Chapter Text
“Jeongguk?” He’s nervous, God, why is he nervous?
Right away, Jeongguk’s head turns towards him, eyes wide. Namjoon feels horribly exposed, standing in the doorway to his own bedroom.
“Yes hyung?”
He swallows hard before answering, afraid the words are gonna get stuck in his mouth. “I’m really sorry about yesterday, you weren’t meant to see me like that.” He pauses for a second, considering just stopping it there. Then, deciding against it, he goes on: “...I’m uh, I’m thankful though, I hope you know that. Because yeah, I uh, was pretty far out, and you were...”
He shakes his head at himself. What was he going to say? “You were really good at showering me with attention I don’t feel like I deserve, and can never accept because of how low my self-esteem is?” That would be the truth at least.
Jeongguk offers him a little smile, and jumps out of his bed, startling Namjoon. Then he’s right in front of him, hugging him tight.
“I want you to be happy hyung, and I want to be strong for you like you always are for all of us.” Namjoon can do nothing but stare at the younger who now has buried his head in his neck. Then, through the slight shock, he manages to lift his arms and hug back.
They stay like that for a while, before Jeongguk finally starts loosening the embrace. Jeongguk takes a step back then, red colouring his cheeks as he looks down onto the ground.
The silence is deafening, and it takes all of Namjoon’s inner strength to break it with a quiet “thank you”.
Jeongguk just shrugs. Then he looks up and meets Namjoon’s eyes. “Next time, you know, you can come to me. I don’t mind, really. And I want to give you the attention.”
(Oh, you were successful, your plan worked, your greedy little-)
Namjoon can feel tears prickling in the corner of his eye, but he manages to keep both those and the voice in his head in check as he opens his mouth to answer the boy in front of him, saying the only thing that really feels right.
“I will try to remember that. But it’s not easy for me.”
The tiniest bit of a smile flickers over Jeongguk’s expression. Then he reaches out to grab the older’s hand, and Namjoon lets him.
“I know. But you’ll get there.”