Chapter Text
Hyunjin trudged home tiredly after an awful recording session with Changbin and Chan. Changbin ignored him the entire time, making no effort to even try and be civil. What was supposed to be an hour long session felt like an eternity. Hyunjin can’t get the look on Changbin’s face out of his mind— he looked at Hyunjin with a deadpan expression, yet his spirit seemed broken. Changbin seemed distracted throughout the entire session, his eyes darting anywhere they could, as long as it wasn’t on Hyunjin.
As soon as he unlocked his apartment door, Hyunjin’s phone buzzed twice in rapid succession, then a singular long buzz. He fumbled quickly to fish his phone out of his bag, since he recognized that vibration pattern. It was the one he set up for the group chat he shared with his group members, that way he wouldn’t miss a message when his phone was on silent. The message preview seemed normal, but his heart dropped to his stomach when he read the entire thing.
‘hey, boys. i’d like us all to meet up tomorrow for a chat, since we don’t have any required schedules. nobody’s in trouble, but there are a few things that need to be discussed as a team. if everyone can be at mine and changbin’s place by eight tomorrow night, that would be great. please like this message so i know you’ve seen it, thanks!’
Hyunjin’s first reaction was to throw his phone across the room, where it landed with a sickening thud. He stood at the entryway to his apartment, staring into the dark, unoccupied space for a few moments before realizing that he looked like an idiot. “God dammit,” he huffed, stepping over the threshold and slamming the door shut behind him. He tried not to think about the text as he unlaced his shoes and placed them neatly beside the door. He definitely didn’t think about the text while he changed into comfier clothes, ones that didn’t reek of the stale studio air. And Hyunjin certainly did not think about it at all when he heard his phone buzzbuzz buzzzz several times in rapid succession, which probably meant that people were responding in the group chat.
Because Hyunjin was doing so great at not thinking about it, he decided to write about it in his journal. It could be considered embarrassing for him to have a journal, because he is not a girl under the age of fifteen, but his journal is his safe space. It doesn’t matter if he has a bad day, or if he complains, or if he swears like a sailor, his journal won’t judge him.
Putting pen to paper is therapeutic. The repetitive scratch of the ballpoint, the thick flow of ink, the dull cramp in his wrist— all of these help Hyunjin clear his mind as he vents. He loses himself while writing, upheaving his worries and fears in a messy scribble on the page. Hyunjin wrote about Seungmin and Minho’s secretive behavior, Changbin’s coldness, and how Chan’s message was likely related to all of that. He was so focused that he didn’t hear the loud knocking on his door, which picked up the longer Hyunjin went without answering.
“Hyunjinnie!” A loud voice from behind the door shattered Hyunjin’s focus. He blinked and stared down at the mess of words below him. Some of the words were blotchy, and Hyunjin couldn’t think of why that would be until he wiped his face. Tears.
Another cluster of urgent knocks set Hyunjin into motion, as if a switch was turned on in his brain. “Just a moment!” Hyunjin had to hide his journal. Panicked, he decided to just shove it into the couch cushions for now, which was hopefully a fine enough hiding spot. He took a deep breath in as he approached the door, then exhaled slowly as he opened it.
In his head, Hyunjin had expected Han or Felix to be waiting on his doorstep. Maybe even both of them, honestly. What Hyunjin certainly did not expect was Yang Jeongin standing there, looking like someone had just given him the worst news of his life. Before Hyunjin could get any words out, Jeongin crashed into him, nearly sending the two of them tumbling to the ground. He clutched Hyunjin tight, like he was afraid Hyunjin would disappear.
“I’m sorry,” Jeongin sobbed into Hyunjin’s chest, muffled by his hoodie. “I’m so, so sorry, please forgive me!”
“Hey—hey! Jeongin, what’s wrong?” Hyunjin managed to shut and lock the door with one hand, while his other hand rubbed Jeongin’s back somewhat soothingly. He tried to peel away from Jeongin’s grasp to get a good look at him, but when that proved impossible, he shuffled them over to the couch. He pulled Jeongin into his lap, holding him close.
