Chapter Text
Trying to block out all the loud noises, Riz covered both of his ears as he walked back into the arcade. His attempt didn’t achieve much as he still felt like his body was revolting against him, like he wanted to throw up. His head felt light as he turned the corner and saw both of his boyfriends enjoying themselves. His vision blurred from the tears that began to form in his eyes. The pain started to grow unbearable.
He wanted to be with them. They would make him feel better. They always do.
While Legoshi enjoyed seeing Tem get so enthusiastic about the game, he couldn't help but feel like something was wrong.
And then he heard it —the sound cut through the crowd of loud noises, followed by a thud that could be heard not too far behind them. Looking back, his eyes went wide, shaking Tem to grab his attention.
On the ground, Riz curled into a ball, his hands over his ears, his eyes clenched and tears falling down his cheeks. Both abandoning the game, they quickly ran over to their partner. Others around looked at the bear in shock and concern.
Riz tried his best to keep it from showing, but the migraine was again too much for the grizzly. His whole body was screaming out in pain. Just lying on this rough carpet made his skin crawl
Even with all of this, he felt two sets of hands gently touch him, one bigger and one smaller. He could hear his name being called, his two boyfriends trying to help him. But in that moment, all Riz could feel was disgust for himself. How could he be regarded as such a strong carnivore if he were reduced to such a state? Just from some lights and sounds? Why did he keep messing things up for his boyfriends? They don't deserve to be bogged down by him.
Riz had a hard time making out what was being said, but he could hear both Legoshi and Tem planning. A moment later, he felt Legoshi’s hands leave him, most likely to get some help.
Riz suddenly felt one of Tem’s hands leave, but then was soon replaced by something cold against his forehead. After feeling it move, Riz could tell it was a cup of ice water.
To say Tem was worried was an understatement; it's not often you see someone you see as strong and sturdy collapse in such a way. Even as he tried his best to use the ice water in his hands to bring some sort of relief to Riz, he couldn’t help but feel frustrated that Riz was going through something like this.
What was worse was the stares. Many herbivores that were around had scattered, the few curious ones peaking around machines like a bomb was being dismantled and could explode at any moment. To see someone clearly suffering and only think about themselves disgusted him.
Trying to be gentle, Tem slowly slid the melting cup of ice to a different part of his head, hoping to relieve some of the pain there. Even though he was barely touching the bear, he could feel Riz’s body jerk and pull away from his touch as if it were fire.
The frustration with his helplessness only grew, as even though the blaring arcade machines could hear their murmurs.
“Do you think he is gonna go feral?”
“Does that guy not realize how screwed he is if that monster decides to attack?”
“We should go before we become their next victim.”
All the while, Tem could only try to comfort Riz with a measly cup of ice. At least with Riz covering his ears, it made it harder for him to hear any of their disgusting drawl.
Tem just grit his teeth as he fought back tears of frustration. He could only bring himself to mumble as he didn't want to be heard. “I wish you didn't have to take those stupid pills, it's not fair…”
—
Propping his head up on his hands, Jack leaned forward over the table and teased, “You know I would have never taken you for the sweet tooth.”
Bill scoffed and turned away a bit before continuing to enjoy his bowl of ice cream. “I do not have a sweet tooth.”
Jack giggled a little as he brought a spoonful of his own ice cream to his lips. “Oh, you definitely do. The way your eyes lit up when you saw all the choices was priceless.”
Bill could feel his cheeks start to heat up as Jack supported his claim. “Y-yeah? Well I don't really get to go get ice cream that often, so sue me for getting excited…”
Jack smiled as he went back to enjoying his own bowl. “Never said it was a bad thing.”
To stop any other indignant noises, Bill shoved a spoonful of ice cream into his mouth, leading to immediate regret as the cold treat froze the roof of his mouth. Bill tried his best to play it off, but the longer he did nothing, the worse the brainfreeze got.
