Chapter Text
1 year seems long until you spend it with someone who cares about you and your well-being.
About 15 months of living with someone who accidentally changed your life back in high school
It had been even longer since Rui Kamishiro fell in love with his current housemate, Tsukasa Tenma.
Rui had never made any moves on him, goodness no. After all, if Tsukasa rejected him, it would be extraordinarily awkward, being housemates and all. They can't truly avoid each other. Nene suggested that the two's current situation was best comparable to cohabitation but both denied it, due to the lack of sexual intimacy. She only raised her eyebrow at them
Their relationship didn't feel like what Nene compared it to, to Rui, at least. He felt that their relationship was akin to that of a pair of binary stars. Two stars, bound to orbit one another.
Tsukasa kept Rui from being alone, and Rui made sure that Tsukasa had someone to take care of him when he refused or forgot to. They stayed close, practically orbiting each other, but too close, and everything could crumble around him.
Despite the fact that it could ruin their friendship, Rui wanted to get closer. As selfish as it was, he wanted closer than he should be. After all, they're friends. It is a hard reality to accept until Tsukasa comes home, then that worry could melt away.
That day was a frigid winter one, snow falling gently outside the window. The whole house felt very… cold. Even beyond temperature, the whole mood just felt sad and empty. It was roughly 7:40 pm, quite a bit late for Tsukasa, but Rui understood, bad weather and all. The sun had long set, making the white snow seemingly float across the dark blue sky.
Dinner was kept warm so that the two could eat together like usual and Rui had already caught up on his work, so all he could really do was wait for Tsukasa to come home. Finally the sound he had waited for hit his ears, the sound of keys jingling around in the key hole of the door. It wasn't Rui's favorite sound but it meant that Tsukasa was home. Home with him.
“Rui! Your radiant and stunning actor is back home!!” the blonde shouted as if his housemate wasn't, at most, ten feet away.
“Tsukasa-kun!” That stupid honorific. Rui had been using it all the time with Tsukasa back in highschool, but it practically became an… affectionate pet name, if you could even call it a pet name. You’d think that being friends as long as they have, moreso housemates in America, that he’d finally drop the honorific, but he never did. “You're a bit late today, huh?”
The actor huffed while setting his things down. Rui was in it for a long rant about the day, and he knew it. He tried to pay attention to what Tsukasa was talking about, he really did, but from the way that Tsukasa's voice inflected when he was tired to resisting the urge to wipe the little bit of food off his cheek… With all of that and something a certain someone had told him earlier, this was quite the test of will.
“Hey. Rui. Are you alright? I asked you something.”
“Oh, uhm, sorry. I was thinking about something that Mizu-chan said to me earlier. She's almost always awake during the day here due to the time zone differences.” Surprisingly, that wasn't a lie. She did call him, and also told him something that repeated so much in his head, it gave him a headache.
“Ah, Mizuki! I'm assuming you got back in touch with her? How is she?” Tsukasa knew that Rui had dropped his phone just a bit too hard one day and had finally bothered to reinstall the apps that he had, including Nightcord, which was his only form of contact with Mizuki. They still laugh about it to this day.
Now what Mizuki said would be more nerve-inducing than hilarious. Rui told her about his interesting living situation only to hear “you should finally confess to him. If you still have that crush, that is.” Of course he still did. It'd be stupid to just lose all feelings he had the moment he moved in, but he didn’t want to confess, out of fear.
All he got was a disappointed look before she mentioned that she was engaged to someone she called “Enanan,” either a screen name or a pet name, was Rui's guess. In the midst of that conversation, she mumbled something about finding some way to get the bouquet to America, whether he liked it or not.
Rui was going to pretend that she had never said that, for now at least. He wanted to ignore his infatuation at this current moment. “She's doing very well! Plenty changed since I had last talked to her. In fact, she recently got engaged to someone she called Enanan!”
“That's fantastic news! Shame we can't go attend it. I haven't seen Mizuki in quite some time. That name does sound familiar though…” That's right… The last time Rui saw either of them interact was their graduation.
