Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Neglect 5

Iwaizumi gritted his teeth together. His hands tightened around his textbook. Oikawa, meanwhile, seemed blissfully unaware of Iwaizumi’s growing frustration. He absently drummed his pencil on the table, staring into space.

Tap.

Tap.

Tap.

Tap.

“Oi, Shittykawa,” Iwaizumi said, talking over the incessant tapping. “Would you mind?”

“What?” Oikawa asked. His eyes were wide with surprise, like he hadn’t expected Iwaizumi to look up from his textbook. To be fair, Iwaizumi was generally a pretty focused student. While he didn’t have the best grades in his class, he was driven, and he liked to get his work done quietly and efficiently.

But Oikawa was being too irritating to ignore.

“The pencil,” Iwaizumi clarified. “Cut it out.”

Oikawa seemed startled by his own tapping. “Oh, sorry,” he apologized, his shoulders slumping. It was enough to make Iwaizumi give up on studying. He closed his book and leaned forward, getting ready to listen.

“Hey, are you okay? You’ve been on the same page since we got home.”

Oikawa had followed Iwaizumi back to his house that afternoon. At first, Iwaizumi had been a little reluctant. He had felt raw around Oikawa lately, like he was two seconds away from having another breakdown in the bathroom, and he wasn’t sure it was a good idea to be alone with him after what Hanamaki said.

However, Iwaizumi had never been good at saying no. And he had meant it when he had told Oikawa that he could come over anytime, so he let Oikawa follow him home on the heels of his sneakers.

If Iwaizumi was being honest, he liked how clingy Oikawa had been lately. After all, any time he spent with Iwaizumi was time he wasn’t spending with Aya, and that satisfied Iwaizumi in ways he was too embarrassed to admit out loud. Studying with Oikawa at his kitchen table wasn’t exactly intimate, but even if their relationship wasn’t growing, Oikawa’s relationship with Aya wasn’t growing either.

Oikawa, meanwhile, was quite obviously putting his mask in place. He sat up straighter; he smiled. He fixed his hair into place. “Of course, I’m okay,” he answered.

Iwaizumi blinked.

Oikawa deflated. “Okay, fine,” he said, caving easily. “I don’t get this at all. I think maybe I may have a Greek translation of this textbook because, honestly, none of this makes any sense.”

Iwaizumi huffed and grabbed Oikawa’s textbook. He skimmed over the chapter. “Well, it’s definitely in Japanese,” he said. “This is history stuff. What’s so confusing?”

Oikawa didn’t say anything, just shuffled his feet together. Iwaizumi glared down at the page. Oikawa always seemed to get caught up on little things when they studied together. It took him ages to wrap his head around ideas: even simple ones like what years the Edo period encompassed. Iwaizumi was concerned, but he didn’t know how to bring it up without embarrassing Oikawa.

For all of Oikawa’s bravado, it was exceptionally easy to hurt his feelings. The way he was sitting now –with his shoulders curled in and his eyes on the floor- made Iwaizumi feel like maybe he shouldn’t be as gruff as usual.

“Oikawa, are you bad at reading or something?” he asked and winced. That had been blunt.

Oikawa shrugged. He was quiet for a moment, but he soon groaned and threw himself over his notes. He buried face into the tabletop. “I’m not bad, I’m just slow!” he lamented.

Iwaizumi put the history textbook down. “Sure,” he agreed. “Slow.”

“Don’t make fun of me, Iwa-chan, it’s no big deal!”

“I’m not,” Iwaizumi said, exasperated. He kept saying the wrong thing. He wanted Oikawa to trust him, not always assume that he was teasing him. He hated having to think so carefully about his words before he spoke. “It’s okay if you’re slow. Are you getting help for it?”

Oikawa sat up. He crossed his arms over his chest defensively. His face was bright red as he slunk down in his chair. “No.”

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes. “Well, that’s probably a mistake.”

“You sound like my grandma.”

“Your grandma is a smart lady,” Iwaizumi said, gripping the bottom of his chair with white knuckles. He willed away his frustration.

Oikawa looked obstinate. His nose was turned up arrogantly, despite the blush on his cheeks. Iwaizumi had no idea how to deal with him when he was like this other than to concede.

It scared him how easily he gave into Oikawa.

“Look, how can I help you?” Iwaizumi asked. “Do you want me to read out loud to you? Are you a good listener?”

Oikawa turned to the side. Iwaizumi found his eyes slipping over the bridge of his nose. Oikawa’s profile was capturing, even when his expression was as snotty and stubborn as it was now. “I guess,” Oikawa said.

Iwaizumi snorted. “You guess?”

“I guess,” Oikawa repeated. “Maybe you could read, and I could like... take notes or something. Whatever.”

“Whatever,” Iwaizumi repeated, a smirk on his face. He opened the textbook and started reading in spite of Oikawa’s bad attitude. As he flipped pages, Oikawa seemed to get more and more invested. His note scribbling grew faster and he nodded along with what Iwaizumi was saying as if he understood.

Iwaizumi found himself reading with a smile. Oikawa had said he didn’t trust him, but he was letting him read to him, and that was something. He was sure that Oikawa wouldn’t admit his difficulties with reading to anyone else on the team.

Eventually, Iwaizumi’s throat grew dry and Oikawa had to go home to eat with his grandmother. He poured Iwaizumi a glass of water before he left. “You sound hoarse,” he said, presenting the glass with a flourish.

Iwaizumi took the cup and struggled to keep down a blush. “Yeah, I was,” he admitted. “See you tomorrow?”

“I’m not planning on ditching practice, if that’s what you mean,” Oikawa said, collecting his things to go home. He stuffed a pencil behind his ear.

Cute.

Oikawa tilted his head challengingly at Iwaizumi. “I bet you a popsicle that I’ll be able to do more pushups than you during morning practice,” he said. Iwaizumi shook his head, feeling a little dazed.

“As if,” he said slowly. “I could beat you in my sleep.”

“We’ll see about that,” Oikawa said, throwing his bag over his shoulder. He checked his watch. “Ah, okay, I’m going to miss my train. See you later, Iwa-chan!” He waved goodbye with one of his dizzying smiles.

Iwaizumi lifted a hand to wave back at him. He stayed slightly frozen as Oikawa left, and his mom caught him sitting at the kitchen table, unmoving. She smirked. “You all right, kid?” she asked.

Iwaizumi startled. “Ah, yes.”

“Good,” his mom replied. “That means you can help make dinner.”

Iwaizumi groaned, but he got up to help his mom anyway. As he cut carrots, he thought about how genuine Oikawa had been while he was taking notes and asking Iwaizumi to repeat paragraphs. For once, he had seemed like a real person, and Iwaizumi couldn’t stop thinking about it.

“I mean, it’s fine, I guess. But sometimes our relationship doesn’t seem all that... I don’t know, meaningful?” Aya said, twirling her hair around her finger. Iwaizumi snuck a glance at her and her friends out of the corner of his eye.

Aya had been talking about dating Oikawa for the better part of their free period, but this was the first time she had said anything negative. Normally she just gushed about how pretty Oikawa was, and how he swept her hair out of her eyes for her, and how polite he was when he spoke to her.

Aya’s Oikawa sounded extremely different than Iwaizumi’s Oikawa.