Despite his efforts, his attention was again drawn to the golden lab. Jack was stifling a giggle as he watched the tiger struggle and fail to stop his face from scrunching up and his eyes from watering.
Jack finally stopped giggling enough to offer some advice: “The best way to deal with a brain freeze is to breathe, especially exhaling.”
Taking the advice, Bill began to breathe in quick, short breaths followed by drawn-out exhales that, just as Jack had said, started to relieve the frozen sensation.
Jack continued to giggle at the tiger’s misfortune, “That reminds me of the time me and Legoshi went for ice cream with his grandpa, he ate it a bit too fast and ended up looking like he ate a lemon! I had to spend a good bit helping him breathe to get rid of it faster.”
Bill’s breathing hitched a bit at the mention of the wolf, “You two, uh, know each other?”
Jack’s head tilted to the side at the question. “Yeah, since we were kids… Now that I think about it, you are in the drama club, too, right?”
Bill felt his heart plummet a bit at the connection, “Y-yeah, we are, but I’m on the acting team so I don’t work with him much.” He said as his hand went up to play with one of his whiskers.
Jack was about to follow up on that, but his attention was sidetracked as his phone started to ring. Pulling out the device, his eyes lit up seeing the name. “Wow, talk about timing!”
Jack put the phone to his ear as he merrily greeted his friend, “Hey Legoshi! It's actually really funny you called, I was just talking about the ti-.”
Jack's expression dropped a bit as the wolf on the other end cut off his reminiscing. The smile of the labrador slowly faded and turned into a look of worry and concern.
Bill could feel his stomach start to drop, knowing something must be wrong for Jack to change moods so fast.
Jack used both hands to hold the phone close as he seemed to grow more serious. “Where are you right now? I am not with the guys but I have a friend here that might be able to help… I'll see you in a bit, hang in there.”
Jack looked grimly at the tiger before elaborating. “I'm really sorry to do this, but can you help me? Legoshi is at the mall and he really needs help.”
Bill froze at the sudden shift in urgency and tone, but eventually nodded his head as Jack started to collect his things and get up.
Both carnivores swiftly threw away the last of their ice cream and made a run for the door.
~~~~
The elephant let out a frustrated sigh before repeating what he had said before. “Look, kid, he made a scene and scared off customers. If you can't get him out of here I’ll have to drag him out front and I don't want to do that.” He said as he crossed his arms over his chest, obscuring his mall police badge and radio.
Tem felt himself fighting every instinct to yell at the apparent apathy for Riz's situation. “I know, but can't you see that he is clearly struggling? That migraine took a lot out of him, and we are gonna get him out here soon, just give us some time!”
The bear in question was lying on his side on a bench just outside the arcade, hands still covering his ears as he still dealt with the aftermath of his migraine. The mall police were called due to a “disturbance,” and at least did help him to the bench, but any grace after that was lost. They just expected Riz to leave without any further assistance.
The elephant’s ears twitched in annoyance at this back and forth. “Look, I don't make the rules, he is a hazard, if he falls like that again he could crush someone. He is a safety hazard right now and if he doesn't get off the property, I'm gonna have to escalate this.”
Tem felt his anger getting close to boiling over. “I get that! But right now we just can't! Just give him a bit of time to get his energy back and we can leave!”
Before the elephant could respond, the sound of shoes clapping against the tile floors rushed over, Legoshi leading both Jack and Bill over to the scene. “I was able to get Jack and Bill, they can help us get Riz out of here.”
The officer just stared at the group before speaking. “Well? What are you waiting for? Get him out of here.”
Deciding it would be time wasted to call the herbivore out, Tem motioned for the others to where Riz was lying down. As gently as they could, Legoshi and Bill rotated the bear and got him sitting up. Both of them put their arms under the bear's arms and hoisted up. Riz weakly followed their lead as he tried to endure the pins and needles that spread across his whole body from where he was being touched.
