Chapter Text
Days stacked together and built into another week. Sonic made himself as small as possible in those days. He stayed in his small shelter in the attic most of the time, either sleeping or trying to keep himself from falling apart. He clung to the owl stuffy like it was a part of his soul. He held onto it when he slept, curling around it protectively. He took it wherever he was, keeping it pinned to his chest.
He avoided being out in the open if it was possible. He refused to eat at the table, or even around the table. Either Tom or Maddie had to bring a plate up to the attic to him, gently coaxing him out of the tent. Even then he would sniff it warily, asking if he needed punishment to eat.
“Sonic?” Maddie stepped onto the attic floor, plate of food in hand. Sonic stiffened, tightening a blanket around his shoulders. Maddie crouched in front of the tent, pulling the curtain to the side a bit. “Hey honey,” she said quietly, “Are you hungry? It’s noon.” Sonic pushed himself against the wall nervously. Maddie set the plate to the side, lowering her head. “Come on, it’s okay,” she coaxed gently. Sonic let out a quiet whimper. Maddie clicked her tongue quietly, patting the floor in front of her. “I won’t hurt you, I promise. You must be hungry, you didn’t eat breakfast this morning.”
Sonic hesitantly reached his paw forward before withdrawing.
“There you go, it’s just a few feet, you can do it.”
He carefully creeped forward, poking his head out of the curtain. Maddie slowly pushed the plate closer to him, being sure not to make any sudden movements. His nose twitched and he gave her a questioning look.
“You don’t need punishment to eat, I promise,” Maddie reassured. Sonic dragged the paper plate into the tent, giving Maddie one last look. He ducked back inside. Maddie sighed, standing up to leave.
Sonic also hadn’t spoken in several days. He would hang around downstairs, keeping a safe distance from everyone around him. After a week, he fell asleep at the foot of the couch. Maddie went into the attic, thinking that his blankets could probably use a wash. She opened the curtain, noticing the stuffed owl laying in the corner. She reached for it, picking up the small thing. Her heart squeezed when she felt how the fake fur had dried hard in some places, probably from tears.
Maddie thought she would wash it for him. She took the rest of his blankets out, and took off his pillow cases. She padded down the stairs, being sure that he didn’t wake up. She threw his stuff into the washer, turning the machine on.
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Sonic blinked his eyes open with a yawn. His fingers dug through the strands of the rug. He stretched, arching his back. He blinked groggily, lifting his head off the floor. Sonic felt around him. His eyes snapped all the way open when he realized the stuffed owl wasn’t near him. He searched under the couch, reaching his arm underneath.
He stood up, running up the stairs at normal speed. The muscles in his legs twinged painfully at the motion. Sonic scrambled over to the tent in the attic, flying inside. Panic clawed at his insides when he noticed most everything inside gone. Tears welled in his eyes when he realized the stuffed owl wasn’t in there either.
“No, I can’t-I can’t-” he breathed. He panickedly skidded out of the attic and downstairs.
Maddie turned her head when she heard pounding come down the stairs from where she was standing in the kitchen, phone in hand. Sonic suddenly ran into the kitchen, reaching out for her. He stopped in front of her, the tears in his eyes threatening to fall.
“Where is she?” he yelled. Maddie was stunned for a second that he was talking at all. She quickly shook her head, crouching down in front of him.
“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?”
Sonic panted, trembling violently. “Please, I can’t find her, where is she? I’ll be good I promise, I’ll take punishment willingly, please, I need her back…” A tear dared to slip down his muzzle. Maddie wiped it off his face with her thumb.
“Who are you talking about honey?” she asked softly. Sonic sniffed.
“Where is she? She’s alone and scared and hurting and she thinks no one is coming for her and she’s being punished every day for things she can’t even remember doing and he keeps saying they’re lessons and they are, but they hurt so much and-”
“Sonic, it’s okay, who are you talking about?” Maddie asked, concern creeping into her tone.
“My-um-uh…” he gestured with his paws, as if he was holding something invisible. “The-the-my-” Sonic stuttered, already losing his voice again. Maddie’s eyes widened.
“Are you talking about the owl?” Sonic nodded frantically. “Okay, hey, it’s fine, I just put her in the wash a little while ago, I didn’t take her because you were bad, she was just dirty,” Maddie told him quietly. His tail started swinging behind him.
