Chapter Text
Dialing Chloe <3!!
Call Connected
"Yes, hello, this is the tits or gtfo hotline?"
"Wow, really? It's not like you haven't seen my boobs in your fevered night dreams."
"And I don't believe in technicalities!"
"Ugh, whatever, you. Have you given thought to what I said? And all that?"
"God fucking damnit, Rachel. You never let me forget about anything. Yes, I've 'given thought to it', or whatever. Why do you always talk like an old lady?"
"And what do you think?"
"Indulge me when I'm trying to argue with you for once, oh my god. And, um. I think. Yes? Maybe? I don't know how that'll work? I don't want that to mess things up when they have the potential to be good."
"I know what you mean. I still think it's a good idea, though."
"Of course you do, you thought of it."
"Exactly. Have a fucking sip, babe."
"That's my thing and you should never do it again."
cutie with the freckles <3
cutie with the freckles <3
Rachel Amber!!!
We're about to fight!!!!!!!!!!!
How dare you!!!
Me
Guessing you found my care package. :)
cutie with the freckles <3
I did and I loved it lol.
But I told you I won't be one-upped!
If you keep doing this I'm totally going to send you emails that are PAGES long
Just full of pickup lines.
And I will watch you read to make sure you crack a smile!!!!
Me
Did you smile, Max?
I thought of them myself.
My favorite one is the one about your freckles.
cutie with the freckles <3
Rachel, all of them mentioned my freckles
Me
Your freckles are really cute, Max.
cutie with the freckles <3
Stoooooooooooooooop!
Out of this house!!
We!! Will!! Fight!!
We will!! Trade!! Blows!!
Me
LMFAO I'M LAUGH????
You're so smol, how will we fight?? You barely come up to my shoulder??
Chloe's rubbing off on you. The Max I met a while ago would never threaten violence!
I miss that lovely gentlewoman, she knew how to treat a lady right. )':
cutie with the freckles <3
Stop exaggerating our height difference!! I'm not that much shorter than you. You have like 3 inches on me. 2.5 TOPS.
And that's my little face too,,
It's because you guys keep teasing me. I have the fighting spirit!!
I have not been defeated! Prepare for my next round of pickup lines and punnery!
Me
WHATEVER, QUEEN GOOBER.
I have a question for you, while you're still throwing those fighting words my way.
How would you feel about going away to Oregan for a bit? That break is coming up soon, and I really really don't want to stay with my parents.
It'll be Awk.
It would be cool to get you and Chloe out of this city, too. We can drive my car, since Chloe's truck is absolute trash.
cutie with the freckles <3
Don't think I'm going to forget!! You owe me a fist fight )':
But!! To answer your question!! I would love that. I should ask my parents. When is the break again?
And are you gonna try and spend money on me?
Me
1.) You're eighteen and you don't need to ask your parents anything lmfao???
2.) The break begins in the last few weeks of next month!!
3.) I will not try. I will Absolutely spend money on you and you're going to let me because that's what friends do.
cutie with the freckles <3
Ahhh well I'm going to ask my parents!
For money! Yeah!
So you won't be spending anything on me
AND don't think I didn't notice your change of subject!
Me
Catch you in class Babe :-* :-* :-*
Joyce
Me
HI JOYCE!!!
I'm so sorry I didn't reply to your message!! I just saw it!!
What's up?? What can I do for you??
Joyce
Hey Max. It's nothing bad I'm sure.
That silly girl of mine called me up and was saying she didn't want to come home for the break.
I was wondering if you knew if she was going to be getting into anything stupid because she definitely wouldn't tell me if she was.
Me
Oh no!! She hasn't told you????
It's not really my place to say! It's not bad I promise!! But you know Chloe. She'd get super mad at me if I told you.
But I promise I I'll keep an eye on her! I'll be there with her the whole time! Rachel will be there too if that makes you feel any better.
Joyce
It doesn't. That girl can be just as silly as Chloe at times.
I trust you, Max. You're all teenaged adults in the end but you at least give it a moment of thought before you do something dumb
Me
Ouch Joyce
You always did tell it like it is
I promise it's nothing bad! I'll tell Chloe to fill you in soon.
Elastigirl
Elastigirl
How ya holding up Chloe?
