Chapter Text
It was the early morning of their wedding day, their own wedding! It was going to be great, if not, the greatest day of their entire lives!
Both Smart Beavis and Smart Butthead decided to wake up earlier than usual, there was a lot of work to be done today!
Wedding planning had been taking a toll on them, the poor men were exhausted! But they knew it'd be worth it in the end, which made the entire process an overall satisfying experience.
It was still dark outside when Smart Beavis opened his eyes. A surge of joy prompted him to sit up and turn on his night light. The warm glow illuminated his soon-to-be husband's handsome face — and the golden light truly enhanced his features.
Smart Beavis observed him for a while, infatuated, before gently caressing his shoulder.
His beloved soon woke up with a silent yawn. Before resting his head on Smart Beavis’ lap, still tired. Smart Butthead looked up at him with a sweet smile “Good morning, my dear…”
“Good morning to you as well, my angel…” Smart Beavis whispered back, before leaning down to kiss him on the lips. Where they held that position for a very long time, before pulling away from what might be their last kiss before they were married — oh yeah, today was their wedding! And Smart Butthead just realized that!
“I absolutely cannot wait for today… where I can finally call you my husband…”
“Me neither… I especially can’t wait for the reception and honeymoon… I cannot believe Smart Stuart has offered to babysit our children!”
“Yes… they will be in great hands!”
“I will miss our babies though…”
“Do not worry! We are only going to be gone for 5 days…”
“I suppose you're right…” Smart Butthead took his partner's left hand and brought it close to his lips, planting a soft kiss on it. He smiled to himself, thrilled at the idea of finally witnessing Smart Beavis wearing a wedding ring! He couldn't wait to finally marry his soulmate… “I love you, baby.”
“I love you more, darling.”
“More than I do? Oh, you must be lying…”
“Don't even get me started on it, Smart Butthead…” Smart Beavis playfully squeezed his fiancé's cheeks before rubbing their noses together and finally leaving the bed. “I shall head to the kitchen to prepare our meal!”
Smart Butthead rushed out of their bed — he desired nothing but to spend as much time as possible with his beloved before they got married — and nearly tripped over his own feet.
Smart Beavis couldn't help but find it quite humorous… Humorous, but also endearing! He'd never get enough of him…
They prepared a small meal of toast and fruit salad, with avocado slices to put on their toast. It tasted better than ever! It was all they could ever dream of, actually!
Soon, their final meal as fiancés had ended and they had a lot to do!
There was some spare time before they had to get ready, and that Smart Stuart would be there, he was their only guest, and also their minister!
Smart Butthead did the dishes as fast as he could, while his partner went back to their bedroom to retrieve a checklist he had written just before going to bed.
“Well, let's see… Firstly, we must head to the woods and put the wedding arch together. However…! Smart Stuart promised to help us, so I suggest we spend some time in the living room as we wait for his arrival. What do you say, my love?”
“Sounds like a wonderful idea, honey…” Smart Butthead took his beloved's hand and happily guided him out of the kitchen. He couldn't stop smiling, especially since he knew Smart Beavis was just as excited for their wedding!
The couple approached their good old purple couch, ready to look for something interesting to watch together! However, their lovely plan was interrupted by Smart Beavis' communicator, with its annoying ringtone that he refused to change.
He picked it up.
“...Yes?”
It was Smart Stuart.
“Hello! Good news, my wife is out with my children a bit early, so I’ll be leaving my home now!!!”
Smart Butthead replied quickly with an “Alright, I'll wake the children up!” Before hanging up and informing his fiancé about what had happened in the call, they both agreed to go and wake up Bartholomew and Beryl.
They treaded into the children’s room, Smart Beavis going to Beryl’s newly bought bed, and Smart Butthead walked to his son’s bed.
“Good morning, sweetheart…” Smart Beavis caressed his daughter's cheeks, although the girl refused to open her eyes. She soon clung onto his robe, which prompted the man to take her into his arms. Surprisingly enough, he couldn't tell whether Beryl was awake or just pretending to be asleep this time… Anyway, he still decided to take his baby girl to the kitchen, while his partner struggled to get their son out of bed.
“...Barthie” Smart Butthead gently rubbed his child's back with his thumb, but that didn't seem to wake him up. “It's time to wake up, darling, come on…”
Bartholomew eventually woke up — he was in a good mood, for his father's delight! — and immediately noticed that his sister wasn't in the room anymore.
“...Ah!!! Dad!! Where’s Beryl???” His smallish eyes widened as they dashed all over the place, in search of his rebellious disciple.
