Chapter Text
The wind whipped at Dannyl's face as he pedalled like a madman down the middle of the road. He was probably going faster than was entirely wise, but there was no one around on a miserable night in January, and every second that he delayed threatened to shred his already frayed nerves. When he'd left he'd been bubbling over with excitement, but as his every pedalstroke drew him closer he became less sure of how this was going to play out. I won't know until I get there, and I have to at least try, he told himself. Wait where do I need to turn? Shit! Right here!
He hit the brakes hard. Too hard. Fallen leaves from a nearby tree had created a patch of sludge and grime on the corner that was thick and wet so as he decelerated into it he completely lost traction. His back wheel slid out and he hit the ground heavily and went sprawling over the tarmac.
He blinked a little and he sat up slowly. His hands, face, and hip all hurt a lot and even though it was dark he could feel from the wetness that he was smeared in mud.
He looked around but the street was empty. No one had seem him fall. He poked his thigh and wiggled his toes. Nothing felt broken, just horribly bruised, so he gingerly got to his feet. He leant down to pick up his bicycle, shoulder and back protesting. It appeared to be in one piece. It'd take more than one idiot going too fast to put this hunk of junk out of commission. He thought with amusement. God I hope I'm not concussed. Either way he'd gone too far to head back now so he steeled his nerves and got back on, determined not to waste any more time.
When Dannyl arrived he threw his bike against the railings, ran up the steps and impatiently jabbed at the buzzer. It sounded horribly loud in the quiet street but he didn't care. He waited for an agonising minute before he realised no one was coming and he tried again. And again and again. He looked up and there were no lights on in the whole building. He pressed again and held it, not letting go. Come on!
He only stopped when he heard the sound of a window creaking open. He looked up to see a bleary-eyed Tayend lean out. Even from two floors up he was visibly furious.
"For the love of all that is holy some of us are trying to get our beauty sl-!" He yelled, cutting off and blinking in surprise when he saw who the culprit was. "Dannyl?"
"Can I come up?" He shouted back.
He could see the Librarian biting his lip and for a horrid moment he thought he might tell him exactly where to stuff his uninvited midnight appearance.
However the man relented, though he didn't sound all that happy about it. "... alright. Two seconds."
He disappeared from the window. Dannyl shoved the door open the instant he heard the crackly unlock tone, heart racing, and took the stairs two at a time. Afraid that if he waited a moment longer he would never get a second chance.
Tayend was waiting for him in the doorway, face creasing in a frown. He was in his pyjamas, and between his bedhead and the look in his eyes Dannyl could see that he must have woken him up.
"Dannyl what are you doing here? It's the middle of the bloody night!"
"I've got something I need to tell you and it's really important and it couldn't wait!" He blurted out in one breath.
"You've not been answering any of my messages, and now you barge up here-!" He stopped, eyes dropping. "Wait, you're bleeding. Why are you bleeding?"
His touch was delicate as he took Dannyl's chin and moved it slightly so he could see better where he'd cut the side of his face. Dannyl turned over his own hands to find them shaking and quite deeply grazed.
"I, um, was going too quickly. I fell off." He said apologetically, unsure how to hold his filthy hands. He was suddenly hit again by the sense of urgency he'd felt when he'd ran out of his front door. "Tayend I really, really need to tell you something. Like, right now actually."
"Can it not wait until you're not getting blood all over everything?" He indicated to Dannyl's hands then looked down and pinched part of his tracksuit bottoms. Dannyl could feel them sticking to something underneath and a red stain was spreading through the white striping down the side.
He tried to protest but Tayend wasn't having any of it. He led him to the bathroom and threw a towel at him. "Take them off so I can take a look at your hip." He pointed at Dannyl's ruined trousers, before turning on his heels and closing the door firmly behind him.
Dannyl stripped off his coat and jumper, both were filthy. His arm and shoulder seemed mostly unscathed, though he bet there'd be bruises tomorrow. He winced as he peeled off his tracksuit bottoms. The cuts weren't deep like on his hands but he'd lost a fair amount of skin, creating a scathe of roadrash that ran from the top of his hipbone to his thigh. He carefully wrapped the towel round his waist, marking the white cloth, then opened the door to allow Tayend back in.
"You're a right mess." The Linguist commented dryly as he got to work.
He got Dannyl to sit on the toilet seat while he filled the sink with soapy water. He pulled a first aid kit and a cloth from the cupboard behind the mirror. When the sink was full and steaming hot he stuck the cloth in and lifted it first to Dannyl's face.
He recoiled. "Ah! That stings!"
Tayend creased his brow deeper and steadfastly ignored Dannyl's whining. Despite that, his touch was as gentle as it could be, slowly cleaning the edges of the cuts. Up close Dannyl could see unfamiliar dark circles beneath his friend's eyes, which were also slightly pink where they should normally be white, as though he had been crying. He felt a pang in his stomach.
"I know the way I've treated you for the past few weeks had been really awful and Tayend I'm so, so sorry. You've got to let me find way to make it up to you." He bit his lip. "You're my best friend."
