Chapter Text
Winona knows she’s not a good mother. She never has been. She was on the Kelvin for most of Sam’s early childhood. She missed a lot.
She missed his first words, his first steps. She wasn’t there to take him to his first day of school. So many missed birthdays. Christmases spent with her face fixed upon a screen. On occasion, Winona would feel bad about it. But then a fuse would short, a gasket would blow… she had a job to do.
And then there was Jimmy. And George was gone.
With him went every thought of white picket fence bullshit. But the boys were still there, and they needed their mother.
So she tried. God, did she try. There’s house in Riverside she’s still making mortgage payments on to this day.
Less than a year into playing house, Winona snapped. She started packing. All the necessities were crammed into the car. Trunk stuffed, passenger seat buried, and every space not taken up by Sam or the car seat occupied by clothes, books, holos, and what might possibly be the world’s most beat up chess set.
That drive to San Francisco was the first time Winona felt like herself since George’s signal went dead.
And things were good. Most of the time. Winona worked magic on her lady’s engine, Sam became more and more sensible by the day. Jimmy… well, Jimmy is a touchy subject.
He is the smartest kid (possibly person) she’s ever met. He can out sass a Vulcan by the age of five. He likes her movies, and shares her love of machines. He’s whooping her ass in chess regularly by six. He’s a little human hurricane and she loves him.
Jimmy has a temper. He likes to leap without looking. He has a tendency to create life threatening situations out of thin air.
He looks like George.
Winona loves her sons. Both of them. But sometimes she just doesn’t like having Jimmy around at all.
And then the day comes where he’s gone. Off to experience a planet in a way he never has before. Out of sight, out of mind.
No one will ever be able to tell Winona she’s a bad mother more than that feeling of relief did.
Now, though, Jimmy’s back. He’s skinny, and fragile, and it looks like a stiff breeze might knock him out. All Winona wants is to hold him close, tell him how much she loves him and will never leave him alone again.
But after everything he’s been through, she doesn’t have the right to lie to him.
*.*
Number One has not left James’ side in seven days. That’s because he has been unconscious for seven days, and she promised to keep watch for him.
Number One is many things. Many bad things. But she is not a liar.
So when the CMO puts him under, she promises the panic in his eyes away. Jimmy is not allowed to panic. She raised him better than that.
There she sits, back ramrod straight, sight fixed on the door, and hand in his hair.
Miles beneath her feet, clean up is beginning. Families are grieving, victims are starting to heal, and the officials of the federation search for the man responsible.
Number One knows that Governor Kodos will not be found. She can still feel the snap of his bones, see the red viscous drip of his blood. His screams echo in her ear.
She regrets she did not have more time.
*.*
When Jimmy wakes up, he does not cry. He doesn’t scream. He just asks her, in a voice so scratchy that her throat aches, for her to make the Captain take them to Vulcan.
“I want Spock.”
She nods, unquestioning. “Anything else?”
“And Gaila.”
“I will inform the Captain.”
She gets up and leaves medbay without so much as a backwards glance. After three long weeks, her watch is over. She may return to duty.
*.*
When they bring Gaila aboard, she does not speak. She just climbs into bed with Jim and pulls out her PADD. When Winona goes to check on them an hour later, they’re nearing the end of The Sword in The Stone.
*.*
When they tell him they’ve entered into orbit around Vulcan, it’s the first time Pike sees the kid smile since they left him on Tarsus a year prior.
Seeing that kid being wheeled into the transporter room is almost enough to make Chris cry. Jimmy is the little shit they have spent years pulling out of the walls. Jimmy causes peace talks to turn to screaming matches. He makes Vulcans laugh.
James Kirk was never meant to be in a chair. Even temporarily.
Chris doesn’t want to let him off the ship. He wants to keep Jimmy here, where he’s safe and loved. He wants to watch him get his strength back. He wants to spend his days being annoyed by his youngest passenger again.
But Jimmy wants to go to see Spock. So Pike bottles up all the things he wants to say, and gives the order.
“Energize.”