Do you need anything
Me
hey mom not much i just wanted to tell you something
sorry I called you while you were at work, i knew you would be, i was just hoping you were on break
If you don't have much time that's okay
Elastigirl
No it's ok you silly girl.
What's eating you?
Me
do you want me to cook for you next time i come visit
Elastigirl
I want lasagna and garlic bread :0)
Me
yea sure easy peasy
anyways max was ragging on me to call you but since i can't and this is easier anyway
me rachel and max are going out of town for the break
we're going to portland
just to chill out. you know. stuff
Elastigirl
Ok? You're an adult Chloe. You could have just told me that when you called last time.
I hope you'll be safe but it's not like I could tell you no. You're not under my roof anymore.
You silly girl.
Unless there's something you want to tell me?
Me
NO lol that can uh
that can wait
LMFAO
we'll be okay mom. rachel's gonna wear her "are you nasty" booty shorts and engage in debauchery
but im Saved ok.
why would i need to touch other people when i am touched by the Lord amen.
Elastigirl
Don't push it Chloe. :/
Me
love you bye
Kate From Photography
Kate From Photography
Hi Max!
Are you free right now?
Me
Hi Kate! Daily reminder that everything I did today I did it for you!! :)
Kate From Photography
You guys are so silly, I swear. I'm changing that chat name next time we're in there. Every single one of you are sending me that! Lol
Me
We just want you to know that you're Loved and Appreciated
Kate From Photography
I swear you become more like Chloe and Rachel the longer you spend time with them
You text like them
You wear the little trinkets and things
It won't be long before you're all shouting in the halls!
Me
OMFG am I that obviously a follower,,,
Kate From Photography
What? No! Lol you misunderstood.
I think it's really cute. You're really breaking out of your shell. I wish I could do the same!
You wanna go get lunch today? :)
Me
Of course! And you HAVE to tell me more about my little "transformation"! I honestly hadn't noticed! ///////
Dialing Max
Call Connected
"Yello?"
"What's up, super star?"
"Hey, Chloe! Uh, give me a moment, there was this--"
"You're taking a photo?"
"How'd you know?"
"You're mad predictable, dude."
"Hush. Just have to do...awesome. Yes! It looks so good! You wanna see it later?"
"Of course, Max. I love seeing your stuff."
"Thanks! So what's up? Do you need anything?"
"Um, wow. I just wanted to talk to my best friend, excuse the heck out of you. That makes it sound like I only call you when I need something."
"Well..."
"Shut."
"Only you say memes out loud, Chloe."
"That's because they're, like, a thousand times better when they're coming from these lips, Caulfield."
"Whatever, you dork."
"You're a dork."
"I know you are, but what am I?"
"Oh my god, stop talking."
"Never! Haha."
"Ugh, you're--ugh. Anyways. Just wanted to check in on you. See how you're doing. All that kind of stuff."
"You could have done that face-to-face."
"You mean to tell me you don't like the surprise of a phone call every now and then?"
"If it's from you, I guess. The only people who really call me are mom, dad, and grandpa. Kristen and Fernando send me funny pictures through chat. And every single one of them tell me not to die in so many words."
"Well, I'm glad. But, uh. They're not wrong for that. You're really clumsy. And you're forgetful. And you're--"
"Ouch, okay, Chloe, you don't have to drag me like that."
"Yikes, you've been around Rachel too long."
"I'd say you have! You two are both awful influences, but when you're together, you're, like, super loud. Well, you were, at least."
"What's that mean, you brat?"
"You guys have been weird since, um,"
"Since, yeah. The thing."
"Yeah. Thing. Heh."
"Always things."
"Are you guys okay?"
"Oh my god, Max. Please, let's not. I called to check up on you. Don't make me find you and give you a noogie."
"You mean, 'Don't make me find you and give you a loving embrace because I love you, Maxine.'"
"Eh, technicalities."
"Can you believe a few people have come up to me and asked if we were dating?"
"What, seriously?"
"Yeah. Most of them, I don't really know. That's kind of a bad thing! I've been here for months, I should at least know our age group by now..."
"Did anybody you know ask you that?"
"No. Are you okay, Chloe? It's not that serious. Somebody saw the bracelets Rachel made us and must have realized they're a matching set. I said no to the dating."
"Yeah, I'm fine, babe. Haha, yeah. Totally weird, though."
"Is it so weird? You're a catch."
"Har de har. Don't think I haven't picked up on your new Rachel Amber flavored sarcasm, tm."
