Chapter Text
Cheng Xiaoshi grinned as he moved his rook. He leaned back, resting his hands behind his head cockily.
“Check.”
Lu Guang spared him a single glance before moving his king out of Cheng Xiaoshi’s path. Cheng Xiaoshi followed, still smirking. He clearly thought he had Lu Guang cornered.
They continued the game, and Lu Guang watched in satisfaction as Cheng Xiaoshi’s smile slowly fell back into a look of frustrated concentration.
Their heads drifted closer together as they played.
By the time Lu Guang trapped Cheng Xiaoshi’s king with a pawn from behind, their foreheads were almost touching.
Lu Guang didn’t say anything as Cheng Xiaoshi tipped his head up to meet Lu Guang’s eyes.
He opened his mouth, but visibly lost his train of thought as he looked at his roommate.
“Um. Guess you–” Cheng Xiaoshi’s whisper trailed off as his eyes drifted downwards.
It took Lu Guang a moment to realize where he was looking.
His lips.
Lu Guang swallowed, but he didn’t pull away.
Was Cheng Xiaoshi going to kiss him?
Lu Guang’s heart was pounding. He could feel the tension.
He should move. He needed to pull back, to end this here and now. Shut this down right now.
But for some reason, Lu Guang didn’t. Instead, he leaned almost imperceptibly closer. He found himself picturing it. Cheng Xiaoshi’s lips were very chapped. Would they be rough against Lu Guang’s? Would he be rough, unable to hold back? Or would he be soft, gentle, careful for once in his life?
Lu Guang’s stomach did a flip. He had almost decided to lean in, to press his lips against Cheng Xiaoshi’s, to indulge his best friend just this once, when Cheng Xiaoshi jerked back as if he’d been electrocuted.
“Uh,” Cheng Xiaoshi said, shaking his head a little to reorient himself, “Let me. Um. I’ll clean it up, just-”
“Cheng Xiaoshi,” Lu Guang interrupted. “I can do it. You go start supper.”
Lu Guang knew that they both needed a minute alone. Cheng Xiaoshi seemed grateful for the excuse and he left with nothing more than an awkward nod.
Lu Guang cleaned up the chess board, trying to ignore the images that had been put into his head and the way they made his face heat up.
What was happening to him?
🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍
Lu Guang knew. He’d known for a while now, and suspected for even longer.
Even before the almost-kiss, Lu Guang had known that Cheng Xiaoshi’s feelings for him were not entirely platonic.
Cheng Xiaoshi thought he was being subtle. He wasn’t.
Lu Guang didn’t mind. So long as Cheng Xiaoshi didn’t start acting weird around him (a hard thing to measure with Cheng Xiaoshi, because he was incapable of being normal), it wasn’t going to change anything.
Lu Guang had already decided not to bring it up to avoid the risk of Cheng Xiaoshi being weird about him knowing.
It wasn’t his business. He would put it out of his mind, pretend he didn’t know, to respect Cheng Xiaoshi’s privacy and Lu Guang’s own peace.
Lu Guang was just going to ignore it.
Ignore it.
Just…
No one had ever had a crush on Lu Guang before. Not to his knowledge anyway. Quite frankly, he never cared enough about anybody’s love life to ask. That kind of stuff seemed off-limits. Private. Personal.
Plus, they would’ve inevitably asked to know his crush, and that was personal for him. And hard to explain. He knew first hand that not everyone was as nice about it as Cheng Xiaoshi and Qiao Ling.
This was completely new territory. And as much he tried to ignore it, he simply couldn’t.
It’d sneak back in, the way Cheng Xiaoshi’s smile would twitch up almost imperceptively when he looked at Lu Guang, or the way he’d lean subtly towards Lu Guang while they stood next to each other. Even when Cheng Xiaoshi wasn’t around, Lu Guang would catch himself thinking of the way Cheng Xiaoshi would blush when he was caught staring or how his voice would curl affectionately around Lu Guang’s name.
It was becoming a problem. So much so that he thought about telling Cheng Xiaoshi that he knew. Maybe then, he’d feel less anxious about it. He’d stop feeling like he was hiding this huge piece of information. Everything would be out in the open. Because clearly Lu Guang couldn’t handle keeping a massive secret about Cheng Xiaoshi from Cheng Xiaoshi himself.
That’s all this was. Guilt, as if he’d dug through Cheng Xiaoshi’s diary and stolen this information himself. Anxiety, because surely when Cheng Xiaoshi found out that he knew, he’d be pissed. And rightfully so.
That’s all it was. The sweaty palms, racing heart, and stomach in his throat were all signs that Lu Guang knew he should tell Cheng Xiaoshi that he knew.
Lu Guang knew he wouldn’t tell Cheng Xiaoshi. He’d rather take this secret to the grave than watch as Cheng Xiaoshi started tiptoeing around him, treating him like a kitten that would scare at the slightest sign of affection. He wasn’t. He wouldn’t.
Because truthfully, as terrible as he knew it sounded, Lu Guang liked it.
He liked the feeling of blood rushing to his face when he realized Cheng Xiaoshi was staring. He liked the way every nerve seemed to stand on end when Cheng Xiaoshi stood just barely too close. He liked the way his heart jumped to his throat when they were talking for too long and Cheng Xiaoshi’s eyes started drifting downward. He liked the way his heart grew light when Cheng Xiaoshi smiled at him.
Lu Guang liked being liked. Or, maybe that wasn’t entirely accurate. The idea of someone else liking him made his stomach churn and his anxiety spike.
Ok.
So Lu Guang liked being liked by Cheng Xiaoshi.
Ok.
Well, fuck.
🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍
The smell of something delicious woke Lu Guang up.