Smart Butthead found it mildly amusing, but also extremely sweet; he should totally tell his fiancé about it later. “Oh, don't worry, Barthie! She's in the kitchen, with your father!” He pulled his son in for a hug, which quickly calmed him down.
“O-Oh...” Bartholomew hugged his father back. He was glad Beryl was safe but… Oh well, that was embarrassing!
Regardless, the two of them soon made their way out of the kids' bedroom, with the boy telling his father all about the wonderful dream he had tonight.
“...and then the baby dinosaur went away, but that was really cool too, heheh!! …Oh, hi dad, hi Beryl!” They walked into the kitchen; Smart Beavis was preparing breakfast and Beryl was sitting in the high chair with the ugliest, most disgusted expression ever seen on a baby’s face.
It seemed she was having a good sleep… until it was rudely interrupted. Smart Butthead sighed with a small smile.
“Beryl… don’t you want to be the prettiest flower girl in the land today?”
Beryl snapped out of it quickly and thought, before giggling softly out of happiness. She, of course, was quite excited for her fathers’ wedding! Bartholomew was as well! Giving a wide smile and quickly gobbling down his meal once it was served to him.
Beryl also gobbled down her food, making sure her dad put extra hot sauce on it!
Soon, her and her bib were all messy and stained, and Smart Butthead had to take her to the bathroom for a bath.
Smart Beavis wiped his son’s face off with a napkin.
“Dad? Can we pleaaaase make the cake! Beryl has the perfect dolls to put on top and we have a recipe made up!”
Smart Beavis smiled at Bartholomew’s enthusiasm and gave an accepting nod “As long as your babysitter is fine with it, you know he’s an old friend of ours who used to babysit you all the time! Right?”
“Um… Really??? Who is it, dad!!” Bartholomew was confused, of course, he was too young to remember who Smart Stuart was!!
…And speaking of him, someone knocked on the door before Smart Beavis could answer his son’s many questions.
Bartholomew followed his father as he walked into the living room, curious to see what this mysterious babysitter person looked like.
Smart Beavis opened the door, and there he was: Smart Stuart.
‘Woah, that must be the babysitter!’ Bartholomew thought to himself as he observed the man standing in front of him. He was chubby and quite short… Shorter than his own father, actually! But he seemed like a friendly guy.
“...Smart Stuart!! What a nice surprise! ……Actually, not really since I already knew you were on your way.”
“Haha! Oh, Smart Beavis, you haven't changed a bit!” The man laughed as he spoke — he seemed to be one of the few people on their planet who were able to laugh, although Smart Beavis and Smart Butthead weren't sure whether he was faking it or not. They'd rather not think about it, though.
“...Oh, and there is my good friend, Bartholomew! Do you remember me?”
“Um….. No.”
“Aw! Well, I’m best friends with your fathers, we went to high school together! I used to babysit you all the time! In fact, the triplets are just a bit older than you! We should arrange a playdate sometime.”
“Yes, yes, that'd be wonderful!” Smart Beavis closed the door once his friend entered the house. “Please, make yourself at home! Would you like to drink anything? I've prepared coffee.”
“Hm, sounds good to me!”
Smart Beavis quickly teleported to the kitchen and came back with a mug of coffee for Smart Stuart, who gratefully took a sip before opening his mouth to speak.
When suddenly Smart Butthead came back with Beryl.
“Ah! There’s the lucky man! Along with the little princess of the household!” Smart Stuart put his mug down and got up to greet them both, attempting to tickle Beryl.
…just to be roughly bitten.
He yelped and pulled away quickly, and Beryl growled at him. Smart Butthead quickly began to apologize, just for Smart Stuart to reassure them it was quite alright.
Smart Stuart sat back down to finish his coffee before nodding to himself.
“We best get going with our plans, the reception is being prepared as we speak and you both have your outfits and jewelry ready along with the children’s, correct?”
The couple nodded yes.
“Perfect! Well, we still have plenty of time until the ceremony, since you desire a sunset wedding.” Smart Stuart got up from the couch, patiently waiting for further instructions.
Smart Butthead quickly got the hint, and knew exactly what he wanted to do next.
“Oh, I’d love to make sure everything is perfect. I suppose we could visit our selected place to see how the preparations are going, what do you say, Smart Beavis?”
“Yes, yes, sounds perfect to me, darling!” The man gave Smart Stuart a spare house key before turning to his children. “Barthie, Beryl! Smart Stuart will babysit you for us, he's in charge now so please behave yourselves and don't do anything your father and I wouldn't approve of!”
