Chapter Text
She wanted to fight.
She wanted to believe she could fight. Like Eddie said
But her body chose flight instead.
His words rang in her head, overshadowed by her gasping breaths as she ran, feet slamming against the pavement, lungs burning.
She was stuck between shame at her inability to fight and fear of the footsteps behind her.
They were just as heavy, much more unsteady, and much too close. Despite that, she didn’t dare look back.
She could still smell the man; the stench of cigarettes, stale alcohol, and something just purely rotten was ingrained in her mind.
Her mind was spiraling as she continued to run.
Buck and Eddie taught me everything they could for this moment. I should be fight, I should be-
There was a rough, angry yet unintelligible shout, accompanied by her own ragged breath. And then, before she knew it, a hand shoving her.
Her back suddenly slammed into metal with a loud, grating clang, and suddenly her entire world was tilting. For a moment, there was nothing but weightlessness and pure confusion.
Then pain.
Hard, jarring, crushing pain as she hit something sharp.
Juliana let out a sharp gasp as her body folded awkwardly.
Oh God. Where the hell am I?
Her head spun as she could barely recollect the seconds leading up to this moment where she was trapped in a blur of darkness and metal walls.
She tried to move, but she could barely wiggle. Her legs were dangling. As her chest heaved and her pulse thundered in her ears, Juliana finally realized,
She was stuck.
It took every ounce of willpower and all the breathing techniques she knew to not work herself into a panic attack. She may not have had the mind to fight rather than run, but she had enough left in her to know panicking wouldn’t get her any further than she already was.
Her heart rate eventually came down despite the pulsing pain in her body part and her brain began to put things together.
There was a sudden stench that was even more rank than the man who got her into this situation and that, coupled with the oddly angled metal walls, was what made Juliana realize where she had landed.
She tried wiggling some more in an attempt to free herself, but it was to no avail. On the flipside, despite her arms being pinned at an awkward angle and the pain from her wrist, she had just enough room for movement to reach for one hand to reach for her phone.
She fumbled desperately in her pocket as she tried to grab her phone.
Her vision blurred with tears due to both frustration and pain.
When her fingers finally closed around the device, she forced her hand up, straining in the tight space as she hit the emergency button.
“911, what’s your emergency?”
Juliana’s breath hitched.
She licked her lips, trying to force out the words, but her voice came out thin and nearly imperceptible.
“I-I need help.”
“Ma’am, can you tell me your location?”
She squeezed her eyes shut as she forced her brain to string the words together.
“I’m-I’m stuck. Trash chute-my apartment-”
“Are you injured?”
She was in no state of mind to evaluate herself. She still shook her head, even though they couldn’t see her.
“I-Idon’t know, I can’t-”
As the seconds passed, her mind began to spiral. She sucked in a shaky breath as the situation began to hit her. The walls felt too tight.
“I’m stuck,” she whispered again, tearfully.
“Stay on the line with me, ma’am. Help is on the way.”
Juliana nodded, though her grip on the phone was beginning to sleep.
Help is coming.
She held onto the thought like a lifeline as the pain in her wrist intensified and began to radiate through her forearm.
As the smell of the trash became so intense that she began to feel nauseous.
As the cold metal walls felt like they were caving in.
The moment they arrived, Eddie was the first out of the truck, eyes scanning the building as Bobby got the full rundown from dispatch.
A resident stuck in the trash chute. Female.
He had no idea that they were heading out to Juliana’s apartment complex. He was on edge the moment they turned into the complex. His heart rate spiked as the engine stopped dangerously close to Juliana’s building.
He shared a look with Buck and instantly knew they were on the same page. They hoped and prayed to everything that was good out there that it wasn’t their Jules that was stuck.
He wasted no time as Buck fell into step right beside him, focused on finding an access point for the chute. When they reached the access panel, Eddie braced himself as Buck yanked it open.
He inhaled sharply.
Juliana..
Her body was half-wedged in the tight metal space, her arms trembling as she awkwardly clung to her phone, eyes wide and glassy with adrenaline.
She looked pale and shaken, but also alive.
Relief crashed over him so hard that it hurt.
Buck let out a breath as Eddie sighed. The sight of her like this tugged dangerously on his heart strings.