“Can I see her?” he croaked.
“Yeah, yeah that’s fine,” Maddie answered. She stood up, taking Sonic’s paw with her. They padded to the laundry where the washer was whirring loudly. The skylight showed the gray overcast sky above them. Sonic held his other paw to his mouth, taking a sharp breath when he saw the load of blankets spinning in the washer. He let go of Maddie’s hand, stepping up to the glass door of the washer. Maddie’s heart squeezed when a whimper ripped out of his throat.
“It should be done soon, I put it in about twenty minutes ago,” she said quietly. Sonic put his paw on the door, trying to spot a flash of brown.
“This is just a little punishment so you can be good, okay?” he whispered the words he had heard so many times already under his breath. “You’re going to be really good after this…” He sat down in front of the washer, keeping his eyes on the spinning load. Maddie left him alone, keeping one ear trained on the laundry room.
Sonic watched the washer spin around and around, nearly nodding off a few times. His desperation grew as the minutes wore on. Rain began gently hitting the skylight in the ceiling above him. His good ear twitched at the sound. He jumped when the washer rang. He stood, ripping the door open. The smell of detergent billowed out of the door. Sonic dug through the damp load desperately. He gasped.
He reeled back, the stuffed owl clutched tightly to his chest. He landed on his back, curling tightly around the owl. He gasped shakily, too afraid to say anything. Maddie padded into the doorway, her heart breaking at the sight of him. She crouched down near him, not completely sure what to do.
“Honey, are you okay?” she asked him quietly. He nodded, lifting his head to look at her.
“She’s all wet,” he barely croaked. Maddie smiled sadly.
“Do you want me to put it in the dryer?”
Sonic’s eyes widened. “You want to take her away?” he whispered, clutching the stuffy harder to his chest. The fur on his chest grew damp as water dripped out of the owl.
“No, no, she would just be in there for an hour, just to dry it off, okay honey?” she tried to reassure him. Sonic looked at her, wide eyed. “Do you want her to be cold?” Maddie asked. He shook his head. “Please? It’ll just be for a little bit, I’ll give her right back.”
Sonic looked at her for a long moment. He pressed his muzzle into the damp fur before slowly holding out the stuffed animal. Maddie smiled at him, gently taking the owl from his paw. “Please, please don’t hurt her,” Sonic pleaded, “She’s really scared…” Maddie knew he wasn’t really talking about the stuffed owl.
“I won’t, I promise.”
She moved his other blankets into the dryer before carefully putting the owl inside. Its head flopped over a bit. Sonic waved slowly as Maddie closed the door.
“Bye…”
His throat burned as Maddie closed the door, turning the machine on. A thin whine escaped his throat.
“Hey, it’ll only be for an hour, okay? She’ll be all warm and dry by then, all right?” Sonic looked up at her with a small nod.
“Okay…”
Maddie carefully smoothed the fur on his head, leaving the room.
Sonic turned back to the dryer. The machine shook as the inside spun. He sat back down on the floor in front of the dryer. Time passed slowly, pulling against his fur. He nearly nodded off a few more times.
Why am I so tired all the time?
He yawned again, his claws unsheathing. Rain continued to fall on the skylight, the sound filling the room over the dryer. The dryer rang, knocking Sonic out of his trance. He stood up, reaching for the door. He opened it, a billow of hot air coming out. He couldn’t breathe in the cloud of it. He dug through his blankets, desperately trying to find the owl.
Sonic let out a relieved breath when he saw a spot of brown in the load. He nervously glanced towards the door for a second. He reached inside the dryer, pulling himself inside. Oh god, it was so warm. He grabbed the owl, hugging it close. The small light inside shone warm inside. He couldn’t help a purr build in his throat as he pressed his muzzle into the warm around him. He pulled a blanket around himself, wrapping himself in the warmth.
His eyelids grew heavy as he laid there.
No. Don’t fall asleep. Not again. Not again! You’re so lazy and useless, all you do is sleep and take everything! Get up and-
Just be quiet. Please. I’m so done, just leave me alone, Sonic thought to the voice. The voice quieted. He let his eyes close, his gentle purring echoing in the small space.
