Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

The first time they were told that the brother they had cut off was coming back to their lives, Angin was horrified.

After finally getting over everything they had to go through because of him…

They suddenly had to take care of him?!

What kind of twisted fate was this?

Angin huffed and glared at his baking materials wanting nothing more but to bake sweets but had been told to stop because Cahaya wasn't allowed any.

And according to Tanah, they should be more mindful and considerate of him since they always knew he had a sweet tooth and that they should try to support him by eating a healthy diet alongside him.

He tried to express his frustration, but Air suddenly backed Tanah up, catching Angin off guard.

Air loves his desserts!

For him to give it up for Cahaya. Just what happened that their perception of the brat had changed?

Was it because they felt sorry for him?

That has got to be it, right?

Angin took another deep breath and practically shoved the utensils back in their cupboard wanting nothing more than to complain how unfair everything was and how he can’t even do anything about it coz he has to walk eggshells around their ‘sick’ brother—

THUD!

The sudden noise jolted Angin; he almost dropped the mixing bowl he was shoving in the cupboard.

“What…”

“ANGIN!” That was Api— and him sounding scared got him to drop everything he was holding with a loud clatter.

His own heart hammered hard against his chest at all the worst case scenarios running through his mind as he yelled back Api’s name while rushing to get upstairs.

The others were out either helping out Tok Aba or doing a grocery run for the house.

At the moment, it was just him, Api and—

“It’s the br- Cahaya!” He skidded to a stop as soon as he arrived at their shared room and felt his heart drop down his stomach at what he saw.

Cahaya was on the ground, curled up, face pale and sweaty— gasping in pain as he tried to hide his face against the floor.

Meanwhile Api was crouched next to him, shaky hands hovering with uncertainty, as he looked at the other— horrified, scared and for some reason— guilty.

He then finally looked up and yelled;

“CALL THE AMBULANCE! NOW!”

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Cahaya unconsciously gripped Tanah's hand as they stood in front of their Tok Aba's house.

His brother immediately turned to him, expression worried before smiling softly as soon as he saw his nervous look.

“What's wrong, Cahaya?” Tanah asked as he pushed away a stray hair from his face, “Talk to me.”

It always threw Cahaya off whenever his brother acted like this.

Sometimes he forgets he's just the same age as him.

“Nothing!” He said indignantly before pulling his hand away, realizing how much of a child he was acting, “I'm fine… I just…”

Tanah patiently stayed quiet as he hesitated to share his apprehension of whether he wanted to even see his other brothers… or if they wanted to see him.

It had been more than a year since he last saw them… and exactly one year when Daun left.

So he can't help but imagine them getting all angry after doing everything they can to leave him just because he was a being a little brat— okay, now he was the one getting annoyed—

“SOMEONE GET THE FIRE EXTINGUISHER!”

The door slammed open and Tanah barely managed to pull him aside when a blue blur ran past them and threw a metal pan covered in flames to the ground before stomping on it like crazy.

“We don't have a fire extinguisher, you idiot!” Then came Petir running out with a bucket of water and throwing it hastily without a thought to the burning pan and unfortunately to the teen who had been stomping on it…

…which happened to be Angin.

“GAHHH!” Angin exclaimed in horror, “WHY'D YOU THROW THE WATER AT ME TOO?!”

“You were in the way.” Petir deadpanned before turning around to see Tanah and…

Cahaya stiffened when the eldest’s eyes landed on him.

And for some reason, just like his reunion with Tanah, said brother’s expression looked like he had just seen a ghost.

“...Cahaya.”

Angin whipped around, accidentally whipping them with droplets of water as well.

“Hey! Watch it!” Cahaya couldn't help but exclaim, his annoyance overlapping the nervousness he felt with the way they were looking at him.

Angin's eyes went wide as his jaw dropped, unable to believe what he was seeing, “It's really him…”

Cahaya frowned, feeling a little conscious now.

What? Did they not want him here? Is that why they're acting all shocked like he had the audacity to just show up after all these years?

“Guys! Should I still call the fire department?” Daun came out of the house while looking at the phone in his hand, only to bump against the back of Petir.

“Wha— Petir? Why are you—”

Cahaya felt his heart shoot up his throat when Daun followed the direction of where the eldest septuplet was looking.

And as soon as their eyes met, Cahaya was stiff as a board.

Right in front of him was the brother who wanted to give him a chance.

Who had stayed by his side through thick and thin.

Before finally leaving after a single mistake that Cahaya had come to regret.

Daun’s expression flickered to disbelief, like someone had just slapped him in the face. Mouth agape, eyes wide before tears slowly welling up that it made Cahaya look down, his heart pounding in regret and guilt as he remembered that same expression Daun made when he saw his ruined garden.

“Daun.” Petir’s voice— that sounded uncharacteristically tight as if he was in pain— cut through the sudden heavy silence, “Show Cahaya where he’ll be staying… while we try to clean up here.”

Cahaya unconsciously stepped back and grabbed Tanah’s hand just as Daun stepped forward to probably take his duffel bag on the ground.

