Chapter Text
Smart Stuart kept complaining about whatever ship they chose, and they had nearly looked at every ship at the dealership. It was truly a pain to go through every. single. ship.
They were just about to force him in one of the ships, when they realized he went behind the building, to look at the more expensive ships.
Once they followed him back, their eyes widened in shock at all the exotic vehicles they would never be able to afford in eons.
They saw him walk into the biggest ship there, it was almost as big as a small house!
The couple followed after him, who casually wandered across the ship, not particularly impressed.
Smart Beavis and Smart Butthead took time to meticulously inspect their surroundings. Soon enough, every single inch of the spaceship had been carefully studied by two pairs of curious eyes.
Smart Stuart, however, wasn't very fascinated by it — in fact, that was actually a cheap, mediocre vehicle according to his standards.
But the smarts LOVED it! It had separate rooms like a living room with a tv, a kitchen, 2 bathrooms and 2 bedrooms! And the cockpit was quite spacious. With one large, comfortable seat, perfect for whoever was going to drive the ship.
“Why, this is an incredible ship! I bet we could never be able to afford it!” Smart Beavis said, going to leap on the couch.
Smart Stuart smiled at his friend’s enthusiasm and proceeded to explain more about the ship, its model, average price, and its other features, including its soundproof walls, different lighting modes, and the cherry on top, it was able to connect to different radio stations from different moons and planets!
It was perfect.
“Well, I guess we know which ship we are using!” Smart Stuart smiled, before going up to the cockpit to begin the hijacking process.
Smart Beavis made eye contact with his beloved before rapidly getting up from the couch, in shock — neither of them ever expected their “friend” to be involved in thievery!
They rushed to the cockpit; Smart Stuart was already prepared to take off!
“...Smart Stuart! I'm glad you liked this spaceship as much as we did…” Smart Butthead approached him, peacefully, observing as his partner did the same.
