Chapter Text
Even for his taking the first watch, Hikari was up just before dawn, well before the other travelers, save Ochette, who had taken over for him.
“Morning, Hikarin!” she said brightly, stirring the last of the campfire's embers. There was no point stoking it further. They'd be on the road before long.
At her feet, Akala looked up at him with amber eyes, always watching. Did the Lajackal know what was living in his skin alongside his own heart? If he did, he seemed to speak no human words with which to express that, but in the same vein, had never so much as bared his teeth at Hikari. Perhaps watching was enough.
“Good morning, Ochette. If you like, I'll take over until everyone else is awaken so you can sleep a little before we start off for the Winterlands.”
She stretched her thin arms, arms filled with more strength than any person could see just by looking at her. “Yeah, I think I'll do that.”
They switched places, Ochette and Akala returning to her cold bedroll, curling up tightly against the morning chill. Here at the edge of the Brightlands, the wind coming from the northern mountains still was tinged with that wintry cold. If they made good time, they could be in Cape Cold by nightfall, and then it was another few days through treacherous, icy roads to Winterbloom.
He didn't have business there, but Partitio, Castti and Throne all did, so they would head there before turning back to the New Delsta anchorage. But Hikari could only wonder if his own business on this continent was really so complete. He'd been to Montwise. The ache in his leg reminded him of that, of being knocked into the ring by Kazan, the fall onto unforgiving and blood splattered stone leaving him with a broken leg. Thankfully between Castti and Temenos, it had healed quickly, but he'd heard no end of fussing about fighting in that condition. But what choice had he had?
Even now, weeks removed, it ached. It might ache for the rest of his life, but he had long known that. Some wounds never truly healed, some scars never faded, turning skin and muscle hard. And he had plenty of both. At one time, he might have been proud to bear the marks of a warrior. All of those he traveled with had their own wounds on their skin, whip marks and silvery stripes from starvation, bruising and scratches. But now, they were simply a part of him, nothing to be proud of, nothing to be disgusted by. Simply his in all their dreaded neutrality. A reminder of what he'd been through, a reminder of the path that still lay ahead of him.
Hikari let the embers of the fire die off, still stirring the ash with the stick to make sure they were cold, and slowly, the morning sun painted the sky yellow and blue, the morning birds beginning to sing, and his fellow travelers to rise.
To his surprise, Eruka was first, crawling out of the bed roll he had lent to her and stooping by the ashes of the fire, rubbing her hands to try and warm them, even though their was no flame left.
”My apologies.“
”It's okay.“ She breathed on them instead.
“You're awake rather early.”
“I'm used to rising early for training with my father.”
He nodded. Although he had never trained with his own father, he had plenty of early morning training sessions with various tutors and vassals. And even beyond the palace, a warrior's day often started early and ended late.
”He is a diligent tutor then?”
She laughed a little, but the look on her face wasn't one of humor. There was a wash of sadness, almost a distant remembrance. He'd said the wrong thing.
“You could say that,” she said, pulling her braids loose and combing through her hair with her fingers. “He had been in the army, and I think the things that happened to him there stuck with him his whole life.”
“Yes. It's meant to teach you lifelong discipline.” Although discipline was not what all soldiers took from their time in the army. He knew plenty who took the skills that they had learned, glory that they had earned in battle, and let it corrupt them, and turned that discipline against the common folk. It wasn't what a warrior was meant for.
“I don't think the army taught him anything new there.“
Although her words felt harsh, there was a warmth to her tone, a calm understanding. Eruka was only sixteen years old, and yet in her small frame, she carried much wisdom and strength. Even if it still hid behind a youthful vibrancy. No. Perhaps not hid behind. That part of her, in the short time he had known her, felt genuine. Perhaps it carried her instead. A teenager with wisdom beyond her years, but still youthful. A child who had gotten to be a child, at least to a point.
And in that moment, Hikari felt himself shrink a little. Such a thing could never have been afforded to a prince. Surely, even Mugen had been tempered and honed from his earliest days, especially with his position as the son of the queen, the crown prince, the future general who would march Ku into a glorious golden age.