Tem and Jack, not being able to help directly lift the ursine, worked on making a path through the crowds, getting to the closest exit.
Riz tried to hold up his own weight, but he still felt extremely weak; each step he took was slow and labored.
After one particularly shaky step, Riz could feel himself starting to fall. Feeling the increasing weight upon him, Bill groaned a bit as he strained to keep the bear upright. Bill’s legs started to shake and wobble before finally squeezing out a choked command, “Legoshi, give me a hand here!”
Feeling the weight of his boyfriend pull off his shoulders, Legoshi quickly pulled on his boyfriend’s arm, but even that was a struggle.
With a final push and pull, Riz was able to stand upright, and he did his best to stay that way.
Legoshi and Bill both silently agreed to go slower so the bear could keep up.
After what felt like forever, the group had finally made it back to the dorms. Getting back to his bed, Riz felt himself collapse into it, the springs and wood creaking from the sudden strain.
Outside of Riz’s room, Tem finally turned to Bill and Jack. “Thank you for helping, I don't know what me and Legoshi would have done if it was just the two of us getting Riz out of there…”
Jack’s expression finally softened at the gratitude. “It really was no problem. I'm glad I was with Bill when I got the call from Legoshi. I know Collot and the others are strong, but I think they would have really struggled to do much.”
The inadvertent praise made the tiger let out a tiny chuff, and his tail flicked happily before speaking. “I-I mean, it wasn't that hard, Riz still tried to hold himself up so it wouldn't be too hard on me and Legoshi.”
Legoshi was still silent from the whole endeavor, but looked at Bill and Jack with a questioning gaze. “Jack, what were you doing with Bill when I called you? You don't give out lessons on the weekends like that.”
The question hung in the air for a while, leaving the room in an uneasy silence as both the tiger and the lab seemed to try and communicate through some desperate form of telepathy.
Jack tried to speak up first,“Well, uh, Bill asked to do another study ses-”
But Bill talked at the same time too,“Jack asked me if he could see me work o-”
The cacophony of different reasons silenced itself as soon as it started, leaving the room somehow in an even more awkward silence.
Not knowing what to say, Tem started to speak before he could fully understand what was going on himself. “So… You two are… friends? Did Bill even tell you what he did to Legoshi?”
Bill’s face morphed into one of terror as Jack looked around, confused. “Told me what?”
The tiger’s mouth mimicked that of a fish as he tried and failed to produce a sound, not sure how to even start explaining what the alpaca meant. It was only after a painfully long time Bill started to speak, “Well- I, uh, didn’t realize it before today that you and Legoshi are friends, and I, uh, was planning on telling you, but then the whole Riz thing happened and I thought it would be better to bring up later because-” with each word, the tiger seemed to shrink a bit into himself, clearly not expecting to confront this so soon after finding out the connection. His tail coiled around his leg while the tiger’s hands felt clammy and abnormally cumbersome.
Jack, perturbed by seeing his date suddenly grow so insecure about the situation, reached out for Bill’s hand to calm him down. “Hey, just slow down, what happened between you and Legoshi?”
Tem exhaled a hot breath, trying not to blow up after the events of the day, “He is the one who outed Legoshi in front of the drama club.”
Jack’s eyes snapped back to Bill’s, seeing the guilt creep into them. “You are kidding, right?” The dog’s attention snapped to Legoshi, who was obviously not expecting his question to get to this point.
The gray wolf could feel the tension rising as he tried to formulate a sentence that would be true, but also wouldn’t cause an implosion. “Well, he did, but he also already ap-”
Jack looked appalled as he looked back at Bill with a sense of anger, one that could only equate itself with the same he felt during his childhood.
“YOU WHAT?! I JUST WENT ON A DATE WITH THE GUY THAT OUTED LEGOSHI!”
Tem could barely contain himself either. “You two were on a date?!”
