Chapter Text
Favonius Hall Best Floor 🕊️
6:12 AM
varka: RISE AND GRIND PEOPLE 💪💪🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯
varka: 6AMMM GET UP GET UPPP
varka: TIME TO GREET THE DAY
venti: wu
venti: no
venti: hesdach e
kaeya: man how r u not hungover as fuck rn
kaeya: venti and i have made friends w the bathroom
diluc: Disgusting
jean: Please refrain from talking about underage drinking in this chat. I have an obligation to report that
venti: not udnergae
varka: Yeah me either!!! 😄😄😄
kaeya: yeah vark ur old as shit
varka: WHAT
amber: Our resident grandpa ☺️❤️
varka: Just because I started college late doesn’t mean I’m a grandpa guys shut up 😭😭😭
venti: lol grandpa
varka: Venti don’t talk your boyfriend spent the whole time at game night talking about antique lamps
venti: omfg
kaeya: LMFAOOO CLOCKED
vennessa: Good morning, everyone
vennessa: Who do I need to pick up off the floor today
jean: Vennessa, please
venti: pls get me advil i beg
kaeya: bring more water
lisa: Morning
lisa: I’m doing relatively well all things considered
jean: Oh my god
lisa: Does anybody know if Mona has class today? I’m unsure if I need to wake her up
varka: Not it
venti: uhh
kaeya: FUCK that
amber: Ummm I think yes
amber: Eula and I are fine we didn’t go out last night :)
jean: At least some of us are sensible
amber: We drank at home ❤️
jean: Okay.
diluc: I enjoy not being an RA anymore.
jean: Kaeya is doing a horrible job at taking your place
kaeya: 🖕
kaeya: has literally anybody seen rosaria btw
kaeya: or dahlia
vennessa: @rosaria @dahlia Please report your condition
rosaria: never went to the party i’m good
varka: That’s my girl! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🥰🥰🥰
rosaria: ok gramps
varka: .
venti: last time i saw dahlia last night he was in a bush
venti: but then again he has crazy hangover comeback skills
lisa: That is true. He’s probably sleeping it off as we speak
lisa: I attempted to wake up Mona. Didn’t go well
albedo: Everyone alright?
kaeya: no i think im dying lol ur gonna have to come carry me to bed like a princess
albedo: I’ll take that as a yes
amber: LMAO 😭
albedo: Sucrose wasn’t out last night, was she?
amber: Nopee she’s still sleeping. I think she was up late working
albedo: Sounds right
diluc: I think Albedo should be an RA instead of Kaeya
jean: I’m trying to convince him
albedo: I don’t live here half the time
jean: Please
varka: Is everyone up and at em!!!!!
venti: uuugghhh
dahlia: varka shut up
venti: DHAKIA
venti: hiii babes
dahlia: venti shut up
dahlia: all of u shut
dahlia: i sleep
vennessa: I suppose we’ve been silenced
vennessa: Get some rest, everyone
vennessa: You too, Jean
jean: That’s very kind of you Vennessa but I’m still working on a paper
lisa: I’ll handle it
vennessa: 👍
teacher assistant hell
6:38 AM
venti: @furina pls sned lecture notes for modern drama im not making it today
furina: she usually posts them online
venti: y but she takes sooo long
furina: ok fair enough! i’ll send them
venti: tahannk u my savior
zhongli: Why are you not making it today?
nahida: You don’t sound very well :(
venti: hangover
mavuika: Ugh me too
zhongli: Figures…
venti: ZHONGLI LEAVE ME ALONE
venti: GOD FORBID I HAVE FUN
mavuika: Lol
venti: i’m going to Get You
nahida: Oh just relax Venti! and Mavuika! It’ll pass 💚
mavuika: Thanks lovely, sorry we won’t be able to grab lunch today
nahida: No worries! I was going to tell you anyway that I’ll be spending my day with Scaramouche
furina: um. who? lol
venti: isn’t that the guy who got expelled for blowing up the dorms or something
furina: HELLO??? HWAT????