Iwaizumi’s Oikawa was whiny and annoying. Whenever Iwaizumi did something he didn’t like, there was a screaming match. Oikawa didn’t care about being polite when it came to Iwaizumi. The only real similarity between Aya’s Oikawa and Iwaizumi’s Oikawa was that they were both tactile.

Of course, Oikawa had never brushed Iwaizumi’s bangs off his forehead like he did for Aya, but Iwaizumi didn’t want him to do that, anyway.

Iwaizumi’s conversation with Hanamaki replayed in his brain.

“Like, he asks me about me, and he listens to me complain and stuff, and he offers, like... condolences, but he never tells me about himself,” Aya continued. “He’s been over to my house, like... every other day this week, but I’ve never even seen his place. He always says it’s too far away, but my house isn’t exactly close to school.” She sighed, resting her cheek on her hand. One of her friends was quick to console her.

“Maybe he is just nervous about you meeting his family,” Shiho said kindly.

Aya rested her head on her desk. “Or maybe he’s embarrassed to have me meet his family,” she said. She seemed miserable.

Iwaizumi, however, was elated. Maybe Aya hadn’t seen Oikawa’s house or met Oikawa’s family, but Iwaizumi had. Not only had Iwaizumi met Oikawa’s grandma, but they had gotten to the point where they were exchanging cookie recipes and sharing volleyball and widows group stories on a weekly basis.

Part of Iwaizumi felt guilty for being so smug about beating Aya in the “who’s closer to Oikawa” competition, but a larger part of him wanted to get up and rub it in her face. However, he stayed seated as her friends patted her back and tried to cheer her up.

“Aya, come on, he can’t be embarrassed of you!”

“Yeah, Aya, you’re so pretty, there’s no way he wouldn’t want to show you off!”

“Maybe you have it the wrong way around, and he’s actually embarrassed of his family and doesn’t want you to meet them.”

Aya groaned. “Maybe,” she conceded. “But like... You don’t get it. I feel like I don’t know anything about him, and we’ve been going out for almost a month now. Our anniversary is coming up, and he still doesn’t talk about anything serious. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong!”

“Nothing, Aya, you’re perfect,” Shiho promised. The other girls were all quick to agree, showering Aya in compliments.

Iwaizumi took a deep breath. At least he had a leg up on Aya in some regards. Oikawa talked to him about some things (sort of), like his grandma and his reading difficulties.

But as good as he felt about having the upper hand on this one thing, Aya was still the one dating Oikawa. As much as Iwaizumi didn’t want to admit it, the thought hurt. He wasn’t sure he was as in love as Hanamaki wanted to believe, but he didn’t like the thought of someone else edging into the biggest spot in Oikawa’s heart.

He was jealous; he just wasn’t sure why.

Iwaizumi jumped up for a block and winced when the ball ricocheted off his fingertips.

“Iwaizumi, jump sooner and higher,” Coach Irihata demanded. Iwaizumi nodded as he ran back to the end of the line. They had only been doing this blocking drill for a few minutes, but they had been practicing jump serves only a moment before and spiking before that. Iwaizumi’s legs were exhausted. He would kill to practice his receives just so he didn’t have to jump anymore.

“Get it together, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa said tauntingly as Iwaizumi walked by to take his place in line.

Iwaizumi smacked Oikawa on the back of the head as he passed by. Oikawa whined, but before he could put up too much of a fuss, he had to run and make a block of his own. The ball smacked loudly against his palm, and Iwaizumi found his eyes lingering on Oikawa as he landed nimbly on his toes.

Ugh.

Iwaizumi broke eye contact with Oikawa’s legs. He used the inside of his shirt half to hide his face and half to wipe sweat from his forehead. He had to stop staring.

Instead of looking at Oikawa, Iwaizumi looked to Hanamaki. Ever since Hanamaki had mentioned how much he “cared” about Matsukawa, Iwaizumi had been noticing the extra attention Hanamaki placed on Matsukawa.

Currently, Hanamaki was standing behind Matsukawa in line, waiting to block. His chin was resting on Matsukawa’s shoulder, even though Matsukawa was so much shorter. Matsukawa was complaining about something –probably about being tired or not getting enough to eat at lunch- but he also wasn’t moving out from under Hanamaki’s chin.

Iwaizumi crossed his arms over his chest. Was it okay that Hanamaki was touching Matsukawa so much, or was it creepy? If Matsukawa knew Hanamaki’s true feelings, would he let him get so close?

Would he even want to stay friends?

Iwaizumi couldn’t imagine anything shaking Matsukawa and Hanamaki’s friendship. They had been close before school started, and now with a quarter of their first year under their belts, they knew each other better than ever. Matsukawa wouldn’t let a crush get in the way of his friendship with Hanamaki.

Right?

Iwaizumi felt a little sick. If he did have a crush on Oikawa –and he wasn’t sure that he did- it would be a serious problem. He and Oikawa had a shaky relationship at best. Iwaizumi falling in love with him was a surefire way to destroy whatever kind of friendship they had managed to scrounge together.

“That’s right, Kaneo. Get some,” Hanamaki cheered as Kaneo went up for a spike. Matsukawa grimaced when Hanamaki yelled in his ear. Meanwhile, Motomu attempted to block Kaneo’s spike. “Hell yeah, Motomu! Get there!” Hanamaki shouted.

“Shut up,” Matsukawa complained, ducking out from under Hanamaki’s chin. He shoved Hanamaki away from him.

Hanamaki seemed startled, but he quickly recovered. He slammed his shoulder into Matsukawa’s side, sending him stumbling.

“You’re such a dweeb,” Matsukawa complained, pulling Hanamaki into a headlock. He ruffled Hanamaki’s hair. Hanamaki squirmed, trying to get out of Matsukawa’s hold but laughing all the while.

A volleyball slammed onto their side of the court.

Coach Irihata cleared his throat. “Boys,” he said, his voice threatening. “Maybe if you hadn’t been horsing around, one of you would have made that block.”

A sheepish Morioka stood on the other side of the net. He had been able to spike freely when Matsukawa hadn’t jumped for his block.

“Sorry, Coach,” Matsukawa and Hanamaki replied in unison. At least they had the decency to look guilty.

“Try again,” Coach Irihata demanded. Morioka doubled back around for another spike, and this time Matsukawa ran and jumped to block it. Iwaizumi watched as the ball wiped off of the edge of Matsukawa’s hand. It bounced to the left side of the gym.

“Hey, are you okay?”

Iwaizumi jumped three feet in the air. “Shit,” he swore. “Oikawa, I forgot you were behind me.”

Oikawa smirked. “I’m that sneaky, huh?” he asked, putting his hands on his hips and cocking his head to the side.

Iwaizumi shoved him. “No,” he replied. “I was just distracted.”

“You’re always distracted lately,” Oikawa pouted, and Iwaizumi rolled his eyes. It was impossible to keep up with Oikawa’s shifting moods.

Iwaizumi couldn’t think of a good answer, so he settled for a stupid comeback. “You’re always distracted,” he said in a whiney voice. This time, Oikawa was the one to shove Iwaizumi.

“You’re annoying.”

“You’re both annoying,” Motomu pointed out, wiping his face off on a towel as they all shuffled forward in line.

