Chapter Text
10 years after the Fall…
“You should kill him.”
Lilith kept her head down, focused on counting the few meager coins left in her pouch. The food she bought for their travels would last them another fortnight, the water they didn’t have to worry for there was still some left from the swamp, shelter would likely cost the most, but she had learned that nature would provide them protection if she looked hard enough. Interestingly, the ferryman was the least of her worries. The strange creature only needing a single copper coin… and one that was dipped in the blood of an angel.
“It would be a mercy.”
He agreed that he would give his blood, but Lilith didn’t. Couldn’t. The word ‘hurt’ was not enough to describe his body. The Fall had changed them both, but it changed him for the worst, for he had protected her with the wings that had once allowed him to soar above the known skies of his homeland. For nine days and nights, they fell and fell, and together, they burned and burned… only it was he who bore the brunt of the destruction.
“He is dead already.”
Through the mysterious power that allowed her to join their minds and speak to each other, he had convinced her that the process would not be as dangerous as she believed. All they needed was a few drops of blood from a small cut of his flesh. He was weaker than he had ever been, but he had enough strength to heal a tiny wound—or at least, he had promised her so.
“People like him. They are not meant to survive here.”
“Neither am I.” Lilith said, her words sounding calmer than she felt. It was not the first time someone told her that her friend was better off dead. It certainly wasn’t going to be the last time either. Outlanders did not belong here. The things that made up their bodies could not adapt to the nature of this world. There were other—foreign—creatures who tried, but not a single one of them lasted for long. All of it was like forcing a fish to live on land.
Or a bird to live underground.
What am I then? She thought. Why have I healed? Why have I gotten better but Lucifer is… Lucifer is…
“It will only be a matter of time.”
Lilith could not stop the bite in her tone, “That time will not be today.”
The merchant only hummed. A deep, gravely sound that seemed to rumble in his throat. He was a giant of a creature, his neck bent so low to keep the roof from breaking any further. His little place was once part of a great fortress that stretched miles and miles into the sky, monstrous towers that went on forever where another world seemed to exist right up above. Whether it was a place for giants or a place for those blessed with wings, one thing for certain was that they were people who dreamed of reaching beyond all of what they knew.
“They were punished,” a vagrant, much like them, had said, “for their hubris.”
She suspected she already knew the answer. She asked them anyway.
“Who punished them?”
The vagrant didn’t reply, merely casting a certain look upon Lilith’s companion, and remained silent. Accompanying the purple-eyed woman with horns as red as the night skies of the Agans, there was a small, shriveled figure wrapped in a cloak that was just slightly less tattered than hers. If it wasn’t for their rasp breathing, one would have thought he was a walking corpse—though that description seemed to fit him regardless.
The Fall had turned their bodies into something neither could have ever imagined. Yet Lucifer, ‘fallen’ as he was, was certain that his soul was still that of an angel. Only… a lower one, he believed. But for Lilith, her mind, body, and soul had become the very thing she had only heard once from the lips that breathed her life.
Demon.
Her skin had turned into a pasty shade of the night flowers she was named after; her eyes a deep, almost sickly, purple; claws replaced her nails, and great horns that reminded her of the animals she took care of had sprung from her temples. The infernal bones piercing through her skin, cracking her once human skull just to find its place. The pain had been excruciating, yet little did she know… all of it paled in comparison to the anguish of knowing the true depths of her suffering.
The memory of the sound—and the sight—of Lucifer after the Fall will haunt her for the rest of her days. The echoes of his torment, the knowledge that she had been the cause of it, was a sin she would willingly carry forever… no matter how many times he ‘told’ her otherwise.
His wings were burned to the bone, his sight and hearing along with them. His once marble skin, then soft as a feather and as unbreakable as bedrock, had withered and decayed like a dying flower. Meanwhile his arms and feet looked as if they had taken the worst of the devastation, for the blackened flesh had not been caused by fire—but by the same thing that was now slowly sapping the remains of his strength.
In the long years of their travel, they had met a demon claiming to know “miracles”. A conman, they realized, and a bold one at that. Yet even that supposedly unflinching demon had taken only one look at Lucifer and froze right on the spot. Backing away as he shielded his gaze, as if the sight of him alone would strike a terrible curse. That was the word he used too.
