Chapter Text
I couldn’t see anything, couldn’t hear anything, couldn’t smell anything. But I could feel everything. Too much, too many sensations. I twisted in place, trying to ease whatever was pressing deeper and deeper into me, but it did nothing.
All over, nerves cried out in pain. Flesh pierced, holes running through me. Lungs pinned shut, breathing too hard. Stomach convulsing, something inside burning through it, releasing acids to places they weren’t supposed to be. A small fragment of something hot lodged in my heart, a line of fire undercut my guts, and every inch of skin burned. I tried to scream, but I couldn’t hear myself. It hurt, it hurt, please someone, make it stop make it stOP MAK E I T…
“Asriel!”
My eyes shot open, the instant sting of bright lights seemingly nothing. I gasped for air, insides burning from lack of oxygen. A hand shot to my chest, expecting to find a hole big enough to stick my arm through. All it found was that my shirt was soaked by a cold sweat. Now that I thought about it, the fur all over my body felt about the same, heavy and uncomfortable.
Soon enough, reality won out, though that constant ache still lingered. I was able to force it to the back of my mind, letting me focus on what was really around me. I was awake, back in my room, laying on a nice, warm bed, and, looking down, my fur was smooth and unbroken, whatever wounds I had imagined long gone. I clenched the sheets under me, trying to reground myself in the present.
“Oh God Asriel, you scared us half to death! I’ve never seen someone go through such violent convulsions. Maybe I should find Frisk, they would know…” I let my eyes wander over to Alphys, vaguely listening to her talk on and on. That nervous quirk actually made calming down easier, ironically enough, just hearing someone I recognized from this point in time a huge reassurance.
“..’m okay, Alphys. Just tired, and kind of light headed.” That was a lie, of course, but there wasn’t any point in letting her worry over something she really couldn’t help. It always came. When exactly, I didn’t know, but it eventually came. Soon enough, it would leave, and I would be alright for a little while. It was more intense than usual that time, probably from how many Souls’ worth of deaths I was carrying now, but I would adjust. Besides, it was for the best, a constant reminder of what the flower did, and of what Chara did. It would help keep us from making the same mistakes again.
“Hmm, that was… familiar. It’s hard to forget what a fatal wound does to someone, even for an old man.” I looked to my bedside, where Gerson still sat, though he was less cheery than usual, a small, thinking frown in place of his infectious grin. I guess he remembered what the others looked like when they died, so me going through the motions just reminded him…
In the pit of my chest, something lit. It reminded me of Omega Flowey, how their Souls rejected me and turned. This time, it was smaller, focused on one spot, and it wasn’t breaking away. The force pushed its way straight into my mind, and I lost all feeling in my limbs as my consciousness was torn away from me. I caught a glimpse of the light that replaced me at the controls, a vibrant, piercing orange.
I quickly shifted to the backseat view, aware of the outside world. As soon as I realized who was awake, I started digging my ‘heels’ in, working behind the scenes to at least take a little control back, careful not to touch anything that the mind would register just yet. Considering the last thing he saw before death, I had no idea how far he would go.
My body launched itself to its feet, ignoring both the strain of my still recovering muscles and Alphys backing away. He was too preoccupied with old battles, gaze focusing to a razor’s edge, fists raised in a basic fighting stance.
“Move an inch and I’ll screw you up, turtle man, we both know you can’t keep up!” Gerson just looked him in the eye, calm, collected, almost… accepting.
“Well, I’ll give you that last one. You young people just keep getting stronger and stronger on me. I’ve seen more bumps in power since I retired a decade back than I saw the whole time I was on the Guard. Frankly, it’s a little unfair.”
“Quit your ramblin’, and why ain’t you on your feet? You wanted to kill me so bad, right…?” He slowed down, finally realizing that something was different. He blinked, trying to make sure he wasn’t seeing things, but those wrinkles weren’t going away. “Hey, when’d you get so old?” He looked around, noticing the new surroundings. “And where’d all the snow go?”