“Oh, sweetheart,” he murmured, the worry bleeding into his voice clear as day.
Juliana blinked slowly, eyes glassy and unfocused, before her eyes lit up with recognition and relief flooded her.
“Oh.” Her voice was quiet, shaking with adrenaline, but her lips still managed to form something that resembled a smile. She let out a pitiful attempt at a laugh.
“This isn’t exactly how I imagined meeting the 118.”
“Yeah?” Buck let out a breath that was a half-laugh, half-sigh, “How’d you picture it?”
“Less…trash,” she giggled quietly at herself. At least she was coherent enough to recognize them and joke.
“You really know how to make an entrance, huh?” he muttered, tone both relieved and exasperated.
Eddie didn’t laugh though. He didn’t even smile. His heart was still hammering in his chest as he assessed the scene before him. The angle at which she was bent didn’t leave much room for error in the extraction. He and Buck would just have to be extra careful.
He exhaled, steading himself before kneeling down.
“We’re gonna get you out, mija,” he promised in such a determined, yet kind tone that made her want to believe him with her whole heart, “But I need you to breathe, okay?”
Juliana nodded, but her chest still heaved with big breaths. The space was just too tight. Her head was still spinning.
Buck crouched down beside Eddie, peering into the narrow opening. “How stuck do you think she is?”
“It looks like she’s wedged at the hips,” Eddie murmured, scanning her form carefully, “If we pull her wrong, she could slip even further.”
Juliana let out a self-deprecating laugh, “Maybe skipping the gym all those times wasn’t such a bad idea after all.”
Buck snorted, shaking his head with both disbelief and amusement, “Jesus, Jules.”
Eddie shot Buck a look before turning his attention back to her. “Listen to me,” he said much gentler now, “I need you to tell me what hurts the most. Can you do that for me?”
Juliana shifted slightly, wincing as a sharp jolt of pain radiated up her arm once more. It wasn’t the only pain she felt but it was the most prominent.
“Wrist,” she mumbled, “feels…bad.”
Buck cursed softly under his breath as he inched closer to get a look at it. He was no paramedic but even he could clearly see that it was broken. That, coupled with a probable concussion and guaranteed bruising, he was surprised she was even able to speak, much less joke like she had.
He stood and spotted Hen and Chimney, giving them a look that had them rushing over. She seemed stable enough at the moment, but he didn’t want to take any chances.
Eddie took stock of other possible injuries as he was forming a plan to get her out.
He spoke careful and deliberately, “Here’s what we’re gonna do. I’m gonna hold on to you,” he said, gripping just below her ribs to steady her before she had the chance to slip further. “We’ll get you out in one piece, I promise.”
Juliana tried to nod, but her vision swam. She believed him. There was nothing else she could do except put her trust in the man and his fire crew. If any other station had shown up, she’s sure she wouldn’t be half as calm as she was.
Buck and Eddie’s presence alone were enough to make her feel at ease. Them being the ones to pull her out was just an added luxury that she was lucky to have.
She barely registered Buck’s hand on her knee that kept her from tipping further.
“Okay, if we brace her from the sides, she won’t slip.”
Eddie nodded as he adjusted his position. “We’re gonna lift you out now, Juli. You with me?”
Juliana blinked blearily and nodded again, adrenaline leaking out of her by the second.
Her breath hitched as Eddie tightened his grip. It was firm, yet gentle. He used one arm to support her back and the other to brace her lower body before starting the countdown.
“Alright Buck. On three.”
Juliana tensed, suddenly not feeling ready despite wanting to get out of there so desperately.
“One.”
“Wait-”
“Two.”
“Guys–”
“Three.”
Pain flared up her side as she pulled, a sharp pressure digging into her hips and she let out a whimper despite herself.
She was free.
Juliana immediately collapsed forward, hands gripping onto the first thing in reach, which happened to be Eddie’s turnout jacket. He instantly caught her. She barely registered another hand on her, checking for injuries as Eddie brushed her hair back to get a better look at her face.
“Hey, hey, breath, baby, breath,” His voice was soft but his hands were trembling. If anyone noticed the pet name, they chose to ignore it. If she was in any other state, Juliana would’ve felt embarrassed.