“Oh, look! He speaks,” Matsukawa said as he took his spot behind Motomu. He patted Motomu’s back. “It’s good to hear your voice, buddy. Especially when you’re using it to insult someone other than me.”

“You’re annoying, too,” Motomu glowered, shaking off Matsukawa’s hand.

“Guys, how are we friends? We’re not even nice to each other,” Iwaizumi mused, wondering how this had so quickly become normal to him. His friends were jerks, but funnily enough, Iwaizumi didn’t actually mind. He liked how rudely his friends talked to each other. It was fun to try to keep up and get the last word, especially when they all used such empty insults.

“Honestly, you people are so unpleasant,” Oikawa agreed, sticking up his nose.

“You know what’s unpleasant?” Iwaizumi said, deciding the group needed a subject change. “Blocking drills.”

“True,” Matsukawa agreed. He slunk down to the floor. “I’m exhausted.”

Motomu nudged Matsukawa with his toe. Matsukawa smacked Motomu away blindly and stretched out a little further across the floor. It always surprised Iwaizumi how fast Matsukawa could go from walking and talking to falling asleep.

“You’ve got to start taking this seriously,” Oikawa said petulantly.

“Shh, it’s nap time,” Matsukawa said as Hanamaki joined the end of the line. “Oh, good,” Matsukawa said upon noticing him. He grabbed Hanamaki’s arm and pulled down.

Hanamaki’s eyebrows rose up. “Wait, wha- ah!” he yelped. He topped over and fell across Matsukawa. Hanamaki looked startled, but he started laughing as soon as he realized their awkward position. His cheeks glowed.

Hanamaki tried to stand up, but Matsukawa kept grabbing at his ankles. Iwaizumi watched Hanamaki try to detangle himself from Matsukawa’s gangly limbs. He was so transfixed, he almost didn’t hear Oikawa muttering under his breath: “Idiots.”

Iwaizumi flinched. He didn’t know what he was thinking. Fortunately, it was his turn to block, and Iwaizumi ran from his friends to meet Heisuke up at the net. His calves burned as he stretched to stop his spike.

The ball smacked off of Iwaizumi’s hand. Air swept up his shirt as he landed.

“Nice one,” Heisuke said.

“Right,” Iwaizumi said absently.

Heisuke gave him a strange look, but Iwaizumi avoided eye contact. Maybe Oikawa had been right. He was distracted an awful lot lately.

Iwaizumi closed his eyes as he floated across the pool. The sun felt warm on his face. Spring was finally giving way to summer, and while the air during the day felt warm and sticky, the chilled night air cooled down the water so much it took breath away when he jumped in.

Still, it was nice to just... float.

“Cannonball!” Kaneo yelped, jumping into the pool right next to Iwaizumi’s head. A wave of water smacked Iwaizumi’s face, and he sat up, sputtering as his feet tried to find purchase on the bottom of the pool. “Got you!” Kaneo chirped when he resurfaced.

Iwaizumi could only cough up pool water as Kaneo smirked at him. “I think... you killed me...” he said between gasps. Kaneo just laughed and sunk under the water. Iwaizumi watched him swim away, his lungs seizing up. He pulled himself out of the pool and sat on the ledge.

Iwaizumi watched as Kaneo pulled the same trick on Heisuke; although, Heisuke didn’t take it quite as well. Before the tidal wave from Kaneo’s cannonball could hit him, he had tackled Kaneo under the water. Oikawa –who’d been talking with Heisuke before- backed away from their splashing and kicking. He swam over to Iwaizumi.

“Hey,” Oikawa said with a goofy smirk.

“What?” Iwaizumi grunted.

“Nothing!” Oikawa yelped, offended. “You always sound so accusatory when you talk to me. Geez, Iwa-chan,” he said, smile still on his face.

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes. “I just know you. And I know when you smile at me like a total goober that you want something or you’re about to insult me,” he said. Oikawa had a beautiful smile no matter what his intentions were, but Iwaizumi could spot the differences.

“I would never insult you, Iwaizumi.”

Iwaizumi snorted. “Sure.”

“Honestly. Never.”

“Right.”

“Except-“

Iwaizumi huffed out a sigh.

“Of all the swimsuits you could have chosen, why the hell did you pick those awful things?” Oikawa asked, crinkling his nose.

Iwaizumi looked down at his bathing suit. He didn’t know what was wrong with it. “I like pineapples,” he said, figuring Oikawa didn’t like the print.

“It’s not the pineapples, Iwa-chan. Although, now that you mention it, that’s ugly too,” Oikawa said. Iwaizumi fixed him with a glare that Oikawa either didn’t notice or pointedly ignored. “They’re so short.”

“They’re not short,” Iwaizumi said, pulling his trunks down self-consciously.

“They’re like mid-thigh.”

“Oikawa, you’re not allowed to make fun of my swimsuit, when yours has fucking dinosaurs printed all over it!” he exclaimed, trying to take Oikawa’s attention off of his legs.

Oikawa’s face heated up a brilliant shade of red. His nose screwed up. “You promised you wouldn’t make fun of me if I came swimming today!”

“You started it!” Iwaizumi argued. However, one look at Oikawa’s pouting face had Iwaizumi buckling. Something about his wet hair in his eyes and the water dripping down his neck made him more convincing than usual. “But you’re right. Sorry. I like the dinosaur swimsuit, and I’m glad you’re here.”

Oikawa tilted his head to the side. “Really?”

“’Really’ what?” Iwaizumi asked. When Oikawa looked down at the floor of the pool, blush still high on his cheeks and feet kicking beneath him, Iwaizumi took mercy on him. “I really am sorry, I really am glad you’re here, and I really do like your dinosaurs. Triceratops are my favorite.”

Oikawa blinked, and a small smile emerged on his face. He opened his mouth to say something, but before he could, Kaneo cut him off. “Cannonball!” he screamed for the umpteenth time. He jumped in close enough to the wall that he even got Iwaizumi wet.

“Ah, Kaneo! Quit doing that!” Oikawa yelped, trying to scrub chlorine out of his eyes and tread water at the same time.

Kaneo plastered on a shit-eating grin. “Sure. I’ve already gotten everyone anyway. You were my last target,” he said before doing a backflip in the water. He was too carefree for his own good. “Hey, wanna see how many backflips I can do in a row?” Kaneo asked when he came up for a breath.

Oikawa glowered. “No.”

“Sure,” Iwaizumi answered, clapping a hand over Oikawa’s mouth.

Kaneo gasped –partially in excitement and partially for a good breath of air- before flipping. Iwaizumi counted fourteen before Kaneo got so dizzy he ended up twisting in the water and flailing his arms to resurface. “Help!” he yelped.

Iwaizumi huffed out a sigh before diving into the water, his arms stretching out in front of him. Kaneo was light as a feather. He was so small, Iwaizumi was worried about his strong arms snapping him in half as he swam him to safety.

Oikawa gulped as Iwaizumi lifted Kaneo up onto the edge of the pool.

“Are you okay?” Iwaizumi asked, noticing Oikawa’s wide eyes.

“Yeah,” Oikawa said in a small voice, his eyes trained on Iwaizumi’s arms instead of on his face. He seemed to shake himself out of it, however. “The real question is: Is Kaneo okay?”

“I’m kind of dizzy,” Kaneo admitted.