Daun looked betrayed at the small action while Angin and Petir looked at Tanah like he had just achieved something impossible.

Tanah’s sudden sigh got Cahaya to loosen his hold, cautious at the strange reactions from his brothers. However, before he could even fully let go, Tanah’s grip just tightened around his, “I’ll take Cahaya to their room. I need to talk to him about something anyway.”

He sighed the relief he felt as he watched Tanah pick up his duffel bag for him instead.

He really didn’t want to talk to his other brothers.

Not when he still felt that bit of resentment and insecurity of what they must think of him— especially after finding out about Teacher Iris.

He couldn’t help but wonder if they were mocking him in their minds. Thinking he deserved everything after always taking Teacher Iris’ side and falling for her tricks.

“Earth to Cahaya, you there?” Cahaya felt a tender poke on his cheek and he looked up to see Tanah smiling worriedly at him.

He realized he had been led to his new room without him noticing and said brother had placed his duffel bag next to the bottom bunk of one of the two double decks.

The bed was neatly made which means that that must be his designated place.

“Everything okay in that brilliant mind of yours?”

Cahaya looked away, “Stop that.”

“Stop what?”

He sighed and looked out the window, wanting to avoid the other's inquisitive stare, “Calling me brilliant. I… I'm obviously not the genius I thought I was.”

Tanah’s face fell and he hastily took his hands in his, “Cahaya, that's not true.”

“Yes, it is!” He snapped, immediately pulling his hands away, “And I know you think so too! So does everyone else who found out about— about—”

“Cahaya, listen to me.” The other's firm tone cut off his stammering and he was suddenly being manhandled to sit on his bed.

He was surprised to see Tanah's stern expression— usually reserved for a certain troublemaker— directed at him.

Then he sat next to him, placing his hands on his lap instead of taking his like he usually does.

“I've always admired you since we were kids.” Tanah started, “You were able to memorize the whole multiplication table in a day, be able to define a difficult word without a dictionary, always be the first to submit exams and top all of them… you have always been amazing. Even until now.”

That's the thing. He only managed all that because of Teacher Iris.

Was he really even—

“Tea— Iris chose you because she saw potential.” Cahaya noticed his brother’s expression turning dark, “You were too bright, Cahaya, that it drew the wrong people in. And… and I'm sorry that we weren't there to notice that sooner.”

“It's not…” He was honestly getting tired of Tanah always apologizing. And also a little angry.

A part of him wanted to blame them— but he knew this wouldn't have ended this way if he hadn't been so blind.

Heck, he couldn't help but wonder why his brothers weren't angry at him for falling for Teacher Iris’ manipulations about them hating him and being jealous of him.

Where were the ‘I told you so’s?!

“You're more than what that woman made you to believe you are.” Tanah continued, “Please don't let her get to your head and—”

Cahaya snapped his head up, scowling, “Of course, I won't!”

What was his brother implying?!

“You don't have to keep reminding me that! I know I was an idiot for falling for her tricks!”

Oh, so this is how it was going to be? No ‘I told you so’s but definitely reminders of how he had been an idiot and how naive he was?!

“Cahaya! That's not what I meant—”

Oh, he knew exactly what he meant!

“You're just acting nice right now but I know what you're really thinking!” He stood up, crossing his arms defensively, “You and everyone else must be glad that I ended up like this! After everything I did, this must be all the karma finally getting back at me, huh?”

“No! No one would ever want any of this to happen!” Tanah looked very much offended, “Cahaya despite everything that happened in the past— we still love you as our brother—”

He snapped.

“Then where was that ‘love’ when you thought leaving me behind was the best decision you've ever made?!”

Tanah froze, eyes wide like he had just been slapped.

Cahaya knew right then and there that he had gone too far.

Tanah had repeatedly apologized to him for that incident. Always assuring him that he'll do his best to make it up to him and that he be given the chance to do so.

It should've ended there.

But Cahaya, for some reason, always finds himself looking back at that moment.

And as much as he wants to let that anger go… it grips him painfully like thorns digging through his skin. Keeping him from pulling that anger and resentment out or he'll bleed with raw vulnerability and he doesn't think he was ready for that.

He was so used to keeping it all in. To accept the fact that he was all alone.

To have no one to turn to when things would crash down on him during bad days.

And suddenly they're back trying to reconcile with no warning whatsoever?!

“...Cahaya…” Tanah’s hesitant tone snapped him out of his thoughts.

The concern in his brother's eyes overpowered the hurt that he had caused— and once again he was just overwhelmed with all these sudden changes.

So he did what he was always good at when things became too much.

He stood up, made a beeline for the door— ignored Petir and Angin who were obviously eavesdropping and were failing in pretending to just be passing by— and quickly ran downstairs out the house, pretending he didn't hear all the worried calls of his name.

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Angin was a ball of nervous energy as he kept looking at the unconscious Cahaya then back at his phone, scrolling through the panicked texts from Tanah.