Both children nodded; Bartholomew walked to his bedroom to retrieve his beloved toys, but Beryl stood still. She stared at her parents and refused to take her eyes off them.
And once the door shut and the ship went soaring away, she scrunched her face and started sobbing.
Smart Stuart PANICKED. And tried taking her in his arms to soothe her.
“Beryl… it’s okay, everything is okay, your fathers are just visiting the-“
Beryl didn’t like this, and used her powers to burn the man’s hands. Which worried him even more!
Soon, Bartholomew came back to the tantrum. “BERYL!!!” He panicked as well, running to comfort her. The baby didn’t burn him, and hugged him tight. “Ba…. Dada gone…” she said, eyes full of tears.
“Yeah, I… Our dads are busy now but they'll come back in no time!! I promise you, Ber… Um….” The crying didn't stop, so the boy resorted to looking around the living room in search of something that could help calm his baby sister down.
Something…
…or rather, someone.
Bartholomew spotted his babysitter freaking out in the corner of the room and immediately knew what to do.
“...Oh!!! I know!! Didn't you want to prepare that huuuuge cake for our dads' wedding? C'mon, Beryl, that's gonna be fun!!”
…and it worked like a charm! Beryl looked up as the last salty drops of water rolled down her cheeks, her brother was quite the genius sometimes.
She smiled and hugged him even harder, turns out both children were more than ready to prepare the wonderful cake their parents deserved!
Smart Stuart led them both into the kitchen, this was going to be the best cake they have ever baked!!!!
Smart Beavis and Smart Butthead parked their ship less than a mile from their destination, and soon hopped out to walk to it.
When they arrived, they were in utmost shock.
There was a beautiful isle, a stand for Smart Stuart, no seats as they weren’t expecting anyone else other than their minister and their children. And a triangular arch engulfed in teal and turquoise flowers.
It was everything they could ever dream of!!!!!
The Smarts smiled brightly as they saw Smart Stuart’s servants working on it, one of them turned and noticed the couple.
“Ah, you must be the lucky men, congratulations!!! Feel free to look around, we are still setting up decorations and waiting for deliveries, though…”
The duo nodded in understanding, they had some time to kill!
They spent a couple more minutes looking around and walking in the forest, before returning to their ship, why not take a couple more stops until they had to separate for the ceremony!
“You know, darling… I'm more than pleased with our wedding decoration, everything looks perfect so far!” Smart Butthead escorted his beloved into the ship, but soon let go of his hand to set up the coordinates.
“I couldn't be happier, dear, this is everything I've ever dreamed of!” Smart Beavis went to hug his fiancé, before asking him the important questions. “Smart Butthead, where are we going next? We still have a few hours to spend… And the children are probably busy at home.”
“You're right, Smart Beavis… Hm…” He thought for a good while, but finally came up with something. “...Well, I know!! But it is a surprise, so I'll have to ask you to close your eyes, honey.”
Smart Beavis followed his partner’s order and buried his head into the crook of his neck; that was definitely not what Smart Butthead expected, and it definitely didn't serve its purpose either… But receiving his lover’s affection was never enough!
However, Smart Butthead, especially, had another idea. He grabbed a blindfold from under the foldable couch, a souvenir from a private time they shared in that shop a few months earlier, and placed it over his fiancé’s eyes, just to make sure.
“Alright, this stop is going to be a surprise, so no peeking!”
Soon, the ship was parked, and Smart Beavis was allowed to open his eyes…
His mouth opened in surprise.
It was the old drive in they had confessed their feelings for each other in!!!!
Although it was abandoned about 2 years after they began dating, it still was beautiful!!! Smart Beavis’ eyes darted around until he noticed something.
The projection room!
“Oh, dear, this is…!!! I can't believe we’ve returned to the place where it all began…” He took his partner's hand and sneaked into the projection room, amused.
It was surprisingly spacious, but there were no seats whatsoever — of course, this is Earth 327-Z we're talking about! Most things are automated nowadays…
Smart Beavis took a look around, dragging his beloved along. Smart Butthead didn't seem to mind it, seeing his fiancé’s excitement was everything he desired today.
He watched as his partner searched everywhere for the long lost projector. God, did he look even more handsome than usual…
Smart Butthead couldn't help but keep staring at him, studying every single detail his figure had to offer. From his stunning almond eyes that glimmered like faint stars in a night sky, to his delicate fingers that blessed the land with pleasant warmth with every touch.
“Perfection” isn't scientifically possible to achieve, but Smart Beavis was the closest the universe would ever get to bringing perfection itself to life.
He couldn't believe they've been together for so long… As a couple, that is.
