Chapter Text
The kettle had just begun to whistle when Arthur opened the door to their flat. He easily found Merlin in their kitchen pouring water into two mugs.
“I didn’t know we were expecting company,” Arthur sleepily rumbled behind Merlin.
“Evening to you, too,” Merlin chirped cheerfully. “Would you like a cup, as well?”
“If you wouldn’t mind. Who is it? Anyone special or should I just sod off to my own room, then?”
Merlin poured three mugs of tea, spooning a teaspoon of sugar into Arthur’s knowing he didn’t like his tea bitter. He passed Arthur his and then gathered the two remaining mugs so they could walk together to the sitting room where Faruq awaited.
One sip and Arthur groaned in surprise. “Holy hell, Merlin, this is the special tea! The one you hide from me and won’t tell me where you get it! Is this a date?!”
Merlin laughed and shook his head. “No, but he is special. He can tell you himself if he chooses.”
“Why all the mystery, Merlin,” Arthur groused.
“Not my story to tell, I’m afraid,” Merlin said easily, crossing the sitting room to join Faruq at the window. “Faruq, I’d like you to meet my flatmate and arse of a best friend, Arthur.”
Arthur held out his hand, “Arthur Pendragon, pleasure to meet you.”
Faruq gripped Merlin’s mug tightly with his left hand and extended his right to accept the friendly gesture. “Faruq, likewise.”
Merlin could tell he was nervous so he tried to lighten the mood by sitting in his spot on the couch, leaving room for Faruq to join him, and spoke to Arthur. “So what’s got you out so late, anyway,” he asked. “It’s nearly two in the morning.”
“Could ask the same of you,” Arthur countered. He took a sip and groaned loudly, gently settling into his chair. “I swear, one of these days I will get it out of you where you get this tea. I will make it my life’s mission.”
“Is it that good,” Faruq’s deep voice asked. “Taste it and find out,” Merlin teased. He sipped his own and swallowed his own groan of delight. He watched as Faruq breathed in the steam of his mug before taking a small sip. The man’s reaction was entirely worth dragging out the good stuff. He mumbled something under his breath in arabic and walked to the couch so he could fall into it, carefully so as to not upset the tea.
He turned to Merlin and said, “this, my friend, is worth the journey to your home.”
“Where did you journey from,” Arthur asked, curious.
“We met in Avalon,” Merlin supplied.
“You were in Edinburgh tonight! How did you get back to London so quick?”
Merlin smiled and took a sip of his tea. “Not telling,” he singsonged at him.
“More of your magic secrets,” Arthur complained genially.
“You really do trust him,” Faruq said, surprised.
“Of course, I do,” Merlin replied.
“Trust me with what,” Arthur asked, confused.
“With the nature of my being,” Merlin supplied. “I told Faruq that you know about me and my abilities.”
“Wait, does that mean that you,” he gestured to Faruq, “that you’re a wizard?”
Faruq smiled and took another sip of tea. “In a matter of speaking.”
“And you can what, teleport or something?” He directed his next question at Merlin. “Why didn’t you tell me you lot could teleport? Could’ve saved loads on airfare!”
“I can’t teleport.” He jerked a thumb to Faruq. “He can, though. It’s impressive, really.”
Arthur sat on the edge of his seat. “What was that like?” His eyes were bright and enthusiastic and he was brimming with curiosity.
“I don’t rightfully know, to be honest,” Merlin supplied unhelpfully. “It’s...it’s kind of like walking between rooms. One second you’re in the kitchen but the next you’re in the living room.” He smiled and added, “but much quicker and a much more sudden stop.”
Arthur laughed and raised his mug in cheers to Faruq. “Perhaps one day you’ll share your talents with me. I’d be quite interested to see it for myself.”
Faruq looked at him curiously. “And yet you do not ask me, out right. I can see you want to know but you do not demand to know what I am nor to show you my abilities.”
Arthur sat back and shrugged before taking a swallow of tea. “Not my place. Merlin didn’t tell me for ages what he was. And he didn’t have to. Though it is nice to know why the washing always seemed to do itself.”
Merlin snorted, “that’s cause it does do itself, clotpole.”
“Well I know that now don’t I?”
They laughed heartily, lost in their own amusement. Faruq looked between them, still unable to process Arthur’s disinterest in digging into his past. Merlin noticed and asked, “haven’t had a friend in a long time, have you?”
Faruq nodded once. “It has been centuries,” he admitted.
“Soon you’ll be wishing for solitude again with him,” Arthur pointed accusingly at Merlin, “as a mate. Better run for the hills.”
“Oi, prick,” Merlin exclaimed, tossing a throw pillow at him. It missed by an inch but succeeded in earning him a squawk from Arthur.