“Maybe just take it easy then,” Iwaizumi suggested. He hopped out onto the pool deck. He grabbed an inner tube and used it to pillow Kaneo’s head as he helped him lie down. “Just chill out, you’ve been going crazy ever since we got here. You need a break.”

As Kaneo got comfortable, their other friends swam over. “Hey, is Kaneo okay?” Matsukawa asked. Even Motomu had looked up from his book. He stared at them from his spot lounging atop lawn chair.

“Yeah, he’s cool,” Iwaizumi promised.

“Wrong, I’m bored,” Kaneo complained, as Heisuke replaced the inner tube Kaneo was resting on with his lap. Despite how annoyed Kaneo seemed to be lying down, he looked awfully comfortable laying his head on Heisuke’s leg. “Someone needs to tell me a story, and it can’t be Heisuke. I know all his stories already,” he said innocently enough.

“Hey,” Heisuke complained, flicking Kaneo’s nose. Kaneo only giggled.

Hanamaki leaned over the pool ledge. His hair looked deep red when it was wet. “I’ve got a good story,” he said, his eyes sparking with excitement. “This one time, Matsukawa and I went to see our friend Kaori in a play, right? And she was really good, but we didn’t know her that well, so we weren’t going to stay for the after party or anything, but her friend Shiraishi convinced us to go. Except for she didn’t say that the after party was actually a birthday party only for close friends and family, so-“

“Yeah, yeah, we all know this one already,” Heisuke cut in, rolling his eyes.

Kaneo winced. “Yeah, you guys got flustered during the birthday song and ran away screaming. You’ve told it, like, a thousand times.”

Hanamaki frowned. “But did I tell you about how afterwards-“

“You had to interview her for the school paper and it was super awkward? Because yes. You’ve probably told that story more than you’ve told the after party one,” Heisuke said.

Hanamaki crossed his arms and pouted, while Matsukawa patted his back. Kaneo squirmed. “Does anyone else have a good story?”

“I went on a date with Aya yesterday,” Oikawa admitted, scratching the back of his neck.

Iwaizumi’s stomach twisted. His usual tight control over his facial expression wavered, and he turned to grab his towel to try to hide his face. He was done swimming anyway. Only Oikawa, Matsukawa, and Hanamaki were still in the water, apparently not affected by how cold it was.

“I’ve never been on a date before,” Kaneo mused. “What’s it like?”

“Depends, really,” Oikawa said. “Aya acts kind of shy when she talks to me. And she’s sort of boring.”

“Lame,” Hanamaki said.

“Not lame,” Oikawa corrected, eyebrow twitching. “She’s not the most exciting person, but our dates are still good. She’s really nice, and she’s a great listener. But mostly, like... she’s really supportive. Like, she compliments me all the time, and like... she likes holding my hand. She’s shy when it comes to talking, but not when it comes to physical stuff.”

“That’s cool, man. I’m happy for you,” Matsukawa said.

“I’m not,” Hanamaki argued. “Don’t you think you should be with someone, I don’t know... more assertive? Like someone who will tell you what you need to hear?”

Oikawa frowned. “Um...”

“Plus, I’ve always pictured you with someone strong. Someone passionate about the things they care about, someone strong-willed. But also someone who is gentle enough to take care of you, you know?” Hanamaki asked. Oikawa blinked, and Hanamaki pressed further. “You know?”

“Sure?” Oikawa asked. “I mean... Aya’s not going to be my wife or anything; she doesn’t have to be the perfect girl for me. We’re casual. But she’s cute and pretty, and she agrees with just about everything I say, so we’re good. Plus, she likes crepes so we eat those together, like... all of the time.”

Hanamaki frowned. “But-“

“Hanamaki, let Oikawa date who he wants to date,” Iwaizumi cut in, his cheeks burning. He had his towel over his head so that no one would see him blushing.

Hanamaki huffed, but didn’t say anything else. Kaneo groaned after a beat of silence. “It’s so boring sitting on the edge of the pool. How does Motomu do it?”

Motomu looked up from his book again, sunglasses glinting. He didn’t say anything, but he did take a sip of some fruity drink he had gotten from the pool snack bar. He went back to reading wordlessly.

Matsukawa hummed. “I think Motomu appreciates silence,” he said.

“He’s a simple guy,” Heisuke tacked on.

Oikawa looked at Motomu. “Or he’s been silently planning our murders this entire time. He’s just been playing nice to get close to us,” he said, a sly smirk creeping up his face as he spoke.

Iwaizumi smushed his toes into Oikawa’s face, a job made easy when Oikawa was swimming and Iwaizumi was on dry land. “You have the craziest conspiracy theories,” he said.

Kaneo sat up straight with a loud gasp. “But wait! He’s right!” he exclaimed. “It’s always the quiet ones you have to look out for!”

Motomu adjusted his glasses absently and sunlight bounced off of the reflective lenses. Iwaizumi shuddered, and as did everyone else. “Okay, that’s enough pool for today, I’m out of here,” Iwaizumi decided. “This is too much for me.”

“You’re leaving so soon?” Hanamaki asked, looking put out.

Iwaizumi shrugged. “It’s getting too creepy. Plus the water is cold, and I’m tired. I’ll see you all tomorrow for morning practice.”

“Goodbye, Iwa-chan!” Kaneo chirped with his best Oikawa impression.

“Later, Iwa.”

“See you soon, buddy.”

“Peace out!”

Iwaizumi stood up and crammed his feet into his sandals. Oikawa popped up out of the pool before he could leave, though. “I think I’m going to leave with you, if that’s cool. We can walk to the train together?” he asked.

“Sure,” Iwaizumi agreed, pulling on a t-shirt. He and Oikawa gathered their things and left the pool, their friends waving behind them. Oikawa bounced over cracks in the sidewalk, his arm brushing Iwaizumi’s with every step.

“Hey, thanks for inviting me swimming today,” he said, a bright smile on his face. It was funny how his walls seemed to come down the second they were alone.

“No problem,” Iwaizumi promised. “You can basically hang out with us whenever you want. You don’t need, like... a formal invitation every time.” Iwaizumi kept his head on the sidewalk in front of him. Instead of jumping over cracks, he stepped over them, somewhat following Oikawa’s lead.

“Yeah, well... still. It was nice to have one. You’re a good friend to keep hanging out with me like this, Iwaizumi.”

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes. “You haven’t had a good friend before, then. Spending time together is pretty much the bare minimum of friendship,” he said. Oikawa’s smile softened. He turned to look at Iwaizumi, but Iwaizumi kept his eyes down, knowing that he would say something stupid if he looked at Oikawa right now.

“I mean... I don’t think I had any good friends in middle school. But there was this one kid in fourth grade, who like... for the most part was pretty cool.”

Iwaizumi’s head whipped up. “Yeah?”

Oikawa smirked. “Yeah. He like... snuck me Yan Yan whenever I asked for it,” he teased, and Iwaizumi didn’t hesitate to shove him into the street. Oikawa yelped. “Iwa-chan! How dangerous!”

“There’s no cars coming, Oikawa. You’re fine.”

“Still,” Oikawa said moodily. They reached the train station. “I guess this is where we go separate ways. You have to go to the other platform, huh?” he asked, and Iwaizumi grunted in confirmation. “Okay. Well... See you tomorrow, I guess.”