“Fortunately for you, she's determined to find a way to get the bouquet to me.” Tsukasa stopped eating suddenly, and started staring directly at Rui like he just cloned himself. Ok yeah maybe he shouldn't have said that.
“... Is she trying to get you married?” Tsukasa sat in silence for a moment. “Or together with someone? No offense, though.”
Rui took no offense, but Tsukasa didn't seem to feel the same about his own comment. In fact, he looked extremely hurt. God, now he had to lie, for Tsukasa's sake. “No, of course not. She simply knows that I like flowers.”
Tsukasa's face visibly brightened at that response, a smile returning to his face. “I didn't know you liked flowers! If I had known that, I would have told you about this botanical garden I passed by sooner! I do believe that there was a Japanese garden! Maybe you can see how good it actually is…” And he was off once more. At least that problem was quickly avoided.
Much later, the two started a strange American movie. They initially started watching them as an odd, backwards way to help Tsukasa learn more authentic conversational English that was not taught at Kamiyama High, but it slowly became a tradition. In fact, many people thought that English was his first language whenever he tries to make sure that his accent is less prominent. Rui was frankly quite proud of all the improvement.
He needed to stop stalling with random bursts of nostalgia about when they first moved in. After all, he had been stalling for years. It's time to bite the bullet. It's time to tell him. Tell him everything from the bottom of his heart.
“Hey, Tsukasa-kun? Can I ask you something? You don't have to answer if you don't want to.” Rui asked, lifting his head from Tsukasa's lap.
Tsukasa quickly paused the movie so that they could talk without the noise from it as a distraction. “Of course, Rui! You can ask me anything! Unless it involves bugs… But other than that! Anything!” He said with a bright smile on his face. His smile and positivity… God, it's extremely contagious, carrying a soft, warm feeling with it.
Butterflies exploded in Rui’s stomach. He hadn't even said anything, but the sheer nerves were enough for him. “So, do you remember how earlier I said that I like flowers?”
“Mhmm.”
“And that you said that you didn't know that I liked flowers?”
“Yes? I'm almost scared to ask where this is going.”
“I don't think I really told you much about myself, unlike you. Is there anything else you want to know about me?”
Tsukasa blinked for a few moments, then finally responded with a big smile. “Well, what do you want me to know about you?”
…
Eh, close enough. “Well, there is someone that Mizuki is trying to get me with.” Rui informed his housemate, now sitting up completely
“Ah, I see! I wish you the best of luck!” Tsukasa's smile shook a bit too much to just be tired muscles.
“He's very nice.”
“Oh, your date is a fellow man! Interesting!” His smile was becoming more and more strained, and more like a pained grin then anything else.
“He's very pretty too.” Rui cooed, now looking directly at Tsukasa. “He has short blonde hair that fades into a beautiful pinkish-red color.” He started caressing the other's hair. “His eyes almost look like small sunsets. His skin is a bit tan and covered in freckles.” Rui stopped running his hands through Tsukasa's hair and started rubbing his knuckles. “He's about 6 inches shorter than me, too.”
Tsukasa's near-grimace vanished, with a confused but slightly shaken look taking its place.
“And he's sitting right next to me, after pausing the corny American movie we were watching so that he could hear me.” Everything was pointing to it being Tsukasa, but he might as well confirm so that he had no doubt. “His name is Tsukasa Tenma.”
The actor stared at Rui for a bit, trying to collect his thoughts, and eventually whispers just audible enough for Rui to hear. “How long did you like him?”
“I've liked him since high school, when he went out of his way to convince me just to rejoin his troupe.”
Tsukasa got closer to Rui. Just like what he wanted. Closer. “Can I tell you about someone Saki wanted me to confess to?” His voice would have been completely inaudible if he wasn't so close. Rui couldn't even force words out, scared to break this sacred vulnerability between the two, only nodding.
“Well, he's tall and has purple hair that goes down a bit past his shoulder blades with two streaks of blue that never cease to fascinate me. He loves to build so many amazing robots and cares for me when I'm too stubborn to do it myself. His voice sounds like the sweetest thing ever and his name sounds so beautiful I just want to keep saying it over and over. Rui Kamishiro, Rui, Rui, Rui. I really liked him back in high school.”