“Fuck, Merlin! You nearly hit my tea! I’d have had you drawn and quartered if it spilled!”
“No you wouldn’t,” Merlin said confidently, “then you’d never know where I get it from.”
Arthur rolled his eyes and sank heavily into his chair. “I wish you’d just tell me,” he pouted. “Then we could have it all the time.”
“Do you truly wish for it,” Faruq asked.
Arthur smirked, “why? You a genie or something?” At Faruq’s silence Arthur sat upright. “No! Really?”
Merlin and Faruq exchanged glances. “If he gets weird I can just memory charm him,” Merin offered.
“Oi-”
“That won’t be necessary, I have my own methods,” Faruq said easily.
“Now wait just one minute-”
“Pipe down, would ya,” Merlin urged. “Yes, Faruq is a Jinni.”
Arthur narrowed his eyes, skeptical. “Three wishes, the whole lot?” Faruq nodded and Arthur snickered. “I don’t believe it. Merlin told me that genies don’t like to socialize.”
Faruq tilted his head in amusement. “What would convince you?"
“I want you to conjure me something ridiculous. Like a...a massive, man-sized, red dildo. Right here in this sitting room.” He sat back and folded his arms, confident in calling Faruq’s bluff.
Laughter rumbled lowly in Faruq’s throat, mischief in his eyes. “If you’re sure. Then you must use the “magic words”.”
“Alright then. I wish for a six foot tall dildo.”
Merlin groaned and Faruq grinned. “As you wish,” Faruq said gleefully.
With a flick of his wrist a puff of grey smoke erupted from the center of the living room and when it dissipated what was left in its wake sent Merlin into a fit of uncontrollable laughter.
“OH MY GOD! YOU DID IT! CHEEKY BASTARD,” Merlin shouted, clutching his stomach, howling in laughter. Arthur stared at the giant phallus in fearful awe. When he finally snapped out of it he turned his gaze back to Faruq who had joined Merlin in hysterical laughter.
“Holy shit, you’re the real deal!”
“He,” Merlin gasped between giggles, “he did tell you plainly.”
“I did,” Faruq agreed.
“But,” Arthur gestured to the massive red dildo now occupying most of the space in their sitting room, “what am I supposed to do with this?”
“Well, I do have one idea,” Merlin said before descending into cackling once more.
“Oh, stuff it, Merlin!”
“That’s exactly what I was going to suggest! Maybe you have ESP! A modern day Cassandra!”
Arthur sat there, arms crossed, watching the other two men giggle themselves silly, until finally their amusement grew too infectious for him to resist. He soon began to join them and within minutes they were all red faced, teary, and gasping for breath. Once they had settled down, Merlin took it upon himself to boil another pot of tea. It was nearing three in the morning but none of them seemed ready to end the night.
Merlin was thrilled that Faruq decided to trust him and, by extension, Arthur. He hoped the man would keep in touch beyond that night. But, in case he didn’t, he prepared a small packet of loose tea to give as a gift to the Jinni before he retired for the evening. He refilled their mugs and slipped the rest of the tea into a hidden panel in their cupboard that Merlin reserved for his potion and spells and special blends of tea.
Bringing the mugs back to the sitting room, he doled them out and took up his place on the couch. “Thank you once again, Faruq, for letting me show you some hospitality.”
“Thank you for providing a memorable experience. It has been a breath of fresh air, to say the least.”
Merlin produced the bundle of tea from his pocket and said, “and here’s a little parting gift, should we go awhile between meetings.”
Faruq’s eyes lit with joy and he took the packet gratefully. “This is most precious. Thank you, my friend.”
“You give him his own little packet of tea and won’t even tell me where you keep it in our house,” Arthur griped.
Merlin smirked, “a bit of tea was well worth the look on your face at the arrival of your new “conversation piece”.”
Arthur groaned and covered his face with his hand, “seriously, what am I going to do with that? It’s too big to use-”
“God I hope that’s true,” Merlin interrupted.
“And it’s very conspicuous,” Arthur continued, talking over Merlin. “It’s not like people won’t know what that is.”
“Donate it to some kind of erotic art gallery.”
“You think that thing will fit down the stairs?”
“God I hope not,” Merlin chuckled. “I’m rather fond of it now. I think I’ll call him Rusty.”
“Oh no! Don’t name it, then you start getting attached to it.”
“Rusty seems very fitting,” Faruq agreed.
“You two are impossible.”
“You love it,” Merlin said brightly.
“Let that be a lesson to you, young man,” Faruq said, bringing his mug to his lips. “Be careful what you wish for.”