“Um, e-excuse me, Bill, right?” Alphys inched forward, careful to keep her movements slow and clear. She was sweating worse than me, and for a very good reason. The guy in control at the moment wasn’t all that predictable, and, in his mind, he was still in the middle of a long ended war. “I n-need you s-sit down, if you can. Things have changed since you died, and…”
“Died!?” Alphys hid behind her clipboard, saying the exact wrong thing to calm him down. “What’chu mean died? I’m alive, standing here good as…” That’s when he looked at his own hand, noticing the new fur and claws. He rolled up his sleeve, then his shirt, then he looked over his shoulder to see the tail. “When the Hell’d I get all fuzzy!? And why do I kind of look like…?”
‘Mom?’ He jumped, looking all around for the mysterious voice. ‘Hey, calm down, I’m in your head. Well, technically you’re in my head. Um, we’re still working out the details, it’s confusing.’ I crossed my internal fingers, hoping small talk would bring him back down to reason.
“Weird. This is weird.” He glanced around the room, jumping off my bed and running to the wall, a full length mirror set up right next to my dresser. He ran his fingers along the side if his nose, looking to the side to get an eyeful his new snout. “You know, you… I mean, we? Whatever, this body looks a lot like my Mom. Same type of monster then?”
‘I think I’m still a Boss Monster, at least partly. Again, things get really confusing after death.’
“I hear you there.” He poked at his upper lip, surprised by the hard, tooth-like protrusions at the sides. “So, these things, are these for…?”
‘Chewing, yeah, but it’s mostly for tougher meats, the type humans always have to saw through. Anyway, the body thing’s actually a little closer than that. See, your Mom is my Mom, too.’ He stopped in place for a second, digesting the news.
“Okay, that’s both weird and cool. So, does that make us brothers, or are we the same person now, or…?”
‘Please, just stop. This whole sharing a body thing is tough to get used to on its own, let alone when you start thinking about how we fit together in it all.’ I let out a quiet sigh, thankful he didn’t notice me blurring out the part of his vision where Gerson was. If he looked, he would still see him, but making him all fuzzy made it easier to sidetrack him. I still remembered when I used that trick on Chara to stop them from hurting those…
No, Asriel, that’s the past. We don’t go there without a good reason, you promised.
I pulled myself away from my own darker thoughts only to notice another bubble of them growing. A guilty conscience was hard to hide when you could feel it taking effect, the energy around the source stirring against the normal tide, the DT losing some of its vibrancy.
‘Is there something bothering you?’ He stopped prodding the lip fangs, raising an eyebrow in the mirror.
“Dude, could you not read my mind? That crap’s just plain creepy.”
‘Sorry, it’s a little hard not to see stuff from in here. At least you know how hard it’ll be for us to keep secrets, right?’ He huffed, apparently not pleased about the lack of privacy. I saw how his eyes drooped in the reflection, hesitating to even meet their own image.
“If you’ve gotta know, it’s something personal. That turtle and his partner took a lot from me, something I’m not getting back, and I’ll leave it at that.”
‘You mean Sherri, right?’ A more sophisticated, feminine voice cut in, surprising both of us. On my end, I was used to Chara’s middle of the road, high, scratchy tone, so hearing Lily in there wasn’t normal to me just yet. As for Bill…
“How you know that name? How you know what I’m thinking!? God damnit, stop digging in my brains!” It was a good thing we had thick walls, or his constant yelling would’ve reached out to the whole neighborhood.
‘After seeing how you passed, it would be more surprising if you didn’t think of her.’ Lily was straight to the point, but didn’t let her directness translate to snootiness. I was guessing she was still trying to find ground after what happened to her in Waterfall, nowhere near confident enough to stand too tall yet. ‘You should know that she’s asked for you, she just doesn’t know how to talk to someone up here yet. It took nearly your whole vision for Chara to show Cliff and I…’
“Share’s in here, too!?” His expression became almost manic, split between sheer shock, muscle loosening relief, and angry annoyance. It was… something else. “The Hell didn’t you tell me sooner? Never mind, I gotta see her!” He detached himself from the controls as quick as he had overtaken them, leaving me to click back into place and take over before my body crashed under its own weight.