Their discussion dropped off altogether when Partitio joined them at the fire pit, stretching so hard that something in him cracked, although he looked relieved for the feeling.
”Mornin'!“ he said.
In short order, their camp came to life, each of his companions slowly rising, one after another, to join them, and in the warm swell of their companionship, his momentary pain was forgotten, buried deep once more where it couldn't hurt him.
Rather than cook a breakfast, they had a quick meal of dry rations, items foraged from the woods on their way, berries and apples, nuts and herbs, along with a healthy chunk of jerky for each of them, as Ochette always seemed to have a steady supply. It would hold them to Cape Cold at least. He'd marched on much less.
The road toward the Winterlands was long and winding, the road carving through the hills and up toward the craggy mountains. They trudged along slowly, Hikari pulling up the rear while Temenos and Osvald at the front set a steady pace for everyone else.
It was just after noon when they stopped once more for a breather, the air here in the interim space between the end of the Brightlands and the start of the Winterlands chilly. In the distance, the start of the snowfields painting the horizon white and grey. There was enough time for a short break.
“It's best that we go ahead and get our cloaks on. Too much further and we run the risk of frostbite if not properly equipped,” Castti said, unfurling from her pack the long, fur lined cloak that she had purchased the last time they were in headed to the Winterlands.
Everyone else began to do the same, but Hikari was keenly aware that for one of their group, that simply wasn't going to be an option.
Although Eruka did not complain of the cold, he could see in the way that she huddled into herself, tucking her hands under her folded arms to keep her fingers warm, that she wasn't prepared for the sort of weather that existed beyond Ku. The nights there were cold, but without the constant wetness that the Winterlands had.
Just as he was pulling his own cloak from the depths of his pack, a hand touched down on his shoulder. Without even turning to look, he knew the weight and grip, the warmth of Partitio's touch. Perhaps he knew it too well for someone who was merely a traveling companion. Perhaps he thought too much about those things.
“I got this one,” Partitio said with a wink. “Can't rightly let the kid freeze, right?”
“Right.”
“'Sides. Don't want ya gettin' too cold either, though.”
”What about you?”
“I already got a coat!” He slid his arms into the sleeves of his yellow jacket, pulling it tight around himself.
And as easily as that, Partitio pulled away, extending the cloak to Eruka as he walked closer to her.
From this distance, Hikari could only see her fuss a little, a tiny act of rebellion as she tried to insist that she was fine. But Partitio wasn't buying it, and in an instant, he had the cloak pulled up over her head.
She grumbled. He laughed, and patted her on the back.
“Come help us gather some stones,” he said.
“Stones? What for?”
He bend and picked up a flat rock, about as big as his own hand, and with fingers glowing through the fabric of his gloves, started to pour the warmth of his fire magic into the rock. Once it was gently steaming, he passed it to Ochette, who took it gratefully, tucking it away in between her layers of clothing. She made a contented noise, a happy little sigh.
“See?” Partitio said. “Gotta be careful when heatin' them to not make them too hot, or they might explode or burn someone.”
She just watched in stunned silence as he repeated the process, handing another stone to Agnea, which was pocketed.
“I used ta do this all the time back in Oresrush to keep Pops's bed warm in the cold months,“ he smiled. But Hikari knew that there was pain behind that smile, the pain of hard times when they likely couldn't even afford wood for the fireplace. Still Partitio smiled. His pain hadn't hardened him.
In her pale and trembling hands, Eruka received the next rock, pulling it deep into her cloak.
“I hadn't considered magic useful for something like this.”
“Not everything has to be grand spells,“ Partitio said. ”Just a little trick to help keep the chill off is enough.“
Osvald also got to work warming rocks, one in each hand, passing them around. The warm weight in Hikari's hands was welcome, driving off the cold that tinged his extremities. Osvald and Partitio then took a few moments to fill their own pockets with a couple of rocks, and they were ready to set off again.
