Chapter Text
“Spending time” felt like more than a bit of a stretch of the phrase. At least, for Aki.
No, it was far less idyllic. Far more like serving out a sentence with a roommate you can’t get rid of. Unless you killed each other.
Still, with proximity, he’d admit, came some level of familiarity. And even though he hated devils… which he absolutely did… He could understand how someone might argue that he was getting to know the Angel Devil.
They spent most of their time looking up at the sky like a caged bird as if something in the clouds held some kind of answer for them. They didn’t talk much and if they did, it was usually to complain about how living sucked or whatever. And they seemed to avoid eating both human foods and consuming blood.
Which, given that Aki had mostly spent time around Power, seemed atypical. Power was… quite the opposite. Loud. Violent. Boistrous. Pushy. Likely no interest in the sky unless it’s to defeat it. Which was impossible.
Also, Power is loud.
The Angel Devil… Didn’t seem to align with the other devils he’d known.
Which made them interesting. Even if Aki really didn’t want anything to do with them. Or any devil unless it was just to defeat other devils.
Is that all this was?
Deal with devils to kill other devils to make deals with more devils to defeat more devils to…
Would it ever end?
… When he died, he guessed it would end.
Is that why the Angel Devil wanted to die? Were they tired of this too?
… But laying down and giving up didn’t seem right either.
With a groan, Aki slumped into his spot on the couch, wishing his mind would do anything but cycle like this. After a moment, he sat up, opening his mouth to speak before pausing, shutting it…
Then doing the same thing.
“If you want to speak, you should just do it,” Angel sighed, not even looking away from their view of the sky.
Aki scoffed, making Angel smirk just a bit.
“... Why do you want to die?”
The question hung in the air and suddenly Aki felt like the air had been sucked out of the room as he waited for a response.
“Because everyone looks to me for hope,” they explained. “But really, all I do is kill like any other devil.”
“And that’s a reason to give up completely?” Aki asked, his teeth gritted.
“Humans look at me like I’m going to help them and instead I turn them into weapons to be used to kill even more humans. And devils,” they sighed before turning away from the window, eyes fixing instead on Aki’s. “Have you ever had someone look at you like that? Like you were going to save them only to destroy them for some other use?”
Face flashed through Aki’s mind of those he’d sworn quietly to protect and keep safe, twisted in agony or shock as they were wiped from existence almost as quickly as they’d arrived… He gave a curt nod and didn’t deign another response.
“Sometimes I’m not even sure I should feel things,” the devil admitted. “I think I’m more like a machine than a creature. It’s just unfortunate that humans look at me like I’m going to save them. Since when has a devil ever really done something out of the goodness of their heart to help a human?”
“Denji said his little devil pet gave up his heart so Denji could live,” Aki thought out loud. “But at the end of the day, even with humans things are transactional. If we don’t get something out of it, we don’t really bother with it.”
The Angel Devil sighed and turned back toward the window.
“So we’re all just machines then.”
“But we feel things,” Aki admitted quietly, more as a comfort to himself than to the devil. “We’re alive…”
“Feeling things isn’t always good,” Angel hummed. “You felt bad enough that you saved me and that took months off of your already short life…”
I don’t regret it.
“I did,” Aki agreed.
“Why did you save me? You could’ve had much longer to live. Everything I touch dies,” Angel smiled sadly. “So does everything that touches me.”
“Because we’re partners,” Aki cleared his throat.
“So you would risk your life for mine?” Angel laughed, the sound high and light like a windchime. “Now that just seems silly.”
“Because you wouldn’t do the same for me.”
“I would willingly die with or without you.”
“Stop saying that.”
“It’s true.”
Silence gripped the room in a cold-iron fist.
“You have nothing to live for?” Aki asked quietly as if the sound from the words themselves were too great to be spoken aloud.
With a shake of their head, they turned again to look at Aki.
How can I get you to care?
Emboldened for just a moment, they stepped forward toward the devil. Be it rage or fury or something else… Some deeper, more human urge…
But how can you make something care?
How can you breathe life into that which already searches for death?
His arms hung uselessly at his sides as he stared at a surprised-looking devil.
Without thinking, he threw his arms around the devil, making sure to pull down his sleeves enough to cover his hands, keeping his face away from the devil’s skin.
“Sometimes you just need something to believe in,” Aki stated, feeling the words coming out of him before he could stop them. “I’ve lost everyone I had left… Now it’s just me and you. If you go, I’ll be alone again. So just… Don’t die, okay?”
Don’t die, okay?
That was certainly easier said than done.
Pulling up the fabric of their collar, they turned to press their lips to white fabric.
Aki felt the press of something to his cheek before the devil withdrew completely.
“You should be careful or you’ll shave more time off of your short, human life.”
With the best smile they could muster, they turned away from Aki.
I’m going to watch this man die.
I wonder if any god would listen if I asked them to give him more time.