Bill looked hurt as he tried to defend himself, “Look, I didn’t know you two were childhood best friends! And I already apologized to him!”
Jack looked like he wanted to rip Bill a new one, just as all the dogs had said they would - if they ever found out who outed the ill-prepared wolf.
Right before the lab could lash out, Legoshi purposely stood in between the two carnivores. What surprised them all more, though, was the sternness that left Legoshi’s mouth. “Jack, he already apologized to me and I accepted it.”
The confident way the usually soft-spoken wolf talked seemed to silence everyone. Before Jack could even try to rebut, to stoke the embers of his betrayal, Legoshi spoke again. It softer this time, but still more confident than he usually sounded when talking to anyone. “I know you might be angry, but please, Riz is trying to recover in his room and loud noises don’t help. I know you want to help me, but I need you to drop it.”
Tem and Bill grimaced a bit at realizing they probably only made Riz’s recovery worse. Yet Jack seemed to deflate even more, the words he had prepared falling silent out of his maw. The only thing left was smoldering emotions, too mixed up for the lab to properly express.
Jack’s head hung in exhaustion before mumbling, “It… might be best that I leave.”
Bill started to reach for the defeated lab, flinching away before he could reach Jack as he left and shut the door behind him.
Tem looked down at the ground, realizing his words sparked the flame. “I… I’m sorry Bill. I didn’t know you two were da-”
Before Tem could even finish, Bill walked straight to the door and left without making a sound.
With the mostly empty room, Tem could feel his guilt starting to swallow him whole. A hole seemed to have formed below his feet as his limbs felt heavy and useless. Not only could he not help Riz. Not only did his arguments with the security guard lead to absolutely nowhere, and now he had also bombed a relationship. Why? Because he still felt some resentment towards Bill? Because he couldn't keep his mouth shut and spoke without thinking about what it could mean? Did he really not trust Legoshi to make his own amends?
“I… I didn’t mean for that to happen.”
Before his thoughts could spiral further, the soft embrace of his boyfriend’s arms wrapped around him. Legoshi didn’t say anything; whether it was from disappointment or uncertainty of what to say, he just wanted to still offer some comfort to the overstressed alpaca.
Although it did stop the spiral of guilt, it shifted to a feeling of unworthiness, like he truly didn’t deserve the wolf’s support. But for now… for now, he just hugged back.
~~~~
Jack’s mind was so overloaded with feelings, he nearly knocked over two trash cans on his way towards his dorm. The canine was swimming in too many conflicting emotions and thoughts to even notice the set of steps behind him.
“Jack, can we please talk?”
Jack felt the waves of emotion overwhelm him as he tried to think of some response to who he knew was there.
“Jack, please,” Bill said, this time grabbing the Labrador’s arm.
Jack tried to release himself from the grip, but failed against the inherent strength of the tiger. “Bill, let me go.”
Bill’s grip slowly loosened at the demand, but it hadn’t stopped him. “Look, I know you are probably really mad at me right now, but can we please talk this out?”
Jack’s face scrunched up in frustration, looking like he was moments away from exploding. But before he could, Jack grabbed Bill’s arm and dragged the tiger to an alleyway between two buildings. At least there they’d have a little more privacy from any passerby student.
Alone in the alleyway, the two carnivores waited a bit in silence before Bill started his apology again, hushed to avoid any echo. “Jack, I really am sorry. I was just being really stupid when I did that and I swe-”
Jack whisper-shouted, “I am not mad at you, Bill!” He was also trying his best to be logical, something he should be in a situation like this - like a dog should be.“Well- I mean I am! But I'm also not? Ugh! It doesn’t make any sense!” Jack rambled, clearly frustrated with his own uncertainty.
Bill tried to follow, but the whiplash of emotions left him more confused on how to feel. “I, uh, don’t get what you mean.”