As soon as my nervous system was mine again, my control became stilted, locked up. The pain from before was only worse, aggravated by Bill’s lack of restraint. I turned an urgent eye to Alphys, the only warning I could give before my legs collapsed under me.
“Asriel!” She jumped into action, nearly diving after me to get her arms between me and the floor. She managed, though, sparing me from a rough impact. “W-what happened? Why d-did you just break down like that?” I groaned, not able to flex a single finger without bringing the wrath of my own nerves down on my head.
“By the time I got back, my body hurt too much to move… Good golly, what’s that guy made out of?” How did he manage to move around like nothing was wrong with a body tearing at itself with pain? Being tolerant to an injury is one thing, being blind to it is completely different. “I hate to ask, but can you get me back to the bed? I don’t think I can do it from here, and I might have to go back inside and… introduce him.” I passed the pause off as a grunt of pain, but, really, I needed that moment to think up an excuse. I mean, I wasn’t lying, I just wasn’t saying who I was introducing him to.
“Y-yeah, you probably should. I’m not judging him or anything, but he does seem kind of… unsocial. No, that’s not the word, um…”
“I get what you mean, rough spoken.” She nodded, barely getting my body up off the ground, a combination of short size and no exercise making it tricky, but she still managed. “Be back in a few minutes.”
I closed my eyes, letting my self drift away from the wheel. It was a lot more relaxing than being forced out, like laying back into a nice, warm bath at the end of the day instead of being thrown into it. I propelled myself deeper inside, the path to my core becoming more familiar by the trip.
In the distance, I saw the seven Souls that kept me around. I smiled at their soft glow, the orange and light blue DT flowing from them seeming brighter than ever. Below them, hovering around the ‘town square’ (a weird idea for more than a few reasons), I saw the colorful, wispy forms of my head mates. Right in the middle, the orange spirit stood, shaking, the light blue one wrapped tightly in his arms.
“Share, you’re alright! Oh god, I thought I lost you, I thought I… I…” I wasn’t too surprised to see him crying so openly and honestly, and I refused to judge. What they went through to get here was close to home. In his spot, I would’ve done the same thing.
“I told you it would be okay, didn’t I? I mean, I didn’t expect this exactly, but still.” Sherri was, in a word, peaceful. She hugged back as well as she could, and she wasn’t shy to show how happy she was, but she wasn’t breaking down into hysterics like Bill. Where he was rampant and uncontrollable, she was measured and calm.
Looking at them like that, they completed each other. It was no wonder he flew off the handle without her around to keep him anchored. Suddenly, I was very happy they came back in pairs. I wasn’t sure how long I could keep him from punching Gerson on my own. Sherri’s eyes wandered over to me, and her smile got a little bit wider.
“Cliff, is that Asriel?” He nodded, floating off to the side with Lily.
“Yep, the guy we owe being awake to. I’ll bet he looks familiar, don’t he?”
“He looks a lot like Miss Toriel. It’s almost exact, gender aside.” Her expression went curious, looking at me closer and closer, like I was some sort of bacteria under a microscope. It made my skin tingle a little. “Hmm, same eyes and jawline… Excuse me, Mister Asriel? Are you related to someone named Toriel?” She got all that just from how I looked? I shook the strange feeling off, thinking it was for the best if I answered quickly.
“Yeah, she’s actually my Mom.” The sharp eye vanished, sucked up by bright, sparkling excitement. I wasn’t one to talk about having two sides, but it was still a little off-putting from the receiving end.
“You hear that, Billy? Now you’re even more of a son to her!” Her brows scrunched together, thinking eyes going back on. “Or are we just an extension of Asriel, or…”
“Might wanna stop there, Share. Az says it just mixes him up thinking about it.” I floated into a more comfortable distance so I didn’t have to yell.
“Actually, maybe you could help us figure that out. I’ve heard you’re pretty smart.” She blushed at the compliment, but it was only slight.