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Maddie stared into the fridge, wondering what she could make for dinner quick enough before she had to leave for work. She looked up, realizing that the dryer probably went off awhile ago. She left for the laundry room, looking into it. Sonic wasn’t inside. Maddie cocked her head in confusion. The dryer’s door was cracked open.
She padded up to the dryer and opened it. She flinched when she saw what was inside.
Sonic was asleep, buried in the tangle of blankets. He was softly purring, the owl stuffy held close. His bad ear flicked slightly at the rush of cool air. He blinked his eyes open, looking up at Maddie. “Ma…?” he murmured.
“Shh, it’s okay, you can sleep,” Maddie reassured him. He blinked at her slowly one more time before closing his eyes. She leaned in, kissing his forehead. “You get your rest baby,” she whispered. Sonic’s brow twitched. He looked so much younger when he was asleep. She was grateful he didn’t seem to be having any nightmares.
She pulled away, letting him sleep. Maddie thought that if she made hot dogs that maybe he would eat at the table. She went to get ready for work as she set them to cook. She had her scrubs on and was in the kitchen when Tom came home.
“Hey,” he called to her. Tom glanced around after they kissed hello. “Where are the kids?”
“Tails and Knuckles are upstairs,” Maddie explained.
“And Sonic is…?”
She smiled. Tom followed her as she headed towards the laundry room. Maddie crouched in front of the dryer, putting her finger to her lips. She opened the already cracked open door. Tom’s face lit up as he crouched next to her. He saw Sonic burrowed in the blankets, his breath coming in even huffs.
“I think we adopted the cutest kid in existence,” he said quietly. Maddie snickered.
“I made hot dogs. I was hoping he’d try and eat with us,” she said. Tom reached in, stroking the fur on Sonic’s head. Sonic shifted, lifting his head a bit. He blinked a few times, clearing the sleep from his eyes.
“Da… Daddy…?” he slurred quietly.
“Hi baby,” Tom answered softly. He softly clicked his tongue. “You wanna come out now bud?” Sonic blankly stared at him for a few seconds. He gently picked up the stuffed owl in his teeth, slowly pulling himself out of the dryer. He shrank back as his fur was hit by cold air. “Come on, come here,” Tom grunted, pulling him out. Sonic yowled quietly in protest. He held the stuffy in his arms, holding onto the only warmth at the moment. Maddie laughed softly.
“Aren’t you hungry?” she asked.
“Can’t…” Sonic slurred. Tom shifted him, facing him towards his chest.
“But are you hungry?” he asked again. Sonic hesitated. His eyes flicked to the floor more than once.
“Yes…” he whispered.
“Then let’s go eat dinner, okay?” Maddie said, heading out of the laundry room. Tom followed her, Sonic still in his arms. Maddie went to get Tails and Knuckles from the attic.
“Do you wanna try eating at the table?” Tom asked quietly. Sonic stared at his face, terror gripping his chest. He shook his head. Tom kissed his forehead. “You can sit with me. I won’t mind. You don’t even have to eat anything. I just wanna see you at the table.” Sonic hesitated. He didn’t want to be disobedient. He slowly nodded. Tom walked behind the island, grabbing plates with Sonic still propped on his shoulder. The other three came down the stairs.
They all had themselves settled around the table in a few minutes. Tom stood by his chair, giving Sonic quiet reassurances. Sonic squeezed the owl in his arms. He started to panic as Tom tried to sit down.
“No no no no no no, please please please please please, put me down, please, I’ll get in trouble, I-I don’t want punishment, sir, put me down, please-” Sonic squirmed in his arms. Tom froze, standing up again. Sonic kicked at his arms, near tears. Tom quickly put him down, letting him run out of the dining room. He skidded around the corner into the hallway, leaning against the wall. He pulled at the fur on his chest, panting heavily.
Everyone stared at the place where Sonic disappeared. “I knew he wouldn’t be ready,” Maddie whispered. Tails got out of his chair without a word. He quietly padded into the hallway, seeing Sonic sitting against the wall, his muzzle tilted towards the ceiling. He glanced at Tails, his good ear flattening to his head.