nahida: No no no! It’s a different one! 💚
mavuika: Uhhh pretty uncommon name…
nahida: He has many names 💚
zhongli: I suppose we’ll have to take your word for it. Stay safe, Nahida.
nahida: Always! ☺️
teapot party 🫖
9:08 AM
childe: i changed my mind about inazuman economics
childe: it’s actually pretty chill
kaeya: mhm. and what’s chill about it
childe: there’s a transfer in here and i’ve been sitting behind him to get answers and make sense of the notes
childe: he’s unfortunately really fucking smart
childe: and also hot
lumine: bruh
venti: guards. kill this man
dehya: I’m deceased
lyney: interesting …
lyney: i haven’t heard of any transfers recently!! and it’s kind of a small school don’t you think?
hu tao: okay girl no need to flex your prestigiousness
lyney: you go here too???? 😭😭😭
kaeya: @diluc
childe: WHAT. NO?
jean: He went to the gym earlier with Beidou, he probably won’t answer
kaeya: NOOO RESIDENT CHILDE BULLIER 😭😭😭
kaeya: lumine you next
lumine: okay!
lumine: childe once again your ability to be attracted to literally anything that moves never ceases to amaze
jean: I try not to interact with you if I can help it, Childe, but everyone can see the comments you leave on Diluc’s instagram posts
aether: actually i can’t i think i blocked him
childe: WHAT WHY 😭😭
aether: hold on
lumine: lol
aether: …
aether: “HOW WAS HEAVEN WHEN YOU LEFT IT”??????????
kaeya: IM ACTUALLY THROWINF UP PLS STOP PUTTING SHIT PICK UP LINES IN MY BROTHERS COMMENTS
yoimiya: wait what’s diluc’s insta i wanna see this too
aether: it’s priv unfortunately
thoma: Huh???? How is Childe in there then????
childe: one of my friends is a crazy hacker and i pay her whenever i want to see what diluc’s up to
thoma: Oh my
aether: this bitch said “there’s something wrong with my phone, it doesn’t have your number in it”
cyno: Lol
tighnari: Don’t encourage that
venti: CHILDE MAKE IR STOP
childe: THESE R GOOD WTF DO YOU MEAN
lumine: i’m going to punt you
kaeya: thoma ill give you dilucs insta if you want it, he’ll probably let you in. then you can show queen yoimiya
yoimiya: queen yoimiya has a nice ring to it ☺️
thoma: Oh, please!! I found yours and Jean’s yesterday but I had yet to find his :(
ayato: @diluc Can you fight
thoma: wh
kaeya: IM???2$&
ayaka: Ayato please!!!!!!
kaveh: can’t wait for the next fight video to drop!
aether: just look up “lumine childe” in this chat you’ll find like 40 of them
cyno: Oh amazing
venti: this is crazy im living for it
venti: he’s at the gym wait
thoma: Ayato please he’s my friend 😭😭 We haven’t seen each other since middle school
kaeya: tbf he did have a major crush on you when we were in 7th grade
hu tao: tbf i don’t think anyone needs to know about each others 7th grade experiences in this chat
lyney: im willing to bet that you were the girl who would make wolf packs and howl unironically
hu tao: . EXCUSE ME?
thoma: Aww, that’s sweet
thoma: Uh not the wolf girl thing. The Diluc thing
kaeya: yeah it was mega embarrassing we’re gonna have to detonate this chat before he gets back or else he’ll murder me violently
thoma: Oh!
ayato: Welcome to sibling life, Thoma
aether: yeah no need to act too surprised
venti: okay diluc left his phone here the weirdo
venti: BUT @beidou
beidou: heyyy i’m at the gym rn i don’t like to text when i’m working out. what’s up?
venti: nothing girl we’re just seeing how you and diluc are duoing!
venti: haha. get it. like doing. but they’re a duo
cyno: LMFAOOOOOOOOO
tighnari: Omg
venti: WOW??
venti: guys i’m awesome
beidou: it’s going well!! i actually taught him how to take hella good gym selfies earlier
beidou: not to brag but methinks i’ve created a monster
beidou: dilucgympic (6).png
ayato: Oh wow he can fight.