"Did you just say the little trademark thingy out loud?"
"These hands are rated E for Everyone, Maxine."
"Oh, my god. You're horrible."
"I'm great. By the way, I was able to get through the first few bars of Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds."
"Really? That's great, Chloe! You're making a lot of progress with this whole guitar thing. Who knew? I can't get you to focus on much of anything for a few seconds straight."
"Ouch, Caulfield. Watch your language. I have fragile emotions and you are hurting them."
"I'll hold you, Chole. It's okay. I still love you."
"You had better."
"I love you thiiiiis much!"
"I can't see you, you fool."
"You can see me. In your mind. We're connected. Synergy."
"Jesus shit, Max."
fuckboi
fuckboi
anyway price idek who you think you are
but it's not a person that can spam my inbox
Me
stfu my spam is the best thing to happen to your sad inbox?????
anyways do you know anything about it?
since it's your crew that's always spreading that shit in the first place
fuckboi
no lmfao because we don't care
i think you're creepy????????? nd don't see why rachel's always googly eyes for you
you're like lesbian godzilla
Me
i'll take that as a compliment asshole
if you hear anything about what i said lmk.
or rachel. definitely rachel. she's the only one willing to put up with your assholery
Ensign Chekov
Ensign Chekov
CHLOE, I JUST PRE-ORDERED FFXV.
THIS IS A REALLY EMOTIONAL MOMENT FOR ME.
I REMEMBER BEING EXCITED FOR THIS GAME WHEN I WAS TWELVE.
Me
woah that's great boi!!
ive never really been into that whole thing but am happy for you boi!!
i hope you enjoy ff XXII electric bugaloo with japanese one direction
Ensign Chekov
Thanks. I'm still trying to process it. We've got months before it comes out and I'm just speaking like it's already here.
So anyways, I wanted to ask, what's up with you?
You've been kinda out of it lately.
Me
oh no
no no no no. non. nein. nyet. votch. ne. nej.
Ensign Chekov
What? What's wrong
Me
we are absolutely not going down that lane lmfao
let's return to you gushing to me about video games
like you did last week.
you sent me an entire essay on why final fantasy x is actually a tragedy
Ensign Chekov
Yeah, okay sure, but what lane did we just make a U-turn away from?
AND IT IS! IT'S SHAKESPERIAN!
Me
you see shakespeare, all i see is hilarious camera angles and awkward laughter
here watch this max sent me this it's so funny
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D20mY8JPPyc
Ensign Chekov
If that's one of those laughter music covers I swear I'm not talking to you for a week.
And you didn't answer my question!
Me
ugh i just dont like it when people do that
like try to slide in the whole "oh yeah open with one topic then ask about your feelings"
like wyd
and honestly nothing is WRONG like things might get better im just. thinking. concentrating.
im ok dude
Ensign Chekov
If you say so. Sorry. :/
Me
dont be like that bro
only two people can play the pouting game with me lmfao
better stick to the game talk
ugh
ugh
Hey Victoria!
You go to Portland a lot, right?
You know of a good date spot?
You know what's cool there? What's young and Hip. What's the Four One One?
Me
Okay but why are you trying to act like you haven't been to Portland plenty of times
ugh?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
I would never! :O :O :O :O
Just thought you might have some advice about wining and dining some Fine Ladies
And then proceed to take your own advice.
Because you should.
Really, Victoria.
It's kind of sad.
Me
What's sad is you going this far for attention?
We get it no matter who wins your little weird triangle pissing contest you're getting laid so you're happy
ugh?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
You're wrong but you're also not wrong?
A state of being that only you, Victoria chase, can ever be.
Taylor's really pretty, by the way! :) :) :) :)
Me
I hate you and I wish I never met you omg?!??!?!?!?
Vicky
Vicky
Hey Sweet-T.
Want to hang out this weekend? Whatever you want it's on me
Me
Sure Vic!! What brought this on?! I thought you had plans this weekend girl
Vicky
THAT CAN WAIT LETS HANG OUT
Chloe ヾ(*´∀｀*)ﾉ
Me
Chloe!
I love you!!
Chloe ヾ(*´∀｀*)ﾉ
love you too but what brought this on lol
where are you? didn't see you around today. rachel was asking after you
Me
Just wanted to let you know!
