Chapter Text
The morning after, Remus awoke to find Sirius still curled up against him, clutching him like a lifeline, like if he let go, Remus might disappear into the air, like smoke.
Sirius slept like the dead, completely slack in his hold but refusing to let go, even in sleep. One arm draped across Remus’s middle, the other tucked under his neck, fingers curled in the fabric of Remus’s shirt. His face was nestled just under Remus’s chin, breath warm and steady.
The events of last night recurred in Remus’s mind, how Sirius had been there for him, supported him, loved him and held him through the tough times. How he hadn’t asked too many questions or demanded too many answers. How he had simply been there. Quiet. Still. Present.
Remus let his eyes shift to the boy wrapped around him. Sirius’s lips were slightly parted, hair wild and falling over his face. He looked peaceful, soft in a way no one else ever got to see him. His grip on Remus had loosened only slightly in the night, but one of his arms was still around Remus’s waist, the other tucked tightly under his head. It was warm. Comforting. A safety Remus never really let himself feel.
Remus blinked slowly and exhaled through his nose. He would never admit it out loud, not to anyone, not even to Sirius, not yet, but last night had scared him. Not because it had been particularly bad, not in comparison to other nights. But because Sirius had seen it. All of it. And he hadn’t left.
He hadn't looked at him with pity. He hadn’t tried to stop it or fix it.
He just sat beside him in the dark. Waited. Let Remus move first.
Remus didn’t speak that night. He couldn’t. But Sirius had understood that. Had laid beside him when asked, said nothing, and stayed quiet until the silence wasn’t so loud anymore. Remus hadn’t cried, but if he had, he had no doubt Sirius would’ve just held him tighter.
Now, in the quiet stillness of early morning, it felt like that moment hadn’t really ended. Like the two of them were still there, in the safe cocoon of drawn curtains and moonlight and understanding. The only difference was the sun, slowly beginning to spill through the windows and crawl across the dorm floor.
The rest of the room was still asleep, Peter’s snores were soft and rhythmic from across the room, and James was half-hanging off his bed like he was about to crash to the floor at any moment.
Remus didn’t dare move. He didn’t want to wake Sirius. And he didn’t want this to end.
He gently pressed his forehead to Sirius’s and closed his eyes again.
“Thank you,” he whispered into the quiet. Barely audible. But real.
Sirius stirred only slightly in response, tightening his grip around Remus for just a second, then settling again. Remus smiled to himself.
He didn’t need to say anything more. Not now. Sirius already knew.
And in that bed, surrounded by the calm after the storm, Remus finally allowed himself to just be. To exist, not for others, not in performance, but for himself.
And in Sirius’s arms, that felt okay.
About one and a half hours have gone by as Remus awakes.
Time passed slowly, and Remus wasn’t quite sure how long he lay there, listening to the soft hush of early morning, the rustle of the wind outside the window, the gentle breath of Sirius, holding him.
Eventually, Sirius stirred.
It wasn’t a sudden thing. His fingers twitched first, then he let out a tiny grumble, breath catching slightly as he shifted and blinked blearily up at Remus.
“Mmm…” he hummed, voice raspy with sleep. He stretched just slightly, his arm tugging Remus closer without much thought. “S’it morning?”
Remus looked down, fondness blooming quietly in his chest. “Tis,” he said softly.
Sirius gave a small, incoherent noise and buried his face in Remus’s shoulder, eyes still closed. “Too early,” he mumbled. “You’re warm. I’m not moving.”
Remus let out the tiniest laugh, barely more than a breath. “I didn’t ask you to.”
“You alright?” he asked. His voice was quiet, careful, like he was trying not to push, but still needed to ask.
Remus hesitated for only a moment before nodding. “Better.”
Sirius nodded once, satisfied. “Good.”
There was another beat of quiet. Sirius shifted again, arm sliding up to rest over Remus’s ribs. He yawned into his shoulder.
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do when it gets like that,” Sirius murmured eventually. “But I’ll stay. Every time.”
Remus didn’t answer right away. He stared up at the ceiling for a moment, blinking slowly. The weight of Sirius’s words settled over him like a second blanket.
“I don’t always know what I need,” Remus said after a moment. “But… you helped. Just being there. That helped.”
Sirius looked at him for a long time. His eyes still held the haze of sleep, but there was something more awake behind them now. Something steady and gentle and strong. He leaned forward just slightly and pressed a soft kiss to Remus’s shoulder through his shirt.
“I’ll keep doing that then,” he said simply.
Remus nodded.
And they stayed like that. Tangled together in the warmth of their bed, the rest of the world still asleep beyond the drawn curtains. There was no rush to get up. No need to speak. No pressure to be anything other than what they were in that moment.
Sirius yawned again, heavy and deep, and let his eyes slip closed once more.
Remus watched him, watched the way he seemed to melt back into sleep with ease, still clinging to him like he was something worth holding onto.
Maybe, Remus thought, for once… he was.