”Ya just tell me if ya need another one,“ Partitio said to Eruka. “Ain't a perfect solution, but it'll get us to Cape Cold.”
With little else to hold them back, they started back on the path, the trail turning from hard dirt to sloshing mud, and finally disappearing into the snow. There were complaints about the cold abound, but that wasn't uncommon as they marched on. Toto'Haha never saw snow, and places as warm and right on the coast as New Delsta rarely. Hinoeuma might have seen one snow in as many years as Hikari had been alive. And although he watched her turn the stone over and over again in her hands, wipe her nose on the cuff of her bracers, stamp her feet, Eruka made no complaints.
Without any prompting, he fetched another stone from Partitio and traded with her, relishing her red cheeked smile that disappeared as she tucked her chin into the folds of the cloak.
“Not too much further,” he assured her, although she didn't ask. “Are you holding up alright?”
“I'm fine.” And yet there was a sniffle clear in her voice. He didn't acknowledge it.
Up one hill after another, their softness making way for the harsh, jagged ridges of mountains, they continued, until they reached a cross roads, an old wooden sign with the name of Cape Cold carved into it pointing the way a little further north. The lights of the town painted the snow capped hills yellow and gold, and soft plumes of grey smoke rose in the air. Even from here, he could smell the burning of wood. The smell of burning—
“Ya alright there?” Partitio asked, clapping a hand down on his shoulder.
“Yes.” It was the only truth he could speak. “How are you faring? Is your coat enough?”
“Oh yeah, I'm great.“ Partitio's warm and beaming smile could have melted all the snow in the Winterlands. Hikari certainly felt that warmth against the walls of his own heart, like the sun on stone.
“Isn’t this were we found you, Osvald?” Temenos said from the front of their loose band of marchers. He had stopped below a heavy pine tree, still brilliant green for the layers of snow that covered it.
Osvald just grunted, and pushed past him. The cold couldn't have been easy on him either.
“What is he talking about?” Eruka asked, sliding in between the two of them.
“Oh, when we first came up with way this is 'bout where we met Mr. Osvald.”
“Beneath a tree?”
“Well, he had collapsed in the snow,” Hikari said. “Traveling out this way isn't easy as you can see, and he didn't have much in the way of supplies.
”Oh. I guess that makes sense,“ she said, peering over at the spot beneath the tree as they passed, as if she could still see the indention of his body beneath what was now months of snow.
”Meet all sorts a folks on the road,“ Partitio said with a smile, tipping the snow off his hat.
”How did you two meet?“ Eruka asked.
”Huh?“
”The two of you,“ she said, looking from one of them to the other. “It's got to be an interesting story, right?”
“Well, I suppose ya could say that-”
“So tell me!“ Her voice was thick with mirth, eyes sparkling mischievously.
”I'm afraid the story really isn't all that astounding,” Hikari said, hoping to temper her expectations.
Partitio laughed. ”I guess maybe for you it wasn't!“
”What do you mean?“ He asked, looking up. Eruka's eyes followed his.
”It was at that little bazaar at the Northern Ryu Sands. I was just coming out of the Wildlands, only a couple of days from Oresrush,“ Partitio started, clearly intent on making a story of this. ”Now, I'd dealt with my fair share a bandits on the road to that point, so I was ready for a place to lay my head that wasn't a rock.“
Eruka listened with fixed attention.
”There is a rest tent there. Small but serviceable,” Hikari added.
”That's right! And I'm always lookin' for some business, so a little trading post like that is a good starting place. So I roll into town like a tumbleweed, and do you know what the very first thing I see is?”
“What?” She asked.
“There's Hikari, sword drawn,” Partitio made the motion of holding a blade with his hands. “Standin' up against three soldiers. And there is he, tryin' to get them to go on their merry way and stop harrassin' the good folks there.”
“Uh huh.”
“And before I can butt in and give him a hand, he's got them all trounced like they were greenhorns! Three grown, fully armored Ku soldiers!”