The Librarian didn't meet his eyes, and Dannyl watched as he worked his jaw. "You should have thought of that before you ghosted me." He said bitterly
"That's why I'm here, to explain myself!"
He finally looked directly at Dannyl. "Spit it out then."
He drew in a deep breath, and let it out slowly.
"I've just... not been entirely honest with you."
The Linguist's eyes widened slightly. He paused, his face so close to Dannyl's he could feel the ghost of his breath on his cheek. "What do you mean?"
"See Gao, my friend from school," Tayend's frown returned. Dannyl swallowed, looking away. It'll be a relief just to finally tell someone. "The things they said about us, well," His voice shook a little. "They were all true."
He glanced back to his friend and was surprised to see him breaking into a small smile.
Dannyl couldn't seem to stop his mouth from running. "Well not the catching us being the bike sheds thing, that would be disgusting. We shared a room Fergun for crying out loud!" He laughed nervously. "But we were...er... batting for the other team. Doing things boys aren't supposed to do together."
Watching Tayend's face, Dannyl was more surprised to see that tentative smile change into a grin. "I know."
Dannyl frowned. "How could you know? I didn't even... remember until now."
"Remember?" Tayend let out a quiet laugh and tilted his head to one side. "How could you forget something like that?"
"I think I just managed to persuade myself that what we'd been doing was, I don't know, normal teenage experimentation? Or that I was just trying to spite the other boys and my Dad. After a couple of years I just smoothered it entirely." He grimaced. "But it didn't change anything, I think it just made me empty inside."
Tayend sobered a little. "That sounds awful."
"Yes and no. Probably explains why I have so few friends, it's hard to let people in when you're busy holding so much of yourself back. I suppose I was lonely, but it was a dull kind of loneliness. You can't get hurt if you don't get entangled with anyone in the first place." He paused. "But is that really living?"
Tayend didn't answer. Looking at the Linguist, he thought he saw a hint of wariness in his face.
"You knew," He said slowly. "But you couldn't say anything."
Tayend shrugged. "It was more like a guess. And even if I was right, I knew there was a chance you'd never admit it."
"But I am." He said, with a certainty he hadn't expected.
His friend broke back into a grin, and let out a small giggle. "Say it. Out loud. Say it."
Dannyl let out an exasperated laugh. "Tayend I'm trying to be serious!"
"You asked what you could do to make up for being such a shit friend for the past however many weeks." He prodded Dannyl in the centre of his chest, eyes creasing. "I want you to say it properly."
Dannyl took in another deep breath, butterflies rising unexpectedly in his stomach. "Tayend, what I'm trying to say is that," He looked his friend right in the eyes. "I'm gay."
Relief flooded through Dannyl at those words. Words he'd never said to anyone, not even to Gao.
Tayend beamed back at him and took his uninjured cheek in one hand, running a thumb over it and sending shivers down Dannyl's spine. "I'm proud of you."
Dannyl's heart felt warm and giddy and light. He opened his mouth to continue but was disappointed when Tayend pulled his hand away and cut in. "You do look dreadful you know. When was the last time you shaved?" He looked down. "God and you’re bleeding all over my nice towel! Let's get you cleaned up properly."
Much to Dannyl's relief Tayend declared the damage to be superficial, and cleaned and patched him up as best he could, though the gauze pads on his palms kept threatening to fall off with every movement. After, they went to Tayend's bedroom and he handed him the same clothes of Ali's that he'd slept in before, saying to throw his muddy and bloody things into the corridor so that he could put them in the wash.
Great, not only did I only get through half of what I wanted to say, Dannyl thought, now I have to do it dressed up as his evil ex boyfriend who I know looks like the brand name version of me. He felt a nervous pull in his stomach. What if Mayrie was wrong? What if it was Velend after all? He shut his eyes and took a deep breath. I'm never going to know unless I ask.
He finished changing and picked up his dirty clothes, glancing around the room to make sure he'd not missed anything. Then he saw it. There, folded neatly on the pillow, was his purple hoodie. He brushed his fingers over it and let the familiar feeling of the fabric light a spark of hope in his belly.
Though it was really, very late now, he found Tayend making them both tea in the kitchen. They took it through to the living room and sat on the sofa. Dannyl was still full of nervous energy. Brain running over, thinking about what Tayend had just said to him.
"How did you know?"
Tayend just laughed. "Don't take this the wrong way Dannyl, but you just give off an extremely strong homosexual energy."
"I don't know what you mean." He felt his ears starting to go red.
Tayend started listing off on his fingers. "You live with the president and the postgrad officer for the LGBT society. You're vegetarian. You have an encyclopaedic knowledge of Twilight. You love Oscar Wilde, and the Smiths." He shook his head. "I thought you were gay for the first, I don't know, three weeks we knew each other? It never even occurred to me to ask because it seemed so bleeding obvious. That's half the reason I was so confused when you assumed I was straight, I thought we were going on a date." Suddenly he smacked Dannyl on the thigh and laughed loudly. "I thought – dear lord you're going to hate me – I thought Fergun was your ex!"
"You did not!"
