Chapter Text
"OKAY!" Abby slammed down the notebook on the coffee table, looking between Milo and Thomas. "The glory that be, my song book." She pointed at the sticky notes sticking out from the sides. "You are only allowed to read the pages with the pink notes. I am watching and if I see you even try..."
"You'll what?" Milo smirked a bit. "Go ahead and threaten me, kid."
Abby's face fell in annoyance and she rolled her eyes. "Just look at them. Mostly Thomas. He knows how music works."
"Huzzah. Win for me today." Thomas chuckled and sipped at his water.
Silent Brat (Silent Night)
Silent Spank
Tools you’ll thank
Paracords,
Lexan Cane,
Sniffling brats in corners they stay,
Well behaved they promise they say,
Well behaved brats all night
Well behaved brats all night
Oh Kinky Tree (Oh Christmas Tree)
Oh Kinky Tree, Oh Kinky Tree!
How lovely are your switches,
Oh Kinky Tree, Oh Kinky Tree!
You show our love this Christmas!
Paddles and some brushes hung,
A leather belt, tightened ‘round the trunk.
Oh Kinky Tree, Oh Kinky Tree!
How lovely are your switches!
Deck The Halls
Deck the halls with smacky items!
Smack-smack-smack-smack-smack
Smack-smack-smack-smack!
Hang them up with much excitement!
Smack-smack-smack-smack-smack
Smack-smack-smack-smack!
A top can’t spank with decorations!
Smack-smack-smack
Smack-smack-smack
Smack-smack-smack
I won this for all bottom nation!
Smack-smack-smack-smack-smack
Smack-smack-smack-smack
Paddles high where tops can’t reach them.
Smack-smack-smack-smack-smack
Smack-smack-smack-smack
Strung with belts, we won’t need them.
Smack-smack-smack-smack-smack
Smack-smack-smack-smack
I’m the best behaved, I swear
Smack-smack-smack
Smack-smack-smack
Smack-smack-smack
Oh shit I forgot the wooden spoons.
Smack-smack-smack-smack-smack
Smack-smack-smack-smack.
Hannukah Song
Spankukah oh Spankukah, let’s light up some bottoms!
Eight naughty days and nights, all that are glorious
Fetch me that bathbrush please
We’ll give our friends a treat.
I’ll spank your little bottom red,
Seven days more we repeat
"I don't know the Hannukah songs well enough..." Thomas looked up "I know the Adam Sandler one, but I don't think that's what you're referring to."
"Yeah, I need to get with Peter on that..." Abby sighed "But look, I tried." She waved her hand. "Next one."
Someone Give this Brat a Red Rear (Grandma Got Runover by a Reindeer)
Someone please give that brat a red rear!
For they were being naughty Christmas Eve.
They can say they that they weren’t asking for one,
But their pleads and cries I don’t believe.
Abby pushed herself back on the floor a little as Thomas chuckled and then tilted his head. "What?"
"Not finished?"
"Parodies take time!"
Milo poked Thomas "I think you're scared of it."
Smacky the Bright Red Paddle (Rudolf the Red Nosed Raindeer)
Smacky the Bright Red Paddle
Looking out for butts with glee,
Wanting to make them red
Red as they could truly be!
All of the other paddles
They would laugh and call him weak.
They never thought little Smacky
Could ever cause one to weep
Then one naughty Christmas Eve
A top prayed with a beg.
“Santa please, help me out
This sub’s driving me insane!”
So Santa looked all over
Thinking of which one to grab
He saw little Smacky
Sitting all alone and sad.
That early Christmas morning
Santa set down Smacky with glee
The paddle sat so happy
Underneath the Christmas tree!
It wasn’t ‘til that evening
Smacky made his grand debut
A screaming and crying bottom
Blistering bright and red, to boot!
Brat Winter Hymnal
I was following the, I was following the
I was following the, I was following the
I was following the, I was following the
I was following the, I was following the
I was following the brat
They’re walking with a mope
With lots and lots of fading hope,
Of keeping their bum
All nicely untouched
But we all know that won’t be so!
