Chapter Text
“Hey, Sybok, have you seen the kids?”
“I enjoy that you call them kids, considering I’m nearly ten years your senior.” Sybok looks up and frowns. “What’s wrong?”
Sam chews his lip, tucking his comm away into the pocket of his jeans.
“Mommy just sent me a message,” he says carefully. “The Farragut will be in orbit in ten days. Jim has the option of joining the crew again— but if he doesn’t go with them, it’s another three years planetside.”
Sybok arches an eyebrow.
“Jim is not meant to be planetside,” he says after a moment.
“What, has he mentioned something?”
The Vulcan shakes his head.
“He’s become restless since regaining his strength,” he explains. “The trip to Vulcana Regar was an attempt to assuage his wandering tendencies.”
“He won’t be happy to be separated from Spock,” Sam says. “I don’t think Spock’ll be too happy, either.”
“You’re correct.”
“But he won’t want to stay planetside any longer.” Sam frowns. “But he won’t want to leave, either.”
Sybok sighs.
“He will have to decide for himself. That is the only way this can be resolved.”
“... This is gonna suck.”
“Oh, yeah.”
*.*
Jim sits quietly, pressed against Spock’s side. Gaila’s out at T’Pring’s again, so it’s only the pair of them.
Jim hasn’t looked so somber in the entire time since Sam beamed down. His fingers play across the inside of Spock’s wrist and palm and whoa, Sam was not ready to see that.
“I miss the ship,” he admits quietly, looking at Spock. “Sorry.”
“Do not apologize. We both knew you could not remain here forever.” Spock tilts his head. “Captain Pike has likely become complacent without your antagonistic tendencies.”
Sam never thought he’d hear a Vulcan try and lighten the mood.
Jim snorts.
“Antagonistic tendencies… did you just insult me?”
“If you choose to read my statement as such, I cannot stop you,” Spock says simply. “You must return home eventually. I am sure your mother would like to see you well.”
“... Probably.” Jim looks at Sam. “Are you coming, too?”
Sam shakes his head.
“If you return to the Farragut , I’m going to take Gaila back to Earth,” Sam says. “Then I’m heading back to school— the travel time from Earth to Beta III would put me back on the planet a week before school.”
“Oh.” Jim sighs. “Okay. Tell Mommy I’m coming.”
“You sure?”
Jim looks at Spock. Spock seems calm to Sam, but it’s obvious something isn’t right, judging by the face Jim makes.
“Yeah.”
Sam nods.
“Alright. I’ll tell Mommy.”
Jim doesn’t answer, curling into Spock and closing his eyes. Sybok tugs at Sam’s arm, hand gentle against his bare elbow, carefully leading him away from their brothers.
“This is going to suck,” Sam mutters once they’re out of earshot. “This is really gonna suck.”
“You already said that, Sam.”
“Oh, maybe I should reiterate— this is really, really going to suck.” Sam runs a hand through his honey hair. “I’ve never seen Jim lovesick— do you even know what that might mean? People are gonna die , Sybok, all because the brat had to choose between his boyfriend and space .”
“I doubt Jim will actually commit murder.”
“It won’t be on purpose— it’ll be an accident , and that will be worse .”
Sybok sighs.
“You have a gift for hyperbole, Sam. Everything will be fine.”
Yeah. Sure it will.
*.*
After the initial melancholy, Jim seems to be fine. He smiles brightly and laughs, poking fun at Stonn’s taciturn persona and tugging at Sybok’s wispy beard.
And then, it’s the night before departure— the last movie night on Vulcan.
At least, that’s what Sam and Sybok stumble into.
The last ten minutes of Straight Outta Compton are on the holoplayer, which catches Sybok by surprise.
“What are you watching?” he asks, staring at the screen curiously.
“We can’t tell you,” Jim informs him, shoving a handful of berries into his mouth.
Sybok arches an eyebrow.
“Why not?”
“We don’t talk about Film Club.”
Sybok’s head whips around to Sam who nods serenely. “It’s the first rule.”
“That is a reference,” T’Pring informs the room. “Jim is fond of them.”
“I don’t recognize it, though,” Gaila says. “What’s the movie?”
Jim pauses, mouth open mid-chew.
“Have— have I not shown you guys Fight Club ?”
Blank stares, all around. He shakes his head disbelievingly.
