Chapter Text
The door to the Captain’s quarters slid open with a soft whoosh. Jim stepped inside, thrumming with energy despite the hour. He was followed closely by Spock, who stood as always with his spine straight and his hands behind his back. The moment the doors shut, Jim felt his heart rate pick up.
He was alone. With Spock.
Of course, they had been alone together countless times before — reviewing mission logs, going over reports, analysing Starfleet orders. But never like this.
Jim had imagined this more times than he cared to admit. He had fantasised about being alone with Spock, knowing Spock returned his feelings, kissing him, touching him. And all of this had happened in the span of less than an hour. He paced his room slowly, wondering what to do next. He had brought Spock here, but now what?
He couldn’t offer Spock a drink. Spock didn’t drink.
Would it be rude if he poured one for himself? Only God knew how badly he needed something to wash down his nerves.
But what if Spock didn’t like the taste of alcohol and he wouldn’t want to kiss him again?
Jim sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He finally looked up at Spock, who was standing quietly just past the threshold of the doorway.
“Let’s sit down,” the Captain suggested. But where would be the best place?
The desk was too formal — that was where they always sat for work.
The bed was a step too far — he feared Spock would interpret such a gesture in the worst way possible.
Spock nodded and waited, as always, for the Captain to lead the way.
Seeing no alternative, and pressed for time, Kirk simply sat on the floor, legs folded under him, leaning forward ever so slightly towards Spock.
The Vulcan raised his brow, clearly surprised, though he would never admit it. Still, after only a moment’s hesitation, he also took his place on the floor. He sat elegantly with his legs crossed, graceful as ever. Jim couldn’t help but sigh.
“Jim,” Spock began.
“Yeah?”
“We have kissed each other.”
The Captain swallowed. He could always trust Spock to be direct.
“Yeah,” he breathed out with a soft laugh. He was still processing it.
“Did you… enjoy it?”
Kirk opened his mouth to reply, but paused. How was he even supposed to describe how much he had enjoyed it? Let alone how he wanted to do it again?
“Spock…” he started. “’Enjoy’ doesn’t begin to describe how good that felt for me.”
The Vulcan nodded, face neutral. He looked no different to how he would if he was cataloguing data about soil composition. Jim felt a string of hurt.
Illogical, he told himself. There was no reason to be hurt. Maybe Spock was also trying to process things?
“I see,” came the thoughtful reply. Spock seemed to hesitate for a moment before continuing. “I too found the experience rather… pleasurable.”
He briefly brushed his fingers over his lips as though he was reliving that moment.
“Actually, it was quite fascinating.”
Jim’s hurt melted away into a puddle of relief mixed with joy.
Spock liked it. Spock liked the kiss.
“If you would be amenable, I would like to… collect more data.”
“More data,” Jim echoed. He knew what that meant. It meant Spock wanted to kiss him again. “Yeah, I think that’s a good idea.”
Accepting this, Spock got onto his knees and closed the distance between them. Still kneeling, he reached out to tilt Jim’s head up then bent down a little so their lips could meet. This time, he closed his eyes.
This kiss was softer than the first, more hesitant. Jim held back a bit to let Spock take the lead. He wanted him to be comfortable, to guide the kiss in whatever direction would give him more data.
It started with a brush of lips, then a small amount of pressure. Spock’s lips barely parted, but he did inhale sharply through his nose. He lingered for a moment before pulling away, retreating to where he was sitting before.
“Interesting,” Spock murmured.
“What was interesting about it?” Jim asked, genuinely curious.
“I have noted that the way you engage with me is vastly different to your previous romantic encounters — in as far as I have observed them,” Spock commented.
“How so?” Jim asked, although he knew the answer already.
“You are more reserved with me,” Spock explained. “With previous romantic relationships, you have been bold. You have guided your partner, spoken with a lot of emotion, and sometimes kissed them with more vigour. I have observed less of what humans describe as passion in our encounters.”
Jim’s eyes widened. He had expected something along the lines of him moving quickly with the women he had relationships with in the past, but not this.
“Spock — it’s not a lack of passion!” he quickly replied. “It’s— well—”
He didn’t know how to explain it without sounding like a sap. Of course, Spock waited patiently for him to articulate himself.
With a sigh, Jim continued. “It’s just that I… I like you. A lot. No— Spock, I love you.”
Spock nodded, collecting more data.
“And it’s because I love you that I’m taking this slow. I want this — us —” he gestured to the two of them, “— to work. I don’t want to rush you. I just want us to take our time and to make sure we’re both comfortable.”
Spock raised his eyebrow, not in skepiticism, but in a way that said ‘you have made a good point’.
Jim waited, hazel eyes wide, waiting to see if Spock would say anything.
The Vulcan met his gaze. It was clear he wanted to say something, but he was trying to find the best way to say it.
“Jim?” he spoke after a moment. The Captain looked up at him. “I would like you to teach me more.”
Now it was Jim’s turn to be sit in silence. He wanted to pounce onto Spock — to kiss him with all the hunger, all the pent up need, that had been brewing in him for so long. But he had to take things slow.
“Kiss me as though I am your lover.”
Those quiet words were all it took.
Jim knelt in front of Spock, who sat impeccably, with his legs crossed and hands clasped in his lap. He cupped his lover’s cheeks and tilted his head, crashing his lips down. If passion was what Spock wanted, that was what he would get.
Spock’s back hit the bulkhead with a soft thud, but that didn’t stop Jim. He moved forward so that his knees touched Spock’s ankles, lips claiming Spock’s with a ferocity he didn’t even realise he possessed. One hand found its way to Spock’s sleek black hair, warm fingers threading themselves between the strands. The other was at his chest, ensuring Spock stayed pinned against the wall — just where he wanted him.
After his initial surprise, Spock returned the kiss albeit clumsily. His lips chased after Jim’s every time they pulled away for a split second to breathe, and his hands moved from Jim’s waist to his chest and back down to his hips. Jim’s nails dragged softly against his scalp, making him tremble ever so slightly. It was bliss. Completely and utterly illogical bliss.
When Jim finally pulled back, his hands dropped to his own thighs.
Spock sat back, panting and dishevelled and licking his lips, face flushed green.
The Captain had never seen his First Officer look so undone, yet so beautiful.
“How was that for data collection?” Jim grinned.
It took a moment for Spock to collect himself enough to reply.
“I believe it was insufficient. At least twenty trials are required before data can be deemed reliable.”
“Very well, Mr Spock,” smiled the Captain, knowingly. “You’re the scientist here.”
“I also believe it would be more… efficient… if these trials took place in a more suitable environment. For example…” his voice trailed off as his eyes drifted over to Jim’s bed. “Of course, this would only be for data collection on the human act of kissing — not for anything further.”
Jim reached out and held Spock’s hand. “Of course. I’m always happy to indulge my science officer.”
And with that, he led the Vulcan to his bed.