Tails gently sat down near him, too far away to crowd him. Sonic shrank into himself, pulling his knees up to his chest. “I’m-I’m sorry, I can't eat at the table, I don’t belong up there… I’ll get in trouble-” He chewed on his arm, feeling how easily it would be to break skin. Tails scooted a little closer. Sonic held the stuffed owl in the crook of his neck, shooting Tails a nervous glance.
“Is it okay if I come closer?” he asked. Sonic shook his head. “Okay.” Tails leaned back, giving him his space. He let the silence stretch between them for a second. “You know we won’t hurt you, right?”
“That’s what they all say,” Sonic whispered. “You won’t hurt me if I’m good, but I’m always so bad all the time.”
“What makes you think that?”
“I’m so stupid and disobedient and lazy… I’m just so tired of being scared all the time. But I have to be scared. Pets don’t deserve anything more. I have to be obedient and good,” Sonic said, his brow furrowing in determination. Tails’ ears flattened.
“Sonic… that’s not how that works… We told you that you’re not a pet. Not here. You’re safe here,” he told him. Sonic shook his head. Tails slowly reached his hand over, slow enough for Sonic to see it coming. He laced Sonic’s fingers into his own. “Is this okay?” he asked softly. Sonic nodded. He sat there for a few long minutes. Awkward silence swelled out of the dining room. Tails finally stood up slowly, his paw still holding Sonic’s. “Come on, it’s okay,” he encouraged softly. Sonic shakily got to his feet, the stuffed owl tucked under his arm. Tails let him lean his weight against him, nuzzling him softly.
Tom glanced up as they came into the room. He smiled as Sonic stopped in front of his chair with Tails. He let go of his paw, heading to his own chair. Sonic kept his arm outstretched for a second before holding his paw to his mouth. “Are you feeling better?” Tom asked. Sonic nervously nodded. His breath hitched as Tom pulled him into his lap.
Tom gently kissed his temple, feeling Sonic’s heart pound hard and fast. His eyes darted around the table, to the food sitting in front of him. His stomach growled. No. He chewed on his arm, trying to keep himself from crying. He held the stuffed owl in his paw, feeling himself tremble. Tom soothingly rubbed his side, carding his fingers through his fur. Sonic had to keep his leg from kicking when he scratched at a particularly itchy spot on his flank. Everyone around him ate their food, casting him sympathetic glances.
“Are you sure you don’t want to eat anything?” Tom asked, holding his hot dog over his plate. The warm scent reached Sonic’s nose, making his mouth water. And still he shook his head. Sonic shrank away from the food as he ate. He kept chewing on his arm, tasting a bit of blood on his tongue. He chewed harder, feeling his skin rip away under his teeth. “Sonic!” Tom exclaimed.
He glanced up at him then at his arm. Blood dripped from a ragged bite wound. His ears flattened. “I-I-I’m sorry sir, it was an accident, I won’t do it again! I didn’t mean to, please believe me-” His voice cut off when Tom gently held his arm.
“Why don’t we bandage this up, okay?” he asked softly.
“You shouldn’t worry about me sir, I’ll be okay,” Sonic whispered. He didn’t protest when Tom picked him up, holding him to his shoulder.
“I’ll be back,” he told the rest of the table. He padded up the stairs, Sonic still in his arms. Sonic nervously chewed on the wing of the owl stuffy. They reached the upstairs bathroom. Tom set him on the counter, digging through a drawer for bandages. He pulled them out, gently pressing gauze to the bite. Sonic bit down harder on the owl’s wing.
“This just happened by accident?” Tom asked after a moment. Sonic nodded. “Is it because you were scared?” He nodded again. “I guess we’ll have to get you something to take your stress out on, huh?” Sonic stared up at him for a long moment. His eyes flicked to the floor, tears filling his eyes. “Hey, it's okay, you’re not in trouble. It’s not your fault. We’ll find you a better way to take out your anxiety. It’ll all be okay,” Tom reassured him softly.
“But-but what if-” Sonic started, “what if I hurt myself worse? I don’t want to, I don’t want to hurt myself, it just happened, I can’t control it, I’m sorry…” Tears silently slipped down his face. Tom held him to his chest, rocking him slightly.