In fact, he couldn't imagine what his own life would've been like without Smart Beavis by his side!!! And he preferred it that way; some things are better left a mystery, and some mysteries are better left unsolved.
Smart Butthead had a beautiful man he would soon be able to call his husband, and together they had two wonderful children who were the biggest proof of their love. Right now, he was the happiest man alive!
“...I suppose it's broken. However, we might be able to fix it! Have you brought the toolkit, dear?” Smart Beavis ended up finding the projector, turns out it was hidden under an old desk.
…He had already explained it to his partner, who apparently wasn't paying attention to any of this. “……Smart Butthead?”
His fiancé shook out of it and immediately looked up at him. “No dear, the toolkit is sadly in our room… but I’m sure we can still enjoy the atmosphere.
Smart Beavis was disappointed, but the sadness quickly went away when Smart Butthead walked over to kiss him.
It was amazing! He could even taste the blue raspberry flavored lip balm when he released his lips from his.
Smart Butthead took his partner's hand and gently rubbed his thumb over his palm. Their eyes locked, and the couple went silent for a moment.
Smart Beavis knew his soon-to-be husband was pondering the right words before he spoke, and he couldn't wait to see what Smart Butthead was going to come up with!
Everything he did, he did it with the utmost care, and that's something Smart Beavis had always appreciated about him.
He couldn't keep himself from interrupting his train of thought, at least not this time.
“...Smart Butthead” he pulled him close and into a hug, both arms wrapped firmly around his body. “If anyone told my younger self that he'd get married to you someday… I would have never believed it! But I'm glad things turned out this way…”
“Oh, honey…” Smart Butthead hugged him back, even tighter. “I love you, you're my everything… You're my universe.”
“I love you too, darling…” he rested his head close to his beloved's neck once again, except Smart Butthead didn't move this time. Instead, he gently caressed his head; he couldn't believe this man would be his husband in just a few hours!
The Smarts walked around and chatted for a bit, until seeing a stairwell, looks like the projection room wasn’t the only thing this small building had to offer!
Soon, they went down just to find an old concession stand.
Here’s a fun fact, theater snacks were expensive on their planet, and for a good reason. They didn’t expire for hundreds of years! And another thing, they needed extra snacks for their reception… Soon, they looked at each other.
They had an idea. What if they were to take the snacks to the reception! It was genius!
Smart Butthead got out his communicator and texted Smart Stuart about it, who soon replied agreeing with it, he didn’t mind bending some laws for his best pals, after all.
The Smarts smiled before making some space nachos and leaving the building satisfied.
Soon, they were in their ship and off to visit other places of importance!
Smart Stuart had put down his communicator and was helping the children finish the last details on the wedding cake they made!
Beryl had already calmed down a bit, and was now in charge of preparing the greatest cake mankind has ever seen.
…But since she's still too small to reach the table, her lackeys Smart Stuart and Bartholomew Benvolio were forced to do all the hard work. Ah, yes, what a shame.
Unfortunately, they weren't very good at following rules; it looked nothing like what Beryl had in mind!!!
She wanted a scary-looking cake to frighten all the guests, and was having a hard time dealing with the fact that not only did her parents prefer a cutesy cake, but they weren't going to invite anyone else either! What's wrong with those two???
Anyway, it was almost time for the cool part!
The girl had two small, but fairly cute dolls in hand; they were sparkly and pretty similar to each other, apart from their different outfits.
One had a blue tuxedo, while the other had a white dress!
The dolls complimented the cake perfectly, and soon the cake was put in a special box for later.
Bartholomew licked some frosting from his fingers “What will we do now?” He turned to find his sister was missing. He and Smart Stuart quickly rushed to look for her, just to find her in the children’s room next to her dollhouse.
She was babbling to herself white playing with a few dolls, Bartholomew soon joined her.
Smart Stuart attempted to, but was given a reply when Beryl growled at him.
“Ber… he’ll play by your rules, like I do, if you let him! Please let him join!” Beryl sighed and obliged, handing Snart Stuart a doll of a poodle.
__________
Many hours had passed and now the children were napping in their respective beds.
Smart Stuart was resting on his friends’ couch, playing a game on his communicator — “Tetris” or whatever it was called. He heard a human on television say those pathetic tetrominoes were good for your brain.
His eyes were locked on the screen; they weren't even allowed to blink, or else his entire progress would go to waste.
But still, Smart Stuart was pretty good at this game!!! He had been playing for a few hours now, it was addictive…
However… the more he observed those colorful blocks falling down the screen, the more it reminded him of…
…Well, Smart Stuart knew there was something he was supposed to do, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it… he was busy enough arranging the blocks, after all!
