Chapter Text
Alex opened her shot-colored orbs and breathed bretahily. Colleen Ballinger picked her up, strumming her out of tune strands of music strings with a gentle, delicate touch. Alex purred under her strumming, trembling as the vibrations of the slow chord echoed in her inner chambers.
“Wake up, y/n!” A sweet and honey-like American voice yelled out in my ears with an American accent. “The car stopped! You have to wake up!”
I tried to let out a cord from my banded strings, but a garbled noise came out.
“Time to tune the toxic gossip train,” Colleen Ballinger whispered and I screamed, snapping awake.
“Are you okay, Котенок?” Russia, or Ivan asked me. Oh, just in case you didn’t know, that funky little word means k-kitten~ in Russian. Because I’m his little kitten, hehe.
“Y-yeah…” I whimper. “Just a nightmare.” I tremble in Alfred’s arms, his naked body curled around me shivering body. “...Maybe it was a prophecy…from Starclan…” I whisper (canon).
“You passed out before Atlas finished telling us what she meant when she said we were going to save the world,” Kafka crooned sultrily to me. “Apparently, your Alfred’s abs were too much for you.”
“Kya~,” I murmur again, dreamily focusing on the feeling of America’s abdominal muscles flexing against my skin. I suddenly focus back on the plot, pushing all simping thoughts to the dark side of my huge brain. “Wait, then what did I miss?”
“Well-” a large honk cuts me off as a truck sidles next to the limousine we are all sitting in.
“BEACH EPISODE!” Mammon yells from the drivers seat, popping open the front door and jumping onto warm, crunchy sand. Atlas and Aventurine laugh and scramble after them, Splat eagerly dragging her Star Rail women with her.
“This means… beach clothes… hehehe…nya….” Splat mutters in a high-pitched tone as she steps out.
“Time to lookxmaxx under the sun,” Spirit commands, gesturing for Danny Phantom and Ticktactoe Chardonnay to follow them into the sun.
“Our turn,” Alfred sultrily says in a sultry sexy American voice. I perk up and follow. Alfred is already just about ready for the beach- his oiled up, glistening torso fitting in with the bright sunny ocean atmosphere. Ivan, glaring balefully at his sexy supple skin, takes off his coat and layers tto reveal milky pale skin- slender and muscled at the same time for peak sexiness.
“Let’sz go,” he murmurs to me, grasping my hand in his large palm and tugging me out of the limousine.
The sun and sand are so bright, I have to blink for a few moments to get the spots out of my eyes.
A bang next to me makes me jump, and I notice the truck door slamming closed to reveal a blonde stepping down, that same strangle Veggitales x Nobody’s Perfect theme song still streaming loudly from the inside of the truck.
“Who…?” I begin before I’m interrupted.
“And just who are you?” ToetoToe ShamefulDisplay cuts me off, stepping in front of Spirit protectively, who raises and eyebrow before nudging the bottom behind them.
“This is another ally,” Atlas pipes up. “She’s got her own vehicle though.”
“I’m Marblp,” she smiles evilly. “But name is genderfluid so don’t be surprised if it changes.”
(For legal reasons, this is an inside joke about shoes, if ur genderfuild i love you this isnt transphobic pleeeaase dont cancel me trans rights)
“Omg…” Splat’s eyes start sparkling. “You… you don’t have any men with you!!! Can I sit in the back of your truck with… my lovely ladies…”
Marble stares at her blankly for a full 58 seconds. “No.”
Splat crumples to the ground, Black Swan and Kafka holding her up by the arms as she dangles onto the sand.
Atlas pops out of the car (again, she went back in for sunscreen with her men), Aventurine and Mammon following sexily. She smirks smirkily at Marblp.
“Knew you’d make it, I heard you speeding down the highway,” Atlas peeks inside the truck, pausing. “Wait- are they not with you?”
“Who?” Marblop sips her coffee (she spills like half of it on Splat, still lying in the sand. Splat screeches and jumps into Black Swan’s arms, crying about the burns. It is iced coffee.) before her eyes light up. “Wait… my harem?!?”