Her brow raised excitedly, mouth dropping open as the spinning of Partitio's tale.
”And the first thing I say to myself is, there's a fella who knows his craft. A fortuitous ally using his strength for good. There's a fella I'd like to get to know better!”
Hikari tried to ignore the way Partitio's eyes lingered on him for a moment as he spoke, the way his smile seemed to soften, but not fade. It was just the play of his own addled imagination again. There was nothing else it could be.
“Is that what really happened?” she turned to Hikari now, eyes bright.
“In so many words, I suppose.”
Hikari barely remembered the fight. Three soldiers who were doing what Mugen's forces loved to do: terrorize citizens. Ryu wasn't the first place they had done it, and it would be the last. Hikari still smelled of the soot of the castle town. Even now, hundreds of miles and months from that moment, the smell of burning flesh, the screams of the dying had never left him. They had certainly felt strong in that moment, ghostly hands guiding his blade as much as that which lingered in his veins did.
But Eruka didn't seem satisfied with that. She looked at him still, searching for more.
“What Partitio didn't tell you is that, he did attempt to join the fray, but more importantly, while I was fighting, he made sure the citizens were safe. In that moment, I knew I could trust him to watch my back.“
Out here in the cold, it was impossible to tell if the redness that tinged Partitio's cheeks was the biting cold or something more. Gods, he hoped. He hoped against every other impulse in him that it was something more.
But there was no point in entertaining his blooming heart now. Not with the road that lay ahead of him.
Another hour of chatter whiled away their trek, and finally, just ahead on the trail, the pathway started to ease into the sleepy hamlet of Cape Cold. It was nothing more than a smattering of buildings crushed up against the frozen coast, bordered by white hills and deep grey sea.
The inn was their first stop, everyone glad to be out of the cold and huddling near the fireplace while Partitio got them a handful of rooms for the night. It was nothing extravagant, but a bed was a bed, and each room had a fireplace to drive off the deepest of the night's chill. They all stood around the hearth for a while, rubbing their numb fingers and just talking a little, making plans for the remainder of their day. The group broke off, shards of their company drifting over the town all for their own purposes. And trudging through the snow, Hikari's purpose was a simple one.
For just a moment, he wanted to enjoy this peace.
It was hard won. It wasn't going to be easy to maintain. There was so much ahead of him, but as he stood on the white sand of the beach, staring out into the churning grey sea, he could breathe deep and hold onto this calm, even if only for a moment.
The waves came and went, white foam crashing onto the sand again and again, dark, rain grey water receding only to come back with each wave, smooth, rhythmic, nothing but that cool churning and the howling wind to fill his ears. He didn't particularly care for the cold, but he could appreciate a moment of calm all the same, even if the wind cut through his linen clothing, cut through his very bone.
Hikari wasn't sure how long he stood there, letting his mind wander with the crashing of the waves, with the boiling of the ice cold sea, but the crunch of footsteps through the snow brought his attention back to the forefront, a razor sharp edge of focus. When he turned, he found exactly who he expected.
”Eruka.“
She approached wrapped in a cloak lined in fur, one that wasn't too big for her to manage, and in her hands, she held something.
Hikari took a deep breath. How many times before had he seen the flash of steel in the hand of a person approaching him?
But no. She only held a big porcelain mug, cradling it in both hands. Steam slipped through the lip of the metal lid. It was the kind of tankard that the locals used for drinking ale, but he suspected that wasn't what was in this particular cup.
”How did you know it was me?“ she asked.
”The sound of your footsteps. Even here, you walk like a person trying to walk on sand.“
She hummed and extended the tankard to him. ”Here.“
”What's this?“
”Partitio made it. To keep you warm out here.“
Looking back, he could see the warm golden glow of the tavern's light even from the coast. A shadow stood in the pane of glass, moving a little. There was no doubt in his heart that it was Partitio, in there cooking up some tasty meal for the lot of them as he often did.