Each line he cleared and each t-spin he performed required a well-thought-out plan.
A plan..….
Just like a wedding plan.
…….OH GOD!!!! THAT'S RIGHT, HE WAS IN CHARGE OF HIS BEST FRIENDS’ WEDDING!!!!
The man quickly put his communicator aside, it was almost time for their wedding! He dashed out of the living room and into the children's bedroom.
“...Barthie, Beryl!!!! Wake up, children, we'll be late for your fathers’ wedding!!!” He quickly opened their wardrobe and took the selected outfits. Both kids got up in no time, they were excited for the ceremony!!!
Once he helped them change into the special clothes, Smart Stuart made his way to the kitchen, where an enormous box containing the cake awaited!.
Before he was able to figure out how to store that beast without letting the grooms see it, a noise was heard coming from the front door — the men themselves were back!
An idea popped into his head to quickly open a portal to the reception hall and hand the cake to a servant, and it went smoothly. He then called some servants to pick up Smart Butthead.
Right after he closed the portal, the couple walked into the kitchen. They both had small boxes containing their outfits.
“Ah yes, the soon-to-be newlyweds! Smart Butthead, I have called a few servants to pick you up to prepare you, they are going to be here anytime now! Smart Beavis will come with me and the children!”
The Smarts nodded and frown not ready to say their goodbyes, the last time they would see each other before the ceremony.
“I love you so much dear… more than the cosmos…” Smart Beavis nuzzled his nose against his lover’s, before pecking him on the lips.
Before Smart Butthead had a chance to say anything, he heard a beep outside. The cab was here!
He hugged his beloved tightly, whispering a few sweet nothings before heading off with his outfit.
Smart Stuart then let Smart Beavis quickly dress in his room, he shed his robe and looked into the box…
It had a note on top.
“My love,
I couldn’t bear to wear a dress again, I’m so sorry, so I swapped our clothes, we are nearly the same size after all. I saw you looking at the dress in awe and knew that you wanted to wear it more than I ever did, you deserve to wear it… you deserve everything…
See you then!”
— Your beloved Smart Butthead
Smart Beavis smiled softly at the note, and noticed something else in the box once he was dressed.
An aquamarine tiara…
He beamed wider as he put it on too, quickly doing his makeup. Looking almost like a princess!!!
Finally, he left the room to his children’s delight, who both ran to hug him.
“Dada, princess!!!!” Beryl squealed, patting her hands on Smart Beavis’ face.
“You look AMAZING!!!! I’m sure dad will love it!” Bartholomew said with a smile.
Smart Stuart was confused at first until Smart Beavis whispered what had happened to him, in which he smiled softly and grabbed his keys.
They soon all headed to Smart Stuart’s ship, with the ringbox, flower arrangements, and everything else that was needed, and headed to the wedding!
Smart Stuart’s spaceship was HUGE compared to the one the smarts owned!!!
The walls were bright and colorful; all the toys and snacks were sorted in separate boxes next to a small custom kitchen — which probably hadn't been used in months!
Besides, there were screens all over the vehicle, probably intended to keep the triplets busy. And it definitely seemed to be working, since the large one in the center of the ship immediately caught Bartholomew and Beryl's attention.
A few minutes later, they were ready to go! However, there was something bothering the little boy…
“Um…… Uncle Stuart??? Where's our cake…?”
The question caught Smart Stuart off guard; but he wasn't allowed to give a proper answer since the groom himself was sitting beside him.
“...Oh! Don't worry, Barthie, I've already taken care of it! Our wonderful cake is safe and sound, as intended.”
As short as it was, this sweet interaction between the two of them was enough to melt Smart Beavis’ heart. “Uncle Stuart”, huh? Oh, that was adorable!!!
Smart Stuart was a good person, and one of the best friends someone could have. He was clingy, sure, but had come a long way since his teenage years!
If you ever told young Smart Beavis and Smart Butthead that he would officiate their wedding one day… Well, let's just say they'd — politely — call you an idiot.
“I must thank you for doing all of this, we are forever in your debt…”
Smart Stuart shook his head “Anything for my best friends!”
Smart Butthead had blush applied to him as Smart Stuart’s servants applied everything onto him. Until he was fully dolled up in his suit.
He felt bad for switching their outfits, but wearing a dress would bring back… memories…
But he was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard a ship begin to land, expecting it to be Smart Beavis he hid from view, wanting his appearance to be a surprise.
But he suddenly heard a familiar voice talking to a servant, asking if this was their wedding.
It was…
Smart Shirley.