“I-I shouldn’t have said anything to them.” Jeongin’s sobs echoed in the small apartment, sounding absolutely devastated and wrecked. Hyunjin briefly forgot about his own despair, feeling the urge to fix whatever was clearly bothering Jeongin. He tightened his arms around Jeongin and pressed him flat against his own chest.
“Breathe, Innie. Okay?” To demonstrate, Hyunjin took a deep breath, just as he did before he opened his door. He slowly exhaled, repeating himself until Jeongin could follow along without breaking into panicked sobs. “There you go. It’s okay, Innie. I’m not mad at you, why would you think that?”
Jeongin sniffled quietly, and he stayed silent. Just as Hyunjin was getting worried that Jeongin had somehow fallen asleep, he pulled away from Hyunjin’s arms. His face was tear-streaked, his eyes looking a little puffy and red. His lip was also red, probably from biting it. Hyunjin would usually scold him for such a bad habit, but now was not the time nor the place.
“Promise not to be mad?” Jeongin shifted on Hyunjin’s lap, seemingly thinking about getting off of it, but ultimately decided against it. He fidgeted with the rings on his fingers, spinning them around and around. Hyunjin had been momentarily distracted by the motion, embarrassingly, but snapped himself out of it.
“I could never be mad at you,” Hyunjin said honestly, catching Jeongin’s restless hands between his. He squeezed them gently, looking up at Jeongin with a soft smile. “Unless you ate my leftovers, or broke something, that is. Surely you didn’t do that, did you?”
Jeongin giggled and shook his head, though he was still obviously distressed. “I wouldn’t do that… Okay, well, not this time.” Jeongin pulled his hands away from Hyunjin, only to instead lace their fingers together loosely. Hyunjin only had a moment to panic (gayly) before Jeongin was speaking again. “Seungmin told me that you were… Ah, I shouldn’t have believed him! He told me that you’re dating Felix, which is already crazy, but that you’re cheating on him with Jisung!”
Hyunjin’s blood ran cold, and his stomach churned sickeningly. He wanted to say something, to defend himself, but Jeongin had already started talking again. “And I know that gossip is bad! I shouldn’t have believed Seungmin anyway, but for some reason I… I went and told Changbin anyway… I feel so bad! He completely freaked out on me, and I didn’t realize that Chan was also there, and then—” Jeongin sniffled again, getting choked up as he recounted the experience. “He sent that message in the chat a few hours later, and I know it’s all my fault! I shouldn’t have said anything, I’m sorry…”
“Ah…” Hyunjin sucked in a breath, his brow furrowed in thought. How was he going to explain this to Jeongin? “I’m going to tell you something Jeongin, but you have to let me speak without interrupting me. Okay?” When Jeongin nodded, Hyunjin sighed and prepared to tell the truth. He didn’t want to tell Jeongin like this, hell, he didn’t want to tell anyone like this, but he has to seize the moment now and prevent further miscommunication.
“The truth is that I am dating Felix. And… also Jisung.” Jeongin’s mouth dropped, and his eyebrows shot up past his bangs. He started to speak, but Hyunjin shushed him. “Hey, quiet! Anyway, um, you might rightfully think that that means I’m cheating on Felix. I’m not, for the record. I’m… well, I’m polyamorous. Felix and Hannie are fully aware of this, so there’s no cheating or lying involved.”
Hyunjin took a moment to breathe, feeling both proud that he got this off of his chest, as well as nervous for what’s to come. Now that the cat is out of the bag, Hyunjin has to tell Jeongin the rest of his secret. However, before he can figure out how to word his confession, Jeongin beat him to the punch. “You can do that?!” Jeongin looked confused, rightfully so, but not in a negative way. Rather, Jeongin looked like his worldview had been fundamentally shifted. Hyunjin was a little taken aback, but he nodded anyway.
“Well, yes. It’s not like there’s a rule or law stating otherwise.” Hyunjin cocked his head slightly, taking in Jeongin’s expression. He was visibly thinking about this new information, taking it in and processing it until he looked up at Hyunjin with a glint in his eye.