On their way to the hospital, Cahaya had been fortunately somewhat conscious which kind of eased a bit of their worries as he repeatedly reassured them he was fine— despite looking like he was struggling to actually breathe.

Treatment was immediately given and he watched with unease as they pricked him with an IV and gave him oxygen through a nasal cannula— and seeing his brother look so unbothered all throughout the process made Angin uncomfortable.

Api was left to talk to the doctor, since he had been the last one with their brother before the episode had happened and had also been in the line with their parents to discuss any of the past medical history they were not aware of.

After the nurses finished their job of keeping his brother stable, Angin wasn’t even able to try and strike a conversation when Cahaya announced he was going to sleep.

Which didn’t even took a minute.

The episode must’ve drained him more than he thought.

Which led him to this current situation, keeping guard of the youngest he thought he’d never see in his lifetime again, while waiting for Tok Aba and Tanah to arrive.

His phone pinged, he looked down to see a text from Air.

Okay, scratch that, now he was waiting for Tok Aba, Tanah and Air to arrive. And judging by the typos— a very rare occurrence from his nonchalant of a brother— he was definitely rushing his way towards here.

He sighed and leaned back against the stiff, creaky chair.

Angin wasn’t sure about what he should feel now about his brother as he looked back at the youngest septuplet, practically camouflaging with the hospital’s sheets with how pale he was.

He remembered the past… the bickering- the fights. Whenever Cahaya was mentioned during those peaceful days without him, he’d imagine this evil-looking, snobbish boy who wanted nothing more but for things to go his way.

Disregarding the people he would hurt and step over.

But now… now that he got the chance to actually get a good look at the brother he had been trying to avoid since day one, he just can’t help but feel… pity.

This was the kid who made their lives miserable.

The person who continuously disappointed them to the point that they felt nothing but resentment whenever he was around.

…what made Tanah and Air change their mind in the end?

Hesitantly, Angin scooched closer to his brother’s bedside and bent forward trying to get a good look of him.

Their bond… it hadn’t always been that bad.

He vaguely remembered Cahaya always enjoying the sweets he used to bake. Heck, he was probably neck in neck when it comes to Air and his obsession with his baked desserts.

He couldn’t stop the small smile as he remembered that one particular time when they practically got into a heated argument as to who deserved the last cookie.

Of course, Air tried to be the bigger person and offered half the cookie, but Cahaya did not take the lack of win well and ended up walking away like the brat they dubbed him to be.

Angin blinked, one hand hovering over Cahaya’s head before he carefully pushed his bangs to the side, took out his handkerchief and gently wiped his sweaty forehead.

“Hey.” Api suddenly walked in, and Angin quickly retreated his hand and stuffed his handkerchief in his pocket.

But his brother didn’t seem to care as he shut the door behind him and looked down guiltily.

“Api? What’s wrong?” He felt his heart pound nervously, “What did the doctors say—”

“He’s gonna be fine.” Api said, sighing heavily before approaching them, “Angin… the reason he had another episode… it was because of me.”

Angin whipped his head to him, eyes wide, “Wha— what did you do?!”

“I—” Api scowled, quickly catching himself from sounding defensive at his accusing tone, “I didn’t mean to. He just… ugh! I was just asking him what he wanted for lunch, and he was having an attitude and I got annoyed and… and we just started bickering like how it was back then… and before I knew it…”

Api looked over at their sleeping brother before looking away, face twisted with guilt, “...the topic about how I was almost expelled because of him came up.”

“Oh Api…”

That had been one of their biggest fights in the past.

The straw that broke the camel’s back that got everyone to pack up and leave Cahaya and their home behind.

Api may have messed up with this one indeed.

“But… something about his reaction was weird.” Api continued, looking even more guilty, “I expected him to be all defensive like the brat he usually was— saying I deserved it… but he suddenly looked— horrified… and guilty? And before I knew it, he was having an episode! And I—”

They were interrupted by the door opening once more, making them both jump in surprise.

Tanah entered, looking frazzled as he immediately zeroed in on Cahaya.

“How is he?” He asked as he hastily made his way to their brother, placing a gentle hand over his forehead as soon as he was by his side.

“T-the doctors said he’ll be fine.” Angin reported, watching Tanah carefully sit by the small remaining space at the side of the bed while taking Cahaya’s hand and placing it on his lap.

He gave a firm squeeze when the youngest’s eyes fluttered open for a moment —looked at Tanah— before mumbling something incoherent and turning to his side to scooch closer to his brother.

That small, sweet act surprised Angin. He was aware that the two had gotten close since Tanah had immediately made amends the first few days Cahaya had barged back into their lives.

But… seeing how close their bond was now… to the point that the usually stubborn, self-absorbed brat was practically gluing himself to Tanah like he’s the medicine he needed…

Should he… should he also maybe let go of this childish grudge that did nothing but build resentment?

Angin’s gaze softened as he saw the wrinkle between Cahaya’s eyebrows vanished as Tanah ran a hand through his hair in a soothing manner.