And I took the day off! Just wanted to think about some things. And basically I came to the conclusion that
You and Rachel are really great friends and I love you
Chloe ヾ(*´∀｀*)ﾉ
that's wonderful news, super star
i think?????????????????
im glad you had a rest you've been seeming kind of wrung out lately.
bet you're excited for that trip then, huh?
rachel's gonna take her obnoxious fancy mom van
we'll get a hotel
it'll be great you can sleep in and everything. then we'll see the gardens AND see about getting you high
Me
All of that sounds good except for the getting high part!
Chloe ヾ(*´∀｀*)ﾉ
i bet your munchies are gonna be EPIC
Rachel (*˘︶˘*)
Rachel (*˘︶˘*)
Maxine Caulfield!!!
Where have you been today? >:{
Me
Thinking about you! :)
Rachel (*˘︶˘*)
WHAT
Me
Haha!! Not like that. I took a day off because I wasn't feeling too well.
But the whole time I was just thinking about how much I missed you and Chloe.
And I was like "Huh they're such good friends I love them a lot."
So I love you a lot!
Rachel (*˘︶˘*)
Aw. Thank you, then. Ily2 cutie.
I am quite great.
Well. I'm glad you're feeling better. I hope I see you tomorrow. Giving you a big hug!
Mom
Me
Mom I just told the most epic lies )': )':
Mom
Oh no sweetie!!! Why would you do that?
Are you in trouble?!
Me
I'm not in trouble!!
I did it to try and prove a point to myself
It didn't work
Mom
That's not good!!
You should try and be truthful with yourself and others! It'll probably give you a smaller headache in the long run
Oh my sweet girl. You know you can tell me anything right?
Me
Yeah mom. Love you.
I'll let you know how it goes
Chloe <3!!
Chloe <3!!
hey rachel i just had a thought
and this is totally something i should tell you in person but i thought i would send it in now before i chicken out and not do that?
but i really am sorry about. frank. that whole thing
im still p firm about what i said? that you were being kind of a shit about the whole thing
but so was i. hell i am a shit. i am a big shit at least 90% of the time
Me
Aww babe.
Sorry for the late reply, I just saw this.
Chloe, it's totally okay. The whole thing with Frank was kind of a mistake.
And you know me. I just trying to solve things in my own weird way. Which was bad. Lmfao.
Hey, we're okay right? I things have been weird. And now we're kind of rushing into this next thing.
Chloe <3!!
we're okay! we're more than okay omfg
i cant' stay really mad at you for long
we would be better if you'd stop acting like you were scared to talk to me
Me
Am I that obvious? >:{
Chloe <3!!
no lmao i just know you really well
who knows you better than me rachel? in all seriousness
Me
That's why it's scary, I'm telling you.
You know what, it's good you texted me this lol. I don't think I would have told you that to your face, either.
Chloe <3!!
are you willing to TALK about it now?????
Me
I never thought there'd be a day where you were telling me that I needed to open up, but here we are lmfao.
Chloe <3!!
how the turns have tabled
Me
I love you, you know?
Chloe <3!!
yea i know.
i love you too
Moma
Moma
Rachel, you can't keep avoiding us like this.
Me
Why not? >:{
Moma
I'm being serious, Rachel.
It's not very adult to avoid your problems.
Me
So am I?
I'm serious. I love you, mom, but you can't really tell me what to do.
For the record, me not coming home for the break is the direct result of me deciding not to avoid my problems.
Are you guys gonna cut me off if I don't come home? :/
Moma
No, we're not.
And you thinking that we would is one of the reasons we need to talk, all three of us.
Me
I don't want to come home this break. I'll visit you guys when I get back, how about that?
Moma
I wish you would be a little more respectful. I'm trying to rectify this situation.
Me
We didn't have a situation until you guys made one LOL.
See you later mom.
Nathan
Nathan
sup
hope u know ppl are spreading rumors about you like it's going outta style
Me
I don't care, Nathan. People do it all the time.
Nathan
u might care about this
Me
I don't.
What else is in the news? >:{
Nathan
ur funeral
one of my teachers is convinced im doin cocaine and is trying to reach out to me
girlfriend number two of yours is probably gonna win the photo contest for our photography class
victoria and taylor are dating
like. fucken FINALLY
she was getting on my nerves with that shit
i dont get u guys like half ur problems could be solved if u just kissed
Me
You're right LOL you don't get it.
