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Chapter Text

Bokuto ignored the pain that shot up his arms, his nails digging deep into his palms as the coach talked to them about the wonderful season they had and how proud they should be that they got this far. 

He hated this speech. He heard it last year and he trained so goddamn hard not to hear it this year but here he was and it fucking sucked.

Bokuto didn't even know what he would say when he would go up there. Last year, the captain had an amazing goodbye speech that fueled his motivation for winning nationals this year yet...

"Bokuto, a couple of words please," the coach requested, giving him a small smile of encouragement.

His coach moved aside as Bokuto slowly stood up and made his way in front of his team and other volleyball club members. He took a deep breath and rubbed his eyes hard before facing everyone.

"We lost and there's nothing we can do to change it," Bokuto started, clearing his throat and continued. "I'm grateful for my time spent in this team and to the friends I've made here. Thank you for supporting me all these years and I am proud to have been the ace of Fukurodani."

He bowed slightly and bit his trembling lip. The words felt hollow coming out of his mouth, as if he really hadn't quite realized this was the end of his high school career. The small sobs and sniffles from the crowd along with the scattered clapping only made Bokuto want to drop to his knees and scream as loud as he could. 

"Thank you all for your hard work," the coach said one last time, setting one hand on Bokuto's shoulder and squeezed gently. "You’re all dismissed."

Bokuto lifted his head and gave the coach a watery smile, too tired and too emotional to properly thank him for training him these three years. As he made his way to the exit, he caught the gazes of his fellow third years; their faces red, eyes raw, and cheeks stained with tear tracks. They all murmured good game and Bokuto cracked a joke trying to keep up the facade that one lost game isn't the end of the world. The other boys laughed a little, giving way to sniffles then tears, quickly bidding each other goodbye not really wanting to see the others to see them cry. 

Bokuto could hardly blame them. His rapid blinking was scarcely keeping the tears at bay as he tried to reach the parking lot. His throat was closing in on him and his face burned with frustration. 

"Bokuto, wait."

He wanted to yell leave me alone but he knew that soft subtle voice anywhere slowly stopping while angrily swiping at a tear that escaped from his eye.

"Hey, my parents are here so-" Bokuto started, a too wide grin hurting his cheeks as he faced Akaashi, interrupted by the sudden movement of arms enveloping him.

Akaashi said nothing during the hug, which was too short and too tight, or afterwards but Bokuto noticed the tinged pink area underneath his eyes and his lips that were red as if he was chewing on them the entire bus ride home.

Bokuto doesn’t even try to stop the tears from spilling as Akaashi lets go and allows him to leave. He jogged towards the parking lot, quickly finding his parents car, and slipped into the backseat before releasing a heart wrenchingly loud sob. He collapsed into tears the second the car left the parking lot, clenching his jersey tightly in his hand the whole ride home. 

“I'm so sorry sweetie," his mom said as an attempt to console him as he sluggishly gets out of the car with a deep frown embedded on his face. “Do you want me to cook you up something real quick?”

“No, don’t worry,” he answered quickly, scratching the back of his neck hard. “I'm going to take a shower and go to sleep.”

He can feel his parents’ gaze burning into him as he walked in the house and he sighed as he turned around before entering.

“It’s fine, don’t worry,” he calls out; giving them one more exhausted smile.

But no, it really isn’t. Nothing’s fine at all.

-

"Good morning mother dearest!" Bokuto yelled as he entered the kitchen. Stealing a piece of bacon off a plate. "I'm so hungry. When is breakfast going to be ready?"

"In a couple-why are you sweaty?" His mother asked, taking note of the bags under his eyes.

Bokuto chewed slowly, looking down at his workout attire and back to his mom as if the answer is obvious.

"I went out for a run, like I always do. Why? Was I supposed to do something this morning?" He asked, feigning innocence knowing what his mother really wanted to say.

"No, its just.." His mother trailed off before giving him a complacent smile and handed him another piece of bacon. "Never mind. I'm going to finish up in a couple of minutes so hurry and take a shower and come down when you're done."

"Okay," Bokuto chirped, stuffing the bacon in his mouth and took the stairs two at a time until he reached the second floor. He entered his room, rummaging through the mixed pile of dirty and clean clothes on the floor to find something to wear when he stumbled upon his phone.

The device was dead and Bokuto hesitated to connect it to the charger, for fear of the consolation messages that were sure to appear if he were to turn it on.

"Hey."

Bokuto flinched, dropping his phone instantly and turned around to see his dad at his door, a concerned look on his face.

"You're up bright and early," he commented, taking in Bokuto's sweat stained shirt and face. "How you doing?"

"I'm fine," Bokuto answered hastily, getting up from his crouched position, clean clothes in hand. "About to take a shower."

"Right," his dad muttered, looking down the hall and back into the room. "Look Koutarou, you don't need to-"

"Dad, I'm fine," Bokuto interrupted, running his free hand through his hair. "Honestly. I was just upset but I'm okay now. I'll be out in a couple of minutes."

He walked past his dad and into the bathroom, releasing a huge sigh before looking into the mirror. His eyes were slightly puffy from crying all night and he had ugly bags underneath but that was nothing compared to the aching he felt whenever he thought back to yesterday's game. 

It's fine, Bokuto repeated to himself as he turned the knob to the shower. Everything's fine.

-

"Bokuto, wait up!"

It’s tempting to pretend that he didn’t hear someone calling his name but Bokuto is neither childish nor rude so he stopped and turned around, waiting for the person who called out his name to catch up to him. He saw Komi jogging towards him, cellphone in one hand and the other holding his school bag to his hip as he caught up to Bokuto.

"Hey, all the third years and second years are going to meet up at a restaurant and I texted you about it but you didn’t reply.” Komi shook his phone a little and gave Bokuto a tiny smile. “Everyone’s asking if you’re going to come.”

"Sorry, my mom asked me this morning if I could run a couple of errands for her," Bokuto replied, shrugging in a nonchalant fashion before giving his old teammate a big smile. "Maybe next time, yeah?"

Bokuto didn’t wait for Komi to reply and quickly waved him off as he continued his walk to the bus stop. He pulled out his phone and saw that Komi did in fact text him, four times to be precise, as well as Konoha and Shirofuku. His inbox was full of unread messages and his missed calls had exceeded over fifty a long time ago but he couldn’t find it within himself to reply or call back.

He quickly pocketed his phone as he saw his bus turning the corner, walking faster to get to the stop. His phone began to buzz as the bus came to a slow stop, his fingers aching to press the off button. As he walked into the bus, he headed towards the back and quickly sat in an open seat. He pulled out his phone as soon as it started to buzz again, this time it was a phone call from Akaashi. Bokuto tapped his foot rapidly debating whether he should answer or not. When he finally made his decision to pick up, the call ended leaving Bokuto with a strange mixture of guilt and relief.

He tapped the do not disturb icon on his phone and opened up his music app, inserting his earphones delicately in each ear as the bus began to move. He stared out the window as the music blared loudly, forcing himself to not think about the team meet up today and absentmindedly wondered if he remembered to turn off his bedroom light this morning.

"Hey," Bokuto called out to his mom as he entered the kitchen to scourge the cabinets for some food. “Ohh, is that food?”

"It's so strange to see you home so early," she remarked, handing Bokuto the sandwich his was eyeing. "I made it for your father but he had to leave for an emergency meeting. Do you want it?"

“Yes!” Bokuto exclaimed, grabbing the plate and flipping the bread over, inspecting the contents before deeming it edible.

"Are you going to start packing today?" His mom asked as she opened the fridge, putting away the ingredients for the sandwich. "You only have a couple of weeks left before you leave."

"I have a while before I graduate mom," Bokuto corrected as he put down the sandwich, suddenly feeling queasy. "Are you that eager to get me out of the house?"

"I wish you would have picked an university closer to home," his mom complained for the umpteenth time, closing the fridge with a cup of pudding in her hand. "Your dad and I are going to miss you so much. This house will be so lonely without our only child here to make noise."

"Save the guilt trips for when I leave mom,” Bokuto joked as he dodged his mom's lighthearted attempt to whack him. "I guess I'll start packing then."

