Chapter Text
==> Don't freeze to death.
You try to focus on the clouds of your breath and not the cold of the steel bars of your cage pressing into your back or the uncomfortable rubbing of the shackle fastened around your ankle. This time of year is the worst- Winter is almost unbearable when you have nothing but the tattered canvas of your tent shielding you from the merciless winds. Frostbite is common, but honestly, you think that Gamzee likes the way you look even more ugly than you already did with the bright red splotches spread unevenly across your skin.
Sometimes you think that you'd rather be burning alive.
You hold a black feather between your lips, rubbing it between them carefully. The velvety softness of it was kind of like a saving grace to you. You had managed to tug it off of your performing outfit, and now it provided as warmth as you felt it's smoothness against your own rough lips. Your teeth are chattering, and you know that you won't be getting any sleep tonight.
But then you hear the soft pad of footsteps, and a stream of moonlight brings light into your tent. Your head lifts, and just one glance at the male, only a blurry silhouette against the rays of moonlight, tells you that you might be able to get some rest tonight.
His hair is sticking up in odd angles, and you can briefly see the blue glint of his eyes. He glanced behind himself for a moment to check once more for anyone who might be watching, and fuck was he gorgeous.
“Hey, John.” You croak quietly in the dark after carefully removing the black feather from your lips and tucking it inside the waistband of the threadbare excuse for pants that Kanaya supplied to you. Gamzee had almost forced you to wear nothing. You had no idea what that guy had against you, but at least Kanaya had been kind enough to supply you with the pants.
The young male carefully slipped inside with elegance that nobody else here seemed to have. Actually, you knew that nobody else here possessed such grace as he did, nor possess such a fine ass. Wait, what?
He carries a bundle with him, tucked in his arms like precious cargo. He smiles at you through the bars of the cage as your mutant eyes grow adjusted to the dark once again, and soon he's crouching in front of your cage while you crawl over to him. He lets one hand pass through the bars of the cage, and you take it, bringing it up to your lips for a soft kiss. His skin was so much warmer and even softer than the feather. The tender look on his face reveals everything you needed to know as you drop his hand and he quickly unfolds the package in his arms, his own breath becoming puffs of clouds in the cold as well.
The package, you soon find out, is really a blanket, which he quickly passes to you. Apparently you were shaking pretty bad from the worried look he gave you and the way that his buck teeth nibbled nervously at his bottom lip. He soon gave you an apologetic look, telling you with his eyes that he was sorry for being late. He usually came here earlier, but something must have held him up. You were sure he'd let you know eventually. You wrap the blanket around your shoulders, sighing through your nose in relief as its warmth comforts you.
“Thanks, Egbert.” You hum quietly and he nods before passing you a small burlap sack filled with food. Much better than the meager rations that you receive. You dig in almost immediately, and John only watches you, a sad glimmer to those radiant blue eyes that you know you've fallen in love with. He wants to be inside the cage with you so bad, but you know that's impossible, so you settle with just holding his hand again as you eat. It's silent, but you don't mind- You know that John would talk if he had the ability to. And it's still comfortable. You're always comfortable around him.
Eventually, the burlap sack is tossed aside and your belly is full. You're warm, and John's hands are calloused but soft in your own. Carefully, you lean forward, and he does as well, pressing his lips against your own as best as he can through the bars of your cage. He shoots you a goofy grin once he pulls away, and if you squint you can see the hint of a blush on his cheeks, but both fade as he notices how some of the shadows have shifted. The sun will be rising before too long, and he has to take off before Gamzee can catch him, not to mention he needs some sleep as well. You understand as he motions towards the door with a tic of his head, and only nod in reply.
“I love you, John.” You whisper to him, and god do you love that man. He grins again, nodding to tell you that yes, he loves you too, before squeezing your hand and then pulling away, slipping back through the flap of your tent.
It doesn't take too long for you to drift off to sleep with the new warmth of the blanket and the comfort of a filled stomach. All too soon, though, you're jolted awake by the loud, clanking sound of metal against metal as someone bangs a crowbar against your cage. You look up, squinting to see a pale, creepily grinning face framed by black hair. You recognize that it was Terezi, and groan to yourself. Although it's cool that there's someone here that you won't have to deal with her jostling you about how hideous you look, (since, well, she's blind), she creeps you the fuck out. She's always talking about how she can smell the pretty red of your eyes or some shit. You shudder to yourself while she lets the crowbar clatter to the side.
“Wake up, Coolkid!” Ha ha, very funny. Calling the guy who was grievously burned in a fire a coolkid. Nice one. You hadn't heard that one before. She cackles to herself, her teal but clouded over eyes snapping to you. If that's not unsettling, you have no idea what is.
“You've got a big day ahead of yourself. Can't have you lazing around all day!” She sneers, the predatory grin obvious on her face. You shift around a bit, carefully standing and letting the blanket drop to the floor a little too loudly.
“Oh? What was that, hm? I thought I smelled someone else! Who are you keeping from us, huh?” The reptile lady hummed, and although there wasn't any malice in her voice, it was still creepy as fuck. She twirled the keys around her finger with a cheerful jingling before unlocking your cage with skill that was unnatural for a blind woman while you shifted your jaw around a bit to wake it up and yawned. Soon, she unlocked your shackle as well, grabbing the blanket before you had the chance to kick it behind yourself and pressing it to her face, sniffing deeply.
“Hehehe. I swear to you, Dave Strider, I'll catch the foe responsible for this!”
“Good luck with that. I don't even know who it was, but I'm sure as fuck appreciative of it. You have the comfort of your own cot while I literally have nothing. I should at least have a blanket.” You counter in a groggy grumble, your lie coming off smoothly. You watch her as she sweeps her foot around, but you've already pushed the sack behind you. You'll leave it for John to retrieve anyways.