“Do you know what Maddie told me once?” he asked after a beat of silence. Sonic hummed in answer. “She said that someone brought in their own hedgehog once.” Sonic then looked up at Tom. “It had a bunch of wounds all over its legs. She told the person that it hadn’t been attacked or anything. Hedgehogs sometimes bite themselves when they're really anxious.”
“Really?”
“Yeah bud. It's normal for you to do that. We’ll help you. I promise.”
Sonic looked up at him, blinking away the last of his tears. “Okay…”
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It was late. Way too late for him to be up. The voice in Sonic’s head started screaming at him again. And it had been going on for nearly an hour now. Tears steadily dripped down his muzzle, landing on the floor.
Pet!!! You’re nothing but a pet! You’ll never be anything more than that, so stop trying to fight it! They give you so much and you don’t have any respect for them at all! They shouldn’t call you your family! You are less than them and than everyone! You are just a puny weak pest! You shouldn’t be alive! They should have left you there at sir’s base. They should have-
PLEASE STOP. PLEASE. I’ll do ANYTHING to make you stop… please… Sonic bit on his arm wrapped in bandages from the day before. Pain throbbed hard in his arm. Sonic let out a loud and ugly sob.
Give yourself punishment.
The thought startled him. “What…?” he whispered quietly.
If you give yourself punishment then you won’t be so bad anymore. Just like sir said. Once you get punishment, all the bad is gone.
I’m-I’m not gonna do that to myself!
The voice cackled. You say that now. But what about after hearing so many beat downs from me, hearing how stupid and worthless you are every day, then you’ll have no choice.
It-it was an accident though… Sonic sniffled, too scared to leave himself alone with himself. He pulled himself out of his tent, silently padding towards the door. Tails and Knuckles were breathing deep in sleep. He walked down the stairs, his legs shaking under him. He quickly skittered down the hallway to Tom and Maddie’s room. His heart pounded in his chest as he took the handle in his paw. Sonic squeezed through. “Sir…?” he called quietly across the room, “Ma’am?”
He padded over to Tom’s side of the bed, pulling himself up on the mattress. “Sir?” he whispered again. He pawed at Tom’s neck, waking him up. His brow furrowed.
“What? What is it?”
“Sir…? Please… I can’t sleep… don’t make me leave…” Sonic begged, Tom lifted his head.
“What’s wrong? Why can’t you sleep?” he asked. Sonic picked at Tom’s sleeve. He opened his mouth to explain.
DON’T DO IT.
Why???
They’ll think you’re crazy. They’ll send you away and put you in some nut house full of crazy people and put you on a million medications.
They will? They wouldn’t-would they?
They would. They would leave you there all alone and never come back.
Sonic’s breath hitched. He opened his mouth again. “I’m scared,” he whispered. It wasn’t exactly a lie. Tom sat up a bit, letting Sonic nuzzle into his neck. Tom shushed him, rubbing his fur soothingly.
“What are you so scared of?” he asked.
Sonic didn’t answer immediately.
“I just am.”
Tom stared at him for a long moment. “Okay… okay, come here.” He laid down, letting Sonic curl into his chest. Tom shushed him, stroking the fur between his ears. He kissed his forehead, feeling his small heart slow.
“I’m sorry I can’t handle it,” Sonic whispered.
“Handle what kiddo?”
Sonic stared at his paws for a long moment. “Being normal.”
“Hey, you can handle it, you’re just still healing, you got that?” Tom told him. Tears filled Sonic’s eyes.
“But-but I can’t-I can’t! I can’t do it! I can’t do this anymore…” Sonic’s voice melted into a whine.
“I know it’s hard… It shouldn’t be this hard to live,” Tom whispered. He kept on gently stroking his head. Sonic pressed his chin to Tom’s chest, letting his nose rest under his throat.
“I’m so tired,” he whispered desperately. “I don’t wanna wake up anymore. I’ll just sleep forever. Then I won’t have to get better.” Tom’s heart cracked at his words.
“I’ll help you get better every step of the way. No matter how many times you fall down, I’ll pick you back up again. I love you more than anything Sonic. As my son. Not as anything else. My son.”
Sonic laid there, feeling Tom’s heart beating under his chin. He kept on gently saying supportive words into his ears, who had become accustomed to the harsh yelling of the voice. He gladly took the kind words, letting them lull him to sleep.