Chapter Text
1 year later
Running up the hill I felt the sun leave a permanent hotspot on my back. My breathing was rigid and I was at the back of the group but it’s a miracle that this time I could catch up to them. The view behind wasn’t half bad.
“Tsuki, I’m surprised you don’t need your inhaler this time.” Ever since getting the inhaler my breathing has improved significantly.
“Yeah, well maybe I’m just trying to keep up with the rest of you.” Yam’s giggled at my response, and it felt like music to my ears. Maybe this training camp won’t be so bad this year.
.
.
.
.
.
I stand corrected. This might be the worst one yet.
Not only are we going to be staying a few days longer, but past players were going to be coming back as a way to “encourage” us. I don’t get what the point is. If we already spent a whole year with them, then why do they need to show up again?
“It’s for the memories Tsuki! I’m sure there’s plenty of our old upperclassmen who would love to play with you again. Plus, I heard that Fukurodani is going to join us on the last day.”
After seeing Akaashi from our game, Yam convinced me to ask for his number. He said that it would be good for me. I guess that I can agree on that. Between the other two idiots the omega seemed to be the solution to being calm.
“Fine, I’ll put up with this for now, but I won’t guarantee that I’ll fully enjoy it.” I know that I’m stretching the truth when I say it, but my mind won’t admit that every conversation I have with him sparks something inside of me that I’ll never understand.
“That’s the spirit! Now hurry up, we still have another practice match before we can go to bed.”
There’s another thing I love about him. He always seems to find the good in something. I’m sure he’d make a great captain next year. While walking away I can’t help but stare. The view really isn’t that bad
—----------------------
We’re in the middle of the practice match against Nekoma when the doors fly open. It took every part of me to pray that the new members were just as loud as the old ones.
“HEY HEY HEY.”
Yet, somehow, the world seems to be against me.
“TSUKI. TSUKI. YOU REMEMBER ME? YOU REMEMBER US PRACTICING TOGETHER?”
I don’t know him. I think he may be a stranger that they picked up on the side of the road out of pure pity. Maybe they lured him in with some kind of treat. He does have the energy of a dog and the smell of one, too.
“Bokuto-san, I’m sure he heard you.”
There it is. The calm after the storm.
His appearance didn’t change much after our last meeting, but he looked more mature. More sure of himself. The duties that come with being a team’s captain.
“Akaashi-san, it’s good to meet you again.”
“It’s a pleasure seeing you as well. Have your practices been doing well?”
“They have, thank you for asking.”
Any person hearing us might think that we’re not close, but in reality it’s the opposite. Other than Yamaguchi, he’s one of the only people that I would message frequently. Between us there’s not much to say but we always know what the other means. It is a peaceful thing.
“UGH you guys are so boring. You gotta talk about more entertaining things.”
There’s always someone that ruins the peace. In this case it’s in the form of a cat and owl.
“Bo’s right, you two talk with no soul.” Kuroo shouldn’t be one to talk. Last year I couldn’t have a conversation without having to hear a chemistry joke.
.
.
.
.
.
The sleeping areas were cold and dull. Not only that, the people around were more annoying asleep than they were awake.
I stepped outside for some air. Laying next to Tanaka with his mouth wide open wasn’t the best of ideas. Suddenly I heard the doors sliding open again. People needed to mind their business. I was getting ready to tell the person off until I saw who it was. An angel. Didn’t matter what he looked like and what clothes he wore. He would always look ethereal.
“Want to tell me why you’re awake at one in the morning?”
I couldn’t lie to him. Not when I was so vulnerable.
“I may have done something that ,depending on the person, would be considered stepping over a boundary,” He didn’t talk, just sat down beside me with his head on my shoulder.
“Last year when I found Akaashi dancing it was the only thing keeping me up at night. When he talked to me about it he talked differently. He looked as if tears were going to fall from even mentioning it. So, I may have went to the gym after hours again. This time I recorded him. It would have been fine if it was just that but…”
“But?”
“I submitted him dancing to multiple schools hoping that they would take a second look at him.”
Opening my phone I tilted it enough for him to see.
“Tokyo Ballet? That’s one of the best schools to get into.”
“I know but is this what he wants? I mean what if I got him an audition just for him to tell me that he doesn’t really care about it that much?”
A weight is lifted of my shoulders as he looks at me through those doe eyes.
“Guess you’ll just have to ask and find out.”
—----------------------
After our conversation I immediately went to the gyms. Knowing Akaashi he was probably silently practicing when all lights were off.
Sure enough there’s only one gym occupied with the soft sound fo music and feet hitting the floor. He moved with grace that I’ve never experienced up close yet vaguely familiar.
“Is there a reason you came besides watching me?” Guess I’ve been caught.