venti: IM ACTUALLY DEAD LMFAOO
kaeya: you guys can’t get weird about this ill actually kms in front of you
dehya: Ok I can admit it. That’s impressive
cyno: Not my type but @kaveh
kaveh: what’s up now
kaveh: HOLY MOTHER OF PEARL
lumine: MOTHER OF PEARL?????
thoma: Well.
thoma: That’s nice
lisa: Insane work from all of you btw
childe: HOOOOLLLLLYYYYY SHIIITTTT
kaeya: lumine get him
lumine: On my way! king
lumine: omw* not that excited
childe: IM FROTHING AT RHE MOUTH THIS ISNR FAIR
childe: BEIDOU WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
beidou: i told you man
yoimiya: heyyy guyssss @thoma @ayato how’s it going…
ayato: I’m reconsidering a lot of things very quickly
thoma: I’m unwell
aether: i’m so sad this means childe isn’t going to stop thirsting in his comments
childe: im thinking of more pick up lines as we speak
cyno: Let me know if you need any ideas. We have a similar style
tighnari: God please no
kaeya: SUBJECT CHANGE SUBJECT CHANGE PLEASE SUBJECT CHANGE
venti: @baizhu ?
baizhu: Good morning
baizhu: Subject change?
baizhu: Hmm…
baizhu: I still haven’t received my $40 from last subject change
venti: FUCK
venti: can literally anyone else change the subject
venti: i spent all my money like. last night
aether: oh i do actually have something!!
aether: i had another guy i wanted to add here buuut he’s kinda awkward and like. anxious? so plssss try not to overwhelm him too much 🙏 he’s really sweet i prommy on my mommy
lyney: isn’t your mom… like…
lyney: gone
lumine: LYNEY 😭😭😭
lynette: omg
aether: okay good point!
venti: WHATTTT 😭😭😭😭
aether: i prommy on myself
aether: be chill guys!
kaeya: yeah ok… 😭 good luck bro i don’t think he gonna make it
dehya: Nah we’re cool
ayaka: So cool!
aether has added xiao to the chat.
venti: WAIT
venti: OMg
venti has removed xiao from the chat.
aether: ??????
lumine: wtf venti
childe: dude why do u have admin privileges and not me
hu tao: WAIT XIAO??? I KNOW HIM
venti: IM SO SORRY I PANICKED
aether: why??? what’s wrong with you
venti: HES ZHONGLIS BROTHER
venti: IVE SAID SO MUCH EMBARRASSINF SHIT ABOUR ZHONGLI IN THIS CHAT 😭😭😭😭
kaeya: oh my god.
lyney: HELLO??
hu tao: as someone who’s tried to get xiao out of his shell before, i don’t think he even knows searching in chat is a thing
aether: i said be chill. 😭
venti: IM SORRY OMG
venti: i love xiao he’s awesome i just got scared 😔
venti: are we sure he won’t backread
hu tao: girl if he does i don’t really think he’ll gaf anyway
venti: ok fair point
venti: we can add him 😌
aether: 😕 tried!
venti: IM SORRYYY
aether has added xiao to the chat.
aether: sorry about that xiao!
venti: yeah sorry!! i was trying to remove someone else lol
kaeya: there’s no way
ganyu: Xiao! Nice to talk to you :)
hu tao: HIII XIAO
xiao: oh
xiao: Hello everyone
aether: you don’t have to talk here if you don’t want to, i just thought it’d be nice to have more opportunities to chat with you!!
aether: but if u don’t like the group settings ur free to just dm me :)
venti: um?
lumine: 🤐
hu tao: huh…
xiao: I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks Aether
lyney: does this mean i need to stop flirting with you
cyno: Strange… I don’t remember getting this treatment when Aether added us
dehya: Nuh uh 🧐
lumine: lyney stop sending flowers to our doorstep i’ll fight you
lyney: OKAY I GET THE MESSAGE NOW
lumine: xiao’s cooler than you anyway
lyney: WHAT 😭😭😭😭
xiao: Thanks I think?
venti: so nice to have you xiao!!! haven’t seen you in a while
venti: but if i remember correctly you’re a fine arts major right??? lotta art classes??