Bokuto stood up and was going to leave his plate at the table but he noticed his mother frowning at the sandwich that had a minuscule bite on it. He picked up the plate and made his way to his room, stopping at the entrance of the kitchen when his mother began to talk again.

“Don't forget to throw the things you don't want in the box I put in your room," his mom informed him accompanied along with a stern frown. "Knowing you, you’re going to wait till the last minute so please try to do it as soon as possible. Any clothes that don't fit or you don't want anymore, put it in the box so I can toss it okay?"

Bokuto saluted in agreement and slowly made his way up the stairs, pushing open his door with his foot and placed his unwanted meal on his nightstand.

Despite not playing volleyball for the past month, he felt so exhausted and tired from the minute he woke up to the second his head hit his pillow at night. He leisurely took off his school uniform and changed into a tank top, slipping underneath his covers and promised himself that he’d only to sleep for at least an hour.

When his eyes finally fluttered open, darkness filled his room, notifying him that his nap lasted much longer than hour. He took out his phone to check the time, 7:49, and he once again ignored all the missed texts and phone calls. He stumbled out of bed and picked up what he assumed were clean boxers and a shirt from a pile of clothes, making a mental note to sort those away tomorrow while he walked to the bathroom. 

He stood in the shower for ten minutes not particularly doing anything; just relishing the too warm water hit his skin. The day went by too slow he thought as he dried himself off, or did it go by too fast because he could hardly remember what happened during school. Bokuto sighed loudly as he applied his mother’s lotion to his face and elbows, frowning when he realized his bags have yet to disappear.

Upon entering his room he walked back to his bed, sitting near the edge and grabbed his phone, pulling down the notification center.

19 unread messages

8 missed calls

1 voicemail

Bokuto pressed the voicemail notification first; knowing there was a 99.9% chance it was Kuroo.

"Brooooo. Why don't you text me back? Are you mad at me? Are you no longer my bro? But it all seriousness, are you okay? Tomorrow's a half day right? So just come on over when you're finished with school so we can chill. Okay? Text me!"

Bokuto cleared the message and went into his messages, seeing that more than half of the texts were from Kuroo and the rest were from his old teammates wondering why he didn't join them. He saw one from Akaashi and left it unread.

Bokuto got up and walked to his desk, tossing his phone haphazardly onto it and slumped into his chai, pulling out his homework from his backpack. Despite it being near the end of the year, his teachers have been giving them even more homework, which happened to add an extra weight of stress. He grabbed his English textbook and a couple of highlighters, getting ready to start his all-nighter when his phone buzzed. Bokuto sneaked a peek at his screen; it was a text from Kuroo, all in caps and a couple of frowny faces mixed in. Bokuto huffed and shut off his phone, hastily turning his attention back to his homework.

-

"Holy fuck," Bokuto yelped, his right hand immediately coming up to clutch his chest. “What the fuck dude."

"You've been avoiding me," Kuroo simply said, looking pretty comfortable lying down in Bokuto's bed.

"My mom seriously needs to stop letting strays into the house," Bokuto joked, coming into the room and set his bag near his desk. He took off his jacket and was going to sit in his chair when Kuroo patted the bed loudly, eyebrows arched expectantly. Bokuto reluctantly walked over and flattened down the comforter before sitting near the edge of the bed.

"Actually, you should really lock your window before you leave the house," Kuroo retorted, scooting over to make more room. "But like I said, you've been avoiding me."

"I haven't been avoiding you," Bokuto denied, staring out the window instead of at Kuroo. "I've been real busy lately."

Kuroo hummed loudly, his fingers drawing lazy circles on Bokuto's comforter.

"Too busy to even send a text?"

"I think I lost my phone." 

Which is half true because Bokuto couldn’t find his phone. He was so sure he threw it somewhere in his pile of clothes three days ago but when he went to look for it yesterday, it wasn’t there.

Kuroo scoffs and points to the white iPhone on the nightstand next to him. The plate that held the sandwich was still there too.

"I had some time to kill so I tried to clean up a bit in here then I found it," Kuroo explained, fingers now tapping the bed impatiently. "Seems like I'm not the only one you've been ignoring though."

“I’m not ignoring anyone,” Bokuto scoffed as he leaned over to pick up the phone, checking the notifications and cleared them. 

"Mhm right," Kuroo said, not believing Bokuto. It was quiet for a while and Bokuto could feel the upcoming statement before Kuroo even said it. "If it makes you feel any better, we lost too."

"Knowing that the team I lost to lost to another team doesn’t really help." Bokuto admitted, falling sideways onto his bed. "If anything, it makes me feel even more shitty.”

"You're not over it," Kuroo stated rather than asked.

Bokuto rolled over on his back, shoulder touching Kuroo's arm and sighed heavily. He’s been doing that a lot more often, he noticed.

"Nope."

"Me either."

There’s a lull in their conversation but Bokuto’s too tired to talk about menial things.

"What are you doing?" Bokuto questioned as Kuroo softly sighed, draping one leg over Bokuto's hip and nuzzled his head into Bokuto's shoulder.

"I'm cuddling with you," Kuroo said deliberately as if Bokuto was an idiot. He waited a couple of seconds before barely whispering, "I've been neglecting Kenma."

“Really?” Bokuto asked, surprised at this information. “You’ve been going to the club though, haven’t you?”

“Yes, but it’s not the same. It’s hard to hang out with him and he knows that I want space but I really don’t. I just,” Kuroo trailed off, huffing loudly at his inability to properly articulate what he was feeling. “I just don’t want to see him-wait no. I don’t want him to see me like this. He doesn’t get it, not really.”

"What are you even talking about?” Bokuto asked, unsure of where Kuroo was going with this conversation.

"I don't know," Kuroo admitted. He started to tap his fingers on Bokuto's collarbone, admiring the way the tanned skin turns red as his nail hits the bone. "I understand he's also sad about the game but it isn't like my sad...like our sad."

"We shouldn't be sad though," Bokuto interrupted. 

"No we shouldn't," Kuroo agreed.

"We're able to play in college," Bokuto reasoned.

"That’s true." 

"I've been exercising and practicing by myself like usual."

"So have I," Kuroo said, now drawing random shapes in Bokuto's skin.

"But it isn't the same," Bokuto breathed out, eyes burning.

"I know."

Bokuto left it at that, letting the silence swallow whatever else he wanted to say. He doesn’t stop the incoming tears and he took a deep shuddering breath, Kuroo not saying anything. Maybe this was Kuroo’s intention, forcing Bokuto to come to terms with his feelings. He absentmindedly realizes that Kuroo never really did get what he wanted to say out but they’ll cross that bridge when they get there. Bokuto feels the vibrations of Kuroo’s humming; a tune that’s probably from one of Kenma’s video games, and the hand that was on his collarbone is now rubbing soothing circles on his chest.

“Bokuto…” Kuroo begins, his hand stuttering before resuming its motions.

“Hm?” Bokuto waits a while for him to say something but Kuroo still rubbing his chest and isn’t saying anything. Bokuto shuts his eyes; tears that were welled in them falling down and the feeling of drowsiness overwhelming him due to Kuroo’s actions.

Bokuto groggily woke up noting that there's still sun outside, which means that they've only been napping for an hour or two. He wiggled his body, trying to regain his arm back from Kuroo who's clutching it tightly.

"Dude, you're freaking heavy," Bokuto complained as gently pushed Kuroo awake. "Are you sure you've been working out?"

"Rude," Kuroo groaned, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "Is our cuddle session over?"

"Yeah," Bokuto muttered. "I have to make dinner today so I should probably get up."

"How responsible." Kuroo mumbled, taking his weight off of Bokuto. He opened his eyes for a few seconds, making eye contact with Bokuto before shutting them again. "Thanks bro, I needed this."

Bokuto sat up on his bed, taking in the sight of Kuroo still lying down, drowsy and disoriented.

"I feel like I should be saying that you," he retorted, poking Kuroo in the side. "I guess I feel better than before."