“Yeah, see you Oikawa.”

Iwaizumi watched as Oikawa climbed the steps to the platform. Something painful twisted in his chest. The sooner he figured out his feelings, the better.

It’s not for another three days at a movie-night-turned-sleepover at Motomu’s house that Hanamaki apologizes for the ‘Pool Incident,’ as Iwaizumi had taken to calling it.

It’s also the middle of the night when he does it, and Iwaizumi wakes up from the sheer feeling that he was being watched.

His heart nearly stopped when he opened his eyes to find Hanamaki’s face less than two inches from his own. “Hanamaki, what the fuck? What time is it?” he asked, clutching his chest and rolling his face further into his pillow.

“What?” Hanamaki asked, as if that was an entirely unreasonable question to ask after getting woken up in the middle of the night. “I don’t know. I needed to talk to you.”

Iwaizumi groaned. “It couldn’t have waited until the morning?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

Hanamaki winced. “Well, it’s kind of a private matter,” he said. He shifted under the covers. “I wanted to apologize. I’m sorry if I was pushy at the pool with Oikawa... I shouldn’t have hinted about dating someone like you when you don’t know you feel yet. I should have waited.”

Iwaizumi rolled over to face Hanamaki. He squinted as he tried to open his eyes. “Yeah, maybe you should have,” he agreed. “But it’s okay. I don’t think that he could have guessed in a million years that you were talking about me.”

Hanamaki frowned. “Why?”

Iwaizumi shrugged. “You were way too generous, man. I’m none of those things you said, except for maybe the assertive part,” he answered. He didn’t know if he would ever describe himself as passionate and gentle.

Hanamaki nuzzled his nose into the blanket they were sharing. “You’re all of those things, Iwaizumi,” he promised. “But we’re... we’re cool, right?”

“Of course,” Iwaizumi promised, his voice groggy. “Also, next time we have a sleepover, I’ll let you share a futon with Matsukawa, okay? I’ll sleep with Motomu, even if he snores.”

Hanamaki kicked his shin for no reason. “You’re too good to me,” he said, and Iwaizumi couldn’t help but agree. He didn’t know why he kept doing nice things for Hanamaki when Hanamaki kept hurting him for it. “Also, wanna help me freeze Heisuke’s underwear?”

Iwaizumi smirked. “Definitely.”

“You’ve got this,” Iwaizumi promised, leaning over Oikawa’s shoulder. Oikawa was wearing a tank top, and Iwaizumi was so close he could feel the heat from the skin stretched across his shoulder blades. “What’s the next step?”

“Um... divide by two?” Oikawa asked, his pencil hovering above his paper.

Iwaizumi tsked.

“Divide by-“

“Don’t divide,” Iwaizumi said. He pointed to the math problem Oikawa was working on. “We can’t divide unless we’re multiplying everything on one side of the equation. You can only subtract or add to both sides right now.”

Oikawa huffed out a puff of air, disrupting the hair lying on his forehead. He fixed it back into place before staring at the math problem blankly. “Um... Can I subtract by six?” he asked.

“Sure,” Iwaizumi replied.

Oikawa squinted. “Could I also subtract by 2x?”

“Yep!” Iwaizumi said brightly. “You get it.”

“Not really,” Oikawa said, but he managed to fill out the rest of the problem anyway. “Is x less than or equal to three?” he asked, uncertain.

Iwaizumi ruffled Oikawa’s hair. “Yeah, man, you got it. Way to go,” he said encouragingly.

Oikawa smiled -proud of himself- and Iwaizumi basked under the light of it. However, a knock at his bedroom door stole his attention away. “Tooru, dear? I brought you and Hajime cookies,” his grandma said, letting herself in.

“Ah, thanks,” Iwaizumi said. He got up to grab the plate from her, while Oikawa scrambled to cover up his math homework.

“Gram! I didn’t say come in!”

“Well, isn’t Iwaizumi just helping you with math?” she asked, and Oikawa’s face colored pink. Iwaizumi snorted. There wasn’t anything Oikawa couldn’t find a reason to be embarrassed about.

“Hey, what kind are these?” Iwaizumi asked, having mercy on Oikawa and changing the subject. He held the plate closer to try to guess what Oikawa’s grandma had put inside before she told him.

“Walnut chocolate chip. It was what I had lying around the pantry,” she said dismissively. “If you don’t like them, I won’t be offended.”

“Oh, no, I’ll definitely like them,” Iwaizumi promised. “I like everything you bake. And so does my dad. He’s been driving himself crazy, trying to figure out your secret recipe for the oatmeal toffee cookies. He keeps asking me for your number.”

Oikawa’s grandmother laughed. “He can call as much as he wants, but he’s never getting it.”

“That’s what I told him,” Iwaizumi said, scratching the back of his neck.

“Tell your father if he wants more oatmeal raisin cookies, he’ll have to ask me. The only copies of that recipe are either written into my will or up here,” she said, tapping her temple. “I do it from memory. Same with my apple pie.”

“I don’t think that my dad could do anything from memory,” Iwaizumi said. “He’d forget his own head if it wasn’t already attached to him.”

Oikawa groaned. “Okay, well not that this small talk isn’t fun, but I have homework I need to do,” he whined, draping himself across his notes.

“Of course. Sorry, Tooru,” his grandma said sweetly. She brushed Oikawa’s hair out of his eyes, and Iwaizumi didn’t miss the way Oikawa perked up a little from her touch. “I’ll leave you boys to it.”

Oikawa’s grandma closed the door behind her, and Iwaizumi turned to Oikawa. “You know, I like talking to your grandma. You don’t have to try to get rid of her whenever we’re together,” he said.

Oikawa crinkled his nose. “But we’re busy. We only have forty minutes left before your train comes, and I still don’t get any of this,” he complained. His head stayed ducked down low as he pulled out his math homework again.

Iwaizumi sighed. He didn’t know why Oikawa was so adamant that his grandma didn’t know about how much he was struggling at school.

“Okay,” he said because on some level, Iwaizumi could understand how this might be embarrassing for Oikawa and that he might need every second of Iwaizumi’s time to tutor him. However, Oikawa and his grandma were close. What was the point in keeping secrets? “But maybe sometime I should come over just to hang out, like we do at my house, you know? I don’t want your gram to think I don’t want to talk to her.”

Oikawa arched an eyebrow. “Well, do you want to talk to her?”

Iwaizumi frowned. “Of course. She’s nice,” he answered.

Oikawa seemed disgruntled. He squirmed in his seat, and Iwaizumi reopened his math textbook, deciding to ignore him. “How about number six? Can you do that one?” he asked, angling the page for Oikawa to see. Oikawa’s eyes widened as he stared at the problem. “Just try writing it out, and then see what you think comes next,” Iwaizumi suggested.

Oikawa bit his lip as he scribbled down the inequality. He was so focused. It was admirable how much effort Oikawa put into little things, like math homework and jump serves. He was such a hard worker. He was so passionate and devoted.

Iwaizumi’s eyes stayed glued on the lip Oikawa had caught between his teeth. “Is this right?” Oikawa asked.

“Yeah,” Iwaizumi answered without looking. “Or, actually-“ He shook himself out of it and looked at Oikawa’s paper. “No, wait, yep! That’s right! Ah, you did it, that’s so awesome!” he cheered. “What do you think you do next?”

