Chapter Text
“Hi Viktorija!!”
“Heyyy!”
“In the groupchat, we all feel you deserve a break.” Amalia said, her voice laced with trickery.
“What are you implying there?”
“Nothing…”
“Right…”
“Basically, we paid for you to go on a retreat in the Lake District, so we like, shared the cost together so you can relax. There’s a few rules but I’m sure you won’t mind.” She was really laying it on thick now, but Viktorija didn’t notice.
Little did she know she would be spending her “relaxing retreat” with her sworn frenemy, Bobby.
Bobby took a little more convincing, but he eventually agreed to meet at the caravan park in one week. Viktorija was in despair at the fact she wasn’t allowed her phone (or more likely, her precious TikToks), but was consoled by the fact she’d be spending the week with a friend. Viktorija, assuming it was Amalia, was incredibly pleased. Bobby, assuming it was Amalia, was quite disappointed.
Before we continue, some statements from the other members of this esteemed groupchat:
Amalia (The Host):
“im rlly excited to see how they’ll cope with each other, i do hope they come out in one piece..”
Finnley (The Optimist):
“i think that this is a wonderful idea and opportunity for people to get to know each other better -finnegan”
Poppy (Invested in the Drama):
“I think this is gonna be the best of anything I've seen these days. I just wonder which one of them will make it out alive”
Julia (Awaiting Violence):
“What are they going to do? Ignore eachother, attack eachother? Whatever it will be I'm sure it will be hilarious”
☆
The next week flew by as the group scrambled to try and keep Viktorija and Bobby from telling each other about their mysterious paid holidays- coincidentally at the same place and the same time- which was proving to be the most difficult part of the plot.
Bobby stepped out of his car, breathing in the fresh air of the caravan park, ready for his relaxing holiday. Trees, a calming breeze, sun and Viktorija. A perfect combination- wait.. Viktorija???
“Ew what’s she doing here?”
“Ew what’s he doing here?”
“Oh yeah, about that.”
☆
“You did what?” said Bobby.
“I need to make a TikTok about this.” said Viktorija.
“Yep. We’re all sick of your bickering so we sent you away on holiday together, forced to stay in close proximity all week.”
“We do not bicker.” Viktorija stated.
“Yes we do though.”
“What?! We literally, like, never argue.”
“Yes we do!!”
Amalia could only shake her head as they began to bicker.
☆
“And you all funded this?”
“Oh yeah, wasn’t even that much between six people.”
Bobby’s eyes slowly drifted apart as he realised just how mischievous his friends had been.
“I can literally just leave though.”
“Oh yeah, we don’t have to do this, Amalia.” Viktorija added.
“Nope. You lot signed legal agreements.”
“What? No I didn’t.”
“Viktorija, don’t you remember the Terms and Conditions?”
Bobby put his head in his hands.
“Ohhh my god- no one reads those Amal.”
“I know.” Amalia replied, her voice evilly sweet.
“Uhm uhm uhm, I didn’t have my overlay, I couldn't legally read them.”
“Oh Viktoe, don’t worry, I made sure they were blue just for you.” She got the document open on her phone. “You both agreed multiple times to ‘comply with the rules of the challenge’ and ‘not back out of the agreements after the challenge had begun.’”
Bobby and Viktorija looked at Amalia with absolute defeat, there really was no way out. They had to spend an entire week in each other’s company.
Viktorija was overcome with violence (which was extremely common for her), and started trying to bite Amalia. Bobby turned and also began to chase after her, going for the hair. While they didn’t share any words, it was recorded as one of the few moments they had agreed on anything. It seems the experiment was already working, albeit in a less than ideal way.
“HEY! YOU’RE MEANT TO FIGHT EACH OTHER NOT MEEE!”
☆
“Hello all, and welcome to the pre-show interviews, guided by your lovely host! Are we ready for some juicy secrets?“
“What secrets? It’s literally just us.” Viktorija asked.
“Yeah, and who’s the ‘lovely host’? That’s just you in a bowtie, and after this experiment you are not lovely.” Bobby added, at which Amalia put her hand on her heart as a hurt expression came about her face.
“Guys.. you’re ruining it…”
“Good!” They said in unison.
