Chapter Text
It was the fifth night, and by the time Sydney got home she was a little gigly when she saw Carmy in her house. She knew it wasn’t just wishful thinking.
This time, she knew.
Carmy was not running.
And for some reason, definitely not running from her.
The thought made her more delighted than she cared to admit.
Dinner was a classic The Bear Italian Beef sandwich and she almost laughed as she saw it. A familiar food, and delicious as always.
However she did recognise a few extra spices and herbs that do not make recipe in the restaurant.
Carmen apparently couldn’t help himself.
As she sat down and took a massive big bite, she realised that he was openly staring at her. His own food, untouched.
“Stop looking at me like that!” Sydney garbled with a mouth half full.
“Like what?” said carmen.
“Like you always do!”
“Like what?” he repeated, but it was softer this time.
“Like you could… I donno, its like you… love me or something-” the words came out as a teasing joke, but he didn’t seem to think they were. He thought for a bit, still not eating his food. She shook her head, trying to ignore him as she took another huge bite.
“And I always… look like that?”
“Um… yeah…”
“Perhaps … since the very first day you first walked in?”
She stopped chewing to look back, his face framed with his signature messy hair and huge dark eyes that remained fixed on her face. Sydney tried to recall how often she has seen him, how often she has noticed him staring at her so attentively, like he sees her and only her.
Has it been the whole time?
Wait, what are you trying to say!?
But of course, it is that moment he shakes, picked up his food and joins her. She didn’t know how to continue, so let the conversation drop through dinner.
But Sydney was desperate for her night not to end, and was determined to drink a little caffeine (Decaf has less than tea, so its not too bad right?) before perching herself on the edge of the couch.
This time, Carmy took charge of the remote and put on a tv show about collage students who looked older than they said they were, and did absolutely zero study. Sydney found it quite humours and felt this surge of warmth everytime she openly laughed at a joke the same time Carmy mutedly chuckled.
But even with the energy she felt all around her, and the suggestion of caffeine, Sydney’s eyes couldn’t stay open. By the start of the second episode, her head was resting on his shoulder. And she was asleep before the ending.
Which was a pity, because she therefore couldn’ t see his unrestrained and authentic smile as it shone down at her. Like he had realised something that he probably should have known all along.
And it delighted him.
Sydney’s woke to a warm breath ticking the top of her head. She blinked a few times, and realised that she still sat curled up on her couch, as the sun started to sneak through the buildings around her and streaming into her living room.
As she pulled back from Carmy’s shoulder, a low rumble came out of his chest. A protest? She couldn’t be sure.
Still exhausted, Sydney realised she needed something more than sleep.
Coffee.
Made by professionals.
Before she snuck out of her own house, she took a moment to leisurely watch Carmy doze, able to do so without embarrassment or distractions. He was peaceful as his chest rose and fell, his lips slightly parted, inviting her closer to him with every breath.
She realised in a flash that he was absolutely beautiful, and blinked before she was tempted to rest her lips on his.
As Sydney locked the door and she almost laughed at the feeling like she was doing a walk of Shame, from her own place.
We didn’t even fuck!
But yet the night before felt like they shared something intimate.
Life beyond work.
Sunshine after a storm.
When she returned less than 20 min later, she was saddened to see she couldn’t watch him a little more as he was already awake, looking half asleep like her, and gathering his stuff to leave. He froze when she entered.
“I thought you left work,” said Carmy.
“It’s closed today. It’s Monday...” His eyes grew wide at her response, genuinely surprised
“Oh really? That went fast... I think this is the first Monday I haven’t count down for … forever.”
“Feel good to be retired?” she teased him, handing him his coffee. He took a massive gulp, and winced as it clearly burnt him.
“I feel like I can breathe,” was his honest reply. “And I feel terrible about it, cause I know I just left you to handle it on your own-”
“-Which I am nailing-”
“-as I told that you would! But still,” Carmy was serious as he spoke, “It’s like I’m no longer treading water, surrounded by fire. And like, JAWS size sharks.”
She had no idea how to respond, so she smiled tentatively before stating her own truth.
“Thank you for looking after me this week, I really appreciate it,” before sitting back down on her couch. He sat on the coffee table in front, their knees touching ever so slightly.
“I’ve liked looking after you. A lot. Honestly I thought the thing I would miss the most was Sugar, or Richie. Or letting down Mickey. But it was you.”
His coffee lay forgotten on the table, and he reached his hands out to lightly rest on her knee. She wasn’t even sure he realised he was doing it, but the feeling was hypnotic, emphasized by his words.
“I was leaving you, and I missed you.”
He shook himself a little, and looked up at her.
“And food, I missed cooking.”
“Of-course,” she agreed without missing a beat. “It’s nice to see you creating incredible work again.”
“Yeah, this week. This has been really good for me. I would like to… keep going, if that’s okay?”
“Keep… Feeding me?”
“Yeah… If you can handle me doing that – I know I’ve been pretty hard to be around.”
“Of course I can handle you Carm, I can handle you are your worst-“ she nudged his knee, letting him know she was teasing him before continuing, “Its basically all the time!”
But she was lying of course. This new Carmy feels so much different to who she had been working alongside with for so long.
“I would like that Carmen. You can keep cooking for me.”
Her coffee now empty, she placed it beside his. “Maybe you can come say hi to the team sometime. They miss you”
“Yeah, I would like that. I was thinking, after I get better maybe I even help out in the office or with Richie. He would love to boss me around even more.”
Sydney had never heard him suggest coming back, and heart leapt at the familiarity.
“Richie mentioned you last night!” She remembered, “Rattled on about you breaking records at the youngest baby to retire, only 3 years old! So I think he is getting closer to forgiving you. And he will, with time. He misses you. We all do.”
“I can see what you needed to go. Obviously not at the time. But now. I see you Carmy. Who you want to be, who you are trying to become.”
“Happy,” – said Carmy.
“In that case, as long as you don’t start drowning, I would love you to find your way back home to The Bear.”
Carmy’s eyes sparked as the smile grew bright, and his mouth formed the word LOVE.
Sydney thought:
Yeah LOVE.
That's the word