“Then, that’s great! I mean, um, it’s just a misunderstanding, right? At the meeting tomorrow, you can just clear it all up and it should be fine!” Jeongin slid off of Hyunjin’s lap and stood up, visibly vibrating with a newfound energy. His stress from earlier seemed to have completely melted away, replaced with relief that he didn’t screw everything up for his friend. When Hyunjin’s expression remained pinched, his energy dissipated a bit. “...Right?”
“In a way,” Hyunjin said vaguely, which didn’t do anything to quell Jeongin’s reemerging stress. “There’s more. In addition to being head over heels for Felix and Jisung, I’m sort of, kind of, also madly infatuated with the rest of those fools.” Jeongin didn’t seem to catch on, which was somewhat expected. “I’m in love with you, Jeongin, and everyone else. Chan, Changbin, Minho, and Seungmin.”
Jeongin stood in the middle of Hyunjin’s living room, frozen. He looked like a deer in the headlights, his eyes wide and his posture tense. Hyunjin watched him warily, though he had already somewhat accepted that Jeongin wouldn’t take this news well. After all, Jeongin didn’t really seem… He never struck Hyunjin as queer. It’s not that this topic had never been touched on; they all know that Hyunjin and Seungmin are gay, that Changbin and Chan are bi, but Jeongin? He’s never mentioned it. Not that he needed to, of course! Hyunjin just assumed he was straight and moved on.
It’s obvious now, seeing how Jeongin is still rooted in place, unmoving. Hyunjin sighed and ran his hand through his hair. He tugged slightly at the short strands that were beginning to grow out. “Sorry. I know it’s weird, I do, but I figured that I shouldn’t hide anything anymore. You can just forget about it if you want—”
“Forget about it?” Those words seemed to have snapped Jeongin out of whatever thought process he was stuck in. He rubbed his hands together, messing with his rings once again. Hyunjin was too nervous that ogling Jeongin’s hands didn’t even cross his mind, which was a first. “Hyunjin… are you stupid?”
“...What?”
Jeongin stood there, blinking rapidly. Hyunjin sat up straight, his expression shocked and confused. “Oh. Oh! Whoops, I mean—” Jeongin laughed breathlessly, though Hyunjin didn’t see the humor in being called stupid . He could feel his eyes start to burn and a slight pressure behind them, a sign that tears were soon to follow. Jeongin must have noticed this, because he started trying to explain himself quickly.
“I didn’t mean it to sound so harsh! I just mean— Hyunjin, you didn’t know? I’ve had feelings for you since, like, before our debut! I mean, look at you!” Jeongin couldn’t contain his laughter any longer, even as he tried to keep speaking. “You didn’t know that- that we all had the biggest crushes on you? Really? You had all of us wrapped around your finger!”
“I… No?” Hyunjin shook his head, taking in that truth bomb. Those seven idiots that he’s pined over for years, fully believing that they would never see him as anything other than a coworker and friend, were doing the exact same thing ? He didn’t know if he wanted to slam his head into the wall or slam his lips into Jeongin’s— or, well. No, those seem like two perfectly reasonable options.
Jeongin giggled sweetly, though he looked way too pleased for his own good. He stepped closer to Hyunjin, stopping right as Hyunjin’s knees touched his own shins. “Idiot,” he murmured, reaching down to take one of Hyunjin’s hands in his. “Well, this is good, right? When you tell everyone what’s up, then everything will be okay!”
As much as Hyunjin would have loved to believe that, he thought back to how Jisung reacted when faced with this same situation. His facial expression must have given some of his apprehension away, because Jeongin frowned slightly. “Huh. Maybe not?”
“I’m assuming that some people won’t be as fond of the… arrangement.” Hyunjin sighed and squeezed Jeongin’s hand. Jeongin made a noise of agreement as he seemed to understand Hyunjin’s point of view. “I mean, Hannie completely shut down when I told him about it.”
“Jisung has a flair for the dramatics,” Jeongin pointed out.
“True, true.” Hyunjin chuckled and shook his head, thinking about the various other times where Jisung has blown something small way out of proportion. He can’t focus on that now, though. “You… don’t think that I’m weird? That it’s wrong?”