“Shut it, demon boy. A Pyrope never breaks her promises, you know!” She sneered, leaving the cage and expecting you to follow her.
At this point, you had kind of just accepted that running away wasn't going to do you any good, even when Terezi was the one escorting you. You had tried to escape from this prison that Gamzee called a carnival so many times that they had a cage built for you. Then again, you were the only one not here out of your own free will. But they had always caught you whenever you tried to escape and you had given up with the hope that maybe, if you continued to be good, Gamzee would show some mercy and let you sleep in a regular tent.
It's too bad that Gamzee pretty much hated you.
The blinding light was almost overwhelming as you stepped out of the tent, even though it couldn't have been more than 9:00 in the morning. You cover your eyes, following Terezi blindly by simply feeling the familiar path under your bare feet. You were eventually able to open your eyes without having a headache that was too headsplitting, and you watched as some of your fellow circus members waved at the two of you, shouting greetings. Terezi would always return them. You keep walking, your eyes open for one person and only one person alone.
Soon, through squinted eyes, you recognized John, smiling that adorable smile of his and helping Rose carry some boxes into her tent. The fortune-teller's black lips were pulled into a small smile as her lavender eyes snapped over to you and Terezi and she dipped her head in greeting before continuing on her way into her tent. Rose seemed to be the only one besides John who wasn't constantly judging you or poking fun at you for all of your escape attempts. It was slightly uncomfortable, though, in a way, since she seemed to see straight through you. About pretty much everything. Which, was likely, you supposed- She was a fortune teller, and had to be able to judge people's emotions and thoughts if she was to be successful. You suppose you could consider her a friend.
John soon turned to see the two of you too, his smile turning into a grin as he quickly turned to wave at you and Terezi, nearly throwing his box in the process. You watched with mild amusement as his look of happiness upon seeing you turned to terror and he dove for the box, but wasn't there quick enough. Only inches from the ground, it suddenly froze, levitating in midair and buzzing with a red and blue aura. John visibly let out a sigh.
“Jesus fuck, John, be more careful.” Sollux huffed, his lisp heavily accenting his voice as he let the box gently down to the ground. John only smiled sheepishly and Rose shot a “Thank you, Sollux,” over to the savior of the package. He only rolled his eyes, being the asshole that he was, and mumbled a “Yeah, whatever.” in reply before promptly walking towards the main tent.
Terezi and yourself followed him as he entered the bigtop, and the smell of food reached your nose. You sighed in relief. Cooking that smelled this good could only mean that Kanaya was responsible for breakfast this morning, and ensured that you might actually be able to eat for once. Eventually, everyone crowded into the tent, waiting for Kanaya to finish cooking and for Gamzee to show up, chatting idly. For the most part, they all ignored you, and you were glad for that. Besides, if Gamzee caught any of them talking to you the same way they talked to each other, it wouldn't end well for anyone. So mostly, they just avoided you, although you could occasionally feel their stares burning into you. Soon, the crowd of 16 hushed, and you turned to see Gamzee enter through the tent doors.
Honestly, if you didn't hate him so much, you'd find Gamzee pretty attractive. Even when he was just getting out of bed. His indigo eyes were still red from sleep, and he was smiling lazily at all of you, his hair just a mess on top of his head. You could practically feel Kanaya cringing from the kitchen. His skin was tanned and smooth, but you could tell just by looking at it that his wasn't as soft as John's. He was already dressed in his circus master uniform, a purple vest made of fabric with intricate designs on top of a white shirt, and then puffy, matching purple pants. Hell, he was even wearing his top hat, which was made of the same material. “Morning, motherfuckers. We've got a big day ahead of us and we'll be performing later, so I'd eat right the fuck up if I were you.” He hummed, soon walking to the kitchen. Before long, the rest of the others were streaming in after him, and you left the tent out of the alternate exit. Shit, you totally forgot that you were actually putting on a show tonight.
You let out a sigh through your nose and walk around to the back of the tent, where the kitchen was attached, and wait until the sound of forks and spoons have died down and people have gone to prepare before entering the kitchen. Kanaya was waiting patiently, scrubbing at plates and silverware with her white sleeves rolled up to her elbows as she worked pleasantly. Her hair was short and black, but styled much differently (and much better) than Terezi's. She made the outfits for the carnival, and she couldn't live without looking appropriate, so even when she was working she was wearing a dark green vest with white sleeves, and a black, lacy skirt. Her skin was darker than even Tavros', a deep chocolate, but it suited her, making her look both exotic and elegant. She glanced over to you with dark emerald eyes, brought out by makeup that she must have spent a fortune on, and smiled quietly, gesturing to a plate she had made up for you.
“I already prepared it for you, if you don't mind.” She greeted you softly, her strangely articulate voice low as she went back to cleaning the dishes.
“Nah, it's fine. Thanks, by the way.” You answer her, shooting her a smirk even though she wasn't really looking and taking a seat at one of the tables. She nods.
You eventually finish eating, and by this time, Kanaya has already left. She's very polite, and you know that on different occasions, she would stay and clean up for you, but it's performance day, and she has a lot of work to do. Not just with preparing her own act, but also with patching up everyone else's costumes. She's generous, and you're pretty sure that besides John and maybe Rose, she's the only one here that you fully trust.
You carefully clean your own plate, tossing it with the others halfheartedly and stuffing the silverware in the band of your loose pants. With John bringing you food at night, it's kind of nice to have something to eat with, you suppose. Even if it will get you in trouble eventually.
You slip out of the tent, looking around to see if anybody is watching you and walking back to your own tent to stash away your silverware.
You have a lot to prepare for, anyways.