“Oh, wow, how did I skip over that very important moment of cinematic history?” He drags the holoplayer towards him and flicks to the menu screen. “T’Pring, I think you’ll like this one— Brad Pitt’s in it again.”
“He is pleasing,” T’Pring agrees, eyes sliding half-shut. “I will accept a viewing of this film.”
Jim grins.
“You’re the best— Sybok, sit down, you need to watch this. Sam, will you stick around?”
Sam thinks about it. Fight Club was one of those movies Jim used to play on loop— he knows every line. They echo through his dreams.
But, he’s probably not going to see Jim again for a very long time.
“Yeah, fine.” He takes the seat next to Sybok. “One more time won’t hurt.”
“This movie’s too good for just one more time, you heathen.”
Sam rolls his eyes but doesn’t comment, because the movie’s on. You don’t talk when Jim’s watching movies.
That’s rule number three of Film Club.
*.*
The cap is gone when Jim wakes up the next morning. It’s been there so long Jim almost doesn’t recognize the feeling of Spock’s thoughts intermingling with his own.
They cling, a mixture of please do not go and I will miss you .
“James.”
Jim looks up. Spock’s eyes are sorrowful, like he doesn’t really want Jim to know exactly how poorly he’s taking this.
“I will return again, Spock,” Jim whispers in Vulcan, one hand reaching up to brush an even lock of hair back behind his ear. He’s going to miss Spock’s bed head— the moment of imperfection makes waking up too hot in the mornings squished between a sweaty Orion and a stiff Vulcan worth it.
“I know.” That does not make parting with you any easier .
“I am sorry.”
“Do not be. I know where you belong.”
“With you by my side.”
“Perhaps one day.”
Jim can see it already— acting as Chief Engineer or Chief Science Officer on a Starfleet ship, ferrying Ambassador Spock from planet to planet in an effort to bring peace to the galaxy.
Yeah. That’s a nice thought.
Spock seems to think so, too. Jim feels the warmth of his thoughts all the way to his toes.
He kisses him.
Surprise floods through the link, pleased and confused and what-the-hell all at once.
Jim pulls back, just to get a look at his face.
Spock blinks owlishly down at him. There’s a green blush forming across the bridge of his nose and the tips of his ears.
He’s adorable.
“James,” he murmurs. “This is not perhaps the best decision. You recall I am bonded—”
Seriously? Jim shakes his head.
“Whoever you’re bonded to isn’t going to mind, Spock, I’m sure of it,” he says. “I mean, you say that they haven’t shown up yet, right? It isn’t so surprising that you experiment with other people if whoever it is you’re bonded with can’t be bothered to stop by and say hello.”
If only he knew.
“Vulcans do not… experiment .”
“You guys are scientists, aren’t you?” Jim grins. “You experiment all the time.”
Spock opens his mouth to answer. Jim kisses him again, long enough that he sees spots when he pulls back to breathe.
“... Just, let it go, okay?” Jim says softly, bowing his head so he can press his nose into a long, green neck. “Let me have this. I won’t see you again for a long time.”
Spock closes his mouth.
“Very well, Jim,” he agrees. “I will… ‘let it go’.”
Gaila pops her head up from behind Jim.
“ Can’t hold it back anymore !”
Jim groans.
“I should never have played you Frozen ,” he grunts, sitting up.
Gaila grins.
“Yeah, well, it’s a good song.”
“It’s an irritating song— how long have you been awake, anyway?”
“Only like, a minute.” She’s lying, Jim knows. She probably heard the whole thing. “Come on, let’s go get breakfast. Last day of the veggie fair for you, brother.”
Jim makes a noise that shouldn’t be heard outside of an adult holofilm.
“Oh my God, I want a cheeseburger so bad it isn’t even funny , Gaila,” he says as he gets to his feet. “Spock, come on— last day on Vulcan, and all that jazz, right?”
Spock stares, then nods.
“I will be out shortly,” he agrees. “James?”
“Yes?”
“I did not mind your… experiment.”
Jim’s mind has always had similar qualities to a star— at least, that is what Spock has always observed. Every grin, every joke, every clumsy attempt at cultural exchange draws Spock to him, warms him. But at this moment, with that silly grin and overflow of happiness, he outshines even Vulcan’s sun.
No, Spock does not mind nearly as much as he should.