"Yay, now you won't be ignoring me anymore," Kuroo teased, pushing Bokuto off the bed and taking up the empty space with his body. "Wake me up when dinner's ready."

"Who said you're invited?" Bokuto asked but Kuroo opts to ignore him, snuggling further into the pillows. "Jerk."

Bokuto took his time walking down the stairs to the kitchen, pulling the apron that hung from a handle and wrapped it around his waist.

He still felt a little numb but the feeling of ever impending doom didn’t seem to be suspended around his neck anymore. It does seems a little bit easier to breathe, to look up and smile without the feeling of tears burning at the back of eyes, to talk and not have his throat feel like it was clogged up with cotton balls. He knew for a fact that this feeling, the sensation of failure and gut-wrenching guilt, won’t be going away so suddenly but it helped to talk about it. It’s good to know that his friendship with Kuroo wasn’t broken or even damaged because of a game. It hurts a little, and it probably always will when he thinks back to it but he takes a deep breath and turns on the stove.

It’ll be fine one day.

-

Bokuto saw the text message before his phone even vibrated, and grimaced at name. After the talk he had with Kuroo a couple days ago, more like after Kuroo lectured him, he figured that it was high time to stop ignoring Akaashi and face him head on. As a friend, that is, not romantically, Bokuto thought. He wasn’t ready to face that hurdle just yet, maybe.

He jumped onto his bed and stared at the ceiling for some time before mustering up the courage to pull up Akaashi's contact info and press call.

"Bokuto?"

"Did you miss me today?" Bokuto asked, hoping that he sounded like he was kidding rather than dead serious. There was another volleyball meet up, but this time was for the upcoming year and prospective students were invited to meet the past third years and their soon-to-be upperclassmen.

Akaashi sighed and Bokuto could hear paper shuffling as well as the music in the background being turned off.

"Are you busy?" Bokuto asked, rolling over on his side. "I can text you."

"No it's fine," Akaashi answered, the sound of paper being shuffled finally ceasing. "Just finishing up homework. How about you? Are you busy right now?"

Bokuto laughed and clenched the sheets underneath him. He suddenly felt anxious and wanted to end the call quickly but he pushed through.

"Of course not. Otherwise I wouldn't have called you, you know?" Akaashi lets out a small huff that could be mistaken for a laugh but Bokuto know better than that and identifies it as him being annoyed that Bokuto was getting sassy with him.

"Makes sense," Akaashi commented, allowing a lull of silence before asking the question that been on his mind since after school. "Why didn't you come today?"

"I was busy helping my mom out with stuff," Bokuto easily answered, this time actually telling the truth, his fingers tugging at a loose string from his bed sheet. "You know, she’s been complaining about how much she’s going to miss me. Honestly if I knew she’d be this much trouble I’d-”

"And why couldn't you come a week ago?" Akaashi interrupted, refusing to get sidetracked by Bokuto. "Or the get together nearly three weeks ago? I've told you that the first years miss your presence. And why haven't you come to pick me up at class before lunch? I know you don't hang out with Komi, Konoha, and the others during lunch because they asked about you."

Akaashi cringed at the last question, hoping Bokuto wouldn’t really catch onto that.

"This past month has been so stressful you know? Now that volleyball is over,” Bokuto stumbles a little at that, curling into a ball but continued. “I’ve been focusing more on school, which has been nothing but tests and projects and that’s not even including preparations for the upcoming graduation…I'm just so tired and busy. I'm more exhausted than my very first hell week."

"You need better time management skills," Akaashi replied, not completely over the fact that Bokuto has been avoiding him a lot more recently.

Bokuto rolled his eyes at that because that's definitely not the reason why he's tired and sulked as guilt consumes him a second later because there is no reason to get irritated at Akaashi for not knowing why he’s acting like this. 

"So have you started packing?" Akaashi asked after Bokuto doesn't say anything for a while.

"Yeah," Bokuto murmured. "Yeah, no I mean. I haven't started yet."

"Cutting it close aren't you?" Bokuto could hear blankets rustling from Akaashi's side.

"Are you in bed?"

"Yeah."

"Are you going to sleep?" Bokuto checks the time and they’ve only been talking for five minutes, which is more than they have this past couple weeks. His stomach lurched at that thought and he’s hit by even more guilt.

"No, it's just cold," Akaashi, answered. "Are you going to sleep?"

"No, not yet." Bokuto admitted, however he felt drowsy laying in bed and listening to Akaashi talk. “I’ve been sleeping a lot more recently so I really messed up my sleep schedule.”

"Are you going to help your mom out with chores again?" 

"Tomorrow?" Akaashi hummed in response and Bokuto bit his lip. "I don’t know. I’ll have to see."

 Bullshit, Bokuto thought. Of course he doesn’t have anything to do tomorrow but it’s not like he could just say that to Akaashi.

"I see."

"Yeah," Bokuto affirmed, switching sides so that he's now facing his bedroom wall.

"So almost a month before you leave right?"

"Yeah," Bokuto breathed out, suddenly hot underneath all his blankets. "Four weeks and three days."

"Counting down the days?" Akaashi tried to joke, his throat suddenly dry.

"Not really. Everything is going by really fast you know? It's like-" Bokuto stopped himself, not really wanting to explain the lingering feeling of suffocation he still feels every now and then. "It's exciting," he said instead.

"That's nice," Akaashi mumbled, slightly wondering if Bokuto knows how differently he's been acting recently. "I hate to end this call but I have to take a shower soon."

"It's okay. I'll text to you tomorrow then."

"Right," Akaashi said, not believing Bokuto at all. It’s been a long time since Bokuto last texted. He doesn’t move an inch from his bed, waiting for Bokuto to say his customary goodnight message.

"Well then," Bokuto mumbled, flipping over to his back, facing the ceiling now. "Goodnight and sweet dreams Akaashi."

"Goodnight Bokuto," Akaashi breathed out, a relieved smile on his face. "Sweet dreams."

-

The next few days at school are a bit easier on Bokuto.

He doesn’t feel like he’s changed dramatically but apparently his teachers are glad to see that he’s back to his old self, and the girl who sits in front of him turns around and tells him that she’s happy that he finally has a real smile on his face.

There’s no real reason to want to apologize to his old teammates, but the words come pouring out when he sits with them at lunch. They don’t mention that he hasn’t sat with them since the day they lost nor do they mention that Bokuto wasn’t the only one that was hurt by losing. It’s tense at first and a little unsettling because they’re so used to Bokuto being the life of the party that it takes a couple of tries, mainly poking fun at Bokuto, and then things seem to click into place. 

When school is over, Bokuto isn’t rushing to get his stuff and leave as fast as humanly possible. He took his time talking to old friends, he messed around with other jocks, he almost shouted out Akaashi’s name when he sees him pass through the mob of students leaving. Almost.

He heard his name being called as he's bending over tying his shoe and turned his head to the side to see Akaashi smoothly making his way through the crowd of third years to get to him.

"I'm glad I could catch you before you left," Akaashi said holding up a game. “I have something I need you to do.”

"You could have texted me to wait for you," Bokuto laughed, taking in Akaashi slight huffs of breath. "Are you tired from catching up to me? Don't tell me your taking it easy on conditioning?"

"I'm not tired," Akaashi scoffed, brushing his bangs to the side. “Kenma said that you’re going to Kuroo’s today, right?”

“Yup,” Bokuto chirped, finished tying his shoes and stood up straight.

"Can you give this to Kenma when you see him? It's a game I asked for."

"You can give it to him yourself," Bokuto told him, noticing Akaashi's eyebrows furrowing and his lips pursing. "Wait-that sounded rude. I meant you can come over and give it to Kenma when you see him."

Akaashi's face smooth out and he sighed, pocketing the game and crossing his arms.

"Are you suggesting that I skip practice Bokuto?"

"No! I meant afterwards! Practices are short until the start of the new school year right?” Bokuto said loudly, flailing his arms. "Unless you want to skip practice then I guess you can?"

"I'm kidding Bokuto," Akaashi announced, a small smirk playing on his lips, sighing when Bokuto let out an awkward laugh. "I'll see you later then."