Or maybe it was his body’s internal clock, because when he checked the time, he saw that it was almost an hour past when his alarm should have gone off.
He panicked for a moment before remembering that today was Sunday, so it didn’t matter if they overslept. Still, Lu Guang hated getting such a late start to his day. It made him feel like he was behind right off the bat.
He stepped down the ladder, careful not to shake the bed enough to wake Cheng Xiaoshi, who had no qualms about sleeping in. In fact, he grumbled about Lu Guang’s weekend alarm any chance he got.
He also had no problem falling straight back into deep, snore-filled sleep, so Lu Guang didn’t pity him.
But today, when Lu Guang set his feet upon the ground, he found Cheng Xiaoshi’s bed empty.
He caught another whiff of whatever smell was coming from the kitchen.
Lu Guang didn’t bother changing out of his pajamas before he padded down the stairs to find Cheng Xiaoshi.
His roommate was at the stovetop stirring something in a saucepan.
“What’s the occasion?” Lu Guang asked, voice rough from sleep.
Cheng Xiaoshi turned around, grinning. “You’re up! I woke up early, so I decided to cook us congee!”
Lu Guang hummed. “My alarm wasn’t working this morning.” He realized then that it would have made sense to check the issue before coming downstairs.
“Oh, yeah.” Cheng Xiaoshi shrugged. “I shut it off. Figured I’d let you sleep and surprise you.”
Lu Guang let out a sharp breath. “Don’t do that again,” he said.
“Oh, come on, loosen up, Lu Guang. It wasn’t even an hour.” Cheng Xiaoshi had set the spoon down and turned to Lu Guang.
An hour he could have spent doing something more productive than sleeping. But he let it drop. The morning was too peaceful for a real fight.
Instead, Lu Guang tipped his head toward the pot on the stove. “How long until it’s done?”
“About twenty minutes? Maybe less.”
One thing about Cheng Xiaoshi that had stressed Lu Guang out when they first met was that he rarely planned ahead. That included when it came to cooking. Lu Guang wasn’t sure he’d ever seen Cheng Xiaoshi use a recipe.
When he didn’t forget about the food and burn the hell out of it, it worked out for him. He had a knack for cooking, which was a good thing, because Lu Guang hated it. He could never get dishes to come out right and couldn’t bear to try to learn. Cheng Xiaoshi had tried, but gave up when he saw how quickly Lu Guang got frustrated.
Even when he had lived alone, Lu Guang never bothered to cook. He’d decided that he would much rather live off take-out.
Lu Guang snatched a spoon from the drawer and stepped around Cheng Xiaoshi to stick it in the pan. Cheng Xiaoshi shouted a protest and swatted at Lu Guang’s hand, but Lu Guang grabbed his wrist with his free hand before he could. He scooped up a spoonful of the congee and looked up at Cheng Xiaoshi. He was sure the triumph was evident on his face.
When had their heads gotten so close?
Cheng Xiaoshi isn’t looking away, and Lu Guang doesn’t particularly want to either. Cheng Xiaoshi is blushing under Lu Guang’s gaze, but he holds it. And Lu Guang can’t help the way his heart does a little flip at that look.
Cheng Xiaoshi recovers first, pulling his hand out of Lu Guang’s now lax grip to take the spoon from him.
But Lu Guang steps back before he can, smirking as he pushes the spoon past his lips.
“It’s not done yet,” Cheng Xiaoshi says flatly.
Lu Guang hummed. “It's a little crunchy.”
“You eat the food before it’s ready, then complain that it’s not done!” Cheng Xiaoshi protested. “Why do I even do things for you?”
“I’m not complaining,” Lu Guang said calmly. “Just… critiquing.”
While he internally reveled at Cheng Xiaoshi’s grumbling, he decided to stop teasing him until the breakfast was done.
“Well?” Cheng Xiaoshi asked Lu Guang about a half hour later, when the congee was prepared and served.
“Well what?”
“How is it?” Sometimes, Cheng Xiaoshi reminded Lu Guang of an overeager puppy.
Lu Guang gave Cheng Xiaoshi a small, almost invisible smile. “It’s good, as always,” he reassured.
Lu Guang couldn’t tear his eyes away from the pleased grin that spread across Cheng Xiaoshi's face.
🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍
It was a gradual shift. Lu Guang couldn’t pin down the exact moment he realized Cheng Xiaoshi did not feel entirely platonic towards him. Lu Guang definitely did not know the moment he himself had started having romantic feelings.
Everything between them evolved slowly, naturally.
Cheng Xiaoshi was not always the easiest to be around, and Lu Guang knew he was not any better. Despite their differences, teasing, and fighting, Lu Guang never felt uncertain in their relationship.
Because no matter what, he knew Cheng Xiaoshi would have Lu Guang’s back the same way Lu Guang had Cheng Xiaoshi’s.
Trust.
So Lu Guang hadn’t exactly been surprised when he started to notice Cheng Xiaoshi’s eyes lingering for a second too long, or his breath catching when Lu Guang leaned a little too close.
Lu Guang was much more surprised to realize just how much he liked it.
And, slowly, he started to warm up to the idea of shifting their relationship.
He wouldn’t mind kissing Cheng Xiaoshi. The thought made his heart race anxiety and something else.
Something close to anticipation.
When he pictured it, letting Cheng Xiaoshi kiss him, or allowing himself to stare shamelessly, or taking Cheng Xiaoshi’s stupid flirtations seriously, his heart grew light.
He almost had to bite back a smile at the thought.
The longer he thought about it, the more Lu Guang realized with absolute certainty that he wanted Cheng Xiaoshi. Not just as best friends, or business partners, or roommates, although he loved all of those things.
Lu Guang wanted Cheng Xiaoshi romantically.