Smart Butthead’s eyes widened, they texted her about it, but didn’t expect her to actually show up!!!
He came into view to greet her, Smart Shirley being overjoyed to see him.
“Ah! There’s the lucky groom!” If he had hair, she would certainly ruffle it.
“Hello, Smart Shirley, everyone will be here shortly, and the ceremony will start soon!”
Smart Shirley smiled and nodded.
Then suddenly, Smart Stuart’s ship came into view and Smart Butthead went with a servant to prepare for the ceremony.
The ship landed and its owner soon walked out, holding a few heavy boxes. His best friends’ children followed right after him, carrying small bags with treats and some other goods.
At last, another person left the vehicle — the other lucky man, donning a frilly, but extravagant wedding dress. He felt like the most handsome man in the world, and perhaps he was right!
However, he couldn't wait to see what his soon-to-be husband looked like…
Before he had the chance to take a look around, Smart Beavis was surprised by a short, elegant lady who walked up to him — his own mother.
“Oh, my…!!!! My son…..!!!!! Oh, I can't believe it….” She pulled her child into a tight, unavoidable hug, bringing him down to her own level. “I can't believe my… My little boy is finally getting married….”
Smart Beavis hugged her back. He was lucky to have such a wonderful mother, and could never thank her enough for supporting his relationship with Smart Butthead.
Smart Stuart smiled warmly at the scene before clapping his hands to get everyone’s attention.
“If everyone could be seated expect for the groom, flower girl, and ring bearer.” He was obviously meaning Smart Shirley.
Soon, a servant whispered in his ear, Smart Stuart looked up for a second before smiling at his servant.
“I have an announcement, before walking down the aisle, the other groom would like to make a special entrance, if you would let him, but other than that, let the ceremony commence!
One of the servants played a special playlist created by the couple and Smart Beavis stood impatiently at the arc.
Soon, Beryl was led to the isle where she began chucking flower petals everywhere, and dumping the basket unto Smart Shirley and soon finding her way to her father, who pulled a piece of banana bread from his pocket for her as a reward, soon, she was nomming on it while standing beside him.
The man couldn't wait anymore, where was his partner? And when did he decide to make a special entrance? If Smart Beavis knew about that, he'd have prepared something as well!
He was lost in his thoughts until the rustling leaves of a nearby tree caught his attention. It was not the wind, there was something in there!!!
…Or rather, someone.
Smart Beavis wasn't the only one to notice this otherwise pleasant noise coming from above. Suddenly his children, mother, friend and even servants were looking around, trying to figure out its source.
They had many questions, but those doubts would be cleared in no time!
A charming figure emerged from its hiding place — the tallest tree any of them had ever seen.
The man graciously jumped from the tree and floated his way to the aisle. Smart Butthead had brought his fiancé his favorite flowers, but almost forgot about that gift.
He couldn't believe his eyes, how come Smart Beavis looked even better than usual? He was stunning, the dress fit him quite nicely and went well with his makeup. Oh, what did he do to deserve such a heavenly man in his life?
“...Oh, well! Now that’s what I call a special entrance!”
“I'm glad you liked it, baby! …I've brought you a little souvenir from up there.” Smart Butthead gave him the flowers and a quick peck on the cheek. Their eyes connected for a while, until Smart Stuart spoke.
“Greetings, we’ve gathered here today to celebrate the joining of two, once-star-crossed, lovers!”
He went through the basic wedding script flawlessly, before moving on to vows, where the smarts spent nearly an hour gushing at each other and promising to love each other for eternity.
Soon, he called for the ring bearer.
Bartholomew came rushing down the isle, wanting to perfectly complete his task, and opening the box to reveal 2 wonderful rings.
The couple took the ring that matched their counterpart’s size, and placed it on them.
Smart Butthead suddenly and quickly turned to a tree near Smart Shirley’s ship, he swore he heard something in that direction.
He soon felt his lover’s hand on his shoulder and it quickly soothed him, so he turned to face him.
“Smart Beavis, do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?”
“I would be more than happy to say “I do”…”
“Smart Butthead, do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?”
Before Smart Butthead could say “I do”, he heard a loud “I OBJECT!” boom from the direction he had just been looking in.
Both grooms turned to face the person standing next to Smart Shirley’s spaceship, and so did everyone else. That powerful yet raspy voice couldn't belong to anyone else but… her.
Smart Sandra.
The woman was visibly drunk, but that wasn't enough to keep her from walking down the aisle, yelling at everyone who attempted to stop her.
She was enraged, and her rage knew no bounds.