That's really good, though. I could see the pining from like, a mile away.
Let's hope the both of them will calm the hell down after this.
Nathan
don't count on it
victoria's sent me like fiteen panicked texts in the last week
i think theyll be ok but victoria is full of anger she'll never calm down. it's why she's my best friend
Me
You're right. Your guys' combined saltiness would have the roads covered if it ever snowed.
Nathan
ugh ok
kind of off topic but what are u doing rachel?
u seem dif
like happy. but sad. like
when your w price and the caulfield chick you guys are like loud
REALLY loud
and ur always together
but when i catch u alone it's like ur feeling down again
Me
I'm alright, Nathan.
Well I should say I'll be alright, hopefully. I have a Plan.
Nathan
oh boy
Me
It's an Excellent Plan.
That I haven't planned out completely. But I'll wing like, 50% of it and it should turn out okay.
Nathan
keep me posted
wanna see how bad you fall when you trip up
Me
You're an ass. Has anyone ever told you that?
Nathan
my own sister called me an ass once and she's nice to everyone
might as well get a tramp stamp at this point saying "im an" and have an arrow pointing down
Mom
Me
hey mrs. caulfield this is chloe!
max wanted to let you know we're in portland now
[Attached Image] she's driving
she's so tiny lol she had the move the chair all the way up
Mom
That's great, sweetie! I hope you all have fun and please stay safe!
And tell Max to buy me some souvenirs!
She didn't forget her EpiPen did she? Such a forgetful girl
Me
nope lmao i packed it for her
you remember when we were in sixth grade and we went to the birthday party of some girl
she had a strawberry cake but her mom put actual strawberries in
and max was like oh cool man i love strawberries and ate about three slices
but her face was super red and she was like my throat always hurts when i eat strawberries but i love them
those darn strawberry sweats ahahahah
flkasjdffjgglfsdjk
Mom
The strawberry sweats.
Me
THE FREAKING STRAWBERRY SWEATS IM STILL LAUGHING ABOUT IT
Mom
She had NEVER told me she felt like that!!
Make sure you remember where to put the needle if she wants to enjoy her sweats!!
Me
mrs c. nooooooooooooo ahahahahah
Rachel (*˘︶˘*)
Rachel (*˘︶˘*)
Where are you, Max? We lost you.
Please tell me you're still in the garden?
Me
Yeah Rach I am!! I saw some great photo-ops and I had to take advantage
If you can find me I can take pictures of you too :)
I'm next to the tree
Rachel (*˘︶˘*)
Max, this is the Japanese Garden. It's FULL of trees.
Me
Guess you'll just have to find the right one then. ;)
Rachel (*˘︶˘*)
Okay, I'll play along. >:}
Can I have a hint?
Me
Near seven on your map. Catch me if you can!!
Rachel (*˘︶˘*)
It's ON! >:O >:O >:O
Prepare yourself for hugs!!
Chloe ヾ(*´∀｀*)ﾉ
Chloe ヾ(*´∀｀*)ﾉ
where the fuckening fuck did you goobers go
ive looked all over for you guys???
we gotta go if you guys still wanna eat bc im tired omfg
Me
Where are you? We'll find you!
We've been exploring and taking pictures
I want to get photos of you guys!!
Chloe ヾ(*´∀｀*)ﾉ
giftshop
Me
Elaborate?
There are like eleven gift shops around here
Chloe ヾ(*´∀｀*)ﾉ
shit
Rach
Rach
REALLY SMOOTH, CHLOE
Me
rach are you seriously petty enough to text me while im sitting right across from you
don't kick meeeeee
Rach
I'm not speaking verbally
That way I won't acknowledge the Awful and Bad words that came out of your mouth
Me
you don't wanna speak because you know you'll laugh lmfao i see your face
Rach
CHLOE WE ARE IN A PUBLIC PLACE AND YOU'RE FLIRTING LOUDLY
I KNOW MAX CAN BE DENSE BUT EVEN SHE PICKED UP ON THAT THAT'S WHY SHE ESCAPED
Me
I WAS COMPLIMENTING HER ON THE PHOTOS
THEY WERE VERY NICE
Rach
You were like, making love to your french fries.
You ate the french fries. Seductively.