And yet they try to run, think it will be fun,
Until that bum shines bright as Rudolf’s nose at Christmas time.
Joy to the World (Stevie breaking the Fourth Wall: This is dedicated to Winterapple. She knows why.)
JOY TO THE WORLD
YOUR ASS IS GRASS
YOU ARE GOING TO GET SPANKED HAAAAAARD
YOU WILL SCREAM AND CRY
'TIL YOUR EYES RUN DRY
AND THEN A LONG TIME OUT.
AND THEN A LONG TIME OUT.
AND THEN THEEEEN A LONG TIME OUT.
JOY TO THE WORLD
YOU WRAPPED THE BRUSH
IT SITS UNDER THE TREE
THEN IT DISSAPPEARED
YOU PANIC AND FEAR
YOU'RE GOING TO GET SPANKED
YOU'RE GOING TO GET SPANKED
YOU'RE GOING GOOOOOING TO GET SPANKED
JOY TO THE WORLD
THE BATHBRUSH HANGS
RIGHT ON THE DOOR KNOB
YOU KNOW THEY'LL USE
THAT BRUSH ON YOU
AND THEN SOME CUDDLE TIME
AND THEN SOME CUDDLE TIME
AND THEN THEEEEN SOME CUDDLE TIME!
Milo clapped his hands, snorting at that. "That one's my favorite. Call it. Maybe that's what I'll get both of you for Christmas."
"Rude!" Abby glared. "No using my songs against me."
Spanking Around The Christmas Tree
Spanking around the Christmas Tree
Tawses land with loud slaps
Brats in corners, where all can see
Pants pulled down, so they can't flee.
Spanking around the Christmas Tree
It brings many much cheer
Sitting sore at dinner time
You swear you’ll be good next year!
"Okay, okay." Abby pushed herself off the ground. "This one I pictured as doing for Corrective Measures, and I know it's dumb, but you as Dave and me and Frankie and Emily." She giggled. "I even put notes."
Christmas Don’t be Late
Christmas, Christmas time is here!
Time for toys and time for cheer!
I’ve been good, hey please don’t laugh!
Hurry Christmas, Hurry fast!
I want a cute pair of some boots
Not a belt that can triple loop!
I can’t hardly stand the wait, please Christmas don’t be late!
Okay, fellas, get ready
That was very good, Frankie
Naturally!
Very good, Emily
Uh, Abby, you were a little flat
Watch it, Abby, Abby? Abby?!
Okay!
Want a cute pair of some boots
(Okay, but it would be really fucking funny if Thomas pulled in Milo here. Frankie and Emily would sing on while I panic, but still in rhythm.)
Milo put back that loop de loop!
Thomas, why’d you rat me out?!
Christmas you’ll make me hate!
You’re a Mean One, Spanky Top
You’re a mean one, Spanky Top
You torment with your looks.
You say there’s no exempting
Naughty bottoms, they need tending.
Spanky Top!
Ten minutes in the corner!
I might as well rot!
You’re a mean one, Spanky Top
You make me touch my toes!?
It’s not my fault you are so boring
Your words they sound like snoring,
Spanky Top!
What!? It’s funny when your ears turn red! Ah! I’m sorry I’ll stop!
You’re a mean one, Spanky Top
You wave that bathbrush round!
You threaten as you push me,
Saying things that make me kookie
Spanky Top!
Put that brush away before I riot!
You’re a mean one, Spanky Top
You make me scream and cry.
You say that I deserve it,
But to me I haven’t earned it
Spanky Top!
It’s not my fault that it took you that long to see I had replaced your fancy ice cubes with golf balls!
Ow! Sorry! I’ll fix it up!
Pale Christmas
I’m dreaming of a pale Christmas
I’ll have the palest butt I know!
I’ll cook and listen
Make the tree all glistenin’
And sing carols with your mom.
I’m dreaming of a pale Christmas.
No threats to paddle me, you’ll see.
I’ll behave, be merry, and bright!