“Yes, indeed, it is extraordinary, for sure!” Smart Beavis soon spoke. “However, I… I suppose this is way out of our budget…”
Smart Stuart stared at him, a bright grin formed on his face. “Oh, Smart Beavis! How amusing of you!!! Do not worry, please accept this as a wedding gift! Given by me to the greatest friends the universe could've brought into my life!”
Both smarts let go of a genuine smile before nodding and allowing Smart Stuart to begin to carefully fly the ship out of the dealership and slowly but steadily into the sky.
“I shall set the course and drive the ship, you two can go do whatever you desire, I'll set the ship on autopilot and come back in a bit!”
They held hands as they exited the cockpit and shut the door, heading to the master bedroom to continue their wedding celebrations once more. They were both equally grateful for the soundproof walls and doors with locks!
Meanwhile, Smart Stuart had decided to turn on the radio and began to tune in to different stations, before landing on a human station that played old 1920s-1950s music.
He relaxed as he prepared to turn the ship on autopilot, before the radio glitched when a particular song played on the radio.
It started with an orchestra playing normally, but got strange once the lyrics played.
“Ǹ̷̛̬͎̹̫̝̭̃͒̐̃͋̒̅͐̂̋̕͝ë̶̛̫̩̖́͆͗̽̄͗̊͂̔͆͋v̸̡̢̺͎̜͕͙̺̥̦͚̲̯̊́͌e̸̛̬̭̒̊̈͋̓̂̇͛̍͊͠͝r̸̤̘̂͑̂̃́̈́͊͊̐̈́̏̾ͅ ̵̨̡̉̿̽̍̕ţ̸͇̥̥͍̠̾̐̄̾̋̆͛̿͗͝͝͝ḩ̸̠̲͚͍̠̻̤̼͙̯͉̯̻͎̆̃͌́̑̋̐͝ǫ̷͂̒ừ̸̟͉͈̻͈̣̗̃̌͊̃̾̑͗̎̋̾̓̚͝ģ̵͓̫͉̣̪͇̭̮̐͂̇̏̃͌͊̋̕h̷̡̨̧̯̝̫̳͚͔̻͓͎͚̯̆̃ẗ̸͇͑̈͐͑̈́́̏̅͝͠ ̴͈͙̞̰̺̣̩͉͓̈̑͌̋̕ţ̶͓̺͕̗̣̬̠̀̅́͌̂̅̃͂͐͑̋̍̚̕h̶̝͔̺̻̺̱̯̋͆͆́̾à̷͕̙̅̆̈́̊͒̓̀́́̌̓̕̚͝t̶̡͕͔̺̻̝̮̙̙͖͊̔̀̂̋͒͒̍̕ ̸͔̿͒̒̾̂́̕ỳ̸͖͉̣̲̣͔͈̅̈́͛̈́̓̃̂̂̓̌͗̓̚͘o̷̫̭̩͓̗̽̈̓͐̋̉̚͝ù̴̧̝͚̱̥͔͇̭̬̪̤͇͆̊̈́͒̀́̓͒͆͘͝ ̷̨͔̰͚͉̼͙͉͌͆͂ŵ̵̱̭̓̔̈́̓̆̐ǫ̴̛̼͕͎̪͍͍̼̥̥̤̦̺͂̎̐̉̈́̊͑̒͘u̵̧̢̗̘̯̰͉̬̯̦̯̩̥̜̍̅͛ļ̶̥̖̞̼͍̮͙͉̉̓̂̓͊́̑͂͂̿̍́̚̕͜͝d̸̨̧̛̛̞͖̬͔͍͙̜͚͇̙̝̥̺̀͐̒́̋̅̉͐͋̀̍͂ ̶͎͔̥̓́̕ͅb̶͖̉͛͌̓ȩ̵̘̺̹̦̜̼͖̠̭͓͍͚̯̱̉͒̾̂͋͛͒̀͒̚̚͝͝͠͝
̸̬̞̼͙͈̳̱͈̖̭̱͔͇̪̈́͒͗̽̓͌̔̇͆̈́̋́̍͘͜͝S̴̡̻̖͕͚̑́̆ͅț̷̡̧̨̛͎̺̼̼͙͚̆̉̓̑́̄́̌̏̈́͘ą̵͚̲̯̼̒̔̃̾̓̓n̵͇̼̖̹̮̖̫͙͍͈̰͗͐̅̑̔͑̇͛̿́͘̕͝d̸̤̞̥̺͙͈̥͚͕͔͉͈̩̦̯̐̈́͆̚͘i̷̢̡͓̜̥͇̖͓̩̹̟̬̞͒̓̄̃͊̃̽̃̾̕͝n̸̡̲̪̞͔̱͇͕͉̜̤̈́̂ģ̷̺͈̥͚̺̤̱̪̫̥̭̭̓̈̾̚͜ ̴͕̜̜̘͍̪͓͇̼̲̤͙̍͑̓ͅh̶̢̨̹̻͔̩̹̐͛͊̅ȇ̴̩̹̲̤̞͓̙̦̱̮̹͓͔́̅͗̈͌̽̈́r̸̹͍͙̝̱͎͔̗̍͂̐e̵̡̳͙̖̘̱͗̽͑̕ ̴̩͌s̶̛͈͊̏́̎͆́͂̓͋̓̕̚̕͝ö̶̡̡̬̺͓͚̼͇̙̠͇́͂̈́̅́̀̓̈͐̒̿̑͊̚͜ͅ ̵̧̨̦͍̬̮̥̫̮̭̱̞͕͔̋̏̔͆̔̽̍͘ͅc̴̡̛̛͉̠̱̪̩̪̰͇͙̦͆̉̽̀̿l̶͇̄̎̃ǫ̴̛͕̝͓͕̳̤̺̺̓̾͐̈́͆͂̀̽̕͝͝ś̴̢̟̗̞̫͉̗͇͍͎̈́̔ę̸̝̩̫͇͎̗̟̹͚̬̈͐̋̉͠ͅ ̵̢̡̛͍̘͉̞̼͆̉̒͐t̵̛̛͖͕̭̟̟͚̺̘͍̼͜ǒ̸̢̠͙̝͙̯̠̜͋̕ ̵͙̦͉̻̌̾̈́͛͋͠͝m̷̰̖͗̇̐̔̎͐͒̄͑̒̚̚͝ḛ̵̡̨̫͍̪̟̠͍͍̦̜̝̑͗͂͂̔͌̈́̃̽͑͑̑̾̕͝