Me
i did NAUGHT
keep criticizing my methods and im sending you to the PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE and having you EXPELLED
Rach
OMFG. I can't with you. You're a menace.
Me
you're laughing so it's ok
omfg people are looking at us so weirdly lmfao
we better stop before max comes back
Rach
<3 <3 <3 <3
She's probably in there freaking out haHA.
Me
when she gets back it's your turn to seductively eat french fries
Dialing cutie with the freckles <3
Call connected
"Hello? Max? Are you there? Where did you go?"
"I, uh. I don't' know. I kind of freaked. And, uh, ran down the stairs. And stuff. I went out of the hotel, and, uh, walked. It's very pretty out here at night."
"Max, please tell me you're not lost with only your phone in a city you're unfamiliar with?"
"I came here a few times as a kid with my parents..."
"Max! Oh my god. Stay where you are! Do you recognize your--yeah, she's okay, Chloe, gimme a second--"
"I didn't mean to like, make things weird."
"Max, oh my god."
"And like, I was thinking that things were getting kind of, um, romantic? But I'm bad at picking up on things like that."
"So why did you run away, Max?"
"I was overwhelmed. And confused."
"I'm sorry. Ugh, oh my fucking god. We totally could have gone about this in a different way, am I right? Shut up, Chloe, you're not supposed to agree with me."
"Gone about what?"
"We like you. Surprise! Wait, see, that's not a surprise! I told you months ago that Chloe digs you. But the truth is that we jointly dig you."
"See, that's what I thought was happening, but I'm so, so bad at that stuff and when you kissed me and Chloe kissed you, I was like, is that a sign? Is Chloe telling me to back off? What are the consequences? I kissed a girl, but at what cost? Because she looked mad."
"Chloe always looks mad, baby."
"Oh my god, I know. Why are you laughing? This isn't funny. Oh my gosh. I feel really stupid."
"Don't feel stupid. Can you describe your surroundings for me? We know our way around."
"Um."
"Literally anything."
"I'm in front of the statue. The, um. Portlandia? I took a photo."
"That's just like you."
"I know, right?"
"Can you stay there for me?"
"Where else would I go?"
"Well, you did just rush down two flights of stairs and flee from us, so."
"Haha, you said flee."
"Max."
"It's just, I noticed only you use old-timey words like that. It's like, occasional? So most people don't notice, but it's very charming."
"I think you're very charming, you know."
"Well, I know now."
"You're ridiculous."
"I like you a lot."
"I like you, too."
"And I like Chloe, too."
"You should tell her that. She's like five steps ahead of me, so she'll probably reach you first. In hindsight, we probably should have taken the van."
"It's very romantic that you guys are walking around looking for me."
"You're enjoying this."
"Just a little bit."
"There's more where that comes from."
"Don't flirt with me while my life is in danger. You guys need to rescue me. And stuff."
"Hold on, I'm gonna give the phone to Chloe really fast. She's making grabby hands."
"Okay."
"...she okay? Max? Max, oh my god, you little brat. Why are you laughing? You scared us half to death."
"I'm really sorry. Oh my gosh. It's just that this is really stupid. This whole thing. But it's a good stupid."
"You're good stupid."
"Yeah, but you like my good stupid."
"Them's fighting words, Caulfield."
"I like your good stupid, too."
"You literally could have told us that instead of bolting."
"I thought I had the wrong idea!"
"Yeah, well, that's stupid."
"Just come find me already."
"...Turn around, loser."
Vortex Club
BoiHayden: Nathan bro.
BoiPrescott: hayden bro
BoiHayden: bro
BoiPrescott: bro?
BoiHayden: BRO...
SonOfRobert: BRO BRO BRO
BoiHayden: BRO... BRO...!! BRO!
BoiPrescott: bro? bro? bro? bro? bro! bro! bro!
LadyVic: Will you guys stop? This is spamming my phone?!!? The light's going crazy!!
WatsonJuliet: Have you guys heard? About Rachel?
CourtCourt: OMG
DanaRelLay: Oh boy, this should be good.
CourtCourt: IT IS
Rachel kissed that new girl. With the mousy ass hair!!!!
SweeT: Wait Courtney that can't be right
I saw her kiss Chloe the other day? It was like right before class. The halls were kind of empty so I don't think they noticed anyone was around
LadyVic: Neither of you are wrong probably!!!!!