Jeongin considered this for a moment, his head cocking to the side. “Not really? I mean, maybe it’s weird in theory, but I don’t really care. Be who you are, and all that.” He smiled, and Hyunjin could have sworn that he fell in love all over again. He barely kept himself from reaching out and squeezing Jeongin’s cheeks, with those stupidly adorable dimples. “As long as I don’t have to date Jisung, then I’m fine with it. He’s weird.”
Hyunjin snorted, his laughter bubbling out of him in a not so attractive way. He didn’t care though, not when it was just him and Jeongin. Hyunjin tugged on Jeongin’s hand, pulling him down into his lap once more. “That’s not how that works, but I’ll keep that in mind. Jisung has helpfully coined the term ‘boyfriend in law’ for this relationship, if that helps.”
“Ah, of course he has a name for it!” Jeongin had that stupidly dazzling smile on his face again, and Hyunjin was absolutely mesmerized. It hits him that he can actually do this; he can express his feelings to everyone tomorrow. Maybe it won’t end very well, but at least he knows that the feelings are mutual. The anxiety will definitely gnaw at him tonight as he tries to get a few hours of sleep, but he has a few people in his corner, at least. In the meantime, Hyunjin decides to retrieve his phone from the other side of the room, so he can introduce Felix and Jisung to their latest boyfriend in law.
Hyunjin eventually went to bed around 3 am, and he slept for a grand total of three and a half hours. He woke up in a cold sweat for no particular reason, which was just lovely. As he sat up in bed, he mentally hit himself for not letting Jeongin spend the night. Alas, he couldn’t change the past. Hyunjin fumbled for his lamp’s light switch, which bathed the room in a soft warm glow when he finally flicked it. Like a normal person, Hyunjin decided to busy himself by cleaning his entire apartment at six in the morning.
Stress and worry can do a lot to a person’s mental health, which Hyunjin realized when he finally stopped cleaning. Somehow, five hours had passed. He hadn’t even realized! On the plus side, at least his apartment was practically spotless. With nine hours until the meeting, Hyunjin decided to call up Felix and Jisung, just to see if they’d come to help calm his nerves.
“Good morning, love.” Felix picked up first, having obviously just woken up, if his deeper than usual voice was anything to go by. Rustling was heard on his end, and suddenly his end of the call was lit up. Felix’s hair was sticking up in every direction, which Hyunjin resisted the urge to poke fun at. Felix looked devastatingly beautiful, it was unfair.
“I guess Jisungie’s still asleep,” Hyunjin remarked as Jisung’s profile picture blipped away, meaning that he didn’t pick up in time. Felix made a noise of acknowledgement, though his face was currently buried in his pillow. “Are you not as nervous as I am about this?”
“Nah. Given what Jeongin told us, it should be all good. You’re just always so high-strung, Jinnie.” Felix picked his head up and looked at the screen, his eyes narrowed as he tried to get used to the bright light. “I’ll take your mind off of it. You’re a part of my ‘get ready with me’ vlog, now!”
True to his word, Felix did a great job at diverting Hyunjin’s attention away from the impending doom that was the team meeting. Felix went about his morning routine as usual, with the added twist of staying on the phone with Hyunjin the entire time. Hyunjin was more than happy to watch Felix nearly drown himself as he washed his face, and his spirits lifted further when Jisung finally decided to join them. Before Hyunjin even realized it, another two hours had passed.
After reluctantly ending the call with Jisung and Felix, Hyunjin was at a loss for how to fill the remaining seven hours before the meeting. He could try sleeping the day away, but that seemed far too unproductive, even by his standards. Journaling was always on the table, but the thought of trying to unpack all of his feelings right now made his stomach churn, surprisingly. Even thinking about vegging out and watching anime didn’t seem appealing. So, Hyunjin decided to break out a fresh canvas and palette, hoping to while away the hours by breathing in mostly non-toxic paint fumes.
Like journaling, painting was an outlet for Hyunjin. Art in general was, really. It was all in the process; he would load his brush with any color, then brush a nice and thin coat of it onto the canvas, which primed it. After priming, he would take a smaller brush and let his intuition guide his hand across the canvas. Sometimes he painted landscapes, other times he drew inspiration from movies or TV shows. This time, he could see a face beginning to form from his brush strokes, which also wasn’t unusual. What was unusual, however, was that Hyunjin didn’t stop at just one face.