No doubt, his brother had been a difficult child.

…but that’s the thing.

They were just children.

Cahaya had his faults, had his imperfections and had his bad days.

He made mistakes.

He made bad choices.

And yet, Angin felt more guilt than resentment.

Which was the main reason he had been avoiding him the day he arrived. And he could tell that maybe everyone else felt the same.

The anger they held on for Cahaya disappeared the day they saw how life had treated him.

And for them, holding on to that anger that wasn't there anymore— the anger that had been erased by time and maturity — was easier than admitting to what they truly felt.

And that was guilt.

Not to mention that day in the Planetarium…

There was a soft knock on the door and in came Air.

He looked as nonchalant as he usually was but the worry was obvious with how stiff he held himself as he entered.

“Atok’s talking to the doctor outside…” He reported, “How's Cahaya?”

“He seems fine now.” Tanah said, his soft gaze not leaving the youngest who had practically glued himself to Tanah as he slept.

Air let out a breath of relief and you could practically see all the tension released from his body.

He then turned to Api, gaze turning sharp and said teen stiffened at the glare.

“We need to talk.”

Without further prompting, Api followed him out, all gloomy and depressed.

Angin then turned his attention back to Tanah who continued soothing the sleeping Cahaya.

As soon as the door shut, Tanah's shoulders sagged.

“Cahaya was supposed to recover…” He sounded miserable, exhausted, “How could I have let this happen…?”

“It wasn't your fault, Tanah!” Angin quickly comforted, “It was just a little misunderstanding and… and Api didn't mean for this to happen. He even felt guilty about the whole thing!”

The other sighed, “And what if this happens again? What if one of you guys tries to bring up another trigger?”

“I— I would never—”

“Cahaya can't live in a household where the majority of us can't even learn to let go and forgive.”

That sentence was like a slap in the face and Angin stood up, feeling a little defensive, “Tanah, no one intended for this to happen! Api didn't mean to!”

“Are you still angry at Cahaya? Can you assure me that you've moved on from a past that's already done?”

“I… Tanah… that's not fair—”

“Angin.” The clipped tone of the other immediately got him to shut his mouth.

Tanah finally turned to look at him, face worn out and exhausted.

“Look at our brother right now and tell me what you think is fair.”

Angin’s gaze drifted to the teen curled up against Tanah—IV, oxygen, and wires to monitor his heart attached to Cahaya like he was some sort of machine.

Now that he was just wearing a hospital gown instead of his usual oversized sweaters and hoodies, Angin could see how thin his frame actually was and it made his guts twist in guilt and more pity.

“Mom called, and she thinks that maybe bringing Cahaya here had been a bad idea.”

Angin looked up at him, eyes wide as he felt his heart pound when he immediately realized where this was going.

“She's thinking of bringing him back home.” Tanah didn't even waver with his next words as he then declared;

“And I've decided… I'm going home with him.”

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Cahaya was lost.

He tried not to be obvious about it as he sat by one of the benches by the sidewalk.

It was bad enough that he left his phone in his duffel bag.

He groaned, rubbing a hand over his face at the circumstance he found himself into.

He should really head for the nearest police station or ask someone for directions, but he honestly was a little too prideful to admit needing help.

He can figure his way back home.

He just needed a moment to rest because he had been walking for half an hour now.

And it's not like he was looking forward to see any of his brothers at the moment —

“FOUND YA!” He yelped when he felt hands on his shoulders which he quickly slapped away.

He stood up and turned to see Angin grinning at him widely, “Baby bro, you are in so much trouble worrying everyone like that. You even left your phone!”

“Wha— how did you even find me?!” Cahaya demanded, “And don't call me ‘baby bro’! We're the same age!”

“Sure.” Angin rolled his eyes, “And also, it was purely coincidental. Everyone's split up around town looking for you. Speaking of— say ‘cheese’!”

Cahaya didn't even get to react when the other suddenly took out his phone and took his picture with a soft ‘click’.

“HEY—”

Angin merely ignored him as he started typing in his phone, “Found… him… will… head… home…soon—”

“I’m not going home!” Cahaya stomped his foot in defiance and Angin finally looked up.

“Living in the streets is not exactly an ideal lifestyle you'd want, Haya.”

“That's not what I—” His patience was running thin, making him groan in frustration before turning and walking away.

“Hey! Where are you going?!” He hears his brother quickly catching up behind him, “You can't keep running away you know!”

“I'm not running away, I'm trying to get away from you.” Angin then jogged in front of him, hands on his hips as he pouted.

“Yeah, no chance. Not when you obviously don't know your way around here.”

“I can figure it out!” Cahaya scowled, “I'm just— I don't wanna go home yet! Okay?!”

His brother paused, the pout disappearing as he blinked repeatedly like he just had a moment of realization.

“O… ohhhh. Is it because you feel guilty for yelling at Mama Tanah like that?” Angin nodded to himself and Cahaya’s face heated up in embarrassment.