Rui Kamishiro. He never considered himself an emotional person, but right now, he just wanted to cry. Not that he was upset, far from it. He was ecstatic, after all, Tsukasa Tenma liked him! Well, he liked him in highschool, but liked him nonetheless! He felt so emotional that he just wanted to tell Tsukasa everything. What he was thinking, what he was scared of, what kind of future he wanted with him…
“I first wanted to tell him back at graduation, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I couldn't then, and I couldn't when we disbanded… I kinda thought I would get over him- no, you, but I never did. So I guess what I want to say is-” The star was cut off by Rui covering his mouth. Tsukasa's face gave off a look of ‘what was that for?!’
Rui just looked down and said “I'm sorry… I can't bring myself to hear it. You can call me whatever you want, a freak, a weirdo, anything, you could tell me that you hate me but please don't leave me…”
The inventor was starting to shake quite a bit. To think this is what he wanted back in high school… “I love you… I-I love you even when I try not to. Everything you've done for me, asking me to move in with you, eating dinner together, inviting me to places even if we get weird looks… I… I love you more than you understand…” Everything Rui was thinking of was spilling out his mouth without a second thought. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.
Any affirmations of his love that Tsukasa desperately yelled out fell on deaf ears, all sounds muffled by Rui's now-sobbing. Everything Rui had felt since the troupe disbanded to now was hitting Tsukasa all at once, grief, anxiety, joy, relief… everything. All of the nights spent alone, cutting himself to an unrecognizable degree… The actor's first instinct was just to hold Rui. He normally asks if Rui's ok with it, but this time it seemed urgent. Make sure Rui knew he was safe in Tsukasa’s arms. It… hurts. Seeing the person he loves too scared to hear what they've wanted to hear from him for years.
The moment Rui calmed back down was awkward to say the least. Someone who kept a mature and self-sufficient front like Rui being seen curled up in Tsukasa's arms with red and swollen eyes was a different sight for both.
“Ah- I'm sorry, Tsukasa-kun, I didn't mean to cry all over your shirt…” Rui apologized, not looking at Tsukasa, or leaving his arms.
The star stroked the inventor's hair in an attempt to comfort him and keep him from apologizing about everything under the sun. “Shh… shh, you're perfectly fine. I'm not going to just up and leave you. You can cry all over me and my shirts as much as you need.”
Tears were still streaming down the inventor's eyes, “But Tsukasa-ku-”
“Ah! I'm not done yet. I promise what I was going to say earlier wasn't bad. It's ok to cry and be scared, but this is nothing to be scared of. But first, I need you to answer a question for me. Do you still like me even after all that?”
“Yes, I still like you. I would say something but I've done enough speaking my mind…”
“Don't worry, you will be in a minute, just let me talk. I have wanted to tell you this for such a long time… Rui Kamishiro, I love you. I never want to leave you, and if anyone wants to try to take me away from you, they'll have to take me away kicking and screaming.”
“But I was almost convinced that you just wanted to be friends…!”
Tsukasa tilted Rui's head to look at him. “Rui. Listen to yourself. I asked you specifically to move in with me and we have gotten so many allegations of dating due to the sheer domesticality of our relationship and I never complained. This is because I love you.”
Everything felt so surreal. Rui loved Tsukasa. Tsukasa loved Rui. “Tsukasa-kun, I love you. I love you so much. I wish I told you years ago, but I don't know if we'd still be here if either of us said anything. Would we still be in Shibuya? Would you follow your dream of being a star? Would you still love me back then?”
“Rui, shhh… don't keep thinking about all that. Right now, we're here. You and me. Living in America, following our dreams.”
“Ah… I… Would you ever want to marry me?”
“WOAH THERE, neither of us asked the first big question!”
“Oh, uhm, Tsukasa-kun. Will you go out on a date with me?”
“Pff- Hahahahahah! Hah, Of course, my dearest director.”