Seven somewhat abstract faces emerged from the canvas in dark brown streaks. Of course, his mind had wandered and decided that he should paint his seven friends. He could scrap it or paint over it, but he couldn’t bring himself to do either of those. Instead, he moved on from his underpainting and mixed a few colors together on his palette, ready to start his actual painting.
Hyunjin’s concentration was broken by a loud alarm blaring from his phone. He swore to himself as he nearly dropped his brush and narrowly avoided getting any paint on the floor. Note to self: put tarps down, next time. Hyunjin glanced at the time, and he really needed to get going if he was going to get to Chan’s place on time. He sighed and quickly rinsed his brush in his water cup, debating briefly on whether he should go through the effort to put everything away. Ultimately, he decided against it. Sue him for being a little lazy.
The painting was… interesting. It was incomplete, because not even Hyunjin can finish a large painting like this in a few hours, but there was promise. He could clearly tell whose face was whose, which was already a great start. The most effort was put into Jisung, Felix, and Jeongin’s portraits, interestingly enough. The painting was very warm-toned, which created a cozy and familiar atmosphere. Hyunjin itched to sit back down and keep at it, but he knew that he couldn’t waste any more time.
As Hyunjin got changed, his phone buzzed with messages of encouragement from Felix and Jisung. He smiled when a message from Jeongin also found its place on his lock screen, which was punctuated with a green heart. It was too sweet, really. Hyunjin was starting to believe that everything just might be okay.
Those optimistic feelings quickly faded as Hyunjin made the trek over to the BinChan residence, though. His anxiety was ramping up with every step he took. What if those mutual feelings that Jeongin was talking about weren’t mutual any more? It’s been years since they debuted as a group, after all. Feelings can change in such a long period of time… Hyunjin didn’t think about how his own feelings definitely hadn’t changed, though, because that would disprove his anxious theory; he knew that he was overthinking, but it was safer to overthink than to think he’ll have a fairytale ending where everyone lives happily ever after. Real life doesn’t always work that way.
Before he knew it, Hyunjin was in front of Chan’s door. He hadn’t even realized that he made it. And with two minutes to spare, it seemed. Hyunjin shook out his nerves, willed his shaking hands to calm down, and knocked on the door timidly. Barely two seconds had passed before the door was flying open, causing Hyunjin to flinch back.
“Ah, Hyunjin!” Chan smiled at him, though it was one of his signature nervous smiles. He stood in the doorway for a moment before stepping out into the hallway with Hyunjin, closing the door behind them just enough so nobody inside the apartment could eavesdrop. “I’m sorry for doing this to you, really. I should have warned you, but—”
“I get it, Channie. I… I have a lot of explaining to do.” Hyunjin was glad that Chan seemed accepting of the situation, but that was only half of the problem at this point. “No matter what happens, we’ll still be friends, right?”
“I told you already that I could never hate you, man. You can’t control who you love.” Chan seemed a little confused, but more than eager to remind Hyunjin of their conversation from months ago. Hyunjin appreciated the reminder, but he also wanted to smack Chan upside the head and tell him that he’s been in love with him for years. Instead, he just smiled and nodded.
Chan opened the door and let Hyunjin inside. He took off his shoes at the door and placed them neatly beside the haphazardly thrown shoes, courtesy of the other house guests, surely. When Hyunjin poked his head into the living room, he could see that Seungmin, Minho, Changbin, and Felix were already gathered. Felix looked up and waved at Hyunjin, while the others looked at him warily. Hyunjin saw Minho whisper something to Seungmin, who nodded in return. Well, fuck.
Hyunjin padded over, intent on sitting next to Felix, but Minho took that exact moment to drape his legs over Felix’s lap, essentially blocking him from sitting down. “Seat’s taken,” Minho said coldly, tilting his head as if to dare Hyunjin to challenge him. Hyunjin took the hint and reluctantly sat on the floor instead. Chan cleared his throat, attempting to cut through some of the awkward tension.
“Alright, guys. Jeongin and Jisung are almost here, so let’s just… be civil to each other.” He didn’t specifically call out Minho, but the message was clear enough. Minho scoffed and removed himself from Felix. “Right, let’s—” A knock at the door sounded, and Chan quickly hurried off to answer it. Lucky, he gets to get away from this horribly uncomfortable situation.