Jack started to explain again, “I am angry at you! But not right now! I'm mad at the situation!” With each exclamation, Jack grew more animated with his hand gestures. “I don’t know how to feel! I love you, but I also hate you for doing that to Legoshi! But I also feel mad at myself for not connecting the dots sooner! I made a promise with the others to help Legoshi and here I am dating you! But Legoshi already forgave you so I shouldn’t be mad at you! But I am! So I am mad at myself because I still really like you!”
With each “but,” Jack seemed to be growing more confused with himself, unsure of what he should be feeling and where his frustration belonged. So many things seemed to be crashing against each other. Jack’s arms waved around more violently with each iteration as the reasoning and emotions spiraled into more confusion.
Finally, when Jack threw both arms forward to gesture to Bill, the Bengal caught both. Bill held them close to the canine’s body, making Jack look into his eyes. Bill didn’t even say anything as he took a deep breath, inhaling for a bit before exhaling for more.
Jack slowly but surely followed suit, taking in a deep breath and letting himself exhale.
With the exhale, Bill slowly adjusted his grip, going from restricting his arms to holding his hands close. “Look, I suck with feelings, and I really fucked up before. I understand if you don’t want to go on a date with me anymore, but I don’t like seeing you all frustrated at yourself, or me, or anything that you feel like you are mad about.”
Slowly, Jack took another deep breath before responding. “I, I just don’t know how to feel about it, it all came up so fast and I just felt so many things…” Jack took a deep breath again as he stared at the striped black and orange hands that covered his golden ones. “I am sorry for not hearing you out… and for blowing up like that…”
Bill chuckled a little, “I can’t exactly blame you, that kind of is a big thing. I swear I didn’t know you two were childhood friends until today when you brought it up.”
Jack shared a bit in the chuckle. “When did you get good at emotional stuff?”
Bill let one hand go to scratch at his whiskers, “I definitely wouldn’t say good. The breathing stuff, I remember Tao talking about at one point.”
The lab chuckled a bit more before looking back at Bill. “Well, I'm glad you did.” As much as he wanted to, Jack suppressed the urge to delve into his lack of emotional understanding. “So, uh, I know this is probably the worst start, but I would be willing to go on a first date again.”
The tiger nearly did a double-take at the dog like he had suddenly grown a second head. “W-What? Even after you know now?”
Jack brought his free hand to his ear, rubbing the velvety end. “Well, you did absolutely mess that up… but Legoshi forgave you… And I wouldn’t mind taking up that offer to see you working out,~” Jack said with a bit of a smirk on his lips.
The proposition caused the feline to fluff up a bit. “S-sure.”
~~~~
Grogginess couldn’t begin to describe the lethargy Riz felt, the sheets of his bed feeling closer to chains that bound him. When he finally opened his eyes, Riz could barely tell if he had. The bedroom was nearly pitch black. Only after a bit were his eyes able to subtly focus, then Riz was able to make out the usual view of his dormmates’ beds.
Slowly moving, each slight shift sent waves of soreness through his body, almost like he had run a marathon and only ended up weaker than he started.
Looking for some way to tell the time, Riz looked at their curtains, seeing only a faint dark purple-blue glow coming from them.
The end of the day.
The realization only hit harder as he heard the murmurs of his roommates in the living room.
And here he was, completely alone.
The bear who can’t go on a date without ruining it.
The bear that collapsed in an arcade because of some sounds and lights.
The bear who needed assistance from others to even get back home.
*It's pathetic, all I do is just make them worry and stress…*
*I ruined everything, now whenever they will think back to this it will just be stained by the knowledge I collapsed and caused them to worry.*
Riz thought back to how pathetic it felt, how both of his boyfriends must have felt horrible not being able to help him.
Looking back, he even remembered that Tem spoke to him, even through his thick hands, he could hear the sadness in his tone.
‘I wish you didn’t take those pills.’
And at that memory, Riz paused.
He really paused and considered.
What if?
Riz’s hands tightened as his claws punctured the bed. Resolve building.
“No more.”