But all she could do was try and follow his command. She tried, she really did. But the second she felt the open air again, her brain decided to finally catch up with her and the terror that led up to the moment. Coupled with the pain she was in, there wasn’t much she could do to stop her body from going limp.
“Easy,” Buck soothed from
Juliana sighed into his shoulder as someone continued checking her body for injuries.
It wasn’t a sigh of relief. Or comfort. Just complete and utter exhaustion.
Her body felt like jello and her brain like static. For the first time since she called for help, she didn’t feel capable of moving on her own.
Thankfully, Eddie kept an arm around her and held her upright while Hen did a full assessment of her injuries ………..
“Jules, you still with us?”
….
“Tired,” she muttered weakly.
“I know, I know, but we’ve gotta get you to a hospital,” Buck said, a newfound sense of urgency in his tone.
If Juliana had the energy, she’d groan.
At this point, she
As soon as they arrived at the hospital, Juliana was immediately reminded of why she hated hospitals so much.
The sterile smell, sickly patients, groans of agony and suffering did nothing to comfort her. If she didn’t have a grossly broken wrist, she might’ve been able to convince herself that she didn’t even need to be there.
Unfortunately that wasn’t the case. And even if it were, Eddie and Buck definitely wouldn’t have allowed it, she just knows it even with her confused and concussed brain.
Her brain couldn’t fully process their actions towards her in the past hour and what it all meant. She truly didn’t have the capacity. It was just too much.
She was somehow coherent in the ambulance, coherent enough to recount what had happened. And it only served to make her feel more embarrassed and frustrated with herself and that feeling was multiplied tenfold when she had to retell that same story at the hospital when the police arrived and Buck and Eddie were still there.
She didn’t understand why they insisted on staying with her. Them getting her out of the chute was more than enough. But they promised it was alright. They were reaching the end of their shift anyways so Bobby allowed it. Juliana didn’t have enough energy to protest it.
Minute by minute the pair could see the exhaustion set in. Eddie wasn’t sure why it hadn’t come sooner, but with the shame in her voice when revealing what had happened, he would wager it had something to do with her pride.
Seeing how tired she looked, he quickly decided on the next order of business.
He knows her well enough by now to know what she must be feeling and he could see it clear as day.
He hated having to depend on other people too, but whereas it took a lot of trial and error for him to learn that it was okay to depend on others, Juliana would have a much easier time learning that. Eddie would make sure of it.
He was going to do everything in his power to make her understand that it’s okay to let go of that independent mindset a bit.
Which led to the current squabble.
“You’re coming home with us,” Eddie declared firmly, to which Juliana instantly protested.
“What? No I’m not,” she replied, trying to hide her shock. They had been hovering for a while but this had caught her completely off guard.
“Yeah, you are,” Buck agreed with his partner, tone on the edge of concern
“What for? I can still function with a broken wrist,” she insisted
“Sure you can, if you have all the patience and time in the world to let a five minute task become a 30 minute one. Plus it's more than just your wrist. A bruised hip is no joke,” Buck informed.
“I feel fine fine-” she was interrupted by Buck.
“Not to mention, you were attacked. Do you really want to go back to your apartment after that?” he asked, disbelieving of her protests
“I’m sure they’ll catch him soon enough,” she countered weakly. She didn’t feel too confident in that. If she was being honest, she really didn’t want to go back to her apartment at all. But she didn’t want to impose more than she already had.
“And you actually want to go back before that happens? He could have killed you!” Buck asked incredulously. Eddie shot him a sharp look, silently telling him to tone it down.
“How comforting Buck,” she attempted to deadpan, but there was a subtle wobble in her voice she hoped they didn’t pick up on, “But I do. There’s no reason for me to put you two out over this. I’m fine.”
Buck sighed and rubbed his face, “I’m sorry, but come on. You were just attacked. You don't just brush that off and go back like nothing happened. And you’re not putting us out.”
Buck truly wanted nothing more than to help the girl he’s come to care so much for and feel so protective over, but Juliana wasn’t having it and he was struggling to understand why. Why she was continuing to put on a brave front.