̴͍̞̲͉͖̊͊͜͠T̷̡̛̲̞̥̹̐̊͐͆̔̏̃͗͘̕h̶̜̫̙̞́e̵̞͖̻̖̣̭̙̞͖̰̭͊̋̉̑̏̈́͆̅͐̄̎̾͛̕͘r̵͔͈̻̲̣͓̀̉͑ȇ̴̡͖̪͍͚̲̟̦͕̺̹̪̈́̈͒͋̓͐̚͝ͅ'̷̢̢̩̠̰̣̱̖̠̰̗͇̃̿̂̽̐̇́̋͜͝s̵̨̨̢͎̮̥͉̙̘̬̤̹͍͖͊̈́̇̈́̓̍̚͜ ̷̢̢̹͍̮͓̫̥̥̙̀̏͑́̈́́̅̍̽̈́͛̃̑͘͝ͅs̸̜̥̦̼̩͖̯̙̻̳̹͎̹̣̀̂́̋́̀͊ͅo̴̡̡̞̪͇̬̘̭̱̒͒̿̈́ͅ ̴̨̨̧̺͉̪̬̖̺̼̯̖͐m̶̛͙̲̳̜͉̤͕̼̦̘͂̓̀͊̔̋̍̚̕͜͜ͅǘ̵̢̫̻̞̜̥̮̘̼̲̓̆̿c̵̨̨͖͔̭͔̯̣̹̯̪̋̾̀̽͛̈̕͜͜͜͝h̷̛̠̙̤̃̌̈́̅̎̀̄́͑͛͠͝ ̸̡͙͍͈̥̟̥̜͔̏̾̍͂͋͐̄̏́͌͌͗͆I̵̡̧͚̟̜̪̪͎̱͚̤͍͎̙͌̉̓̽͗̔́̃̍̽̕ ̵̢̛̗̬͓̩̩̬͚͔̳͌f̶̺͑̒̃͆͠ë̷̜͖͐̓̔̊̌̍̕ę̷̛̰̫̦̖̳̗̤̟̩̂͑͑̋̄̀͌̃̏̎͜͝͠ͅl̶̜̱̫̈́̓̀̅̿̏̀͝͝ ̷̧̰̤̫͌̈́t̶͖̩̼̬̱̞̝͙͉̀͋̆̿̕͝ͅḩ̴̢̙͔̯̝̑͌̈́̾a̶̡̘̩͍̣͈̰̱̰͎̠͓̘̱̍͌͛̑̈͝t̶̡̧̛̮̹̝̮̱̻̻̦͇̓͛͊̒͗̇̈́́̋̃̊̕͜͝ ̴̭̖͓͑͐̆͗̑̃Ị̸̩̲̖̬̲̱͇̂̓̀͋͒̏ ̶̣̜̠̞͗̽̏͛͐͐́͗̽̓̔̔̀̏s̷̨̬̦̩͈͈̺͊͒̆̆̾̈͘̚̚̚͘͠h̶̰̲̣̙̠͂́̋̌̓͆̀͋̓̂̆ő̴̢̧̼͙̰͎͎̰͆͒̄͝ũ̵̘͐̓̿̍̑́́̾̅̈́͊͝ͅl̶̢̜̣̪̞̤̰͌d̵̢̡̢̧̡̹͎͈̻͉̳̝̗̩̭̑̋̆̏͊͛̍̓̉̓̓̚̕͘ ̵̛̘͕͔͖͍̫͓̯̻͍̥͈͇̗̽̍̏̒̒̽̓̀̌ś̸̢͕̹̗̘͔̰̩̪͖̦̓̑́̇͐͂̍̃̈́͐̇̉͘͝ą̷̡̳̱̱͎̦̙̣͔̲̜̋̉̈̀̍̚ÿ̵̠͉̹͈̖͔̤̞̖͎͔͙́͗͌̐̄̚͝
̶̡̨̨̟̻̞̘̘̩̬̱̹̮͓́͌̋̓̏́̄̾̒͑͋͜͝B̴̛̛͙͈͕̬͎̞̞͇̥͐̏̂̓̅̾̊͝͠ư̶̪̹̑̃̒̆͊̓̑̒̉̕͝ͅt̶͚͛ ̷̧̡̡̧̞̯͎͔̳̥̖͆̏̒̓̓̈́ͅw̵̢̬̝̭̣͛̅̈́͂̚͝͠ơ̸̻̩͕̤̩̮͍͋̈̔̐̽͝ͅr̵͉̮̯̳̞̯̬̥̪̘̙̍̀́̈̔̂͘d̷̡̧̞̙͈̲̭̰̞̣̯̻͔̆͋͂̀̑̀̇̒̓̚͜s̶͖̀́̋͛̈́͝͠ ̸̛̪c̴̼̗͉̘͇̠̳̼̗̖̖͇̆̌̑̚a̷̢̛͙̼̦̺̫̓̀̾͌̂̑̍̑͛̈͝͠n̸̰̺̬͎̤̳̼̂́̀͜ ̴̡̛͉̜̻̪̹̩̦̐̏͐̃͒̾͗̆͘͝w̵̜̞̃͛̈́̄̅a̸̧̡͇͇͈̞̱͎̬̱̺͋ĭ̸̛̞̭͈͇̞̦̬̜̠͆̈́̐t̵̥̗̼͍̲͙̭͍̤̝̺̾̆̄̾̂̾ ̷̡̡̨̢̢̛̯̝͙̤̰̮̞͉̬͑̀͛̐̉̾̉̆̏̈́̒̃̐́u̵̞̫͌͗̀̆́̈͛̍́͌ņ̵̜̱̯̙͇̲̺͖̘̈́̽̿̽͗͊̈́̏̈́̃͋̚̕͜t̶̛̪͍͂̋́̋̀̒̌͊͂̉̉̆ì̸̘̹͑̈̈̅̈́̂́͆ļ̸̮͔̠͒̑͐͗͆͘͘ ̷͉͖͚̜̻̤͚̲̹̲̔̑͋̋͘͘s̸̨̥͔͍͚̪̜̼̅̂͑͋̿͌͊̅̚͘͜ơ̵̧̭̺͎͔̯͓͊́̔̅̓̓̎̀̂͛̑͝͝ͅḿ̶̡̦͔̬̤̰̺̖͓̠̗̼͖͓̇͛̀̌̏͠͝͝͝e̴̛̝̩̻̻̗̖̤̪͈̫̍̆̽̎̓̐̇̈́͒̒̓́͜͜ ̸̨̱͑̃̎̒̎̈́̏̒̀̆͑̕͠ò̷̙͔͍̬̰͈͕̦͚̠̗̥͎̘̪̔̃͑͐͌t̴̛̛͙̮̝̭̣͉̯͌̀͜h̴̛͔͉̻̠͖̻̳̳̩̯̥̦͂͂̽̑̎͐̔̒̕͝ͅe̷̳͇̼͛̀̅̊̆̍͆̅̈́͊͝r̸̛̛̗͈̙̔͗̿͑͊̓̿̚ ̶̰͎͉̲͕̭̱̠́̑̔̂ͅd̶̡̥͎̥͚͎͎̞͎̞̳̠͒̚a̷̡̡̛͈̙̯̺̠̲̞̪̣̱̰͂̀̄̋̈́̆͘y”
Smart Stuart was concerned and tried to change the station.
He rotated the knob slightly, expecting to find other earthly radio stations.
…The song, however, was still playing. Oddly enough, it seemed like no other stations were available at the moment…
The young man broke into a cold sweat, and immediately turned off the radio. His hands were trembling with fear, he knew there was something strange going on.
He set the controls on autopilot and went to search for the smarts.
Soon, he was knocking on every single door in the ship, not knowing where the newlyweds were. Before finally getting an answer once he knocked on the bedroom door where his friends were.