"See you later,” Bokuto parroted back, a plastic smile on his face and kept at it until Akaashi vanished from his line of vision. He then took a deep breath and clutched his chest, trying to calm his rapid heartbeat. It was nice to know, even after everything, some things don’t change.

-

“So…” Kuroo trailed off, his fingers expertly mashing buttons on the controller, while Bokuto was abusing the A button.

“What?”

“You know…”

“Fuck! How do you keep winning?” Bokuto exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air and grimaced when the controller came back to hit him on the chin. “This is bullshit, it’s because you have the gamepad you keep winning.”

“No it’s just because I’m better,” Kuroo shot back, smirking at his five to zero lead. “Anyways, stop trying to change the subject.”

“All you said was so.”

“You know what I’m trying to get at,” Kuroo pressed. “School is ending and you still haven’t confessed to you know who.”

“Oho? I have no idea who you’re talking about.”

“I’m talking about A-“

“Wow, I can’t believe you’d actually say it!” Bokuto shouted, elbowing Kuroo in the side. “What a jerk, that’s fucked up.”

“Ow, that hurts,” Kuroo whined falsely, snickering at Bokuto’s aggravated face. “Was I being fucked up Kenma?”

“Don’t bring Kenma into this,” Bokuto huffed, crossing his legs. “This is between me and you.”

“Fine fine,” Kuroo agreed, waiting a couple second before opening his mouth again. “How about you Akaashi? Do you think I was being mean?”

“Please don’t rile up Bokuto,” Akaashi said, eyes trained on Kenma’s DS screen. “And please don’t shout Bokuto. We can hear you if you talk normally.”

Bokuto glared viciously at Kuroo who was unperturbed and had a haughty smile. Not only has Kuroo been more on his ass about talking to Akaashi, but he also has been making little comments in front of Akaashi and Bokuto was this close to flipping his lid.

He knows that their time together is quickly coming to an end; it’s just that the past couple of weeks put a serious strain on their friendship and it’s still in the process of being repaired. He blew his window to confess and now he was stuck in this weird limbo of finding the perfect moment to admit his feelings or whatever.

He was somewhat, a little, maybe one percent positive that Akaashi had feelings toward him. Good feelings. After all, why else would Akaashi hang out with him, and his friends so much? Well, Akaashi was friends with Kenma, so that makes sense too but still, Akaashi wouldn’t hang out with Bokuto so much if he wasn’t somewhat comfortable with their friendship and stuff, right?

Bokuto groaned because now he was getting himself confused and even more stressed out about Akaashi’s feelings and fucking Kuroo kept hitting him off the goddamn cliff.

“I hate you so much,” Bokuto whispered, scowling at the screen.

“You would love me more if you just took my advice,” Kuroo whispered back. “Just take a deep breath and say the l-word.”

“Lesbian?”

“The other l-word.”

“Lesbians?”

Bokuto heard Kenma soft huff of laughter and didn’t even have to turn to know that Kuroo was giving him the stare.

“That’s it,” Kuroo said, pausing the game and getting up to face Akaashi who was sitting on the bed. “Listen, I’m so tired of this shit and I honestly just want to get this over with. Both of you get out of my room.”

“Excuse me?” Akaashi asked, his face contorted in a bewildered expression.

“You heard me,” Kuroo said, pulling Akaashi from the bed gently and grabbing Bokuto roughly. “Out. I’ll see you guys later when you resolve this ridiculous mess. Bye.”

Kuroo pushed the two out of his room and closed the door, a locking sound could be heard and only then Bokuto’s brain finally caught up.

“Wait what? Kuroo! Bro come on! Don’t do this! I left my phone in your room!” Bokuto waited for Kuroo to reply or at least hand him his phone but the other teen did neither. “Akaashi, please try to get him to open the door.”

Akaashi sighed and pulled out his phone, dialing Kuroo’s number and pressed the phone against his ear.

“Kuroo? Can you please-” Akaashi stopped and blushed at whatever Kuroo said on the other side of the phone, promptly ending the call and avoided looking at Bokuto’s direction. “Uh, he said he’ll give you back your stuff later.”

“Why is he being such a dick?” Bokuto moaned, hitting his head on the door. “I hate you Kuroo, I hope you know that!”

“Yeah yeah, I love you too, now get out of here and get to business,” Kuroo called back from the other side of the door.

“Whatever. Let’s go Akaashi, I’ll walk you to the station.”

Bokuto sulked as he walked out of Kuroo’s house, a prominent pout on his face, and Akaashi walked a respectable distance away from him. It wasn’t until they were halfway to Bokuto’s house when the older teen stopped and realized where he was heading.

“Oh my god, I’m such an idiot. I can still walk you to the station if you want?” Bokuto asked, scratching the back of his head nervously.

“No, I figured you were just changing the location of us hanging out to your house,” Akaashi admitted, shrugging as Bokuto blinked owlishly towards him. “Unless you didn’t want me to come over today.”

“No no,” Bokuto shouted, closing the distance between them and clamped down Akaashi’s shoulder with his hands. “This is perfect!”

Akaashi quirked his eyebrow at Bokuto’s sudden excited demeanor, why is this perfect, his stare seemed to say as Bokuto immediately responded.

“Now you can help me pack up, I have so much shit to do,” Bokuto explained, letting go of Akaashi and started to walk in the direction of his house again. “Come on Akaashi, we don’t have all day.”

Akaashi didn’t linger on his feelings of disappointment as he followed Bokuto.

Thirty minutes into separating Bokuto’s clothes into take pile and a leave pile, Bokuto decided it was time for a break. It took another five minutes for Akaashi to convince Bokuto to let him get the snacks and refreshments otherwise Bokuto would get distracted and never finish; of course Bokuto reluctantly agreed that was for the best. Bokuto slowly went through his clothes, separating them accordingly and only struggling with a couple of shirts if he should take them or leave them.

“Oh, I was expecting you to get bored and stop,” Akaashi admitted as he came back into the room, a plate full of cut up fruit and water bottles in hand. “Break time.”

Bokuto cheered at that and got up from the floor, stretching his arms in the air, his back popping from staying hunched over for too long. He grabbed the plate from Akaashi and sat on his bed, watching Akaashi as he pulled Bokuto’s chair away from his desk and placed it in front of him.

“You could have just sat next to me,” Bokuto told him, popping a grape into his mouth.

“I’m fine here,” Akaashi replied, struggling to open his water bottle, frowning when he felt Bokuto’s eyes bore into him. “I got this, it’s fine.”

Bokuto’s lip twitched as he stared at Akashi who was still struggling to open the bottle, slowly eating his apple slice, the crunch of it highly satisfying.

“Okay, that’s enough,” Bokuto declared, grabbing the bottle from Akaashi’s hands and tried to open it himself. “Ok look, I got this. Don’t stare at me like that. What the fuck is wrong with this?”

Akaashi rolled his eyes and huffed as he leaned forward to grab an orange slice, Bokuto cussing as he still could not open the bottle.

“Shit, it cut me,” Bokuto gasped, peering at his now flushed hand, no blood in sight. “I’m not bleeding but I know for a fact that I was cut right now.”

“Sure Bokuto,” Akaashi mumbled, pulling back his drink and tried to open it one last time. “It’s fine, I’ll drink from yours.”

“What?” Bokuto reddened, his drink hallway to his lips. “Are you sure?”

“It’s not like you have germs or whatever,” Akaashi said, leaning forward to grab an apple slice. “Anyways, we’re almost done with your clothes. What’s next?”

“Ahh, pretty much that’s it. Like my mom also wants me to throw away my old magazines or any school stuff I don’t need anymore,” Bokuto replied, absentmindedly tapping on his bed sheet. “Now that I think about it, it’s not like I had that many clothes in the first place, plus I don’t really have that much magazines either.”

“Do you want me to go?” Akaashi questioned, his eyes focused on a blue stain on Bokuto’s bedspread.

“Do you want to go?”

“Don’t answer a question with another question Bokuto.”

“Sorry.”