“Ugh, no respect for show-biz these days… Let’s just get into it, starting with Viktorija!”
“Oh god.”
They came to a manufactured stage area, and by stage, I do just mean a raised platform on the grass with a pull-out chair for the one and only audience member. It was quite a nice chair, but Bobby, being in his absolutely uncalled for mood, wouldn’t have told you so.
“So, Viktorija, how are you feeling about the experiment?”
“Uhm, uhm… Amalia?”
“Yeah?”
“Can I come to your house?”
“No.”
“What about tomorrow?”
“Also no.”
“Okay, but like, when are you free?”
“Never! Ugh, forget it. What’s your favourite thing about Bobby?”
“When I beat him in Rivals.”
“So never, thanks.” Bobby rudely interrupted from his camping chair in the audience.
“What about your least favourite thing about him?”
Viktorija looked unsure, her gaze flicking from Bobby to Amalia and back again.
“Aw don’t be shy I’m sure he won’t be offended.”
“Yes I will.”
“Right.”
“Okay so he’s always like, hating on games after only playing them for like five minutes. He’s always criticising me-“
“Rude!”
“Oh and he’s really annoying on group calls, like he won’t let me speak- oh my god and-!”
With much difficulty, Amalia eventually dragged Viktorija off of the stage to get her to stop ranting. After the pair had got her to one- sit down, and two- shut up, they could continue with Bobby’s interview.
“Sorry for the delay everyone!”
“Whose everyone? I’m the only one here- and I was the delay!”
“Viktorija, don't make me get the sellotape out already… Anyways, Bobby! Hello!”
“You didn’t say hello to me.”
“Viktoenail just shut up!” Bobby burst out in anger.
Now, we can actually continue with the interview, as Viktorija’s mouth has been firmly taped shut.
“How are you feeling about the experiment?”
“I feel like I want to sue you. And them.”
“Well, you can’t sue us, those terms and conditions were legally binding.”
“Get me my hat, my head is cold.”
“Okay diva, I’ll get your hat after this. What’s your favourite thing about Viktorija?”
“More like least favourite.”
Viktorija could only squeak in offense.
“We’ll get to that later, I need your favourite.”
“First, get me my hat, or my head will bobble off, as the wise Poppy once said.”
“Ugh fine, drama queen.”
Amalia did, in fact, run to the caravan to grab Bobby’s hat from his luggage.
“Amal, this is the wrong hat.”
“You look like the wrong hat.” Viktorija tried to say under the tape.
“Well you look like you can’t flippin’ speak properly! What are you looking at, go get the hat!”
“Oh my god, I don’t care about your hat- just answer the question, it's not that hard!” Amalia replied, visibly frustrated.
“I’m only trying to be annoying-“ Bobby said, although it seemed he did not quite mean to.
“You what? Well you don’t even have to try, you absolute melt. Just get off the stage, I'm done with you two already. Can’t wait for my week of fecking peace.”
“Oh yeah, go for it.” Bobby murmured to himself. He seemed to be trying to be mysterious now, which usually would fail, but ended up quite successful as Amalia was too annoyed to listen to him.
☆
“I hope the caravan is decent, after all the trauma Amal has put us through.”
Bobby soon found out it was in fact of decent quality, Amalia is actually quite a generous lovely person (wouldn’t you know it). It was clean, stocked with the inhabitants favourite snacks, and nicely decorated, though a little on the small side. Their friends could only afford so much, after all. Either way, it meant the pair had to spend even more time together, so they took it as a win.
Viktorija had to drag herself up the steps and inside; too much social interaction during the interviews. She couldn’t even doomscroll until one o’clock in the morning- what was she meant to do with herself?
Both parties felt mocked at the arrangements, Amalia had always told them to get off their phones and go to sleep, but they never listened. Now she was forcing them to do so, or face the worst. Having to talk to each other. Just the thought of it sent shivers down their spines.
“Oh Bobby just shut up-“ Viktorija snapped at the small boy, who, to be fair, wasn’t even talking.
“In your dreams.”
“Shut up! Let’s just go to bed.”
Murmurs of agreement followed. Viktorija and Bobby went towards where they reckoned the bedrooms would be.
“THERE’S ONLY ONE BEDROOM?”