xiao: That’s right
ayaka: Oh!! We might share a few :) It’s not my major but I enjoy taking them in my spare time
venti: aether used to do modeling work a lot!!! maybe you guys could set something up with him and your classes 🤔
aether: wgya
aether: What
kaeya: OMFG
ayato: How cunning…
lumine: HEELLOO
xiao: Oh
xiao: I mean I guess I could? My professors are always talking about how we need more models
xiao: But only if you’re comfortable, Aether
aether: OH
aether: WELL
mona: the stars are telling me you’re going to fumble
aether: excuse me
venti: IM ACTUALLY CACKLING because imagine pulling a card and it’s just the tower but it says “fumble :(“
tighnari: Reading tea leaves and they just spell out “yikes”
lyney: my pendulum starts swinging towards the nearest bridge
kaeya: STOP IM DYING
lisa: Looking at my horoscope and it just says “Not today”
aether: guys please oh my god 😭😭
lumine: LET HIM GET UP LMFAO
aether: i’ll think about it!! thanks xiao
aether: and venti i guess?
venti: BITCH?
hu tao: xiao i’m so glad you and aether met!! it’s crazy because aether actually saved me from a burning building once
aether: what.
aether: oh my god please don’t start
dehya: Sounds like something he’d do. Gave me a kidney once. Solid guy
aether: WE MET A WEEK AGO
dehya: I know it’s really crazy that you were willing to do that for me
thoma: It’s true!!! Aether once took a bullet for me
aether: OH MY GOD
tighnari: He helps me out at the animal shelter regularly and I’m not even lying about that
thoma: There’s an animal shelter nearby??!?!
tighnari: Yes, I can send you the location if you want. You can volunteer whenever they’re open
tighnari: Me, Aether, my little sister Collei, and her friend Razor all help out when we can
thoma: Amazing!!! Please do!!!
childe: aether helped my grandma cross the street and blocked a moving car with his body to protect her
xiao: Ajax.
childe: OH SHIT
childe: I DIDNT KNOW WHAT WAS GOING ON I JUST WANTED TO JOIN
childe: HEY XIAO????
lumine: why do you know everyone it’s starting to piss me off
kaeya: and why is he hitting you with the government name 😭😭😭
xiao: I’m staying civil because this is a group chat but trust me when I say I’m kicking you out on the streets if you do anything to my dorm again
childe: I WASNT TARGETING YOUR DORM SPECIFICALLY 😭😭 IT WAS AN ACCIDENT
lumine: what did you do this time
ganyu: Is this about the time he tried messing with the plumbing and flooded our floor?
lyney: CHILDE OH MY GOD?
xiao: I was on the floor below and happened to be right under the majority of the flood. Plumbing water through the ceiling and all over me
aether: oh no 😭😭😭 childe what the hell
childe: IT WAS AN ACCIDENT
xiao: Couldn’t even shower and get changed because he broke the plumbing so badly we had to wait for it to get fixed. And then the flood got all the way to my room and drenched my clothes because they were in my laundry basket on the floor.
childe: okay but tbf that’s kind of your fault for not putting ur clothes up lol
xiao: …
lumine: oh my god.
hu tao: dude he’s gonna rock ur shit
hu tao: who’s at the dorms can anyone record please 🙏
xiao: Don’t test my patience, Ajax
childe: ur right i’m sorry man
lyney: ok that was hot. @aether i get it
aether: SHUT UP WHAT????
kaeya: nah cause how do u even mess up the plumbing that bad 😭what were u trying to do?
childe: My Best
nilou: I’m a little terrified to see what your worst looks like…
dehya: NILOU??>?:FHVBG
childe: WHO ARE YOU????
kaveh: let the girl speak!!!
aether: nilou i’m not gonna lie i forgot i added you to this chat
nilou: I lurk a lot! It’s really entertaining hehe
lynette: real
ganyu: Me too!
hu tao: GUYS????? LMAOOO
childe: you guys are ALL going in my note
childe: only person to be spared is the hot guy from inazuman economics
childe: and sandrone because she helps me get into diluc’s account
lumine: you disturb me