Akaashi sighed heavily at that and leaned forward to grab a couple of grapes. Bokuto nervously gnawed on his bottom lip and tilted his head to stare up at his ceiling; a blanket of awkward silence enclosed the two as he tried to think of something to say. He tilted his head down and saw Akaashi, typing on his phone, a text from his mother probably, and snuck a glance at the setter’s face. His lips were pursed and his right eyebrow quirked in a quizzical fashion. Bokuto kept the smirk that was itching to show itself away as Akaashi’s lips transformed into a pout.

Adorable, he thought, cringing at that intrusive thought. Bokuto blinked twice as he zeroed in on the fallen eyelash on the edge of Akaashi’s cheekbone. Without thinking, or asking, Bokuto’s hand came up and was inches away from Akaashi’s face when the setter squinted at him.

“What are you doing?”

Bokuto didn’t answer but gave him a look that said just wait and his thumb gently pressed against his cheekbone, in hopes that the eyelash would stick to his thumb.

“Hold up, it didn’t stick,” Bokuto murmured, his left hand tenderly grabbing Akaashi’s chin to bring his face closer to him, his index finger and thumb successfully capturing the eyelash this time. “Make a wish!”

Bokuto held his index finger out for Akaashi, where the lone eyelash was waiting for him at the tip of his finger. He grinned and then faltered when he saw Akaashi’s slight glare and red cheeks.

“Ah? Did I invade your personal space too much this time?” He asked, laughing awkwardly and released his hold on Akaashi’s chin. “Sorry, I just…”

Bokuto leaned back away from Akaashi, the eyelash still on his finger and his face burned hot with embarrassment.

“It’s fine. You surprised me, that’s all,” Akaashi replied, back to his default face of indifference. He grabbed Bokuto’s hand and brought it closer to his lips, closing his eyes and then blowing softly. “And before you ask, no. I’m not going to tell you what I wished for.”

“You know me so well,” Bokuto grinned, his earlier embarrassment seeping away but small remnants still lingered.

He wiped his sweaty hands on the bed, the motion causing their shared water bottle to drop the ground, the lid not fastened right, opened and water pooled around Akaashi’s socks.

"Shit," Bokuto yelped, bending down quickly and lifting the bottle right side up before anymore liquid could come out. "I’m so sorry.”

“It’s just water Bokuto,” Akaashi said, annoyance on his face despite his words.

Bokuto quickly sat back up, regretting this decision as vertigo set in and his head began to swim. He tilted forward, trying to grab his dresser to ground him, losing balance when Akaashi suddenly grabbed onto his shoulders before he could do even more damage to himself and their surroundings. Bokuto squeezed his eyes shut, the world no longer spinning, and opened them, Akaashi’s face much closer than he imagined.

"Sorry," Bokuto muttered, his cheeks flaming up from being in such close proximity.

Akaashi did manage to stop them from colliding, but they were so close that Akaashi could smell the sweet scent of fresh fruit on Bokuto's breath.

"You've been saying that a lot today," Akaashi breathed out, forcing his self not to lick his lips. “Are you okay?”

“No. I was working too much today,” Bokuto joked, leaning forward to rest his forehead on Akaashi’s; the slight perspiration coating the younger male’s forehead didn’t go unnoticed. “Are you okay?”

“Nothing I can’t handle.”

They sat like that for a while and Bokuto swore that this was the perfect moment to say something-to do something. All he had to do was lean a little bit closer and their lips would touch, just a little bit closer and Bokuto could taste what he’s been dreaming of over the past year.

“Akaashi-” 

“Bokuto-” Akaashi murmured, tilting his head slightly, his nose brushing over Bokuto’s, the coldness of the tip caused Bokuto’s blush to deepen.

“You can go first,” Bokuto said, pulling back away from Akaashi, the other slowly opening his eyes.

“You go first,” Akaashi said, looking down and rubbing his nose with his fingers.

“Oh, uhm,” Bokuto stuttered and looked around the room for an excuse. The moment over and now he felt waves of regret flowing over him. “Are you done with the fruit? I’ll get more if you want?”

Akaashi stared up blankly, his face veiled with a blank mask.

“Maybe I should have gone first instead.”

“Huh?”

“Nothing,” Akaashi sighed, his hand now coming to rub at the junction between his neck and shoulders. “I’m good.”

Bokuto assessed Akaashi’s furrowed eyebrows and his slight frown, taking that as a sign that maybe he went too far, that Akaashi was uncomfortable with this kind of display of affection. He leaned away from Akaashi and ran his hand over his face, his eyes looking everywhere except at Akaashi.

“I, uh, need to use the bathroom real quick,” Bokuto quickly said, getting up and running to the bathroom. He entered the bathroom, slammed the door, and turned on the faucet.

He splashed cool water on his face, not caring that it went on the countertop and was soaking the collar of his shirt. The water felt soothing to his burning cheeks, which were stained with embarrassment or shame, Bokuto didn’t know nor did he want to. It’s not like he planned to make a move or whatever when he invited Akaashi over, the moment just happened, it wasn’t even that big of a deal yet here he was being over dramatic in his goddamn restroom.

Bokuto took a deep breath and stared at his reflection in the mirror, his puffed up cheeks looked ridiculous but that was fine, because that was exactly how he felt. He was getting all flustered over a goddamn forehead touch/almost kiss just proved how much of an idiot he truly was but that was fine too.

When Bokuto walked back into his room, Akaashi was standing in the middle of the room, with his phone pressed to his ear.

“Ok, I’m leaving now,” Akaashi muttered, humming and nodding along to whoever was on the other line. “Bye. Hey sorry, my mom just called and asked if I could do some errands. Is that okay?”

“Yeah, we’re finished here,” Bokuto said, immediately regretting his words when he saw Akaashi’s slight frown. “I’m gonna have to go back to Kuroo’s house tomorrow in order to get my phone back, you should come over too!”

Akaashi hummed as he mulled it over, picking up his backpack and frowning at the gross feeling of wet socks.

“I’ll see if I have time.”

Bokuto cringed at that cryptic reply, not wanting to go over today’s events and trying to figure out where he went wrong; there would be too many moments to analyze.

“Yeah…yeah, that’s totally understandable,” Bokuto said, nodding his head and moved aside so Akaashi could exit his room. “I just, just text me if you’re able to come or not?”

“Ok.”

Bokuto kept up his smile all the way to the entrance where Akaashi thanked him for having him over and left. He closed the door softly and released a loud groan; his act of being collected didn’t matter when he was alone. Now would be the time that he’d call or text Kuroo and gab about the turn of events but without his phone, all he could do was take a shower and go to sleep, praying that this didn’t haunt his dreams.

-

“You know,” Kuroo started, pausing to eat his spoonful of ice cream, “you’re kind of an idiot.”

“Gee, thanks bro,” Bokuto scowled, shoving biting a large chuck of his popsicle off, instead of eating it the normal way. “You know just the right things to make me feel better.”

“Nope, no more sympathy from me,” Kuroo said, hitting Bokuto in the cheek with his spoon a couple of times. “You’ve been dancing around this shit for years now, and I think you need to get your act together and either confess or let it go altogether.”

“What?”

Bokuto titled his head and nibbled on his ice cream, the words give up haven’t been used since the beginning of the whole mess and it was quite strange to hear them now so late in the game.

“Look, as much as you say you like Akaashi, you do realize if you don’t confess now, it’s going to get harder after you graduate.” Kuroo sighed at Bokuto’s confused stare and elaborated more. “Since you guys are still friends, there really isn’t an obligation to text every day. He’s going to be busy with his advanced classes, being captain and all that other stuff and you’re probably going to struggle with balancing out school, work, and volleyball. Honestly, you guys won’t have time to text or call everyday like you normally do. Not to mention, you’ll probably only be able to see him during breaks and holidays so as far as your friendship, it’ll probably just die out.”

Bokuto glared at him, the words ringing true in his brain but refused to accept it. Kuroo shrugged at Bokuto’s petulant glower, scraping up his remaining ice cream from the bottom of his carton.

“And let’s be honest here, Akaashi deserves better than to be strung along by your dumbass.”

“Hey! I’m not stringing him along!” Bokuto shouted, lips pouting at the unfair accusation.

