Chapter Text
Ilya blinks, sunlight started to pour into his bedroom, he hadn't bothered shutting the curtains before falling into a fitful sleep. He rubbed at his chest as if he could massage away the hurt in his heart. He shouldn't have fought with Shane, he knew that. He was just being protective, of course Sophia was a stranger but, well he didn't want her to be. He thought about his mama, what would she say to him if she could be here now. "Your heart Ilya, it is bigger than the whole sky."
After a few minutes Ilya walked out of his bedroom, headed towards the kitchen but stopped. The remnants of his meal with Shane were gone, the kitchen wiped down. He walked over to the living room and stopped. There, sleeping on the couch was his stupid protective boyfriend, face scrunched up as if he was having a bad dream. Ilya rubbed at his chest again, his heart hurting in an entirely different way.
Of course he didn't leave.
He walked over, bending down to smooth out the crease forming on Shane's forehead. As Shane mumbled waking up. Ilya leaned over and kissed his freckles. Before he could pull back he felt strong arms wrap around his shoulders landing him on top of Shane. He did his best to wrap his arms around Shane squeezing between the couch cushions.
"I love you." Shane said into his ear. "I'm sorry for freaking out." Ilya started to shake his head but Shane squeezed him tighter.
Ilya propped himself on his elbows looking down at Shane's beautiful face. "You stayed," was all he could say. Shane leaned up planting a sweet kiss on his lips.
"I told you once that I'd never run away again." Shane said, wiping away the tear forming in Ilya's eye.
"I'm sorry too I was being...unreasonable." He sat back as Shane motioned for him to let him up.
He rubbed circles into Ilya's hand and looked at him very seriously. It made Ilya tingle just a little. It was the same face he had when he was concentrating on hockey, intense and analyzing.
"I never want you to feel like you're alone." Shane began, "I know the move, the hiding, the having to be a part all season sucks. So if meeting this girl..."
"Sophia"
"Sophia, has helped in any way then I'm glad you have made a friend." Shane squeezed Ilyas hands. "You should tell her...about us."
"Yeah?" Ilya smiled "She might not even know who Shane Hollander is. She did not know Ilya Rozonav name until recently and I am the most famous player in NHL"
"Asshole" They laughed as Shane tackled him back down on the couch.
Shane had left later that morning. Ilya felt lighter, the ache of missing him, of not being able to show off his kind caring boyfriend to the world was still there but at least now Shane understood why Sophia coming into his life had been so important. He even asked to meet her one day which had delighted him. He knew once Shane saw them side by side he could not deny the family resemblance.
Sophia: Your house has it's own gate.
Ilya: Code is 1410.
Ilya has invited her over to his house, he wanted to show her the few photos he had of his...or their...family. He went to the kitchen checking to make sure the pot of coffee was still hot, he didn't know if she even wanted coffee but he wanted to be prepared. He made sure his living room was tidy, TV turned on to some random sports channel, for background noise. A minute passed, then two. Where was she? He pulled out his phone to look at his security cameras. There in the driveway was a beat up Honda CRV. He scoffed, this car in his driveway will ruin his cool car guy reputation. He waited a beat to see if she would get out, when she didn't he grabbed his jacket and headed outside.
Ilya walked up and tapped on Sophia's window. She was sat staring at his garage, eyebrows drawn mouth turned down. She jumped a little at his tap but rolled down the window.
"Inviting you to my house Sophia means going inside of the house." He said.
"It occurred to me you could be a murderer."
He rolled his eyes and walked over to the passenger side, motioning to let him in. As he settled himself in her car he glanced over, she was still gripping the steering wheel as if she was about to take off. It was at that point that he noticed her ungloved hands, and the ring on her left ring finger. She hadn't told him she was married, right? As he thought he looked around the rest of her car, it wasn't dirty but she had a lot of...things. Her console was stuffed with CDs, her teacher badge hung around her mirror along with a cartoon bear air freshener.
"Cute" He said, flicking the bear.
"Stop it." She said swatting at his hand.
"Your car is old."
"You're old." She mumbled.
Ilya laughed, glancing at Sophia trying to figure out what was bothering her. She had finally taken her hands off the wheel and was toying with the ring on her finger. He raised his eyebrows at her.
"I'm married." She finally said, looking at him with a hint of defensiveness in her eyes. "My wife, Adriana, is the reason we moved to Ottawa." It took him a moment to process what she was telling him. He broke out into a grin as she stared him down, she wasn't scared or embarrassed, she was preparing to kick his ass out of the car if he didn't say the right thing.
"I have a boyfriend." He finally said. "His name is Shane Hollander, he is the reason I am in Ottawa." His heart felt so light, it was nice to say those words out loud. Sophia finally broke out into a grin he knew matched his own. She nodded and said, "Okay. Lets go." and hopped out of the car. He understood then, she had to check, make sure his house was a safe space. It broke his heart a little that she wasn't sure.
As they walked into this house Sophia immediately started walking around looking at anything and everything. Oh great his sister was a snoop.
"This place is so...male." She strolled around the living room, glancing at the few framed articles and photos he had of his accomplishments.
"So, Shane Hollander. Does he live here with you? Do you always call him by his full name? Why do you have no pictures of him, you know that is what I'm looking for right?"
Ilya crossed his arms as she paced around and rambled.
"We do not have many pictures together." He finally said.
"Why not? Is he camera shy? Because there is no way in a million years I'd believe you were."