“O-of course not! And ‘Mama Tanah’? The heck is up with that stupid nickname?!”

“Because he's got crazy intuition and can like— see the future!”

Cahaya stared at him like he was crazy.

“Like there was this one time I just sniffed— and he somehow knew I was gonna get sick the next day and had all these medications, thermometer and blanket ready for me!” Angin snickered, “See? Just like our Mom!”

“Whatever.” Cahaya tried to side step him, but of course the other blocked him before he could escape, “I swear to god— I know karate and I’m not afraid to use it!”

“Yeah, well I play soccer and if you try running away I can definitely catch you!”

“I’m not going home!”

“Then I’m keeping you company until you do!”

That effectively shut Cahaya up for a few stunned seconds before he eventually found his voice to protest, “I don’t want you following me around!”

“Well, tough! Either it's me, or I’m gonna have to call back up.” He raised his phone to show Petir’s scowling face—the contact photo of the brother whose number he was obviously threatening to call.

And once again he faltered.

This was, unfortunately, a losing battle, as he remembered how annoyingly insistent Angin could be once his mind was made up.

“Ugh! FINE!” He grumbled crossing his arms, only for his hands to be grabbed as Angin cheered and dragged him to the side, eyes shining with excitement.

“Okay, okay! So go ahead, tell me where you wanna go first!” His brother exclaimed, “You like sweets right? Maybe a cafe…? Or a bakeshop! Tell me where you wanna go! My treat!”

Cahaya, meanwhile, was too stunned by his unexpected response. He blinked as he blurted, “Are you okay?”

“Eh?”

“I—” Cahaya hesitated, confused and guarded, “I thought you’d be mad with how I yelled at Tanah like that.”

“Oh… well...” Angin’s energy seemed to have deflated a bit, sensing the seriousness of the other’s words, “I think that’s between you and Tanah—”

“I was talking about all of you guys.”

“—and I respect boundaries.”

Cahaya stared at him in disbelief before finally snapping, annoyed with his laidback attitude for some reason, “If you’re acting out of pity or something—”

“No!” And something changed on Angin's expression immediately, shoulders tense and face finally serious.

“Then why are you acting so weird when last I checked you guys hated my guts!”

Then his eyes became tired and sad, “Cahaya… we could never hate you.”

He was struck with deja vu, remembering Air saying almost the exact same thing.

“I'm sorry that we made you feel like that because of the stupid decision we made.” Angin continued as he gripped his hands, “And what happened to you…”

“I don't want to talk about it.” Cahaya quickly said, voice tight.

He wasn't ready to talk about it at all.

“Okay! And— and that's totally okay! We don't have to!” Angin quickly said, trying to lighten the mood, “I know! Let's just forget about everything right now— the yelling, the stressing— and just focus on having a good time instead!”

Cahaya narrowed his eyes at Angin, still trying to figure him out. His brother just smiled wider as he asked.

“So what do you say? Where do you want us to go?”

Again, there was no point dissuading someone like Angin.

So he sighed and mumbled, “Air did mention about a cafe here…”

“Oh?” His brother perked up, “Do you remember what it's called?”

“He didn't say the name… but he said it had the best chocolate moist cake.”

Angin's smile suddenly looked forced before looking away as he mumbled something like “Air—idiot—cafe doesn't exist yet— recipe stolen—”

Cahaya tentatively tried to pull his hands away, thinking of trying to escape again, but Angin's grip was firm.

“I think Air got confused.” And Angin was back, smiling cheerfully like he hadn't just been talking to himself like a psycho, “He must've meant the cafe back in the city!”

“But— he looked really sure…”

“I've got a better idea!” Angin finally let go of him to point at himself proudly, “I'll bake you the best chocolate moist cake instead!”

“Wait! I thought you said we weren't going home yet!” Cahaya scowled and Angin quickly held up his hands placatingly.

“Don't worry! We won't! We have to buy the ingredients first anyway! So~ to the baking supplies shop we go!” He then swung an arm over his shoulders and directed him to another direction, “And then we go to the groceries and pick out whatever drink you want to pair with the cake!”

Cahaya narrowed his eyes at his brother suspiciously, but let the other drag him.

He still difn't understand why he was being so nice to him, but so far no one had taken back their kindness and exposed it as some sort of cruel prank… so for now… Cahaya will just keep on observing.

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“Cahaya, did you get the flour yet?”

“W-wait!” Cahaya stood at his tiptoes and grabbed one of the flours he had been squinting at and hastily handed it to Angin who approached him with a basket full of baking materials.

“You were taking so long I already finished getting the—” Angin paused as he looked at the flour in his hand, “Baby bro, this isn't cake flour.”

“B-but it says flour!” Cahaya's face turned red, pouting a little defensively.

Angin shook his head in amusement, “There's a difference between cake flour and all-purpose flour.”

“Fine! I'll find your stupid cake flour!” Cahaya exclaimed and stomped back the flour section.

He looked back up at the high shelves, squinting at the labels on top of the flours which were unfortunately small and a bit hard to read.