“Bokuto, I know how you are, you’re so…Bokuto that it probably doesn’t even cross your mind.” Kuroo dropped his spoon in the empty carton and suddenly leaned over, mouth near Bokuto’s popsicle, and leered up at him underneath heavy lidded eyes. “Can I have a taste?”

“Sure,” Bokuto easily replied, pressing the popsicle against Kuroo’s lips, who scowled and leaned away. “What?”

“This is exactly what I’m talking about!”

“What?!” Bokuto screeched, tossing his hands in the air. “I didn’t even do anything!”

“Exactly! I, a devilishly handsome looking fellow, just flirted with you, and you didn’t even bat an eye! That’s what I meant about you being Bokuto!”

“But I know you and how you are so I didn’t think twice.”

“Okay, so if that was Akaashi, how would you react?”

Bokuto immediately flushed, his hand that wasn’t holding the ice cream covering his mouth to hide the silly grin.

“Okay, that’s different,” Bokuto mumbled, getting himself together. “Akaashi knows how I am with people, and I’m pretty sure that I act like an unfiltered idiot who has a huge ass crush around him.”

“No, you’re pretty good at hiding your stupidness,” Kuroo said, lips turning into a mean smirk, “probably cause you’re so used to it.”

“Uncalled for,” Bokuto grumbled, biting off the rest of his ice cream. “And it’s not like Akaashi shows any signs that he likes me! If anything, I’m the one being strung along! Comfort me Kuroo! Your best friend is being played with by a underclassman!”

“Oh shut up.” Kuroo tossed his spoon at Bokuto who whined in faux pain, before throwing his popsicle stick right back at him. “Stop trying to deter us from the subject at hand. You’re the older one, so you need to take the initiative and confess or else all the hard work you’ve put in these last two years is going to go to shit. Got it?”

Bokuto sighed and nodded solemnly.

-

It was one of those rare days that Bokuto decided to show up to his old volleyball club, he was just being dramatic by adding the old but seeing as he wasn’t a member anymore, the gym didn’t feel the same as those previous seasons. It was only conditioning today so he didn’t have the chance to help out, he mostly observed and had a good laugh at the younger members failing on certain exercises. He waited by the gates as Akaashi locked up, waving idiotically when the setter walked out of the school entrance to where Bokuto was.

“Ready?” Bokuto asked, his lips hurting at his too wide smile, and he knew Akaashi noticed the falseness of the smile but was relieved when Akaashi didn’t comment on it.

“It’s only to the bus stop, no need to get all gung-ho about this,” Akaashi replied, rolling his eyes.

Bokuto apologized and then made small talk as he walked beside Akaashi, trying to squish the feelings of insecurity and anxiousness of what was to come. Their shoulders occasionally bumping and hands hitting, but the other teen said nothing about Bokuto’s close proximity.

When they finally arrived at the bus stop, Bokuto opened his mouth to say something but faltered at the sight of Akaashi. The raven-haired male was slowly rubbing his hands together, his nose tinged red and he was slightly sniffling. Akaashi brought his hands up to his face and huffed on them, Bokuto’s neck hair rising from the sudden chill.

“Do you need my jacket?”

“I’m fine.”

Bokuto’s confidence weakened at Akaashi’s brusque reply, but not one to give up, continued to make conversation.

“It got cold suddenly huh?

“Mhm..”

Bokuto looked from side to side, aware that the were the only ones at the bus stop and if anything were to go south, at least no one will bear witness.

“Bokuto-”

“Akaashi-”

“Ah, you can go first since I went first last time,” Bokuto offered, stuffing his hands deep in his jacket’s pockets.

“Okay,” Akaashi said, bringing his hands away from his mouth and stared Bokuto head on. “Were you going to kiss me back in your room?”

If there was ever the moment to have the earth to open wide and swallow him whole, now would be the time. Bokuto blinked in rapid succession, opening his mouth and repeatedly closing it, stuttering for a while before awkwardly laughing loudly.

“Why didn’t you?”

Bokuto coughed slightly and bit his lip, his toes wriggling in apprehension.

“It didn’t seem like you would want it…?”

“I would.”

“Oh.”

Akaashi watched as Bokuto flushed deep red and stuttered more nonsense.

“I’m going to kiss you now, okay?” Akaashi asked, bringing his hands up slowly to hold onto the lapels of Bokuto’s jacket.

“Okay,” Bokuto squeaked out, eyes half lidded compared to Akaashi whose eyes were completely closed.

Akaashi’s lips settled tenderly against Bokuto’s, a presence so barely noticeable that if Bokuto’s nerves weren’t on high alert, it might have been missed. Bokuto waited there, eager to kiss harder, to slip his hands into Akaashi’s hair and press against him so tight that not even a slip of paper could pass between them, but he simply waited.

Bokuto’s hands twitched as Akaashi pulled him closer, Akaashi’s lips pulling away slightly before pressing even more firmly. Bokuto finally brought his hands from out of his jacket, one hovered over Akaashi’s hip and the other rested ever so softly on Akaashi’s neck.

“I’m not going to yell at you or leave,” Akaashi said as he pulled back far enough that Bokuto wasn’t staring at him cross-eyed.

“What?” Bokuto asked as his eyes focused on Akaashi’s slight blush.

“You’re touching me as if I’m going to vanish,” Akaashi replied, nudging Bokuto’s hand with his hip. “I know you know how to kiss. Why am I the one taking the lead?”

“I feel as if this is a dream,” Bokuto exhaled, his nerves still lit as he burrowed his face into Akaashi’s fluffy hair. “If I hold onto you any tighter then you’ll poof and I’ll wake up and we’ll be right where we started.”

“Oh,” Akaashi let out, a small silence taking over after that before he spoke again. “You really like me, don’t you?”

“Yes, I really do like you Akaashi.”

Akaashi slide his hand into Bokuto’s hair and tugged gently to get his full attention. Bokuto faced Akaashi, his face still red and now his hand was grossly sweaty as it stayed on Akaashi’s neck, and at that moment Bokuto wished his paid more attention in literature class so he could recite haikus and lines from famous poetry about how remarkable Akaashi looked.

“I really like you too.”

“Oh thank god,” Bokuto blurted out, his face splitting into a lopsided grin. He pulled Akaashi into him, his arms quickly entangling the setter into a bone-crushing hug. “I knew it, well I was really hoping you would but I also had a feeling that you did but I’m just gonna go with I knew it. Amazing. All my dreams have come true. I can die happy now.”

Akaashi scoffed loudly at Bokuto’s dramatic spiel but allowed him to hug in such an embarrassing fashion as the lights from the street lamps and bus stop began to turn on. When his bus finally came, Akaashi pushed against Bokuto who easily let go, a big pout on his face as Akaashi’s backed up.

“You can spend the night?” Bokuto asked hopefully.

“I have things to do,” Akaashi said, immune to Bokuto’s quivering lip and wide eyes. “I’ll text you.”

“Right! I’ll be waiting!”

That night, Bokuto received no text from Akaashi.

-

“I think Akaashi regrets kissing me.”

“Doubt it.”

“Really! I think-”

“Seriously doubt it.”

“Then why didn't he text or call me?!”

“It's only been a day.”

“But-”

“Maybe his phone broke?”

“Now, I seriously doubt that!”

“Just go to his house and see what's wrong.”

“But what if he does regret kissing me?”

“You guys need to work on your communication.”

“Gee, thanks for all the help Kuroo.”

-

It's been three days. Three long excruciating days without contact from Akaashi, he didn't go to school on the second day and now it was Sunday night and Bokuto was on his bed, thinking back on the lovely memories he shared with Akaashi.

"Koutarou," his mom said, entering his room with his phone in her hand. "You left it on the table and someone called."

Bokuto leaped from his bed and grabbed it, thanking his mom, and gently pushed her out of his room.

A missed call from Akaashi.

He released a breath of relief he didn't know he was holding and then felt sick. No contact for three days, now a sudden call out of nowhere. He paced his room, debating whether he should call now or wait until he saw him tomorrow.