“You alright?” Felix asked, leaning over the side of the couch so he could see Hyunjin better. Hyunjin didn’t miss the way that everyone elses’ eyes landed on him, watching his next move. He nodded, a tight-lipped smile flashing briefly across his face. Felix didn’t seem convinced, but he also read the room and recognized that the vibes were not positive. He settled back into his spot just as Jisung came into the room, followed by Jeongin and Chan.
“Great, we’re all here. Everyone, please take a seat.” Chan was acting very leader-like, which wasn’t entirely unusual on its own, but it made Hyunjin uneasy in such a casual setting. Jisung slid into the spot next to Felix, and Hyunjin didn’t miss how Seungmin’s leg bumped against Minho’s in response. Jeongin sat next to Hyunjin and flashed him one of those stupidly cute smiles that he’s known for. Chan nodded at them and sat cross-legged on the floor, facing all of them. The tension in the room was so thick that Hyunjin was finding it a bit hard to breathe, but that was most likely due to the crippling anxiety he felt.
“Firstly, big thank yous to everyone—”
“Get to the point, Chan.” Minho’s cold demand cut through the air, causing everyone to jump. Seungmin hissed and hit Minho’s arm, to which Minho just scoffed.
“I’m getting there. Please, don’t interrupt me.” Chan sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. His gaze settled on Hyunjin with an apologetic look in his eyes. “Hyunjin, ah, you already know why we’re here. There’s been some… There’s a rumor going around that you’re in a relationship with Felix.”
“Not a rumor!” Felix helpfully chimed in, a dopey smile on his face. Muttered congratulations and a smattering of applause from the group follow. Chan shushed everyone, and he began to look a little exasperated.
“Right. And there’s another rumor that you’re cheating on Felix—” Chan preemptively stuck his hand out towards Jisung, telling him to be quiet. “—with Jisung. You can see why this would cause some bad blood, right?”
“Yes, I understand. I realize that this looks really bad.” Hyunjin hung his head, feeling ashamed that he let this get so out of hand. “I’m… I’m really sorry. I’ve been lying, kind of.”
“When you hurt one of us, you hurt all of us.” Changbin spoke up, his dark eyes practically boring holes right through Hyunjin. “Felix doesn’t deserve to be— hey, you don’t look upset at all?”
Everyone’s attention turned to Felix, who was happily tucked into Jisung’s side. He hums in question, glancing over at Changbin. “Ah, don’t mind me. Let him finish!” He smiled and gave two thumbs up, then diverted his attention back to Hyunjin. “Go on, love.”
“I’m not cheating on Felix, nor am I only dating Felix. I’m… I’m with both of them.” After a pause, Hyunjin pointed to Jeongin as well. “And this one, but that’s a recent development.”
The silence in the room is deafening. Hyunjin looked around at each person, taking in their reaction. Chan looked surprised at the mention of Jeongin, but Hyunjin didn’t blame him. Minho sat up straight and stared directly at Hyunjin, his eyes wide and his brow furrowed. Next to him, Seungmin started smacking his arm multiple times, whispering something that Hyunjin couldn’t hear. Minho clicked his tongue and hit Seungmin back harshly. Changbin’s expression was unreadable as his gaze shifted between Hyunjin, Jeongin, Felix, and Jisung.
“Well.” Chan broke the silence with a clap of his hands, which startled Changbin. “Glad that’s taken care of. Thank you, Hyunjin.”
“Ah, Channie? I have something else to say, too.” Hyunjin felt Jeongin nudge his arm, and when he looked down, he saw Jeongin’s outstretched hand waiting for him. He took Jeongin’s hand and squeezed it for comfort. “Uh, I just want to preface this by saying that I love you all so much. What I’m about to say might be a little… shocking.”
Hyunjin took a deep breath, diverting his eyes to a random spot on the back wall. It’s a photo of the eight of them, taken at a restaurant a few years ago. Chan must have hung it there. They look so happy… Hyunjin could feel how fast his heart was beating, like it might come straight through his chest. He can do this.
