Chapter Text
Humin knew a lot of things.
He knew every single barbeque spot in the area, and could rank them in order of quality from best to worst if you asked (or did not ask).
He knew LeChatelier’s Principle (if you held up the definition on a cue card and let him read it off).
He also knew that something was definitely going on with Juntae and Hyuntak.
For the past week or so, they had been taking their afternoon power nap breaks during suspiciously similar periods, and disappearing together for twice the allotted time without explanation. They did seem well rested when they came back, but last time Humin checked, they only had one couch in the club room. Had they managed to find somewhere else that was as comfortable to sleep in? Or was something sinister going on? Could it be that they were not napping at all? Were they hanging out without him?
Humin was going to do everything in his power to get to the bottom of this mystery.
That is, if Sieun let him.
“Come on, aren’t you even a little curious?” He asked, whilst they were waiting for their two friends to return. Sieun didn’t even look in his direction, just shook his head once and continued playing the Biology video he was watching.
Humin huffed.
He didn’t understand why Sieun let those two disappear for as long as their hearts desired, but when Humin wanted to spend his well-earned break playing a video game one time , everyone made it seem like he was committing manslaughter. This was totally unfair.
He needed to find out what they were actually up to, in order to bring justice and order to the study group. More importantly, he needed to get out of this stuffy library that he’d been trapped in, and this mission served as a pretty good excuse. Unfortunately, that meant he needed to convince Sieun to let him leave.
“How about a deal then?”
Sieun paused for a second, and raised an eyebrow as though he were willing to humour Humin for just a moment.
“What’s the deal?”
“You just have to let me snoop on them one time so I can figure out what they’re doing. If they’re not in the club room, or doing something suspicious, I get my nap privileges back. If they’re actually just sleeping, I’ll…”
Humin thought about it for a second. He needed to strike a deal so groundbreaking that Sieun would have no choice but to immediately agree to it. What was something that Sieun could absolutely not refuse?
“You’ll…?” Sieun asked, expectedly.
“I’ll send you the photos of Suho I got from the last time we hung out.”
Sieun seemed unconvinced.
“He’s shirtless in them,” Humin added, almost forgetting the crucial detail.
“Deal.”
Humin smirked at his own genius. Perfect. And with that, Mission Find-Out-What-Hyuntak-And-Juntae-Are-Doing-So-He-Can-Finally-Get-His-Naps-Back had finally begun.
The next afternoon, Humin strategically waited until Sieun returned from the club room before stating that he really needed to pee. When he was sure all three of his friends had heard, and his alibi was watertight, he beelined it to the club room.
He decided to hide in the cabinet they usually used to store cleaning supplies, because it had vents at the top that he could peek through. It was foolproof, he would finally be able to find out what they were up to once and for all.
Juntae was the first to enter.
He took sheepish steps towards the couch, before sitting right on the edge of it in a foetal position.
Humin took his phone out, deciding that he needed to provide Sieun with live updates on his stakeout.
Juntae just entered. Doesn’t look like he’s sleeping. More updates to follow. Over.
When Juntae remained sitting peacefully, humming to himself whilst playing with a loose bit of string on his jumper, Humin felt bad for accusing him of foul play. The Juntae he knew would never lie! And now he was trapped in this cabinet spying on him for no good reason. Humin thought about just getting out and apologising, but before he could, he heard a knock at the club room door.
Humin noticed the elation in Juntae’s face before the door had even opened. He saw Hyuntak enter after, and grabbed his phone to tell Sieun.
Gotak here now. Starting to get suspicious. Over.
When Hyuntak walked in, he huffed like he’d just survived torture beyond his wildest dreams (although Humin could agree that studying math didn’t feel far off). Juntae opened his arms out wide, as though he were inviting Hyuntak to jump right into them. Humin tried not to gasp out loud and blow his cover when the invitation was immediately accepted.
Humin watched as Hyuntak pretty much ran into Juntae’s arms, toppling them both over so that they fell onto the couch. Juntae only laughed gently, and shuffled a little higher up before enveloping Hyuntak’s head into a tight hug.