He put his ear to the door to hear very quiet whisper sounds before realizing the door was locked. Smart Stuart quickly backed away, realizing what was probably going on.
He sat down on the couch and waited patiently and about 10 minutes later Smart Butthead came out wearing an underdress, he was covered in hickeys and playful bite marks.
The man was heading to the kitchen to grab a few snacks for him and his partner, but eventually met his disturbed friend along the way.
He was left aghast by the unwanted encounter and instinctively brought his hands up, trying to cover most of the marks left by his beloved.
Smart Stuart, however, was too frightened to even notice it.
“Smart Butthead!!!! I apologize for interrupting you, but I believe we may be in danger!!” He returned to the cockpit, distressed, with Smart Butthead following right after him.
Smart Stuart sprinted to the panel, in what turned out to be a failed attempt to turn the radio on. “......How odd! I suppose the radio stopped working…”
Smart Butthead was intrigued, to say the least. He wondered about what might have occurred, as his friend seemed to be weirdly bothered by it…
Soon, a scream could be heard outside the cockpit and both men ran out to find the source. Just to find Smart Beavis near the kitchen cabinets, it seemed he had been startled by something.
“T-There was something in the cabinets, and-and I heard a loud noise come from it…” he ran to his partner, hiding behind him in fear.
Smart Butthead placed on a fake smile and slowly walked closer to the cabinets. “My love, it was probably just a space rat or some pest, no need to worry-“
He opened the cabinet to find a familiar face.
That person from the gas station with the bird mask.
He yelled and slammed the door, putting a broom in the handle to lock it and keep the person from coming out.
From what he’s had to do and witness, those people are absolutely dangerous.
The trio stealthily backed away from the kitchen, while the mysterious person remained locked inside the cabinet, unnerved.
Smart Beavis was frightened, but also concerned about their safety. He was quickly pulled into his husband's arms — although the man was equally shaken up — who tried his best to comfort him.