“Really? But, I’m the youngest one here. If you guys couldn’t figure it out…”
“Are you kidding? Age really doesn’t mean anything on its own. I have a sibling, one that’s not a part of me, who’s about the same age as me, but they can make whole new bodies out of raw energy. If they can do that before they’re a teen, I’m sure you can figure out what we count as from in here.” She shot out of Bill’s tight grip, grabbing my hand and shaking it with all the energy a kid her age should have.
“Thank you, Mister! I promise, I’ll try my best. Okay, if those up there are our Souls, then…” She stopped, staring closely at her own arms, eyes wide open. “They don’t hurt.” She leaned left, then right, then down to touch her toes. Her face lit up like the Sun. “I don’t hurt anymore!” She spun in place like a top, giggling the whole while. Behind her, Bill was reacting about how you would expect, amazed at her unhampered mobility. She bounced out of her spin, hugging him around the neck, carrying enough energy to spin him around, too.
“It’s amazing, my weakness is all gone!”
“Well, that was a body thing.” A quiet, scratchy voice sounded behind me. Chara looked better than after the first vision, but they were still understandably worried, hesitant to get too close to Bill. Their eyes were pointed firmly at their own feet. “In here, you’re a projection of your Soul, linked to Asriel, and he doesn’t have any conditions like yours. When you think about it, still hurting now wouldn’t make much sense unless it was Soul based.” Her excitement was replaced by a subtle curiosity, glancing between them and their still murky red Soul above.
“Hang on a minute, do I know you from somewhere?” Bill slid closer to them, looking them over closely while scratching his head. Chara gulped, no other choice left than to meet him eye to eye.
“You probably wouldn’t recognize me. I died years before you, so my face wouldn’t be…”
“Where’ve I seen those eyes before? I know I saw some like those somewhere, and you don’t forget a red like that.” Chara was about an inch from breaking into a sweat, and I was worried I’d have to dart in as a shield again. Bill’s eyes sparked in recognition, finally pinning it down with a finger snap. “Hey, you’re that voice in my head, the one that buffed me up!” Before either of us could move, his arm shot out, hand latching around Chara’s wrist…
…before shaking it like they were old friends, big, corny, completely missing the point smile firmly in place.
“How the Hell did you end up here, too? Really, what’re the chances?” All of Chara’s tension just sort of fizzed out, now firmly in the ‘I have no idea what’s going on’ camp.
“…I guess pretty high, both caught in the war thing.” Chara tried to shake back, but there wasn’t a chance of them meeting Bill’s enthusiasm. “About before, I wanted to say… I’m sorry. For getting you killed, you know?” Bill just blinked at them, like if someone lightly flicked a rhino.
“You think that was on you? Nah, wasn’t you that made me throw myself off a cliff for some little fire dude, and you didn’t put those sharp rocks down there either. We’re cool. Hell, I’d say we’re more than that.” His grip on their hand loosened up, grin becoming reflective. “If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t’ve held out as long as I did. You said it yourself back there, I’m the one who threw it all away in the end. Real dumbass over here, right?”
Chara was staring at them, completely dumbfounded, and I could understand. They’d been telling themselves that everything was their fault from the start, but here’s someone besides me who outright forgave them. I could tell how much it meant to them by the starstruck twinkle in their eyes. The forced the lids shut, regaining their composure under a whispery chuckle.
“No, you were right back then. That little kid you saved went on to do some good things, believe you me. We’ll have to show you his place later, best burgers in town. I get the feeling you’d appreciate that, right?” That was his stomach’s cue to growl as loud as it could, almost vibrating the energy he touched. I didn’t think that was a thing we could do in here…
“Aight, now you’re talkin’! Been, what, a decade since I’ve had a bite? Let’s go!”
“Sorry, but we don’t really have the time right now.” I looked up, the dull, dormant green and purple Souls standing out against the bright streams of energy.
“Those two are still out, aren’t they? Ours look active, and we’re right here talking, but I don’t see anyone with those colors here.” As useful as Sherri’s sharp eye might’ve been, it would always be a little unnerving having someone who could read me so easily just sitting down here.