Rachel's a scheming bitch
DanaRelLay: Rachel would never do that to them!
Say what you want about her but those two are her best friends. Can't believe you Victoria.
BoiPrescott: ill ask her about it ugh
it's probably nothing serious
knowing rachel she probably found a way to make the whole thing work in her favor
The Real Cool Kids
FranzFernando: So BASICALLY, what you're telling us is that the rumor is out.
Does Max Caulfield is gay.
Xten: WORDS, Fernando.
She's only a little gay.
Maxoxo: I knew I would regret telling you guys anything!!!
FranzFernando: When can we meet the lucky girl in some capacity
Is she one of those two girls you keep talking about!?
Maxoxo: No!! She's special
Xten: Okay I take that back she's more than a little gay
Never heard someone unironically call another person special
Maxoxo: I can't believe I expected you guys to be like "yeah Max we support you" and I was ridiculed instead )':
How will I ever recover )':
Xten: In the loving arms of your special girlfriend
Maxoxo: LISTEN SWEATY
FranzFernando: LMFAO
Whoever she is, she's been a good influence
Xten: Uh oh!! Caulfield's coming to get me!
Maxoxo: You guys are legitimately the WORST!!
THANK YOU FOR ACCEPTING ME
I'LL TELL YOU MORE LATER
I LOVE YOU
Xten: We love you too girl!
Also, don't thank us for doing what we're supposed to lol.
FranzFernando: I want to be the best man at your wedding. You have to let me twerk. Wow all your guests. We can invite the kids from the Space Needle for their encore
Do It For Kate
Stellar: Newest rumor about Rachel Amber:
She's a cheater
Maxoxo: She isn't :)
Lyssa: Well where are all these rumors coming from
GrahamCracker: Idk, probably one of the Vortexers. I know Chloe. She wouldn't let that stand!
Katie: You guys, Warren's right. They aren't the nicest...
Ok, they're a little imaginative.
BrookeS: Just say it, Kate.
They're the worst.
DaCosta: they're the worst
Lyssa: They're the worst
Stellar: They're kind of the worst!
GrahamCracker: They're pretty much the worst. :/
Katie: You guys!!
Maxoxo: They're alright tbh!
Dana and Juliet are really cool.
But in general they're not too bad.
BrookeS: You do realize they're probably talking about you too right?
Maxoxo: Chloe would punch anybody if they were saying seriously bad stuff lol!!
But this is harmless.
Rachel's not a cheater
Let's talk about something else!
Katie: I agree with Max!
How do you guys think you did on that essay for Mrs. Stevens?
gay
priceless added xoxoRachoxoxo and Maxoxo to the chat
priceless: i'm so #blessed
Maxoxo: I had a really great time in Portland with you guys.
Thanks for. Um. The kisses?
xoxoRachxoxo: You can thank us for the kickass dates we're gonna go on.
But thank YOU for the kisses!! You're so sweet omfg
priceless: i'll bet ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Maxoxo: You're entirely too pleased about this but I don't blame you (': (':
xoxoRachxoxo: I'm glad you're both happy.
All According to Plan.
>:} >:} >:}
priceless: oh no no no
don't you try and take credit for this Gift
i am the one who was friends with you both so really this is my doing
Maxoxo: I made you guys talk to each other
priceless: damn you right
xoxoRachxoxo: But I'm beautiful.
A homing beacon for the ladies.
You are both in my Grasp.
priceless: you're so extra omg
xoxoRachxoxo: Extra beautiful? :O :O :O
Maxoxo: Yes. (':
xoxoRachxoxo: Thank you cutie :-* :-* :-*
You guys, I demand a kiss a day and Much Affection.
priceless: max you're a dirty enabler
Maxoxo: You're extra beautiful too Chloe
Bolstered by the strength of your joint gay I am powerful I am eternal
priceless: agh thanks babe
what are we gonna tell ppl tho
apparently we aren't as sneaky as we thought?
Maxoxo: I don't think we have to tell people anything if we don't want to?
I told my friends from Seattle that you guys were like... one person?????
Knowing them they'd probably take it in stride but I want to settle in first
Have you guys to myself :)
priceless: that sounds hilarious lmfao
we're like a gem fusion or smth
hi guys this is my girlfriends chlamber
xoxoRachxoxo: WE ARE THE GRANDLE JAMS WE ALREADY ATE TODAY
But yeah! That's a good idea, Max. People talk about me all the time haHA.