Something he’d imagine to be quite terrifying and traumatic just happened to the girl and she still insisted on acting like she was fine. His words unfortunately didn’t have the effect he was hoping for.
“I’m fine! It happened and it’s over! I just-I just need to go home, okay,” Juliana wished she didn’t sound so defensive but she couldn’t help it. She really wanted them to leave her be.
“Juliana,” Eddie spoke softer than his partner, “You don’t have to pretend with us.”
Juliana’s eyes widened and she opened her mouth to speak again, but Eddie didn’t give her time to get anything out. He understood why she felt so strongly, unlike Buck. But being alone in a time like this is a mistake he’s made before and he’s not going to let her make the same one.
“I know you probably feel the need to get through this alone. Maybe it’s what you’re used to. I don’t know. But you don’t have to do that anymore. We’re here now.”
She clenches her jaw in effort to keep herself together but she feels her resolve start to slip. She can’t even look at them anymore. Her hands gripped the hospital bedding in an attempt to ground herself.
There was a part of her that wished, just for a second, that they’d stop asking and just make the decision for her.
“Just let us help,” Buck pleaded with him, “It’s okay to need help sometimes. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“I’m not some helpless little kid,” her voice cracked. She wanted to be angrier with them but their offer was just so tempting. There was a part of her, larger than she’d like to admit, that wanted to stay with them more than anything. But there was still a seed of doubt within her.
“No one said you were,” Eddie assured cautiously, “We get it. You’re scared. And that’s okay. You don’t have to be alone with it.”
But I was alone with it. was what she wanted so desperately to scream at them. But she knew better. It wasn’t their fault she was there. It was hers. They even taught her how to defend herself and she let all of their time and energy spent go to waste.
Her vision began to blur. She had been trying her damndest to keep it together but she just couldn’t anymore. She didn’t want to cry in front of them. She didn’t want to admit how much she wanted to go with them. Because once she let herself be taken care of, even just this once, there would be no more pretending. She never knew how to ask for comfort, but if one of them offered it, she wasn’t sure she’d be able to say no at this point.
No more pushing things down and acting like everything was okay. That she was fine.
But it was clear to her that Eddie and Buck weren’t leaving this alone. She wasn’t even sure if she wanted them to.
Her chest tightened as she shook her head. She swallowed the wave of emotions and spoke, barely audible.
“I can’t.”
“Sweetheart, you can,” he affirmed gently but resolute.
Her breath hitched. She wasn’t sure if it was the term of endearment or the way he just sounded so damn sure of it, but his words caused the first tear to slip.
“You don't have anything to prove to us.”
“We want you to come home with us. You get that, right?” Buck said, trying not to let his emotions get the best of him.
It was obvious to him that there were things in her life that made her so reluctant to accept having to depend on others and the thought of that saddened him.
Juliana blinked rapidly, wiping her eyes. “I-I don’t want to be a burden.”
Buck let out a pained laugh like he couldn’t believe she was even saying that.
“Jules, you already live in our minds rent free,” he confessed, not caring how silly it sounded, “You might as well live in our space too. It's not forever. We just want you safe.”
She blushed and laughed weakly at that, trying not to focus on the implication of the words. There was only one other thing.
“What about Chris?”
“He’s with Shannon for the next few days,” Eddie replied. He then crouched down in front of her and his voice dropped to something warmer and softer, something that pulled at something deep inside of her.
“Just let us take care of you, Juliana. We’re only asking for one night. That’s it.”
She squeezed her eyes shut as she tried to get her mind straight.
This wasn’t a battle she was going to win. And deep inside, she didn’t want to. Would it be so bad to give in? Just for one night?
So finally, instead of fighting it and pretending she could handle it all, she nodded.
It was small and barely noticeable, but it didn’t go unnoticed by either man. Immediately and without her even realizing what was happening, Buck pulled her into a hug.
It wasn’t tight or smothering, but it was just enough for her to feel his warmth. To feel the steady heartbeat in his chest. Eddie’s hand came to her back, warm and solid, as though to ground her in place.
It took all her willpower to not completely break down on the spot. She couldn’t help the select few tears that slipped through, but she quickly wiped them away. She needed to keep it together for a bit longer.
“It’s okay Jules.”
“You’re gonna be okay.”