“Yeah, I’ve been working at helping you guys wake up for a while now. I’m guessing Alphys already has the system for diving ready up there, so I should probably hurry…”
“Well what’re you waiting for!?” Bill was over in a blink, pushing me back up towards the head. “Can’t just leave people behind, that’s cruel!” Looking him in the eye, I was almost caught off guard by the sheer fire in his spirit. Further than that, the orange Determination around us grew more intense, almost a blinding white. By the time he had shoved me back into the controls, I think I was just as motivated as him, only being pushed along because he could move faster than me. This feeling, the debilitating yet bracing drive to do something, to change the flow of the world, is this how Frisk felt?
“Aight, Az, we’ll hold down the fort here. You focus on getting those two up and at ‘em.” Before fading back into my body, I gave him a thumbs up and the cockiest grin I could manage. One more dive and this would be all over.
I opened my eyes, body half sunken into extra cushy blankets. I knew right away that it wasn’t my bed. My fur was usually about enough, a thin cover all the extra padding I needed. Then again, the fluff did feel very supportive, wrapping around and somewhat bracing my still sore muscles.
“Are you okay?” Off to the side, I saw that Gerson had his spot right next to me taken. Well, technically he hadn’t moved, but I had, and someone else took their chance to get front row seats. It was a little easier when that seat moved with you, and it was a lot easier when you were related to the ‘patient.’
“Frisk? When did you get here?” They almost completely ignored my question, instead sighing in relief. I was pretty sure that was the point they would’ve hugged me if they weren’t still wrapped up in casts, stuck sitting in a wheel chair.
“Kiddo heard you hootin’ and hollerin’ all the way downstairs, so they popped in to check on you only to find you knocked out cold.” Gerson had worked up a little of his usual self, probably trying not to stress Frisk out too much. “Gotta say, never thought I’d see a whippersnapper that eager to give up their bed. Your luck’s really turned around lately, hasn’t it?”
That explained it. Frisk had a special bedspread made to keep them from moving around too much at night. The last thing they needed was to roll out of bed in the middle of recovering. Now though, it looked like they were more concerned about me than themselves, handing it over without a second thought. They really were too nice sometimes.
“Feeling better?” Their eyes were still looking me over, trying to see if they could spot anything immediately wrong. Come to think of it, the last time they saw me, I had collapsed in the snow out of nowhere. Of course they would be worrying their head off, anyone would.
“Don’t worry, Frisk, we’re almost done. I just need Alphys to send me in one more time. One more time and I’ll be as good as new, promise.” Something clattered to the ground a little ways away. Alphys had dropped some papers and folders, eyes darting between them and me.
“W-wait, you’re going a third time right away!? Th-the last one sent you into convulsions, we don’t know if they’ll be worse this time or not. There’s no telling what could happen if they hit again before you’ve…”
“Alphys.” Frisk’s smooth, unwavering tone was like the chord of a lute, a calming influence when played just right. “The memories themselves aren’t dangerous. They hurt, a lot, but they won’t do any real damage in the long run. Anything he feels now is an echo, he’ll get used to it. Trust me, Gaster and I know first hand.” Really, saying they had personal experience with it should’ve been a red flag, but mentioning her dad’s backing of it being no big deal went a long way. We all knew better than to question Gaster when it came to science. Weird Soul, timeline breaking science, but still. Alphys closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and came out the other side much less jittery.
“Okay. I’m still not certain, but you know how the timelines work better than any of us. I’ll trust your judgment.” She put her hands to work on the keyboard, readying one last memory dive. “You’re sure you’re ready, right? I can wait as long as you want if you need a break.” I shook my head, dead set on finishing this. The final round is the last place you want to choke.
“Frisk, could you stay here? You know, incase things catch up again.” They nodded, finding a comfy spot in their chair. They wouldn’t move from that spot until we were done. Their composed waiting expression was blocked out, helmet sliding into place. I was so used to them by that point, I hardly noticed the nose tubes. My nerves quickly numbed from the sleep magic, eyes growing heavy.
‘Let’s finish this.’