Oikawa’s nose twitched. “Divide by two?”

“Yes!” Iwaizumi exclaimed. He clapped Oikawa on the shoulder. “Great job!”

Oikawa lowered his head, hiding his face, but Iwaizumi could still see a tiny smile pull at the corner of his mouth. He stared at the faint flush to his cheeks. Something about seeing Oikawa blush made Iwaizumi’s face heat up. But even if he was bright red, he wasn’t uncomfortable. Sitting next to Oikawa at his desk, shoulders bumping every time they moved, was starting to become Iwaizumi’s favorite place in the world.

“Nice kill, Iwa!” Morioka shouted from across the gym.

Iwaizumi landed neatly on his feet, his palm stinging from his most recent spike. His overall strength was still weak compared to the third years on the team, but lately, Iwaizumi was starting to feel more confident about volleyball. Even his mom had noticed how big his arms were getting. (She kept reminiscing about when he was a noodle-y little baby, very obviously trying to make Iwaizumi as uncomfortable as possible.)

Iwaizumi wasn’t the only one growing up, however. Oikawa had come into Aobajōsai as the most athletic first year on the team, and time was only making him fitter. They could never run enough laps to faze Oikawa; they could never do enough blocking drills to make him tired. Sometimes, when Iwaizumi was sure no one was paying attention to him, he couldn’t help but marvel at Oikawa’s calf muscles. How did his legs get so strong?

Iwaizumi’s eyes flickered over to Oikawa’s legs as he thought about them.

A second year on Iwaizumi’s team tossed up a serve that smacked the court almost as soon as it had left his hand. Kaneo dived for it, and looked dazed when it completely missed his forearm.

“And that’s match point,” Matsukawa said, stretching out his shoulders.

Iwaizumi blinked away from Oikawa. He felt his cheeks warm up when Hanamaki caught his eye from the other side of the net. Every time Iwaizumi stared at Oikawa, Hanamaki caught him in the act.

The rest of practice went smoothly. Iwaizumi bickered with Heisuke as they stretched out, and he whipped the back of Motomu’s thigh with his towel while he was getting changed. He started towards the train station with Hanamaki and Matsukawa close behind him.

“Hey, Iwaizumi, you wanna get online tonight?” Matsukawa asked.

“Depends what you’re playing,” Iwaizumi answered, his eyebrows furrowing together when he realized the door to the gym was still cracked open.

“CoD, what else?” Matsukawa asked.

Iwaizumi peered into the gym, frowning when a familiar shade of auburn hair ran past the doorway. “... I’ll think about it,” he said belatedly, stopping in his tracks.

Hanamaki punched his shoulder. “Hey, are you okay?” he asked.

Iwaizumi nodded slowly. “... Yeah. I just realized I forgot someone- Or, something,” he corrected. “I’ll catch up with you guys later. I’ll definitely get online tonight,” he promised, turning to run up the steps to the gym.

“Catch you later, Iwaizumi.”

“You’re so weird, Iwaizumi!”

Iwaizumi smirked and slammed the gym door closed behind him. He leaned up against the door for a moment before seeking out Oikawa. The other boy was bouncing a volleyball in front of him, gearing up for a serve. He spun the ball in his hands a couple times.

“Hey!” Iwaizumi shouted.

Oikawa jumped at least three feet in the air. The ball left his hands without his permission, and Iwaizumi laughed when it went soaring, only to come crashing down and bounce off of Oikawa’s head.

“Oi! Don’t scare me like that!” Oikawa demanded, stomping his foot. “And stop laughing.”

“Sorry... Sorry...” Iwaizumi said, unable to stop himself. He doubled over, laughing at the ground so he wasn’t laughing at Oikawa’s face. “I’m sorry, I am,” he promised, sobering up. “What are you doing here so late, anyway?”

Oikawa didn’t look happy. In fact, he looked extremely irritated. “Getting some extra serving practice in,” he answered.

Iwaizumi wiped at the mirth in his eyes, starting to grow a little more serious. “What? Don’t.”

Oikawa arched an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”

“We already did serving drills today,” Iwaizumi said. “A ton of them. You don’t have to do extra practice all the time. Take a break.”

Oikawa’s expression turned into something cooler. Iwaizumi had come to recognize the associated slope of his shoulders and cock of his head as a wall coming between him and Oikawa. He had done something to make Oikawa feel defensive.

“I do take breaks,” he said. “Sometimes I go to your house or you come to mine. And sometimes I go out with Aya after practice.”

Iwaizumi grunted. “I guess.”

Oikawa grabbed another volleyball from the ball cart. He bounced it on the ground a few times, awkward silence filling the space between them. “So...” he said when neither of them moved. “Are you planning to stick around? Because I wouldn’t mind switching to some setting practice.”

Iwaizumi sighed. He looked at the twenty or so volleyballs spread out the other side of the gym, all indications of the extra serving practice Oikawa had already snuck in. “Tooru, why don’t you just let me take you home?” he asked.

Oikawa’s nose crinkled.

“Please?” Iwaizumi tried.

“Ten more serves,” Oikawa bartered, twirling the volleyball in his hands more fiercely than Iwaizumi would have thought he could.

“Five, and I’ll carry your backpack for you,” Iwaizumi offered. He knew Oikawa would agree. By this point, his arms must be exhausted.

Oikawa seemed to think about it for a minute. “...Okay,” he eventually agreed. “But only because you asked so nicely,” he said with a wink, and Iwaizumi felt red creep up his face like a thermometer.

“Whatever,” Iwaizumi said dismissively. “I’m waiting outside where it’s cooler.”

Iwaizumi stepped out of the gym, leaving the door open behind him so he could hear each of Oikawa’s serves and count them. He held his knees to his chest. Eventually, Oikawa left the gym. “Hey, you’re still here.”

“Obviously,” Iwaizumi said, grumpy.

“Obviously,” Oikawa teased, ruffling Iwaizumi’s hair so hard, it felt like his knuckles were grinding into his scalp. “I’m going to change, and then we can leave together.”

“Sure,” Iwaizumi replied. “I’ll just be here waiting for you.”

“Iwa-chan, how chivalrous.”

“You’re a dweeb.”

Oikawa laughed and ran off before Iwaizumi could gear up to punch him. Iwaizumi watched him leave. He noticed the faint tremor in his legs from jumping and running around all afternoon.

It was good that he had stepped in when he had; however, it was terrible that he couldn’t stop staring at Oikawa’s legs.

Later that evening, Iwaizumi practically collapsed onto his bed. He had promised Matsukawa that he would play Call of Duty with him, but honestly, he was exhausted.

Riding a half an hour to Oikawa’s place, and then an hour back home wasn’t convenient. It took up a lot of time, and while Iwaizumi loved talking to Oikawa’s grandmother, she didn’t always understand that sometimes Iwaizumi needed to get home.

Fortunately, he had been able to get his homework done on the train. However, he was still exhausted, and gaming didn’t feel like a possibility.

He rolled over and felt his bedside table blindly for his cellphone. He needed to text Matsukawa to tell him he wasn’t going to be on.

However, as Iwaizumi pulled up Matsukawa’s name in his contacts, his phone vibrated with an incoming text.

Hanamaki (7:42)
Hey are you still with Oikawa?