“YOU IDIOT!!!! YOU'RE A FAILURE” She approached her son, despite not seeing him as family anymore. “LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO ME, YOUR MOTHER!!! YOU RUINED MY LIFE, YOU ABOMINATION!!”
Smart Butthead was shocked, and knew his mother would take things to a whole other level if he didn't react. He had to handle it somehow — and try not to lose his cool.
“Mother. I don't know what you're doing here, but-”
“DON'T. CALL ME. THAT!! You ain’t my child anymore, you failed as a daughter and as a person!!!”
Oh no. Not again.
“Listen, I- This is my day and I will NOT let you disrespect me like this in front of—” Unfortunately, the woman grabbed an empty whiskey bottle and threw it at her child before he was able to finish his sentence. Fortunately, though, she missed! But oh, well…. That was scary.
It was time for Smart Beavis to step in — that is, if his soon-to-be mother-in-law allowed him to do anything.
“Oh, so what??? What is your little boyfriend going to do???? YOU DISGUSTING SINFUL SON OF A BITCH!!! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT MY DAUGHTER TURNED OUT THIS WAY, YOU'RE ALL GOING TO HELL, ESPECIALLY THOSE LITTLE FREAKS OF YOURS….!!!!”
The lady charged towards her grandchildren, but luckily Smart Shirley was able to stop her on time.
“Sandra, stop.” She grabbed her arm, she should have known she snuck on the ship. She literally went on a drunken rant about how she was going to make her son’s life miserable.
But Sandra did not budge, and shoved her best friend to the ground.
Smart Butthead turned to find his children hiding at the arch, shivering in fear. And he knew he couldn’t handle it before.
He grabbed his mother by both wrists and began to float up.
Soon, he was above the clouds. Where nobody could hear him say what he needed to say.
…except for the woman who’s hurt him the most.
“...Get me out of here, NOW!!! You worthless piece of—”
“Now you will listen to me, Sandra” The woman stared at him, both enraged and curious, she couldn't believe her former child was talking to her like that!!! “You ruined my life, it's utterly disgusting that I have called you my mother in the past!!! However, now I've finally learned it, you're not worth my time.”
“I'm not here to listen to your crap, I'm not your damn boyfriend!!! Honestly, I feel slightly bad for him, for marrying a disgusting freak like you!!”
“...Sandra.”
“....AND DO NOT CALL ME THAT WAY!!!! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE??”
“Well, I am a happy person with a loving family. I am the luckiest man in the universe-”
“...She thinks she's a man… Pathetic!!!”
“...I demand respect, and if you aren't willing to give me and my family the treatment we deserve…”
“...So WHAT????”
“So I'll gladly ask you to get the fuck out of my life. Leave me alone if you don't want to have a problem.”
The woman had a lot to say but right now, for the first in decades… She was scared. Of her own child nonetheless!!! But… Why?
Something was wrong, but the way Smart Butthead looked at her was threatening enough to send a shiver down her spine.
“Now, I’m going to put you down, and when I do, you will go back to Smart Shirley’s ship, and stay out of my life until you are ready to accept me and my family.”
Smart Sandra reluctantly nodded, thinking that her kid was willing to drop her if she didn’t comply.
Then, he began to float down, and once he touched the ground, he let go of her. Where she immediately snarled and ran to the ship.
Smart Shirley immediately ran to hug Smart Butthead.
He could only sigh, but not in annoyance, but in relief.
He couldn’t believe he has just done that.
His own mother’s abusive behavior had been holding him back for several years… But from now on, Smart Sandra wouldn't bother him or his family anymore.
And that thought alone put his mind at ease.
“...Oh, dear!! Did she hurt you??? That bitch…” Smart Shirley’s soothing voice snapped him back to reality; the lady had both arms wrapped around his body, and pulled him into a motherly embrace. “I-I apologize, I had no idea Sandra was hiding in my spaceship, I…!!!”
“Don't worry, Smart Shirley… It's not your fault…” She hugged his mother-in-law back, as tight as he could. It was good to know that no matter what, she would always have their back. “Now… Shall we go on with the ceremony?”
He smiled, and so did her. She nodded and promptly went back to her grandchildren; there was an attempt to comfort them so her own child could return to the altar.
Smart Stuart cleared his throat.
“As I was saying… Smart Butthead, do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?”
Smart Butthead took a deep breath.
“I do…”
Smart Beavis smiled, everyone smiled, even Beryl!
“Then with the power invested in me, I declare you both husband and husband… you may now kiss the groom!”
They wasted no time and pressed their lips against each other’s. Savoring the moment for a while.