I know you've seen the grafitti!!
I'm just gonna Not answer questions, like I have been
Keeps me Mysterious. >:}
priceless: ugh enough about other people
do you guys wanna hang out during lunch today
i can get mom to make us some bomb ass food at the two whales
Maxoxo: Sounds great!! I've missed you guys
How'd it go with your parents, Rachel?
xoxoRachxoxo: Not great, like I was expecting. LMAO.
It looks like they're at least willing to listen to me, though. We'll see next weekend.
But yeah! Lunch sounds good. Remember what I said about kisses and affection.
priceless: i said it once and i said it again
i'm so #mcfuckeningblessed
Bonus (A few months later)
gay
xoxoRachxoxo changed the chat name to Negligent Lovers Support Group
Negligent Lovers Support Group
xoxoRachxoxo: I'd like to give a shoutout to my girlfriends for always putting me down and leaving me hanging. )':
Now I have to invite Taylor to our chat because her girlfriend's also a cold bitch )': )': )':
priceless: WHAT
we leave you alone for one day and you're bellyaching
Maxoxo: Rachel!!! Don't be that way!!
It was just a day! We promise we had a reason.
Maxoxo changed the chat name to Rachel Amber Appreciation Group
Rachel Amber Appreciation Group
xoxoRachxoxo: That's more like it and it's always why you're my Favorite, Max. <3 <3
priceless changed the chat name to don't trust them hoes
don't trust them hoes
priceless: #fakegirlfriends
Maxoxo: NOOOOOOOOOOOO
priceless: im breaking up with you guys
xoxoRachxoxo: Stop acting like you were the one who was hurt and Abandoned....
Maxoxo changed the chat name to There Was No War In Ba Sing Se and It's Staying That Way
There Was No War In Ba Sing Se and It's Staying That Way
Maxoxo: I mean it!! >:(
Rachel, I promise we'll explain soon enough.
Come to my room? We're both in here...
xoxoRachxoxo: )': You're both so mean and inconsiderate
priceless: you're the worst OMFG
get your ass in here so i can kiss you or whatever
xoxoRachxoxo: No mouth to mouth.
I don't accept kisses from the likes of you. You can kiss my hand.
priceless: OH MY GODOHMYG ODO HMY GOD
From: [email protected]
Subject: It's Your Birthday
Good morning Rachel!!
I know you always check your phone when you wake up, so hopefully you'll see this before you see us today!
I know you're still upset about us bailing on you the other day, but that was for good reason. We wanted to set up a surprise for you (and I'm NOT telling you what it is, so don't ask and just enjoy the day with us). Chloe was like "yeah Rachel likes to hang out on the day before her birthday and talk about her birthday and she likes pre-birthday gifts" and I felt really bad about leaving you hanging like that, but it was for a good reason!
Just wanted to send you this to let you know that I'm so, so happy that you decided to give me a chance after I flubbed you that first day. lol. I thought you were very pretty and smart and that you smelled like fairies. But I also thought that you hated me so that wasn't fun.
I haven't always been comfortable with who I am? Or the people I like? But spending time with you and Chloe has taught me so much. I'll tell you more about that in person because this email will be super long if I don't.
So. Long story short? You're awesome, please forgive us.
PS. Pack a bag of clothes for about a week :)
Love you!
From: [email protected]
Subject: hey loser happy #nasty19
ok first of all you're so dramatic omfg please get over yourself
anyways you know i dig you like a fat kid digs cake so you shouldn't be all sad about this whole thing. me and max stayed up so we could send you this. we planned ahead but you stayed! longer than we were expecting! fuck you!
ah no but seriously. it's gonna be a good day today. we're getting you food. we're paying for once so dont even think about bringing your fuckening wallet. then we're gonna do things. fun things. gay things. those last two things were kind of redundant but ya know. hope you got some good rest because we're WRINGING YA OUT
you're pretty cool i love you
ps we're using your stupid mom van because my truck is Shit
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected], [email protected]
Subject: YOU GUYS!!!!!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
I take back everything I said! I'm so excited! Where are we going? What are we doing? Where are we eating? Why am I packing? Why am I emailing you guys! Come to my room so I can hug you!! And you were Mean to me yesterday so you're PACKING FOR ME! I love you both so much ugggggGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!