Bokuto’s phone buzzed and with a positive outlook, he was really trying here, he opened the message from Akaashi. It simply asked for him to meet him at his house after Bokuto finished with school to talk about things. He gnawed at his lip as he wrote out his reply, a simple sure with a smiley face added.

-

“Thanks for coming,” Akaashi said, as he opened the door for a waiting Bokuto. “I hope it wasn’t too much of an inconvenience for you.”

“Not at all,” Bokuto replied, waving off Akaashi’s worries. “I wasn’t doing anything anyways.”

“Really? Even though there’s only two weeks of school left?” Akaashi asked, coughing a bit before continuing talking after Bokuto gave him a don’t remind me stare. “My parents aren’t home, so no need to be tense.”

“Are you sick?” Bokuto questioned, as Akaashi had another coughing fit and sniffled a little. “I can go run to the convenience store that I saw a block ago and get you some soup?”

“Don’t worry, my mom made more than enough,” Akaashi mumbled, grabbing tissues from a strategically placed spot near the entrance. “If anything, I’m tired of soup.”

“So you’ve been sick since…”

“Hmm, I was feeling it during school four days ago, but it got really bad on the second day, couldn’t even hold down water,” Akaashi informed of, making their way through the living room and family room. “I didn’t want to miss school or practice, but my parents refused for me to leave the house.”

“And your phone?” Bokuto asked.

“I left it somewhere in my fever induced haze and barely found it on Sunday. Why?”

“Oh, just wondering,” Bokuto said, feeling silly for getting so worked up. He nodded in all the right places, and asked the appropriate questions as Akaashi went over the past couple of days. He couldn’t help but feel queasy as he thought back to yesterday’s text of having a talk.

Akaashi opened the door to his room and waited for Bokuto to enter.

“Hey, I never noticed it before but your room is really bleak huh?” Bokuto laughed, scratching the underside of his chin. “It’s just, I noticed your house really doesn’t have pictures of you and it feels likes everything is purely for show you know? Like no warmth or something..”

Bokuto froze as he replayed what he said in his head, mentally cringing at how horrible that sounded.

“I know,” Akaashi said, walking into his room and sat on his bed. He leaned back on his arms, and tilted his head slightly to Bokuto, not quite meeting his eyes. “I think I told you before right? We moved here before I entered high school, dad moved up the company ladder, and even before then, any pictures of me were of accomplishments or holding awards. My mom and dad are never home, not that it matters since I’m always at friend’s house or at practice so I guess that’s why my house looks cold?”

“I didn’t say cold! Just that-” Bokuto stopped himself before he could shove his foot even further into his mouth. Akaashi coughed a few more times, and “Anyways! Should I bring a cup of water for you to drink?”

Akaashi nodded his head towards the direction of his nightstand, where three glasses with varying amounts of water were. Bokuto oohed at that and shifted his weight between his legs, feeling awkward just standing at the door.

“You can sit down,” Akaashi said, eyebrows furrowing at Bokuto’s weirdness.

“Right,” Bokuto murmured, walking over to Akaashi’s bed and gingerly sat down, butt right at the edge of the mattress closest to the door - in case something did happened and he could make a quick getaway - and smile in Akaashi’s direction. “So, I’m going to have to apologize.”

“Why?” Akaashi asked, his eyes narrowing at Bokuto.

“Well these last four days I was thinking that maybe you were regretting kissing me so I was pretty down in the dumps about that and then I was just imagining all these terrible situations where you wanted to break up with me and it was just a bad couple of days for me.”

“Break up? We’re dating?”

“W-well, yeah? Maybe? I mean, I assumed after that kiss we definitely had something going on,” Bokuto stuttered out, his hands moving all over the place. He stopped at Akaashi’s laughter, which dissolved into coughs and realized that he was being teased. “I’m serious about me stressing over this! You could have at least contacted me on social media!”

“I didn’t think a couple days of not contacting would matter all that much, but now that I think about it, my last words were I’d text you right? And after that kiss, I can see how you would jumped to conclusions.”

Bokuto huffed at the small smile that played on Akaashi’s lips, clearly enjoying the struggle that he put Bokuto through.

“I’m sorry, but you do know that it’s might be even worse in the upcoming months right?” Akaashi questioned, reaching over and grabbing a cup of water from his nightstand.

The third year followed his train of thought, grimacing at the fact that of course Akaashi would be thinking of the negative things that were to come of their relationship.

“But it’s not like that’ll ruin everything you’ve been trying to accomplish right?”

“Right,” Bokuto agreed, foot tapping against Akaashi’s floor as their conversation stalled. “Well I guess I’m relieved.”

“Huh?”

Bokuto fell back, the tips of his spikes brushing against Akaashi’s wall. He closed his eyes and felt the bed dip, eyebrow quirking in wonder.

“You,” Akaashi said, getting closer to Bokuto, “didn’t answer my question.”

“Well, that really didn’t count as a question,” Bokuto replied, bringing his right arm up to drape over his eyes in an attempt to further resist the temptation of gauging Akaashi’s reaction to his next words. “Hey Akaashi…”

“Yes Bokuto?”

“Can I kiss you?” Bokuto’s eyelashes fluttered against his forearm, he really really wanted to look at Akaashi’s face right now.

“I’m sick.”

Bokuto sat up, Akaashi was sitting with his back pressed up against the wall staring at Bokuto with a blank face.

“That wasn’t a no,” Bokuto slowly said, a lopsided grin gradually forming. “Can I kiss you?”

“I don’t know, can you?”

Bokuto snorted at Akaashi’s impudent response, leaning and gently pressed his lips against the setter’s.

“Thanks,” Bokuto said, going back to his original position of lying down with eyes closed, wondering how Akaashi was going to react.

“I can’t believe you,” Akaashi scoffed, the bed dipping as Bokuto felt the younger teen’s arm pressed up against his shoulder. “If you get sick, it’s your fault, not mine.”

Akaashi’s warm and slightly chapped lips were lowered against Bokuto’s, the pressure much more noticeable than the previous kiss. Bokuto brought his left hand up and pushed against Akaashi’s shoulder, balancing all his weight on his right arm as he leaned over to squint at Akaashi.

“You’re acting very un-Akaashi-ish today,” he stated. “Is this deliriousness from the fever?”

“Surprisingly Bokuto,” Akaashi dryly replied, face not amused at all, “I think you’re attractive and being alone with you in my room, on my bed, happens to make me want to kiss you. However, if you don’t want to-”

Bokuto laughed loudly at Akaashi’s response, his face flaming from the words and his arm now shaking from the weight of his whole body, and laid down one last time. He pulled at Akaashi’s shirt until both of Akaashi’s knees were hitting the right side of his hips and he was leaning over him with a wide range of motion. Bokuto grinned lasciviously at the setter who pursed his lips in annoyance but still took up the offer.

At the back of Bokuto’s mind he wondered if this was how their relationship would go. That there was so many things on a personal level, on an intimate level, that he didn’t know about Akaashi but now he had the opportunity the find out. It was mind-blowing to think that he came here expecting to be broken up with but now Akaashi was kissing him with such eagerness that Bokuto was reminded that he wasn’t the only one wanting this relationship.

As Akaashi bit Bokuto’s lower lip harshly, his mind went blank and any tangible thoughts that he had went out the window.

-

“I’m so glad you guys got together now you can finally stop bugging me.”

“Don’t act so tsun-tsun. You were so invested in this romance. You’re going to miss all this drama.”

“Well, knowing your dumb self, you’re probably going to have more problems in the future.”

“Don’t jinx us!”

“Just stating the facts.”

“And you?”

“Me?”

“No, the other Kuroo. Yes you!”

“Hmm, oh, the whole Kenma thing? Yeah, that’s been dealt with weeks ago. Unlike you, I have good communication skills.”

-

“Just letting you know, I only let you get that bag of chips because you’re my favorite,” Bokuto teased, paying for the basket of snacks and drinks.

“I could have bought it myself,” Kenma mumbled, messing around with his phone as Bokuto grabbed all the bags.

“Oh, no need to offer your help Kenma,” Bokuto grunted, the plastic straps digging into his wrists. “I got this all under control.”

“Ok.”

