Chapter Text
“Darling, may I take my order?” The sharp and tall women called, specifically asking for a certain waitress. A few seconds roll by, and a beautifully-majestic-looking girl takes a step out of the kitchen doors. “Yes, love?” Columbina says, playing along although already knowing what her darling will order. “Two ‘Hearthfire’s trail’s if you may?” Arlecchino asks, wearing a smile only Columbina finds sweet. “Of course, my love,” She responds, her black-and-pink-faded locks swiftly move through the air as she politely walks back to the kitchen to prepare her meal.
Although the cafe she ran was quite popular, the only employee was her. Surprisingly, Columbina was always able to keep the business running smoothly. After about five minutes, Columbina returns with a freshly cooked meal to serve her one and only. The water vapor emits from the food as she gently places it down on Arlecchinos table.
“Ah, thank you, darling,” she says, her dark eyes glare at the delicious-looking meal. She then takes a bite, “Mmm, this is just thhee fire! (/ref) (update: I WRPTE THIS OVER A YEAR AGO OKAY IT SEEMS CORNY NOW BUT AJJAWNNSSJ YOU WOULD UNDERSTAND IT IFYOU EXSISTED IN MID-2024)” Arlecchino oddly says(?)
“Uhh…, pardon?” “Ah, apologies, just one of those slangs the kids use. I don’t understand them anyway.” Columbina lets out a soft chuckle as her soulmate takes another bite. “Thi- Wait…, is that…?” She questions, debating if what she is seeing is reality as she closely inspects it “A strand of hair…? This isn’t my hair…, it’s light blue…so it’s not your hair either…is this…”
Her sentence trails off in realization as soon as she understands that the love of her life is a traitor.
“…This is…Dottore’s hair isn’t it…? How did his hair get in here…are…are you cheating on me…?” Holding the strand of hair up, as if it were a strange test specimen. Both of their eyes lock in with each other’s, not acknowledging the amount of people staring in shock.
“W-What…?” Columbina cries, stumbling a few steps back, almost tripping before catching herself back up mid-air.
“Y-You…,YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THAT WRINKLY OLD BITCH…??! I-I THOUGHT YOU KNEW BETTER THAN TO STAB ME IN THE BACK FOR THAT STUPID HOE!!?” Arlecchino immediately stood up from her seat, slamming the table with both arms.
“ME..?? I-I DI-DIDN’T…!! WELL- I CAN EXPLAIN…!” She whales, trying to reassure her it is not what she is repeating over and over in her head. “N-NO…NO YOU CAN’T…! WHAT CAN YOU EVEN DO TO SAVE YOURSELF FROM THIS…?!”
“I- WAIT! How did you know that was Dottore’s hair..? I thought you both haven’t contacted with each other since kindergarten..?”
“UUUHH…” Then…, a figure suddenly burst through the front doors
“THAT’S RIGHT, BITCHES!!! I WAS THE MASTERMIND OVER THIS THE WHOLE TIME!!!!!!” The ugly man named Dottore that-I-hate-very-much-that’s-why-I-made-him-a-villain-in-this-fan-fic says.
“WHAT THE FUCK.” They both shout in disgust. “GO FUCK YOURSELF!!!!!!” They both say in unison. “WELL…, MAYBE YOU SHOULD FUCK YOURSELF TOO…!!!!” Hideous man named Dottore says, trying to make a comeback to the words the gorgeous ladies said. The two beautiful women then start lusciously making out. “WHAT THE FUCK” The most eye-wrenching thing to look at, labeled Dottore, says as the amazing lovely mademoiselles enjoy their time together. Dookie then dies from pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis and the world is saved.