Chapter Text
Here he was, standing in front of the radio demon’s tower like an absolute fool. He kept raising his hand to knock at the door, but then drawing his knuckles away when they brushed the smooth, wooden surface. Why was a mere sinner getting him this pent up, he was the King of Hell! He’d been around for, well, before forever, why was this so hard? Lucifer had had plenty of experience in dating and relationships! Lilith had been the only person he’d loved and been with… ever… but hey! That’s better than nothing!
Ehhhh…. No it wasn’t. He had absolutely no idea what he was doing.
“Is it a common habit for royalty to stand outside staring at other’s doors for no particular reason?” That nearly made him shit himself, but only nearly.
“Wha- no! I’m just… I needed to speak with you, I was gonna-“ Lucifer stuttered, and it wasn’t helping his case at all.
“Knock?” Alastor replied, revealing himself from… the shadows? Why was the hallway mysteriously dark now? Creepy fucker…
“Yes! I just got here.” Lucifer stood tall.
“Well then, I must’ve imagined these past five minutes admiring your buffoonery!” Alastor played a laugh track in the background, his smile rather affectionate.
Lucifer couldn’t even imagine how golden his face was probably turning, the heat had spread to every part of his body. He stared stupidly at the carpet, waiting for another scathing remark.
“Get on with it, I don’t have all day.” Alastor made a small ‘go on’ motion with his hand, rolling his eyes.
“It’s not important, never mind.” Lucifer had already blown it, what had been thinking? “You wouldn’t care.”
“It seems important enough to you.” Alastor’s voice was sickenly sweet.
“Christ…” Lucifer rubbed his temples with his left hand.
“What does he have to do with any of this?”
“Shut up.” Lucifer groaned, waving him off as he started to walk away.
“I didn’t realize you liked to lead people on so much! Perhaps I’ll have to up my game.” Alastor… purred?! Did deer do that in real life?
”What the fuck?” Lucifer jumped back, despite the Radio Demon still being at least ten feet away from him.
“What?” Alastor seemed… confused for once?
Alright, maybe he needed to get some more sleep, because he must’ve been going crazy.
“I presumed this was…” Alastor’s smile tightened as he looked away in embarrassment. “How people flirt.” He practically spat the last part, pulling his ears back.
“Oh.” Lucifer’s tensed shoulders dropped, and he just stared at the deer demon.
“Apologies.” He said curtly, whisking himself around. “I’ll stop.”
“Wait!” Lucifer said a bit too loudly, making his blush come back, but it stopped Alastor dead in his tracks.
“I thought… uh, well, you know, um-“ Lucifer couldn’t get his scrambled thoughts together.
Alastor turned his head back around and opened his door, shutting it behind him quickly.
“Al! Open up!” Lucifer dashed to the door. “Hear me out!”
The door swung back open, and a rather angry looking Alastor glared daggers at him. Lucifer sighed and teleported himself into the room.
“I’m sorry.” Lucifer held his hands up as Alastor’s eyes turned to radio dials. “I didn’t mean to, like, lead you on or whatever. I swear. I came to ask you on a date or whatever- but you know, I didn’t think you’d, uh-“
“You didn’t think I’d feel the same?” Alastor finished for him abruptly.
The king sat down on a piano bench nearby, looking at his fingers as they twiddled around.
“Why wouldn’t I?” Alastor sat next to him, folding his legs and hands neatly. “You're powerful, you challenge me constantly… And… as much as it pains me to admit, you’ve charmed me.”
“So you like me? Not my power or for anything evil?” Lucifer sounded surprised, he couldn’t help but smile idiotically.
“Unfortunately, yes.” Alastor averted eye contact, pretending to look annoyed, but his smile softened slightly.
“And you’d like to go on a date with me?” Lucifer asked hopefully.
Alastor collected himself for a moment, trying to look less flustered.
“I’d love nothing more, my Apple.” He gently brushed a hand over Lucifer’s, and then popped up out of his seat. “I have the most fabulous place in mind, I just hope you can stomach it.”
“Hey! I was the one who asked!” Lucifer grew defensive, a bit empty-minded from the tender moment.
“As fond as I am of you, your taste can be a bit tacky sometimes.” Alastor patted the shorter man on the head.
Lucifer rolled his eyes, and then tugged on the deer’s collar, pulling him down. He let out a loud radio static sound, but it was silenced when Lucifer left a small peck on the demon’s cheek. Alastor stayed in the same, bent over position, completely frozen, as the king drew away.
“Come on, Bambi, I wanna see that restaurant. I’ll have you know that I’ve seen all kinds of crazy shit, I’ve been down here longer than you.” Lucifer affirmed crossly, marching out of the room.
Alastor stood upright again, hands drawn neatly together behind his back, and he smiled warmly at Lucifer, joining him down the hallway.