Halfway into their trek back to Kuroo’s house, Kenma took two bags away from Bokuto, one from each arm, and Bokuto frowned at the blonde setter who purposely took the lightest ones there were.

“Look a kitty!” Bokuto shouted, dropping the bags as he tiptoed towards the black cat. “I gotta take a picture of this and send it to Kuroo. It looks just like him.”

“It’s ugly,” Kenma commented, eyes carefully trained on the cat’s every move. “You’re going to scare it away. Come back.”

“Too late,” Bokuto sang as the cat gave him permission to touch it. “It loves me. I’m going to take it home.”

Kenma sighed and pulled out his phone, taking a video of Bokuto’s giddy grin and then sudden look of betrayal when the cat swiped at him. He ignored Bokuto whines and cries as he sent the video to both Akaashi and Kuroo.

“Yeah, that cat was exactly like Kuroo,” Bokuto grumbled, picking up the bags again and exchanged Kenma’s bags with two slightly heavier ones. “Don’t give me that look, you need to work out on your arms more.”

Kenma huffed but didn’t complain, verbally, and followed Bokuto to Kuroo’s house, entering the side gate and frowned when the two other teens weren’t on the porch.

“They probably went to his room,” Bokuto said, walking into the house and then stopped at the sound of a loud explosion and laughter. “Oh, actually, I think they’re in the living room.”

Bokuto peeked into the living room, the dull glow of the tv illuminating the sofa where Kuroo and Akaashi sat watching what seemed to be a low budget sci-fi movie. He heard Akaashi complain that there’s no way that someone would have blood dripping from their mouth if they were hanged and Kuroo mocked the way the characters in the movie kept throwing out death flags screeching see! when someone promised to return safely.

Bokuto grinned and teased Kenma, hey you better go over there before they take away your role of ruining movies, to which Kenma replied by simply hitting Bokuto in the leg with his bags.

Bokuto snickered as he walked into the living room, announcing his and Kenma’s presence, he couldn’t help but think, yeah, everything will be fine.

Extra:  

“Kuroo, I swear to god-” Bokuto bit back a groan as Akaashi bit his neck, softly running his tongue over the mark to help soothe it. “Just tell them that I’ll be back in two days.”

“But we can’t practice without our ace,” Kuroo whined, the sounds of shouting and whistles blowing in the background. “And you know I can’t deal with Oikawa by myself. Please come back.”

“You could have came along you know,” Bokuto said, toes curling when Akaashi traveled down his chest, nails leaving red lines in his wake. “Okay that’s it? I’m hanging up now.”

“Fine fine, say hi to Akaashi for me,” Kuroo crooned laughing before cutting the line.

“I don’t know why you had to answer,” Akaashi mumbled, his fingers tugging at Bokuto’s boxers. “We were in the middle of something.”

“I don’t know, it could have been an emergency or something,” Bokuto replied, throwing his phone on the floor and slipped one hand into Akaashi’s hair. “What? Are you jealous that I instantly picked it up knowing that it was Kuroo?”

Bokuto waggled his eyebrows at Akaashi’s affronted look of the mere suggestion that he was jealous of Kuroo.

“Well, coming second to Kuroo kind of ruins the mood,” he said, sighing and pushing away from Bokuto.

“Don’t worry,” Bokuto said, grabbing Akaashi and easily flipped them so now he was on top. “You’ll be coming in first today.”

Akaashi groaned at the terrible pun, his hand coming up to pinch the bridge of his nose while Bokuto’s body shook with laughter.

“Great, thanks for ruining the mood. Now get off,” Akaashi mumbled, as he felt Bokuto’s smile on his lips as the other began peppering him with kisses.

“Noo, I’m sorry,” Bokuto whined, not sounding sorry at all. “I promise not to make another bad pun when we’re in bed again.”

“That’s what you said last time,” Akaashi reminded him, removing his hand from his face and towards Bokuto’s shoulder, where he dug his nails into the skin with just enough pressure to get Bokuto to shiver. “You have five seconds to make it up to me.”

“Oho?”

“Three seconds left Bokuto.”

-

Akaashi was breathing heavily next to him, and Bokuto wondered if this was the right time to excuse himself to the bathroom to clean up.

“Did I ever tell you how I decided to go to Fukurodani?”

Bokuto, still hazy from his orgasm, replayed the question in his head.

“Wasn’t it because it’s a good school or something?” Bokuto replied, kicking his leg to kick off his shorts and boxers that were barely hanging on to his ankle. 

“Something like that,” Akaashi muttered. “You know, when I was in my last year of middle school, I went to see the Interhigh.”

“Really?”

“Mhm,” Akaashi hummed, his fingers rhythmically tapping Bokuto’s chest absentmindedly. “My friends wanted to go so I tagged along, not really caring or anything since I planned to not participate in volleyball anymore when I got to high school. We barely found seats that were good since it was the finals and the audience was pretty into it. There was a first year on a certain team and let me tell you, the men around me would not shut up about him.”

Bokuto quirked his eyebrow and had a feeling he knew where Akaashi was going with this but he kept his mouth shut and allowed Akaashi to keep telling his story.

“I’m there trying to watch the game but there’s all these murmurs about that one first year and then the current ace on the team messed up another spike and that’s when they did a substitution. The cheering squad started to go crazy and the first year came onto the court as if he owned it. I didn’t have any expectations for the game but I was curious since he did replace the ace. However, this guy’s first play goes terrible, and I mean awful but then there’s this sort of relief that goes around his team. The next play, the setter sets up a good ball but the spiker runs up too early although he switches to his left arm quickly and is barely able to a point. It was such dumb luck.”

Bokuto scoffed at that, opening his mouth to tell him that nothing he does is dumb luck but he feels Akaashi’s knee bump into him and takes that as a sign that he wasn’t finished talking.

“Anyways, this first year clearly has an affinity for the game and the game becomes interesting as they start to catch up to the other team. However, I’m sure it’s clear to audience as well as the other team that the first year and the setter really aren’t a great pair. The first year is way too rash and made simple mistakes and this easily influenced the setter. There were many points that could have been gained but were lost due to this. And the weirdest part about it was, during those flops, all I could think of was how I could have avoided that.”

Bokuto gave Akaashi a knowing stare, to which he ignored and cleared his throat.

“I’ll be honest, I think I’m a pretty good setter and I like to think I know how to scope out the competition well. The setter on this team did not trust this first year, mainly because it seemed like the first year didn’t use his big head to think plays out or maybe because the ace was the setter’s friend and he was upset that he was sitting out on what could be his very last match. Whatever, I really didn’t care back then. The thing that bugged me though was how this setter wasn’t using his own teammate’s full ability, the tosses were good, but just not meant for you-ah I mean the setter.”

Bokuto snorted at Akaashi’s slip up and realized how detailed his boyfriend was getting. He never really heard Akaashi talk so much about something. Usually he just highlighted the important stuff and moved on, but he seemed to enjoy talking about this moment. The fond grin that found itself on Bokuto’s face didn’t go unnoticed by Akaashi.

“Like I said,” Akaashi continued, acting like his mistake never happened, “I was just so sure of myself that I could have pulled out that spiker’s full abilities if I was on that court. The past me was a very naïve and idealistic person now that I think back on it.” Akaashi sighed loudly and sat up, reaching over Bokuto for some tissues. “Long story short, past me never intended on playing volleyball in high school, then he saw a huge idiot and somehow that idiot ignited a fire within him and now here I am.”

“Here you are,” Bokuto repeated, grinning like a fool. “I can’t believe you decided to go to Fukurodani just because of me. I feel so honored.”

“Excuse you. I didn’t choose the school just because of you,” Akaashi clarified. “You just simply happened to be at one of the schools I was interested in.”

“Mhm, whatever you say,” Bokuto hummed, getting up and walked over to where he knew Akaashi’s bathroom was. “Gonna join me?”

“I should have never inflated your ego,” Akaashi said as he rolling his eyes when he passed Bokuto. “God forbid your head get any bigger.”

“Ah, don’t worry, that’s not the only thing-”

“Don’t,” Akaashi warned.