“I have feelings for all of you.” A beat of silence passed before Hyunjin continued to speak. “Ah, that’s so hard to say. I’m sorry. I would have been content with never saying anything about it, really! I didn’t want to ruin what we have, or make things awkward. But, well, I think I’ve had enough with miscommunication and lying. I have awfully gross and mushy feelings for all of you. Take that as you will.” Hyunjin’s grip on Jeongin’s hand is so tight, it has to hurt. But Jeongin doesn’t complain, he just sits there quietly and lets Hyunjin ramble.
Minho was the first person to react after a long stretch of uncomfortable silence. He stood up abruptly, which caused Seungmin to fall onto the couch. Minho marched up to Hyunjin, looked down at him, and spoke after a tense few moments. “Idiot.”
“Minho,” Chan warned, broken out of his contemplation. He looked conflicted, his brows pinched together like he was experiencing a bad headache. Minho just waved his hand at Chan, acknowledging the warning but not stopping himself.
“Hwang Hyunjin is an idiot.” Minho dropped down, squatting on the floor so he was eye-level with Hyunjin. Then, surprising everyone, he grabbed Hyunjin’s face in his hands and kissed him square on the lips. Hyunjin didn’t even have a chance to react before Minho was pulling away, a self-satisfied smirk on his face. “Idiot,” he reiterated, flicking Hyunjin’s forehead before standing up and sinking back into his seat.
Seungmin scoffed and hit him again, which seemed to be a trend between them. “He’s an asshole,” Seungmin stated, pushing against Minho’s arm. “But he’s also right. You think that feelings would ruin our friendship?” He paused for a second, thinking over what he was about to say. “Especially when you’re not the only one that has feelings for multiple people?”
“Hey!” Minho groaned and pushed back against Seungmin. “Stupid, I thought we were gonna wait to tell them! Nice going.” The attention on Hyunjin was shifted to Minho and Seungmin, who were acting strangely. Stranger than usual, which Hyunjin himself had noticed recently. He narrowed his eyes at the pair, and suddenly it clicked.
As if to prove his revelation, Seungmin tugged meanly on Minho’s arm and pulled him in for a chaste kiss. Jisung and Felix shrieked and covered their eyes, while Chan blinked in shock. Poor Changbin was still trying to process Hyunjin’s confession, unfortunately. He stood up and shuffled away from the two newly-announced lovebirds.
“Let me get something straight!” Changbin’s loud, authoritative tone halted Minho and Seungmin’s shenanigans, thankfully. Seungmin pushed Minho away again, though he looked just as satisfied as Minho had when he kissed Hyunjin.
“But we’re not—”
“Minho, I will strangle you, so help me God.” Changbin sighed and dragged a hand over his face. “I’m serious! You,” Changbin pointed at Hyujin, “are dating those three,” he gestured vaguely to Jeongin, Jisung, and Felix. When Hyujin nodded, Changbin continued. “But you also have feelings for us.” Another nod. “And you two are dating.” Minho and Seungmin made affirmative noises. “But you both also have feelings for Hyunjin.”
“Yeah, keep up.” Minho was promptly silenced by Chan with a harsh glare.
“I’m just… What?” Changbin took to pacing back and forth slightly without even realizing it. “I don’t get it. Why do you want to do that? Date multiple people, I mean. Isn’t that cheating?”
“He’s greedy,” Jisung piped up. At the same time, Felix interjected with “He just has so much love to give!” The two of them snickered quietly. Changbin looked at Hyunjin, wanting an answer directly from him.
“I feel like monogamy is so limiting and boring, for me. It’s like, you can have more than one best friend, right? That’s how I feel about dating.” Hyujin slipped his hand out of Jeongin’s grasp and stood up, standing awkwardly a few feet in front of Changbin. “I don’t expect you guys to understand,” he said, glancing between Changbin and Chan, who still had yet to contribute to the discussion. “I just wanted to get it out there, you know? I’m tired of hiding this.”