She paused in front of his bookshelves, the thought finally dawning on her, she turned to Ilya eyes full of sympathy."You aren't...out are you? Big famous hockey player I just realized I only know or well, heard of one hockey player coming out recently and I don't think that was you, right?"
"Scott Hunter." He sneered a little, his no hockey knowledge sister had heard of Scott Hunter and not him?
She nodded, waiting for him to continue.
"Shane is also hockey player, for Montreal. He is almost as famous and rich as me." Sophia rolled her eyes but sat on his couch, the same couch Shane had been sleeping on not too long ago.
"We are not out. We have this..." He plopped down on the couch next to her. "The media, the fans, the whole league thinks we are big rivals. Since our rookie year we have always competed against each other but, I love him, and no one knows." He smiled down sadly at her, "You should look him up, he is very pretty, has done a lot of ads." She scrunched up her nose at that but nodded.
"Thank you for telling me and I won't out you or him, I mean not like I have anyone to tell, except my wife, and she wouldn't tell a soul plus I don't really know many people in Ottawa still."
She blew out a breathe "Adriana, is not going to believe this she was sure my big jock mystery brother would have a problem with us." She smiled to herself, "Want to see a picture of her?" She pulled out her phone, her lockscreen was a picture of two women sitting on the porch of a house, arms around each other. He recognized Sophia, obviously, in a hoodie and long curls her smile was wide, familiar. The dark brunette next to her must be Adriana, she had dark eyes and smiled with her mouth closed, she was squeezing Sophia like she never wanted to let go. You could tell just be looking at them how much they loved each other.
He wanted to pull out his own photo of him and Shane, wanting to show off their love but they didn't keep pictures like that. He could search for pictures of them, there were plenty of them on the ice or at conferences for their charity but he doubted you would be able to see the love between them, they've grown too good at hiding it.
"Tell me about her."
Sophia lit up as if asked about her favorite topic. He learned Adriana is a soccer player, they moved to Ottawa so she could be the goalie for the Ottawa Tides. They met in college and have been married for a little over a year. She was an only child, she almost said like me but stopped herself.
"I think yall would be friends" She said, "Or I hope you would be, she is competitive though so actually maybe you wouldn't be friends." Ilya laughed. "I'd like to meet her."
"Yeah?" Sophia asked "She wants to meet you too of course oh also she did know who you were, I guess her dad follows hockey or something so she's familiar with"
"The famous rich players like me. I've very rich and famous"
"Whatever" Sophia said rolling her eyes "Okay enough about my wife."
"Yes time for family story, family tale?"
"Family history?"
"Da"
Ilya stood to get the box of photos he had stored away, he didn't have any framed which he was now regretting. As if his family was some shameful secret he had to tuck away.
"Wait." Sophia said, stopping him. As he sat back down she said, "Maybe first you just tell me about them. I don't know if I'm ready to...I don't know if I'm read to see yet."
"You have seen me"
"Yeah but I didn't have a choice with that, your face is everywhere." She said waving her hand in the air. "And don't tell me how rich and famous you are I'm sitting in your mansion I GET IT." He laughed because he was about to do just that.
He still itched to grab the photos, he at least wanted to show her mama, how their curls are exactly the same, and the way their mouths turn down in the same way. It pains him that he has no video of her, he wanted Sophia to really see her, see how much he sees them in each other but he didn't want to scare her away so he sat back down.
"It will not be a very...happy story." He began, "But I will tell you as much as I can."
And he did, he started with how his parents met, an arranged meeting between fathers, Irina was much younger then Gregorovich, he doesn't think they ever actually loved each other. How his older brother Alexia was born, with him shortly after. How they never got along, not even as kids. How hard his father was on his mother, him, every one. How much he loved Irina, her laugh, her smile, even her frowns which he often saw. He told her about the year he thinks she was born, how his mother had disappeared and his father had left him and Alexia with Svetlana's family.
He had to pause surprised at the tears that welled when talking about her death. He had said it many times before but sitting here with Sophia it is like he could feel his mother with them and he missed her so much. Sophia scooted closer to him, wrapping her arm around his and rested her head on his shoulder until he calmed down. He was thankful for the closeness and she didn't pull away when he relaxed into the couch.
He told her about hockey, moving to America and Alexia's constant need for more and more money. He made sure to mention Natalia, his niece, and how he left her a trust fund even if he could no longer see her. He tried to explain the fucked up relationship between himself and Alexia and his father when he got sick. That once his father was gone he had not been back to Russia, had not talked to Alexia and thought he had no family left until a strange girl showed up in the parking lot of his arena looking like the ghost of his mama.
They sat in silence for a bit, he realized at some point tears had also formed in Sophia's eyes and she was silently crying next to him.
"Okay" Sophia said, sitting up "First of all. Thank you and I'm sorry and don't get offended," He looked at her raising his eyebrows "I think we need that DNA test"
He scoffed, that is what she got from their family history? He was about to argue when she said, "No listen, Irena was young when she got married and if she looked like us or we look like her than she was very attractive." He laughed, he couldn't help himself "I am NOT talking about you mister rich and famous, I happen to know I am not ugly anyways" He couldn't deny her that, Harris had told him, after he saw her in the hospital, that she could've been a model. Of course she could, Ilya had said, she is female me.
"What if," Sophia started, looking nervous "What if Irina..I mean...what if we don't share the same dad?"
Ilya felt his stomach drop, he had never even considered his mother having an affair, his father would be furious, furious enough to force her to...give the baby up.
"Yes. We should test DNA." He said quietly, grappling with the possibility of having to rewrite the story of his mother.