Iwaizumi frowned.

Iwaizumi (7:43)
No.

Hanamaki (7:43)
Good.

Hanamaki (7:44)
I caught you staring today.

Hanamaki (7:44)
And I know you stayed back to practice with him.

Iwaizumi (7:45)
So?

Hanamaki (7:45)
So?

Hanamaki (7:45)
SO I really think you might be in love with him.

Hanamaki (7:45)
Obviously.

Hanamaki (7:46)
You’d have to be.

Iwaizumi’s stomach twisted as the texts rolled in. He hated how observant Hanamaki was. And not only was he observant, but he was also persistent. The last thing Iwaizumi wanted to think about was having a crush on Oikawa. Even if he did like him, he would rather live the rest of his life without ever realizing his feelings than confront them head on.

Iwaizumi (7:59)
You’re wrong.

Iwaizumi stared at his phone screen for a minute, watching as Hanamaki typed. Each time the dots blinked, anxiety grew in Iwaizumi’s chest. He texted again before Hanamaki could send what he was working on.

Iwaizumi (8:01)
I’m going to sleep. Goodnight.

Iwaizumi threw his phone on the ground, determined not to look at it for the rest of the night. He didn’t want to see what Hanamaki had to say.

Iwaizumi was worried that his phone might actually burn a hole through his gym bag. He knew Hanamaki had texted him back last night; he had seen it in his notifications. However, he still hadn’t read the message yet, and he didn’t plan to. Just knowing the message was there was enough to make him nervous.

Iwaizumi changed into his practice clothes with jerky, awkward motions. On a positive note, he was definitely getting stronger. His chest was starting to stretch out the thin material of his t-shirt. His sleeves strained slightly around his biceps.

“Hey, Iwaizumi. Did you get my text last night?” Hanamaki asked, sneaking up behind him.

Iwaizumi startled as Hanamaki put his stuff on the shelf next to Oikawa’s things. (Oikawa wasn’t in the clubroom. He had kept the key to stay late yesterday, and he had to come in early to unlock the gym. Iwaizumi hadn’t seen him yet today, but that was okay. He wasn’t sure he could face him right now, anyway.)

“No,” Iwaizumi answered honestly, rolling on extra deodorant.

Hanamaki pressed his lips together. “Okay... Well, I would highly recommend it, okay? Like maybe read it before we go into practice,” he said. Iwaizumi felt the color drain from his face, and Hanamaki put his hands up in surrender. “Hey, don’t worry, it’s nothing bad or... weird or anything. It’s a nice text, I promise.” His smile wavered. “Just read it, okay?”

Iwaizumi held his breath for a second, puffing out his cheeks. “...Yeah, okay,” he eventually agreed.

Hanamaki smiled. “Cool.” He pulled on his clothes in a whirlwind as Iwaizumi tied his laces. Hanamaki crammed his feet into his shoes. “I gotta go, okay? Its my job to help set up the net this morning. See you in a few minutes?”

“Yep,” Iwaizumi agreed, fishing through his bag for his phone. Hanamaki smiled when he saw Iwaizumi pull it out and shot him a wink and finger guns before leaving the clubroom.

Hanamaki (8:07)
Okay, well hear me out: I’m not trying to get on your case. If you don’t like Oikawa, and I’m like... alone on the whole crushing-super-hard-on-your-best-friend thing, that’s like... whatever. I’m used to it.

Hanamaki (8:07)
I just want you to know that if you DID like Oikawa, that it would be okay, you know?

Hanamaki (8:08)
It wouldn’t change anything because if you DO like him, then admitting it is just... admitting it. It’s not going from not having a crush to ACTUALLY having a crush. It’s just going from ACTUALLY having a crush to ADMITTING you actually have a crush.

Hanamaki (8:09)
If that makes sense.

Hanamaki (8:09)
It definitely doesn’t make sense.

Hanamaki (8:09)
But like... if you do like him, and you admit it, I’m like... here for you, you know? We’ll get through it together. So don’t be scared. I got you, bro.

Hanamaki (8:09)
I GOT YOU.

Iwaizumi frowned down at his phone. His shoulders pinched together when he realized his bottom lip was wobbling. He looked up at the ceiling, blinking quickly to hold back tears.

He didn’t want to have a crush on Oikawa. He just wanted to be his friend. He liked taking care of him, and he liked how Oikawa trusted him with things he didn’t trust anyone else with, sure, but... But Iwaizumi didn’t know how he felt about kissing him. He didn’t know how he felt about holding Oikawa’s hand.

The thought of dating Oikawa –and all the things that came with it- felt stressful. But Iwaizumi couldn’t tell if he was stressed because he didn’t want to do those things, or if it was because he felt like doing those things was wrong. After all, normal people didn’t think about their childhood best friends like that.

Or, at least, Iwaizumi didn’t think they did.

Just thinking about it was enough to stress Iwaizumi out. Even if he did have a crush on Oikawa, it wouldn’t matter. He had a girlfriend.

Iwaizumi tried to push it all to the back of his mind. It was too early in the morning to think about Oikawa as more than a friend, even if he did have Hanamaki’s unwavering support. He came here for volleyball.

He came here for volleyball.

Iwaizumi met the rest of the team in the gym. The other first years were already getting started on stretches, so Iwaizumi got on the ground to join them. Oikawa was reaching for his toes, and Iwaizumi mentally cursed how tall he had grown in their years apart.

“You read my text, Iwa?” Hanamaki asked.

“Yeah.”

“Cool,” Hanamaki said, nodding.

The morning was mostly for conditioning, so once the team was stretched out, Morioka had everyone do circuits for the first quarter of the hour. Iwaizumi thought about how relaxed Oikawa looked while he did his burpees. Meanwhile, Iwaizumi was so agitated that he felt like he was shoving the earth away from him -rather than pushing his torso up- with every push up he did.

Oikawa always concentrated when he did mountain climbers. Iwaizumi thought about how cute it was to watch his tongue poke out the side of his mouth while he did math problems.

Halfway through practice, Hanamaki elbowed him in the side. “Hey, are you okay?” he asked. Iwaizumi only grunted. “Yeah, okay, that’s an answer,” Hanamaki snickered, patting his shoulder before running to get the ball cart. They had serving and receiving practice up next.

Iwaizumi got in the receiving line. On the opposite side of the court, Oikawa was in line to serve.

The lines moved up slowly. Iwaizumi counted the people in front of him and realized that Oikawa would be the one serving to him. His nose twitched. He had gotten pretty good at receiving Oikawa’s serves, considering how often Oikawa spent the afternoon at his house and how often they hung back in the gym together. Oikawa’s favorite thing to practice was serving, which left Iwaizumi in the receiving position. Iwaizumi knew he would have to be on his toes, but he wasn’t as worried as one of the other first years might be if they were in his place.

Oikawa came up to the back line and grabbed a volleyball from the cart with one hand. Iwaizumi’s own fingers twitched. He couldn’t palm a volleyball like Oikawa could.

The confidence surrounding Oikawa when he was about to serve was intimidating in and of itself. It didn’t help that Iwaizumi knew the power loaded in Oikawa’s right shoulder intimately well.

Iwaizumi widened his stance a little further, his body coiled and ready.