“For the record, I do have feelings for you.” Changbin looked up at Hyunjin, his cheeks a little pink as he confessed. “But I think I need a bit to think this over, you know? That’s not a no, just…”
“I get it, really.” Hyunjin smiled, though he did feel his chest tighten a bit at the not-quite rejection. “Jisungie felt the same way, but you handled it much better than he did.” Jisung shouted indignantly at the jab made at his expense, which made Changbin huff. Well, seven down, one to go…
All eyes fell on Chan, who had his chin resting on top of his clasped hands. He looked deep in thought, staring blankly at the floor. Hyunjin couldn’t help but feel bad; he just put a shit ton of information out there, and it was definitely affecting Chan more than anyone else. He took a few steps forward before dropping down to his knees beside Chan. “Channie?”
“It would be irresponsible for me to get into a relationship, as your leader.” Chan spoke quietly, like he was talking more to himself than Hyunjin. “That could cause a lot of problems, both personally and career-wise. There could be unconscious favoritism, or backlash from the company— I haven’t even thought about what our manager might say.” Chan was talking himself into all of the worst possible outcomes, which was typical of him. He was an anxious person, and he was good at freaking himself out by overthinking.
“Sure, it would be irresponsible for Bang Chan to date his band member.” Minho pushed away from Seungmin and sat up, cocking his head at Chan. “Consider what Chris wants, though. You’re not our leader or coworker all the time. You can live your own life sometimes.” Minho’s straight to the point, no-nonsense way of speaking cut through Chan’s worry, it seemed. Chan’s shoulders relaxed slightly, and he looked up at Minho with a contemplative look in his eyes.
“I’ll think about it,” Chan finally said after a moment. Again, that wasn’t a no, but Hyunjin also noted that it wasn’t a yes. Regardless, he nodded and stood back up.
“Great. Well, that’s all I have to say.” Hyunjin stayed standing, feeling too awkward to go sit back down. Chan cleared his throat and looked around at the seven of them.
“Alright. If nobody has any more questions, comments, or other hidden relationships,” he pointedly looked at Minho and Seungmin. “Then you’re good to go. Get outta my house, you rascals.”
“That could have gone worse,” Jeongin mused. Hyunjin had managed to corral him, Jisung, and Felix back to his apartment without much issue. He would have invited Minho and Seungmin, but they insisted on staying with Chan and Changbin for a little while longer. Hyunjin kind of wanted to spend some time with them, especially after getting unexpectedly kissed by Minho, but he’ll take what he can get.
“Yeah, but it could have gone better!” Hyunjin groaned and buried his face in his hands. He wished that he could melt into his couch and never see the light of day again. However, his couch was currently occupied by the four of them, which meant there was no way he could do that. Whatever, he’ll awkwardly wallow while sitting up.
“They just need time to think it through! I know that they have mad feelings for you, dude.” Jisung leaned over Felix to pat Hyunjin’s head, trying to be comforting. It was only a little condescending to be called ‘dude’ by his boyfriend. “I mean, think about how long it took me. Like, a week! And I’m much more of an idiot than Channie or Changbin.”
“He’s right, you know.” Felix’s comment earned him a flick on the head from Jisung. He winced and continued. “I meant you were right about them needing time, gosh! Can we vote Jisung off of the boyfriend island?”
“I vote yes!” Jeongin immediately raised his hand.
“Hey, he doesn’t get a vote! He’s too new for that.” Jisung pouted and crossed his arms over his chest. Suddenly, Hyunjin’s shoulders started to shake. The three of them noticed this and immediately sprang into action.
“Love, what’s wrong?”
“Jisung, you broke him!”
“You brat! Come here, I’ll smack you right upside the head!”
Hyunjin lifted his head away from his hands, revealing a dumb smile that stretched wide across his face. He wasn’t crying, he was laughing like a fool. “You’re all so weird!” Hyunjin covered his mouth when he couldn’t stop his laughter.
Call him sappy, but he was really happy to have such great friends. It occurred to him that it didn’t matter what Chan and Changbin decided— as long as they were happy, then Hyunjin would be happy. That’s what love is, is it not? That’s what Felix, Jeongin, and Jisung told him when he explained his situation to them, after all. He just had to accept that Chan and Changbin would choose their own happiness above all else. Maybe they wouldn’t reach a decision today or tomorrow, but Hyunjin would be waiting for them whenever they decide that they’re ready.