They were finally married, MARRIED!!!!!
The reception was quite eventful, the few guests they had couldn't be any happier for the newlyweds!!
The men gave Smart Stuart a “thank you” gift they had purchased for him and his wife, which was greatly appreciated.
But now, they took their ship and left for their honeymoon spot. Their universe’s version of Venus!!!
In the civilization’s early eons, it was a mating ground for finding mates and producing offspring. Now it’s full of shops, resorts, and activities targeted towards younger adults and newlyweds.
First stop: their own residence!! It did sort of ruin the mood, but they still had to gather clothes and other supplies since they forgot to pack their bags beforehand…
Smart Butthead parked the ship and promptly took his now husband into his arms, taking his time to appreciate Smart Beavis’ beauty before carrying him into the house — bridal style, of course.
They were in love!! …But there were things to be done, and so both men were forced to stay apart from each other for a brief moment.
Smart Butthead walked into their bedroom and retrieved his and his partner’s color coded bags from under the bed; meanwhile, his lover had been assigned to grab the most delicious snacks he could find in the kitchen.
However… Smart Beavis could NOT focus on his task at all. In fact, he didn't even want to go back to the spaceship, that would take way too long!!! He just wanted to skip the traveling part and finally change into comfortable clothes, he wanted nothing but to cuddle and spend time with his husband for the rest of their lives. And he deserved it!!!
So he did what any sane man his age would do, AND MADE A FREAKING PORTAL!!!!
Creating portals took a lot of power to do, meaning you couldn’t really use your other powers strongly if you made one.
Luckily, the portal wasn’t for a too far destination, so his powers were safe to still use.
When Smart Butthead finally came out, he was beyond shocked at what his newly-made husband had done.
“My first wedding gift to you, my love…” Smart Beavis said with a smile. His husband’s surprised expression went away and was replaced with a smile. “I suppose we could just get taxis for getting from place to place…” as he grabbed everything and stepped into the portal with his husband.
But once they closed the portal they realized they forgot snacks!!!!
And the poor men were starving!
They quickly checked in to their resort and walked into their room.
Smart Beavis quickly noticed the phone with a list of restaurants to order from, and got an idea.
He quickly called and ordered a large bucket of space nachos and slushies, their favorites!
Once it was delivered, they ate like kings, chatting and lying on the bed like when they were teens again.
They were happily married, had their favorite meal and were now free to spend a whole week together!!! Both men were having the time of their lives, could it get any better???
…Actually, yes, it could.
“...Darling” Smart Butthead got up from the bed, to his partner's discontentment. “I must go to the bathroom, but I shall return in a few minutes!”
Smart Beavis wasn't happy at all, how DARED Smart Butthead leave him all alone??? They're married, he wanted his partner to be glued to him all the time!
However… Perhaps this was his chance to come up with another surprise, another wedding gift!
He got to thinking, searching around the room quickly before realizing exactly what to do…
“Sweetheart I’m back-“
Smart Beavis was lying on the bed, nacho bucket in hand.
He was only in grey boxers and was suggestively licking cheese off of a chip.
Smart Butthead choked on his own breath, he should have known his husband would do this, it’s been a while since they’ve done that certain activity after all.
“Hey baby….” He said with a purr.
Smart Beavis smirked to himself, but pretended not to hear his beloved until he finally joined him in the bed — from that point onwards, he was going to make sure Smart Butthead got all the attention he deserved!
Once the amusing activity came to an end, they were finally able to enjoy the second — but still fun — part…
“Honey…” Smart Butthead had both arms wrapped around his partner's small frame, holding him close to his chest. “...I love you.”
“I love you too, darling… I couldn't have asked for a better partner…” Smart Beavis wouldn't stop smiling, he was delighted to have his beloved husband next to him!
…Which made Smart Butthead even happier! That man would do anything to make his former fiancé happy as well, and it always warmed his heart to see Smart Beavis on cloud nine because of him!
“Same, baby… Same…” he hugged his beloved even tighter, as tight as he could. “I love you… You're adorable…”
Smart Beavis loved the compliment, but couldn't miss the opportunity to tease his partner. “I am not adorable, Smart Butthead. I'm hot.”
“...And why not both?”
“......Oh, well, you have a point!” He planted a gentle kiss on his husband’s cheek, elated.
Smart Butthead thought on what to do next, and grabbed the remote and turned on the tv. Just to turn his head to find Smart Beavis fast asleep on his chest. He always gets tired after indulging each other, after all.
He turned off the tv and turned off the lights before cuddling closer to his husband.
This honeymoon week was going to be out-of-this-world!