowed inside it. Firestar sighed, breaking under the pressure. “It’s not important for you to know, we’ll figure it out with Onestar when we’re in WindClan.”
Littlecloud let out a sigh, his eyes furrowing. “...Fine. I’ll go fetch you the herbs. It shouldn’t take long.”
Onestar hummed in amusement, leaving the den to speak with a furious Russetfur. Firestar let out a breath, and Blackstar turned to him at the same time in relief. Firestar looked to him with a heavy look. “At least he’s not breathing down my neck anymore...”
“Quiet.” Blackstar whispered sharply. “He’s busy with Russetfur, but he can still hear us if we speak normally.”
“Sorry.” Firestar breathed. “But what is there for us to even talk about? We’re screwed Blackstar, there’s nothing we can do.”
“That’s not true, Firestar.” Blackstar pressed his paw against Firestar’s, who happily shivered a little at the touch.
“Then what do you even suggest we do?” Firestar begged, his ears angling back in distress. “We have to go to WindClan, if we don’t, Onestar will attack us!”
“You’re right, we don’t have a choice there.” Blackstar held himself back from drawing closer to the other tom, careful not to make Onestar suspicious if he glanced back. “But Onestar is at least giving us a chance for a trial, he’s giving us a chance to prove ourselves. If we pick the right words, we can get out of this situation.”
Firestar remained quiet, his eyes searching the ground like he always did when he got lost in thought. Blackstar’s chest tightened, growing anxious with Firestar as he wondered what exactly was troubling the ThunderClan leader.
Littlecloud came back from his shelf of herbs, carrying some roots and leaves that Blackstar was too distracted over Firestar to really notice what they were. Littlecloud began to chew them together into a poultice, and smeared a sizable amount of it on his paw, silently dabbing it against Firestar’s wounds and spreading it across the larger one on his side. He licked his paws clean from the rest, and turned back again to the shelf to retrieve what Blackstar assumed was travelling herbs for the both of them.
“I don’t even know what ThunderClan is like right now.” Firestar breathed out, and Blackstar heard how his throat tightened around the words. “Leafpool, Squirrelflight, Sandstorm, Graystripe, Brambleclaw... They’re probably so worried about me, and I don’t know if Brackenfur is handling the Clan well...”
Blackstar opened his mouth to comfort him, but Littlecloud dropped the travelling herbs in front of them, pushing them forwards with his snout. “Eat. I don’t think Onestar wants you hunting on his territory either...”
“Thank you, Littlecloud.” Firestar nodded, lowering his head and lapping up the bitter seeds. Blackstar reluctantly did the same, already hearing Onestar walk up to the entrance.
“Are they ready to leave?” Onestar asked curtly.
“Yes.” Littlecloud responded with the same tone. “Take them and set this mess straight.”
Firestar was first to stand up and head out, refusing to look any cat in the eye. Blackstar followed afterwards, staying closely behind him as Onestar dragged them out of camp.
I want to help you, Firestar, why do you keep making it so confusing? Blackstar felt his chest grow heavier with each pawstep. Tell me what’s wrong, and make up your mind: Do you want to go back to ThunderClan, or do you want to stay longer with me?
—
By the time they reached the moor, the sun had already reached a halfway point in the sky, burning down on their backs and radiating warmth through their entire bodies. They looked down the slope that fell into WindClan’s camp, their fur graced with a breeze as cold as the pit in Blackstar’s stomach as he noticed the warriors staring up at them. He turned to Firestar who stood beside him, giving him a reassuring smile.
“We’ll fix this, don’t worry about it.”
“If StarClan wishes it.” Firestar cynically responded, but his gaze softened a little as he looked deeper into Blackstar’s eyes. “And I’m sure they’ll be with you.”
Onestar hurried them into the tunnel that entered WindClan’s camp, and the two toms braced themselves as they stepped in. Blackstar took in a deep breath, channeling his intimidating presence as leader, the image that had kept him respected and powerful among the Clans even in the moments where he’d made each horrible mistake in his past. I am Blackstar, Leader of ShadowClan, and no cat stands in my way.
They now faced the clearing, each cat quickly scurrying into a crowd as they all curiously catched a sight of the two leaders, some full of hate, some with caution, others with judgment, and most with a neutral curiosity. Blackstar felt Firestar’s tail briefly brush him and turned his head to face him. The ginger tom gave him a smile.
I am Blackstar, and he is Firestar.
Together, we are the strongest leaders this forest has ever seen.