A hand suddenly grabbed one of the flours at the far right and he turned ready to get all huffy and say he had it when he saw Angin frowning in thought.

“I think you need glasses.”

“What? No, I don't!”

“Then can you read the label of that shelf over there?”

Cahaya followed where he was pointing, it was the topmost shelf and the letters on the label were just an inch big, making him squint with a pout.

“Corn flour.”

“It's cornstarch, Haya.”

He felt his face heat up in embarrassment, “It’s too far! Of course I would've misread it!”

Angin shook his head, smiling in exasperation, “I can read it just fine though.”

“Are you mocking me or something?!” Once again, he found himself on high guard, expecting a round of ridicule for being the nerd—but Angin merely reached over and gave him a pat on the head.

“If we go and get you some glasses, we’ll have an excuse to stay out longer.” He said like he was trying to make a deal with a huffy toddler, which, unfortunately, worked as Cahaya finds himself considering it.

If it delays the confrontation he has to deal with when they get home… then…

“... I'll never hear the end of it from Api.” He eventually said, already imagining the round of teasings for being a real nerd with the glasses on and stuff.

Angin just smiled, acting all weirdly subdued for some reason.

Cahaya frowned at him in confusion.

“What?”

“Nothing.” He then perked up, picking up the basket of ingredients from the ground, “I'm just thinking how we're gonna brace our hearts to see you in a pair of glasses soon!”

Cahaya just stared at him like he was talking nonsense.

“You're being weird right now.”

“I just adore my baby bro~ that's all!”

Aaaand his annoying brother was back.

“We're the same age!”

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Angin took a deep breath as he stood in front of Cahaya's hospital room. In his arms he held a paper bag filled with oatmeal cookies and a tumbler of green veggie juice.

He had been working on the oatmeal cookies since last night… trying to clear his mind at the same time.

After that difficult conversation with Tanah, he couldn't stop himself from stress baking as soon as he got home.

That actually had been the perfect opportunity to make the desserts he had been banned from making since no one would be there to scold him.

But at that moment, as he looked down at his baking supplies, all he felt was guilt and that sense of wrongness.

Before he knew it, he was surrounded by different recipe books— looking for desserts that were safe and healthy for Cahaya to eat.

Throughout the night, he found himself experimenting on different batches to make sure it was still on the healthier side while also balancing the sweetness that he knew his brother would love.

And during that time he sat in front of that oven, waiting for the batch of oatmeal cookies he was sure he perfected, he finds himself actually reflecting on his relationship with Cahaya and replaying his conversation with Tanah in his head.

Wouldn't everything definitely be better if Cahaya just went back home?

He won't have to worry about being triggered by thoughtless words from brothers who still harbor their anger from the past.

But of course, it just didn't sit right with Angin.

It wasn't even because of the fact that Tanah was gonna leave and go with Cahaya.

“Look at our brother right now and tell me what you think is fair.”

It was the idea that Cahaya never got his chance to experience what they did.

To be loved and cared for by his own family.

He was brought to Pulau Rintis hoping they would be a factor to his recovery by just being there for him and making sure he'll be alright.

And yet, they're still letting the past define their current relationship as it is… causing another attack and ultimately failing their parents' expectations.

And Angin… Angin felt shame.

Nothing's stopping him from giving their relationship a chance… nothing but pride from a past that's already over.

And that's the thing.

Angin is anything but pride.

So… what else was stopping him?

“... you're here.”

Angin snapped out of his reverie to see Air by the door.

“Air… I uh— I made Cahaya some cookies and juice.” Angin then hastily assured before Air could open his mouth, “Don't worry! They're healthy! I made sure to research what's safe for him!”

His brother then paused, frowning in thought, before opening the door a little wider.

Angin sighed in relief, feeling like he had just passed a test of some sort before stepping in the room.

He sees Cahaya looking up from his book in confusion. Angin tried to hold back a laugh when he recognized Air's oversized hoodie practically drowning Cahaya's figure along with a thick brown blanket— that was definitely one of Tanah's— draped over his shoulder.

“You look like you're bundled up for winter.” He couldn't help but comment.

Cahaya quickly looked back down his book as he grumpily mumbled, “It's comfy…”

“Urk—I'm sorry! I didn't mean it in a bad way!” Angin exclaimed, wanting to smack himself for possibly making things worse, “I mean— I — I GOT YOU COOKIES!”

Now that got Cahaya to look up in interest.

“Cookies?” Then he froze before deflating a bit, “I'm not allowed sweets…”

“Don't worry!” He hastily pulled the small chair beside Cahaya and placed the paper bag on the side of his bed, “I really studied the ingredients that'll be okay for people with heart problems, so I specifically made these cookies for you!”

He took out the oatmeal cookies wrapped in clear plastic and the tumbler of green juice.

“Oatmeal cookies?” Cahaya was quick to identify them while Angin tried to open the wrapping.

“No sugar! And it's whole grain!” He giddily offered it to his brother who hesitantly reached for one.