Oikawa spun the ball between his hands. He smirked at Iwaizumi from across the net. “Iwa-chan, don’t worry if you miss it! You’re only a first year, you still have a lot to learn!”

“You’re only a first year, too, idiot!” Iwaizumi yelled back, but Oikawa’s grin only grew wider. Iwaizumi was pissed off for a moment, but then Oikawa tossed the ball into the air.

It wasn’t often that Iwaizumi really looked at Oikawa while he was serving. Usually, his eyes were on the ball, not Oikawa’s body. But out of the corner of his eye, Iwaizumi noticed just how long Oikawa’s strides were as he ran to jump, and that was all it took to distract him.

Iwaizumi took in the straight line of Oikawa’s arms, the height of his jump, the way his long legs tucked up beneath him as he leapt up for the ball. His shoulder rotated so fast, the hair above his ear was disturbed by the force of it. It fluttered across his cheek.

The ball zoomed by Iwaizumi’s hip before he had even registered the sound of Oikawa’s broad palm snapping against the leather.

Iwaizumi didn’t even move. He couldn’t have even if he wanted to.

The rest of the team cheered for Oikawa, praising him for his amazing serve. Meanwhile, Iwaizumi walked stiffly to the end of the line on the opposite side of the court. His heart felt like it was taking up way too much room in his chest; his breathing was shallow.

He stared at the side of Oikawa’s smiling face as they switched sides and realized that denial could only last so long.

The shrill sound of a girl cheering made Iwaizumi snap out of it. He looked up to the catwalk, and saw Aya cheering and waving. Iwaizumi’s stomach dropped. Meanwhile, Oikawa’s eyes were shut up in a massive smile as he waved to his girlfriend on the balcony.

Iwaizumi closed his eyes and tried to shut everything out.

Iwaizumi threw open the door to his house, tears brewing behind his eyes. He dropped his bag on the floor and kicked off his shoes. “Mom?” he yelled, voice urgent. “Mom?!”

“Hajime?” came his mom’s surprised response from upstairs. She barreled down the steps a moment later, worry clear on her face. “What are you doing home so early? What happened to volleyball practice? Are you okay? Is something wro-“

Iwaizumi cut her off by literally throwing himself at her. He clutched onto her with both arms, not caring if he was suffocating her in a hug. He needed his mom. She was just going to have to get over it.

The second she wrapped her arms around him, Iwaizumi felt tears finally fall from his eyes. “Oh, honey,” she cooed. “What happened?”

Iwaizumi’s shoulders wracked. All day, he had wanted to come home to his mom and cry, but now that he was here, he felt so stupid. He was a first year in high school. He shouldn’t be clutching to his mom like this; he wasn’t an elementary school kid whose best friend had just moved away. He was fifteen, and Oikawa was probably asking for him at afternoon practice.

“Hajime, you’re scaring me. What happened?” his mother asked again.

Iwaizumi pulled away, wiping uselessly at his eyes. His chest heaved. “O-Oikawa h-has a girlfriend,” he managed to choke out. He didn’t look up to see his mom’s reaction. He didn’t know if he could handle it. He squeaked more than he spoke. “And... And, mom, I’m s-so jealous, I just-“

He broke off with a sob. He had been holding back tears all through class, and now that he was home, he couldn’t hold back. It was so awful to sit in the desk in front of Aya and hear her gossip about Oikawa behind his back. If he were dating Oikawa, he would be such a good boyfriend. He would love Oikawa so much because he already did. He already loved Oikawa so unbelievably much. He should be the one dating him, not Aya.

“Hajime, love, just calm down, take deep breaths,” his mother said. She rubbed his back as he tried to calm down. “Let’s get you out of the doorway, hun.” Iwaizumi let his mom lead him into the living room. She sat him down on the couch and disappeared. A few minutes later she came back with a mug of hot tea. “Little sips,” she instructed.

Iwaizumi grabbed the cup and drank from it slowly. His hands were shaking, but he was starting to feel like he could breathe again.

His mom patted his knee. “There you go. You’re okay,” she promised.

“But I’m not,” Iwaizumi croaked. “I don’t want Oikawa to have a girlfriend. I want him to be dating me.”

“I know,” his mom replied sympathetically. She didn’t seem surprised by the information at all, and Iwaizumi figured that if Hanamaki could tell he had a crush on Oikawa, his mom must have known too. “I’m sorry he’s seeing someone else, that must feel so awful, huh?”

Iwaizumi nodded, his chin quivering. He stared into his tea.

Meanwhile, his mom rubbed his arm caringly. “You do so much for him. It must be hard to see him taking care of someone else.”

Iwaizumi made a keening noise. “Yeah,” he agreed, scrunching his eyes closed.

It was exhausting, sometimes, to care for Oikawa. He didn’t take care of himself; he was too embarrassed and insecure to ask for help or take breaks. Iwaizumi didn’t mind being there for him. He didn’t mind helping him with his homework or making him leave the gym when it got too late. It was all worth it when Oikawa smiled at him or nearly sat in his lap on the train ride home.

But to know that Oikawa was doing those things and more for Aya...

Iwaizumi started sniffling again.

“Hey, what’s going on in here?” Iwaizumi’s dad asked dumbly when he came through the front door. He had grocery bags piled up in each arm, and he had to use his foot to close the door behind him.

Iwaizumi’s mom was the one to answer. “Oikawa has found himself a girlfriend,” she said.

“And it’s not Hajime?”

Iwaizumi put his tea down so he could flop face first into the couch cushions. He groaned. “I couldn’t be a girlfriend even if I wanted to be!” he exclaimed, frustrated.

“Oh,” his dad replied. “Hold on.”

Iwaizumi’s mom rubbed his back as his dad put away his groceries. Iwaizumi kept his face planted in the couch cushions. He was embarrassed. His crush was more obvious than he had realized, if even his dad could understand his jealousy without being told. Usually his dad was slow to pick up on feelings. The whole team must know about his crush on Oikawa.

His dad came back in a second, dusting his hands off on his pants. “So Oikawa is dating some girl?” he asked, making Iwaizumi groan into the sofa again.

“Yes,” his mom answered.

“What a bitch,” his dad said. Iwaizumi sat up, surprised. His dad’s eyes widened. “What?”

“She’s not a bitch!” Iwaizumi said, shocked.

His dad waved him off. “She must be,” he said, and Iwaizumi couldn’t help but laugh. Meanwhile, his dad continued, oblivious. “Anyone who gets in the way of you and Tooru getting together is a waste of my time.”

“Dad, what he heck?” Iwaizumi asked. His smile was slow to leave his face.

His dad clapped him on the shoulder. “Don’t worry, son. Oikawa will realize that this girl –whoever she is- isn’t the real deal. You’ll get his attention, I’m sure of it,” he said confidently.

Iwaizumi winced. “I’m not so sure about that.”

“Nonsense,” his dad argued. “With the amount of time that boy spends over here, and the way he looks up to you... It’s only a matter of time,” he promised.

Iwaizumi shrugged, his bottom lip wobbling again. His mother thrust his tea back into his hands, and Iwaizumi took a couple sips before he could start crying again. He felt stupid for ever being upset in the first place.

However, his parents seemed adamant that things would work out. While Iwaizumi wasn’t sure how –Oikawa only dated girls, he never dated boys- it was still reassuring. Maybe there was hope for him and Oikawa yet.