“Yeah, duh???” Atlas quirks an eyebrow (heh… quirk…. like my hero academia… or boku no hero academia if you will… my anime fans… my anime fans… naruto…! Sasuke…! 𝓼𝓱𝓪𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓪𝓷.) and tugs her men forward by their ties. “I got mine, Alex (or Y/N) woke up with hers, Spirit showed up with theirs, and Splat…” she eyes the uwuing face of Splat in the arms of the Honkai: Star Rail women. “...yeah. Where are yours?”
Marplb pouts in a very aegyo way.
“I don’t know, I’ve been road raging around this apocalyptic city looking for… looking for…” stars enter her eyes. “M-Martha May Whovier…!”
Two groans escape from the back of Marbpl’s truck and she jumps around.
“W-Who…? Wait, it must be…!” her eyes glow gojo blue in a way perhaps familiar to one of the three main abrahamic religions. From the back of the truck emerges…
“Who are y’all…?” Reggie from famous and incredible childhood film Labou groans, leaning over the seats. The light in Marblp’s eyes dims.
“A twink?” Danny Phantom puts his sharp animated chin on Spirit shoulder.
Behind the twink, comes (heh…)...
“Where the fuck am I?” April Smuntz from notorously traumatizing childhood (I’d personally argue against that) film that Marblp irl considers, perhaps incorrectly, beloved by all: Mousehunt shoves Reggie over the seats, leaving him to fall down, tripping out into a sprawl on the sand. April gracefully hops out, a prim cocktail glass in her hand. The woman is already in an elegant two piece.
The light in Marblps eyes flickers slightly.
“Sigh,” she sighs. “Atleast I have April.”
“You have me?” April raises an eyebrow. “We’ll see about that.”
“OKAY,” I say, snapping the attention back to myself because hello? I’m the main character? This is my (hero academia) story!? “What exactly are we doing right now??”
“Havin’ a beach episode,” Mammon wraps a tanned arm around Atlas’s shoulders and throws a cheesy grin my way. “Duh?”
Aventurine’s shrewd gaze meets Alfred’s.
“Wanna go be stereotypical blond men and idk do blond man things in the ocean?” the gambling man questions the American.
Alfred smiles toothily, brushing sultrily past me, teeth twinkling as he picks up Aventurine, who yelps, and runs towards the shore.
Ivan eyes Mammon and Danny Fenton, and their matching ivory locks, sighs. Both meet his gaze, and he mimes out building a sandcastle, pointing at the sand. The three stoically nod at one another before Danny and Mammon smirk, Danny streaking off to the sand and Mammon throwing Russia over his shoulder, yelling after the teen.
Reggie stares blankly at their surroundings.
“Wait… there might be oil here…” he whispers, blinking with gay innocence in his eyes. “And… And maybe a pirate twink…!” He runs off as well.
Black Swan and Kafka both sidle over to April, ignoring Splat’s exaggerated agonized cries. April holds out her cocktail glass, Black Swan taking it immediately, sipping it with a contented sigh. April pulls another one out from… ??? where did it come from ??? wait, guys no deadass where the fuck did she get that from
She hollds it out to Kafka who quickly downs it, returning the glass. April silently stares at her, the glass, and smirks. She takes it, throwing it into the back of the truck, where glass shattering echoes epicly. She pulls out a bottle of vodka from ? dude what the FUCK where are these coming from ??? portable bar what ??? and hands it to Kafka, who gratefully takes it and begins drinking with more temperance. April pulls out a final cocktail glass form fuck knows where and clinks it against Black Swan’s. The three women wander over to some conveniently placed umbrellas, and drink peacefully.
“Ok i think they’re all busy now,” Atlas comments, surveying the scene. She turns back to me, Splat (who sighs and stands up kind of normally), Spirit, and Marblp. “We need to talk.”
The waves crash ominously against the shore on this picturesque day and Atlas’ eyes darken.
Her gaze meets mine.
“This world is in danger, and we are the only ones standing in this way.”
(To be continued.)