“Don't be shy~ try it!”

The youngest shot him a suspicious look but eventually did take a bite out of the cookie.

“It's… it's sweet.” He watched those eyes sparkle in surprise and it made Angin smile even wider.

Unbeknownst to the two, Air quietly leaves the room.

“I had applesauce to like lower the cholesterol and fat and also made sure I had whole oats in there. Added some raisins too instead of chocolate chips.” He said a little too eagerly, watching as Cahaya munch on the pastry while eyeing it like it was an interesting specimen.

“I know it’s not as sweet compared to the other cookies I made but—”

“It’s perfect.” Cahaya cuts in calmly, “I haven’t had any desserts in a while… so honestly… it’s the best cookie I’ve ever had.”

Warmth gripped Angin’s heart at the other’s sincere tone and before he knew it, his own eyes grew blurry as guilt and gratefulness crashed into him like a tsunami.

He had been so stressed with how he felt for Cahaya… whether the anger from their past had always been justified or his sudden change of heart was just out of pity and that he had lost his ability to just purely love his brother due to the years of absence.

“Cahayaa…” He suddenly wailed, jolting said brother in shock and surprise, “I'm sorry for e-everything! I h-hate that this happened to y-you and I've b-been so g-guilty—”

“Ahk! Calm down!” Cahaya exclaimed, face turning red in embarrassment when he was unexpectedly pulled into a hug, “Angin! Stop!”

“I can't!” Angin bawled, clinging to his youngest even harder— “I've b-been so stupid! We were k-kids and I-I should've learned to move o-on! But I kept holding on to this stupid a-anger that wasn't even a big deal and n-now mom wants to take y-you home be-because we've been j-jerks and—”

“Angin, stop.” Cahaya stopped struggling before letting out a sigh.

This reaction immediately got Angin to back off, “Ahk! I'm sorry! Are you okay? Does your chest hurt again—”

“I'm fine!” Cahaya snapped, before stopping himself and taking a deep breath.

He then repeated himself in a calmer manner, “I'm fine, Angin. And also, about that… I talked to mom and I told her I don’t want to go home.”

Angin’s eyes widened in shock.

“W…wait what? I-I thought—”

Cahaya shoved the remaining cookie to his mouth to silence him, “MMPH?!”

“Let me talk.” He said with an eye roll, “I actually do owe you guys an apology for being difficult when we were kids. That fact is never going to change.”

He quickly gulped the cookie down, “But—”

“Don’t make me shove another cookie in your mouth.” His brother said threateningly, leaving Angin to sulk in silence, “Listen… I realized how stubborn I’ve been since I got here and how immature that was of me. Just because I had this sudden heart problem doesn’t mean I had the right to make everyone else miserable too. So… I want to apologize.”

Cahaya absentmindedly kneaded the blanket draped over his shoulder between his fingertips, “I wasn’t the only one who was hurting… so were you guys and— justifiably so. And that talk with Api… it kind of made me realized how much I really messed up.”

“Cahaya…”

“This wasn’t Api’s fault… this was all mine. This and all the bad things that happened to me… it had been the consequences of my own actions.” Cahaya looked up at Angin, “So whatever guilt you’re feeling right now… let it go.”

Angin felt more tears welling up in his eyes, and some may have escaped— but he honestly couldn’t care less as he took his brother’s hands, squeezed them as firm as he could without hurting the other, hoping his warmth could spread over his cold fingers.

“We messed up too.” Angin let out a shaky exhale, “We messed up the opportunity to talk to you properly. We isolated you… made you believe you were on your own and I’m… I’m really sorry… Cahaya. We should’ve been there with you when you needed us the most.”

His brother shook his head, “No point going back to the past is what Tanah always says. From now on, we just look forward to the future… and do better. Which is exactly why I have to stay… and redeem myself.”

Angin wanted to voice out that he had nothing to redeem, but instead— he finds himself sobbing harder as he pulled Cahaya into another hug, hoping he could feel the sincerity he wished to convey with his tight hold.

To his delight and relief, his brother must’ve understood, as he finally returned the embrace with the same warm grip.

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Cahaya blinked rapidly as he stepped out of the doctor’s clinic with his new glasses. He needed a little bit of adjusting but things were definitely a little clearer now that he could practically read the small letters by the entrance of the clinic.

Angin, who had been busy on his phone, looked up with a wide smile only to freeze like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

Cahaya suddenly felt conscious, “What? You’re gonna make fun of me for being a ‘literal’ nerd?”

“Ah… no—” Angin’s voice broke for a moment and he immediately cleared his throat, “N-no, of course not! I just think it really suits you!”

Cahaya pouted, narrowing his eyes suspiciously, “One nerd joke and I swear—”

“Never!” Angin held up a hand to his chest in mock offence, “You must be confusing me with Api!”

“Yeah… well, you guys always think alike.” He mumbled mostly to himself.

He then watched as Angin gathered their groceries in one hand and held up his other hand to Cahaya, “Come on, it’s almost dinner. We have to go home.”