You’ll agree that I’m not spankable tonight.
I’m dreaming of a pale Christmas.
Though slightly pink might not be bad.
This spoon looks smacky
Your family, they’d be laughing
If I used it, aiming for your ass!
I’m dreaming of a pale Christmas
I think this dream is fading fast.
I’m starting to think
I won’t look bad in pink
Tonight when you spank me ‘til I crack.
I’m dreaming of a pale Christmas.
Yet we both know I won’t last.
You love that I push
I love that you cush-
ion me, right across your lap.
I’m dreaming of a pale Christmas
Maybe next year I will try.
Now I whine and wait
Knowing I sealed my fate
And I’ll be thrown over your lap.
I’m dreaming of a pale Christmas
We saved this present last.
I unwrap the gift
And slowly lift
The cane that you got for my ass.
Next year will be a pale Christmas.
No threats to paddle me, you’ll see.
I’ll behave, be merry, and bright!
You’ll agree that I’m not spankable that night.
"Oh no. No no no no no. I's not reading this."
"Read it." Abby glared "Or I'll fight you. I'll sing it to you. Outloud. I'll bring it to Lydia and Shereen and they'll sing it to you."
Thomas glared back, holding it for a bit until he huffed "Fine."
12 Days of Kinkmas
On the first day of Kinkmas my top gave to me,
A nice rosy bum for all to see!
On the second day of Kinkmas my top gave to me,
Two sets of cuffs,
And a nice rosy bum for all to see!
On the third day of Kinkmas my top gave to me,
Three knives for whittling,
Two sets of cuffs,
And a nice rosy bum for all to see!
On the fourth day of Kinkmas my top gave to me,
Four gags for quiet,
Three knives for whittling,
Two sets of cuffs,
And a nice rosy bum for all to see!
On the fifth day of Kinkmas my top gave to me,
Five warning looks!
Four gags for quiet,
Three knives for whittling,
Two sets of cuffs,
And a nice rosy bum for all to see!
On the sixth day of Kinkmas my top gave to me,
Six butt plug sizes,
Five warning looks!
Four gags for quiet,
Three knives for whittling,
Two sets of handcuffs,
And a nice rosy bum for all to see!
On the seventh day of Kinkmas my top gave to me,
Seven scary canes,
Six plug sizes,
Five warning looks!
Four gags for quiet,
Three knives for whittling,
Two sets of cuffs,
And a nice rosy bum for all to see!
On the eighth day of Kinkmas my top gave to me,
Eight different paddles,
Seven scary canes,
Six plug sizes,
Five warning looks!
Four gags for quiet,
Three knives for whittling,
Two sets of cuffs,
And a nice rosy bum for all to see!
On the ninth day of Kinkmas my top gave to me,
Nine whipping whips
Eight different paddles
Seven scary canes,
Six plug sizes,
Five warning looks!
Four gags for quiet,
Three knives for whittling,
Two sets of cuffs,
And a nice rosy bum for all to see!
On the tenth day of Kinkmas my top gave to me,
Ten ropes for tying
Nine whipping whips
Eight different paddles
Seven scary canes,
Six plug sizes,
Five warning looks!
Four gags for quiet,
Three knives for whittling,
Two sets of cuffs,
And a nice rosy bum for all to see!
On the eleventh day of Kinkmas my top gave to me,
Eleven ginger fingers,
Ten ropes for tying,
Nine whipping whips,
Eight different paddles
Seven scary canes,
Six plug sizes,
Five warning looks!
Four gags for quiet,
Three knives for whittling,
Two sets of cuffs,
And a nice rosy bum for all to see!
On the twelfth day of Kinkmas my top gave to me,
TWELVE BRAND NEW IKEA SPOONS
Eleven ginger fingers,
Ten ropes for tying,
Nine whipping whips,
Eight different paddles
Seven scary canes,
Six plug sizes,
Five warning looks!
Four gags for quiet,
Three knives for whittling,
Two sets of cuffs,
And a nice rosy bum for all to see!