Tayend waved a hand at him, still laughing. "You can't exactly blame me! All you said was 'we have a bit of a history'."
Dannyl frowned. "Wait, rewind. You invited me on a date?"
Tayend cocked his head to one side. "The theatre. Don't you remember?"
"I thought that was just because Aisha couldn't go?"
"Yes, and who did I chose to invite? The tall, dark, and handsome man I kept running into and wanted to get to know a little better." Tayend raised an eyebrow at him.
Dannyl felt his flush spreading to his cheeks. He scratched the back of his head self-consciously. "You can't have meant me then, I'm hardly handsome."
"Oh don't be coy, you know what affect you have on people." Tayend jabbed him in the side and Dannyl winced exaggeratedly . Tayend's eyes went wide in momentary horror, before Dannyl broke into a grin remining him that he'd fallen on his other side. He jabbed him again, harder. "You can be so annoying sometimes!"
Dannyl shoved him away. "I could say the same for you!" He laughed, before trailing off, finding his fingers lingering on Tayend's collarbone, only thin fabric between him and the man's skin. He looked up into his face, unable to drag his eyes away.
It was Tayend's turn to go violently pink. He looked sheepishly away from Dannyl and took a big gulp of his drink. Dannyl was still staring when he glanced back. "What are you looking at me like that for?"
His hair was still all askew, golden curls frizzed around the edges and falling into his face, and the dark circles between his eyes hadn't gone away. But, to Dannyl, the small smile that pulled at his lips and the amused crease between his soft eyes meant he still looked beautiful. He worked his jaw, tongue suddenly feeling like lead in his mouth.
When he finally got it to work, his voice was quiet. "Was it really me all along?" His heart sat tight in his chest.
Tayend's eyes creased round the edges and his smile widened. "You are such an idiot." He took Dannyl's face one hand and pulled him in.
His lips felt perfect and soft against Dannyl's, which were still chapped from the wind and the cold. His stubble must have been scratching at Tayend's cleanly shaved jawline, but he made no complaint, just pressed their lips more firmly together and tangled his fingers into Dannyl's hair. Dannyl suddenly remembered that he could move as well and he gently took Tayend's head in both of his hands, cradling it and pushing the pads of his fingers into the prickle of the shaved down sides. His dressings were in the way, but he paid them no mind, focused as he was on the feeling of those soft lips.
Dannyl had never thought he liked kissing all that much. Whenever he'd done it before he'd been filled with thoughts of Am I doing this right? and what if we get caught? Or, later, with his ex how long do I have to keep this up before it's acceptable to stop? This was so different, it felt like his heart was about to pool and melt right out of his chest, like he never wanted to stop, like why haven't we been doing this the whole time? He didn't need to open his eyes to know that Tayend was smiling because he could feel it under his own lips which were pulling themselves up at the corners to match.
He gave into the impulse from New Years and ran his thumb along Tayend's slightly swollen lower lip, velvety soft under his touch. He let it drop to his friend's chin and tilted his head up. Tayend oh so gently dragged his teeth over Dannyl's lip, making him shiver all the way down his spine. Tayend let out a little breath, hot over his cheek when he tried it back, feeling the flesh so delicate and plump under his bite. The hand in his hair gave a little tug and he opened his mouth and felt a warm tongue run over his own. He tentatively touched it back, feeling the obscene hotness and wetness of it set fire to his sensitive nerves. He could hear that was making small noises into Tayend's mouth with every swipe of that clever tongue, but he didn't care. He was really, properly happy. Tayend wound his arms round Dannyl's neck and he dropped his own to Tayend's narrow waist. Pushing up his top until he met smooth, perfect skin, and feeling Tayend melt into him as he did. Their bodies pressing together, all tangled up in long limbs and roaming hands.
Eventually they pulled apart, and Dannyl reluctantly opened his eyes. Tayend was looking up at him through fluttering lashes. His cheeks were rosy and his eyes were startlingly blue. Dannyl teased a curl back out of his face. They shared a quiet laugh and Dannyl pulled them closer until their foreheads were resting together.
"You don’t know how long I've been wanting to do that." Tayend sounded breathless. "You didn't half keep me waiting!"
"I'm glad you did." Dannyl ran a thumb across his cheek. His face hurt from smiling.
"I must have the patience of a-"
Dannyl shut him up with another kiss.
His heart was full and he felt weightless. He was vaguely aware that things wouldn't always be as easy as this felt now, that he still had a long way to go. But he knew, for this person, this man, that he could do anything.
But that wasn't for right now, now they had all the time in the world. Now all he wanted to do was think about the feel of soft lips against his own and the fact that most beautiful man he'd ever known was here, in his arms, with eyes only for him.
In the morning, still heavy with sleep and listening to Tayend clattering about in the kitchen he realised he'd never answered Gao. He picked up his phone and hammered out a message face spreading into an uncontainable grin, heart soaring.
高 俊瑤 Jun-Yiu
> Is that your boyfriend in the picture?? What's his name? How did you meet? You have to tell me everything 😭 😭
Dannyl
> yeah he is!
> It's a bit of a long story. I can't wait to tell you all about it...