Cursed, the demon had screeched, you are cursed. You are cursed… you are cursed… YOU ARE CUR—
A cursed, fallen angel. Lucifer had joked about it later, on how their lives have become a bit of a comedy, how his presence as an angel attracted them all sorts of ‘followers’, yet the moment they actually see him, they all recoil as if he were The Shepherd himself.
The Shepherd. A terrible deity whom the inhabitants of this world seem to fear, whispering their name like an omen. The cold god, they also called them, for the might of their pale, unquenching fires that burned like ice.
It was a bad joke, she told him, and he replied with a rasp that turned into a wheezing laugh. Lilith was tempted to tell him off, tell him that she knew he was hiding behind his jokes, hiding to disguise the hatred he felt for himself. She wanted to tell him that she knew, and that she understood.
And yet, she didn’t. His amusement was a fragment of his old self, and so, Lilith let him laugh, and soon enough, she laughed along as well. Not at the joke, or at anything in particular, but simply about the irony and absurdity of it all. In some ways, their lives have indeed been quite the comedy.
“Will this be enough?”
The giant nodded, slow in his movements yet quick in retrieving the item she was buying for. Merchants were scarce enough to encounter in the unforgiving wastelands; the vagrants and wanderers only having much respect for such businesses until they spot something… priceless.
Lilith made a quick scan of her surroundings, observing the deceptive stillness of the scenery and seeing only her dear friend waiting beside their horse—or what looked closest to one—that carried the very few things they owned. He was feeding it with an apple, the creature gentle in its munching. A stark contrast to how it reacted whenever she was the caretaker.
The giant turned back to her. His large hands made the object look as if it were the size of a coin. Wrapped in a golden-trimmed cloth, she carefully unfolded it and touched the handle with the lightest of fingers.
A faint sheen of light glinted over the surface of the holy blade. The hilt had rusted over the years, but the blade itself was in pristine condition. Thin and pale, it was eerily light in her hold, almost as if she was holding the very air. Yes. This was the one Lucifer described. The only thing that could cut his flesh. Withered as it was, it was just as unyielding as before.
She thanked the giant as she wrapped the dagger once more in its coverings. The merchant went back to his work, nodding a slow nod, and bid them farewell.
“Stay safe.”
They would never see him again.
Are you well?
He raised his hood towards the stir of her presence and dipped his head. She heard more than saw him wince as he pulled his hand back from the horse. His burns must be acting up again.
As well as I can be.
Please don’t lie.
You know I would never do such a thing.
She rolled her eyes fondly. I shall be the judge of that.
Desolate as this land was, it was one of the very few ‘safe’ places they could ever be. The safety, however, would not keep them alive. While their new bodies could last longer without food and water, it was nevertheless a terrible thing to endure. For Lucifer, he didn’t feel hunger or thirst as worse as she did, but the sensation of his limbs growing even number until he felt like he was turning into ash was a sensation he did not want to revisit.
Perhaps someday, Lilith thought with a hope she didn’t really feel, they would find a home that was just right for the two of them. Eternity was a long, long time. As long as Lucifer was with her, and she by his side, they both would endure anything.
Having sensed some of her thoughts, Lucifer raised a thin hand and tried to look for her own. She quickly held it, loosening her grip as he clasped his hand over hers.
Are you ready?
No. She admitted. But we’d be waiting forever if we wanted to feel ready, wouldn’t we?
She felt the smile in his soul. She smiled back, even if he couldn’t see it, and placed a gentle brush of her lips on his withering skin.
They would cross the end of the wasteland tomorrow. What awaited them at the edge, they would only have to see for themselves. Years have passed since the Fall, yet they still felt like strangers in this world—even to the people. While there were those amicable enough to converse, none would let them stay for too long, yet neither she nor Lucifer resented them for doing so. One was the son of an entity that sought to replace their way of life with their own, and the other, a complete anomaly. A stranger. A creature who perhaps never should have been breathed into existence.
Tomorrow, Lucifer and Lilith will venture further into the darkness, leaving behind more of what they once were… and more of what they never could be.