He hesitated, immediately remembering the fact that he had to face Tanah eventually and of course, apologize.

But…

…what if Tanah doesn’t forgive him? What if he finally ran out of patience and decided Cahaya was too much to deal with?

“Cahaya…?” Angin softly spoke up, as if sensing the turmoil he was trying to push down, “You good?”

“I… I really messed things up with Tanah… didn’t I?” He asked in a small tone, part of him not wanting Angin to really hear what he said.

Angin shook his head with an exasperated smile. He put the groceries down and pulled Cahaya into a hug, much to the latter’s confusion.

“Alright, breathe with me, baby bro.”

“I’m not—”

“I know. But for once, I just want you to relax and stop worrying so much.” Angin said rubbing his back soothingly, “So, inhaaaaale~ exhaaaaaale~”

Cahaya begrudgingly followed, realizing the other won’t let go if he didn’t do the silly breathing exercise.

Once they were done, Angin pulled away and smiled gently, “What’s already happened— happened. There’s nothing we can do but accept that fact and move on.”

“Does that mean… Tanah will hate me now?”

“Pfft— it’ll be the end of the world before that happens. Trust me.” Angin snickered, “And there’s no point delaying the inevitable when we're gonna have to go home one way or another!”

“But Tanah—”

“Tanah is waiting patiently for you and is honestly just worried if you're alright.” Angin said soothingly, “Emotions were high at that time and you've been through a lot, Cahaya. Everyone understands.”

He looked back at Angin who smiled gently and reassuringly.

Even without words, his brother seemed to sense the comfort he needed, “Whatever guilt you're feeling right now… let it go. You're good, ‘mkay?”

He looked down as the other held out a hand for him to take.

With a wobbly lip, he took the offered hand and nodded his head.

Angin's smile softened.

“Let's go home, Cahaya.”

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As soon as they got home, no one was mad at all— just as Angin had promised.

They were met with Petir and Tanah gathered by the dining table with the platters of food all ready.

Tanah was immediately up on his seat as soon as they stepped into the household.

“Tanah… I didn't mean to…oomf!” Cahaya was pulled into a hug before he could even say anything and his brother just chuckled, sounding choked up for some reason.

“I know. And it's okay.” Tanah immediately said, “I'm just glad you're back home.”

He couldn't believe it.

Was it really just that simple…?

He felt the other pull away and he could only look at him in awe and disbelief as once again, he was proven that his brothers… they've changed.

“You got new glasses?” Tanah's eyes softened as he brushed his bangs gently to the side, “It suits you.”

“Yeah. Baby bro had been having trouble reading while we were out buying stuff.” Angin chimed in as he walked to the kitchen with the grocery bags, “Guess he had been having eye problems for awhile now huh.”

“Stop calling me that!” Cahaya exclaimed, not really noticing the guilty expressions exchanged between the brothers.

Petir then cleared his throat, “Tok Aba is running a little late and will be coming home with Daun soon. He said we could start eating dinner without them.”

“You guys go ahead, I'll just wait for them! I need to bake something for our youngest, anyway!” Angin yelled from the kitchen.

“Stop calling me that too!” Cahaya exclaimed while Tanah merely chuckled and steered him to the dining table where Petir hastily stood up and started serving them rice.

Cahaya stiffened when he was placed next to the eldest septuplet and said brother just looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

He quickly looked down, feeling a little intimidated, when the other placed a chicken leg on his plate and spoke up grumpily,

“You better eat up, you're already skinny as it is!”

Cahaya then whipped his head up to glare at him, “Am not! I've been eating just fine!”

Before Petir could retort, Angin popped back in the dining room, mixing bowl in hand as he laughed.

“Don't take it the wrong way, Haya. Pet-pet’s just saying that because he cares about you!”

“Don't call me that!” Both Cahaya and Petir yelled at the same time, making Angin laugh harder.

“Look at these two getting along so well! Right, Tanah?”

Tanah snickered, immediately looking away when Cahaya shot him a betrayed look.

“Now, now, let's just settle down and start eating!”

“Tch.”

“... thanks for the food.”

And just like that, dinner was filled with laughter and Angin's exaggerated story telling of Cahaya mistaking all-purpose flour from cake flour.

And for the first time in a long time, Cahaya actually felt… content.

Something he did not expect when he would come to Pulau Rintis.

For the first time, he finds himself forgetting the trauma he was forced to remember during moments of silence as he let the familiar noise of his family drown out those horrid memories.

It was strange… seeing his brothers so different from how he had imagined their reunion would be.

It was like his brothers were replaced by grown ups with how patient and understanding they were with him.

Which was impossible.

Aside from the weird matching caps they wore, he was pretty sure it was still them.

So all Cahaya could wonder now was…

…what changed?

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“Oh Cahaya, tomorrow Petir and I will be taking you to school for your enrollment, okay?”

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End of Chapter

FINALLY THIS HAS GONE LONG ENOUGH—

…anyways… see ya next time!