“You’re worse than me, today,” Juntae said, his voice filled with so much fondness that it was practically tangible. Hyuntak let out a soft chuckle and intertwined their legs further.
Humin could not believe his eyes.
When Juntae combed his fingers through Hyuntak’s hair, and Hyuntak looked up at him as if he were a puppy asking him to do it again, Humin watched in utter bamboozlement. Hyuntak never let anyone touch his hair, not even when they were kids! Even when Humin did, he always got a nagging right after, but when Juntae does it, it’s fine?
He was so annoyed by Hyuntak’s obvious favouritism that he accidentally kicked a can of air freshener that was beside his foot, causing it to fall and make a banging sound.
Oh no.
Juntae’s head spiked up and he immediately turned to face the cabinet. Even Hyuntak, who was basically half asleep, seemed to be on high alert for a moment (or as highly alert as he could be).
“Jun, did you hear that?”
“Yeah, I think something fell in the cleaning cabinet, I really hope nothing spilt. Is it okay if I go and check?” Juntae asked. Humin tried to telepathically beg Hyuntak to say no, but his message didn’t seem to go through because he watched Hyuntak’s big, useless head nod through the vent.
Mission has been compromised. Over.
Humin typed desperately, but his fate had already been sealed. He could do nothing but wait for the door knob to turn, before his master plan was officially a failure.
He didn’t really think about how terrifying it would be for Juntae to open the cabinet door to reveal an entire human being inside before, but listening to Juntae’s blood curdling scream now, he could see how that could be scary.
As if on autopilot, Hyuntak shot up off the couch and grabbed a basketball, ready to use it as some sort of weapon against the intruder. When he made eye contact with Humin (who at this point had long accepted defeat), he threw the basketball at a speed Humin had never seen before.
“BAKU, WHY THE HELL WERE YOU IN THERE?!” Hyuntak yelled, and Humin put both hands up to surrender.
“Sorry, Gogo, I got lost on the way to the bathroom.”
A second basketball hit Humin in the face.
“YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THAT?!”
Humin attempted to innocently explain that he was just patrolling to make sure that they were actually napping and not just running off to hang out together without him, and that he’d gotten permission from Sieun beforehand. Juntae seemed to accept his reasoning (although Humin noted how timid he appeared, like he’d just been caught stealing from the convenience store) but Hyuntak seemed unconvinced.
“And I’m not the only bad guy here! You guys lied to me too,” Humin defended himself, “if you guys had just told me you were sleeping together all this time, I wouldn’t have come here at all.”
Humin watched the colour drain out of Hyuntak’s face.
“W-why did you have to say it like that ?” Hyuntak stammered. Humin gave him a confused look.
“Huh? But it’s true, no? You guys were sleeping together.”
“Well, yeah, but when you say it, it sounds like we’re… y’know,” Hyuntak trailed his sentence off.
When the dots start joining in Humin’s head, he gasps and rushes to cover Juntae’s ears.
“QUIT CORRUPTING JUNTAE WITH YOUR PERVERTED THOUGHTS!”
If Hyuntak had a third basketball, Humin was sure he would have thrown it by now.
“YOU’RE THE ONE THAT SAID IT, IDIOT!” Hyuntak yelled back, “AND HOW AM I THE PERVERT WHEN YOU WERE STOOD IN A CABINET WATCHING US SLEEP?”
“How the hell was I supposed to know that you guys were dating,” Humin huffed, “I thought you were just trying to get out of studying.”
Now, it was Juntae’s turn to get flustered.
“Dating? We’re not dating, Baku!” His face was as red as a tomato even as he denied the claims.
Humin couldn’t hold in his laughter. He’d just watched them cuddle with so much domesticity and affection that it looked like they’d been married for years, and they wanted him to believe that they weren’t even dating?
“Seriously?”
Juntae and Hyuntak both nodded their heads in unison. Humin did not fail to miss the quick longing glance that Hyuntak shot in Juntae’s direction, almost as though he wished it weren’t true.
“Oh, this is gonna be so good.”
He took out his phone, to send an update to Sieun.
Scratch that. I’ve got a new bet. And this one I’m absolutely going to win.