“There actually is something I wanted to talk to you about. It’s actually important.” h
He stops dancing, looking up with eyes half opened.
“Oh?”
“Yeah. Uhm, I’m not fully sure how to go about this since it was done out of impulse.” It’s official. I’m a coward. I couldn’t even talk anymore, all I did was pull out my phone and shove it to his face.
I don’t blame him for looking confused. He hesitantly take my phone and starts scanning the phone. Anxiety starts to run through me when his face changes into something of horror. Almost as if he had just seen a ghost and couldn’t believe it.
“Wha- what is- what is this?”
“It’s an audition. I sent them a video of you dancing and they were interested enough to want to see you in person. I got the email two days ago.”
He smiles, shakes his head, and starts walking away.
“I can’t accept this.”
“Can’t or you won’t”
For the first time ever he glares at me with enragement.
‘I’m not going to accept an invitation for something that I’m not even interested in.”
“Why not. I watch you play this sport everyday and your face tells me the same thing each time. Others see you thinking that you enjoy it but to me it looks like you hate it.”
“OF COURSE I DO. OF COURSE I HATE PLAYING THIS DAMN SPORT. TRAVELING FROM SCHOOL TO SCHOOL WITH NOTHING TO ACOMPLISH FROM IT. IT’S JUST A FUCKING CLUB NOTHING MORE.”
The words of volleyball being just a club hits different coming from him. It’s wrong, but I stay and listen.
“Do you know what it’s like to not only be shamed for wanting to do what I love and be shown multiple times that you’re best just might not be good enough? Day after day I’m told that if I follow my career choice that I’d drown in misery. That I would be worth nothing because not only is being an omega hard enough but pursuing something that I dream of everyday is useless.
I poured my blood, swear, and tears into practicing everyday to the point that my feet got blisters. My legs would bruise from how many times I fell. Taking multiple meds because of the headaches I would get from spinning too much. I thought that if I proved them wrong about not being enough then they would finally see what I see.
BUT NOW LOOK WHERE I AM. I would never be chosen to dance first. I was always in the damn shadows. I was never looked at twice or even once.”
“Then why pick volleyball? You said the moment you wanted to join was when you saw Bokuto.”
“I DON’T GIVE A SHIT. EVEN IF I SAW HIM I WOULD’VE NEVER JOINED. I WOULD’VE NEVER WANTED TO BE PART OF ANY OF THIS.
I was in my last year of junior high when my parents pulled the rug. Said that I needed something more stable in my life than jumping around like a useless chicken. So you could imagine my surprise when they said yes to volleyball. Of all the things they would’ve rather me done this is what they chose.
Now I play everyday knowing that this is my reality that this is what they want me to do in life. A sport that has no meaning. I’m not- I’m not even sure why I’m here. I should’ve quit two years ago.”
I watched. Watched as the dam of water finally went free. Ugly choked sobs that never looked pretty on anyone. My legs finally moved as I went to hug him. Hot tears dampened my shirt as a guide us to sit on the floor. No talking, just understandment between us.
.
.
.
.
.
Smoke come out of the bus engine. Our school is so poor it’s almost humiliating.
“Hey, I can tell what you’re thinking. Our school is not poor we just don’t have as much funding yet like the other sports.” I know Yam’s tries to find the good in things but this isn’t something that can be fixed.
“Tsukishima!” I’m about to get on the bus when a voice stops me. It didn’t take a genius to tell that the setter had be crying.
“Akaashi-san.”
“I wanted to apologize about the outburst I had towards you yesterday. I understand that all you wanted to do was help but-”
He stops talking trying to look at anything but me.
“Ballet is just a heartbreak that I’m too scared of experiencing again. I feel proud that such a prestigious school would want to recruit me. I also feel frightened that it would be my childhood all over again. How do I know that it will be different this time?”
Suddenly I’m transferred back to the stadium. Locking eyes with my brother and feeling my heart shatter.
“You don’t. You will just have to trust that everything will go as you want, not how other want.”
.
.
.
.
.
Despite being 22 years old I still feel like a teenager.
The nametag on my shirt doesn’t feel real. Working at the museum with paleontologist is something that an adult to handle. Yet, here I am looking over the vast variety of bones displayed for the public eye. I hear footsteps getting closer to the exhibit.
“Hello. Welcome to the- oh it’s you.”
“Well isn’t that quite rude to talk to visitors.”
His appearance didn’t change much after our last meeting, but he looked more mature. More sure of himself. The duties that come with being a ballerina
“Not when it comes to you.”
Akaashi smiles while standing next to me admiring the exhibit. He puts his head on my shoulder while his eyes are closed. A warmth develops inside. Not like one with my mate or of just a friend. One that makes me feel at home. It took me a while to realize it but I think I finally understand. Despite only being a year older than me, Akaashi-san is my second mother.