Smart Butthead gently caressed the back of his head for a moment; it took him a while to finally calm down. Both men soon pulled away from it, although their fingers were still intertwined.
Their eyes were eventually led to Smart Stuart, who was curled up on the floor, next to the door sweep. They stared at him — and each other — in silence, before approaching the terrified man and lowering themselves down to his level.
“Do not worry, Smart Stuart. We're in this together, remember?”
“You’re safe with us, we’ll find a secure way out!”
Smart Butthead got up from the floor and headed inside the kitchen, while his partner and friend waited outside.
He restlessly paced around the room, carefully inspecting the place until coming across a strange bag, seemingly hidden behind the counter.
His head tilted and he reached for it, carefully unzipping it and pouring all of the contents onto the floor.
The person in the cabinet must have heard it as they quickly began to panic.
“N-No… don’t look in there…” they whispered to themselves as they perked through an air hole they made in order to not suffocate.
Smart Butthead picked up and observed different items, obviously, a bird mask, a pocket knife, canned food, a water flask, some chewing gum, and one thing that caught his eye.
A sketchbook with skin-like binding.
He raised a brow before going to open it, not noticing a bell on it. Soon, it jingled, alarming the cabinet-dweller.
“WAIT! I’M BEGGING YOU PLEASE DON’T-“
It was too late, he was flipping through the pages.
The first drawings showcased a black and grey landscape, the air was smokey and the ground looked dusty.
The next few drawings showed different people, including the lady who attacked Smart Beavis.
Swan.
He took a moment to inspect the drawing, as it clearly stood out — from the composition to the eye-catching colors and the simple, yet impressive technique.
The man could tell that a lot of time and care had been put into that piece. Their uninvited guest seemed to be a talented artist, and a great admirer of Swan.
He flicked through the next pages. From this point onward, every single drawing portrayed the same white-haired woman, which Smart Butthead found oddly suspicious.
He decided to go back to his partner to let him know about his unusual findings, the sketchbook tingling along the way.
“NO!!!!!! PLEASE COME BACK, I WON'T HURT YOU!!!! JUST RETURN MY-”
The man pretended not to hear the desperate screaming arising from the cabinet, which made the intruder all the more anxious.
Soon, loud banging could be heard from the cabinet, causing the broom that kept it locked to begin to slip. Smart Butthead grabbed the pocket knife and got into a fighting stance quickly, ready for them to come out and attack.
He trembled but he knew he had to protect his husband and friend from getting hurt, they had to make it to earth.
They needed to be safe and free from all of this, no matter what.
After a few seconds the broom came undone from the handle. And the door opened, the intruder falling out and onto the floor.
Smart Butthead grabbed them and pinned them to the floor, putting the knife to their throat and snarling.
The intruder was scared beyond measure, and tried to reason with him.
“Re- I mean sir… I was never going to harm you! Just please give me back my book and Il leave-“
“Too late for that.” Smart Butthead said with a growl.
“D-Do not hurt me, I beg you!!! I… I can provide you useful information, how about that?”
The man thought about it for a bit, maybe it would be a wise choice to keep the invader alive, as a prisoner. For now, that is.
Smart Beavis soon entered the kitchen, cautiously, with a still frightened Smart Stuart hiding behind him. They came across a young lady with her hands tied to the dining table, a strange book sitting beside her.
“...I suppose this was the… Creature hiding inside the cabinet.”
“Correct, darling! She also owned the walkie-talkie I retrieved from the gas station…”
“Interesting…” he approached his beloved, reaching for his hand whilst observing the prisoner, who stared back at him, in fear. “Do you work for Swan?”
Her eyes lightened up! “...YES!!!! …I-I mean…” The woman sighed, in disbelief — she had no choice other than introducing herself and revealing the truth.
“My given name is Duck… I was sent here to find you both…”
“Why?”
“You… Are what we refer to as “rejects”, although I'm not aware of the reasons behind this title…”
“Rejects…” Both men were already familiar with the term, that's what they've been called for their entire lives! By their mothers, strangers…
…And the heinous workers from Judas.
Judas…
She did look to be the same species as them too…
“Our “Mama Bird” wanted you for herself, claiming you ruined her life…”
“Mama Bird?-“
Suddenly, a loud shot rang, damaging the ship.
All three men rushed to the cockpit in fear, just to find another ship attacking them.
They began to activate their own defense system, Smart Beavis and Smart Butthead shooting the guns while Smart Stuart steered the ship.
It went on for a while until suddenly…
The engine was shot.
They all screamed, including Duck, as the ship plummeted to the ground of one of the moons.
That moon happened to be…
Judas.