Perhaps he should have hesitated in taking a sip. It was foolish for him not to, given the ease with which poison had tainted his food before. He knew that she could have tampered with it between here and there. But he also knew that she could have slit their throats in their sleep the night before if she had truly wanted to. So he drank, one long, deep gulp of liquid, honey sweet and with the gentlest burn of liquor in the back. That golden warmth spread down his throat, through his chest, pooling in his frozen innards.
“It's pretty good, right?” she asked.
“It is.”
“He didn't put any alcohol in mine though.”
“That's because you're too young to drink yet.”
“Ochette was in there guzzling this stuff like crazy!”
“Ochette is only a year younger than myself.”
She seemed aghast by this truth.
”You should not rush so.“
”Huh?“ Eruka asked, shaking her head a little, as if she hadn't heard him correctly.
”You should not rush to try and be an adult. Enjoy the time you have left as a child.“
She pursed her lips, folding her arms over her chest, but this expression held for only a moment before falling.
“Are you expected to join the army at seventeen with your peers?” he asked, hoping that the answer was no.
She hesitated.
“There is no shame either way.”
“Of course you would say that.”
But the truth of Ku was different than he wished it. The only way to make a name for ones self was in the army, toiling away with endless war. Many children dreamed of being soldiers, if only to raise their family's prospects. The life of a warrior was that of many citizens in Ku, and for those who did not, or could not, serve their country in such a manner, they were seen as lower than dirt.
At least as a warrior, one could try to snatch ephemeral glory. One could hope to elevate themselves. To protect those who were dearest to them. That very dream had already snatched one friend from his grasp.
”I've never seen this much snow before.“
He welcomed the change in subject and as he took another sip of his drink, he watched her shove flakes of sand and snow in a pattern with one foot.
”But you have seen snow before?“
”Only once, when I was little.”
”Oh?“
She nodded, and looked up at the blanket of grey white clouds that loomed above them, almost close enough to reach up and touch.
”Father and I stood on the hill outside the city and caught snowflakes. I was so upset when they kept melting.“ She laughed, a bright, sincere sound. ”It was like a soft, white miracle, like that stars were drifting down from the sky. But here it's every where.“
”It feels a little less magical in places like this,” he conceeded. “My first time seeing snow was similar. My mother and I stood in the garden and watched it.”
For a long few moments, they stood together, staring toward the town, watching the falling snow. Before long, the tankard in his hands was nearly empty, but he felt so full of warmth. In the square of light in the window, he could see Partitio move, back and forth through the kitchen, no doubt moving pots and dishes and he cooked. It was always such a grand affair when he was done. What would tonight's meal be, Hikari wondered, fondly. Even though the cuisines between Hinoeuma and the Wildlands felt so vastly different, there was always a delightful measure of home to Partitio's cooking, no matter what it was they were eating.
“Hey-” Eruka started.
“Hm?”
“You've been staring at Partitio for a while now.”
Hikari knew the biting heat that crept into his face wasn't merely from the beating wind. But he said nothing. Any words on his lips would give his heart away.
It took a long moment before he could find some semblance of words that wouldn't betray him.
”Let us return to the others,” he said, staring off.
”I wonder if the rest of dinner is ready yet.“
Immediately, she was in tow, and they trudged back into town and to the tavern. It was filled with warmth and light, the hearth blazing and the locals chatting and drinking. His companions were there, huddled at a table, drinks all around, and Partitio was just coming to the table with a big pot of soup and a smile. There was no trace of lingering cold in Hikari's body.
“Welcome back,“ he said, beaming as he set the pot down in the center of the table. ”Just in time! Come have a seat.“
”What have you made for us this evening?“ Temenos asked, peering into the pot.
”Fish and pumpkin soup!“ He ladled out the first bowl, passing it to Eruka as she sat.
”It smells delicious,” Agnea said, gratefully accepting her own bowl.
“Sure do hope it will be! Oh!” Partitio paused, “Drat. I forgot the other dish.”
”I'll go get it,“ Hikari said. ”What is it?“
”Ya sure ya don't mind?“
”Not at all.“
”Eruka here made a big ol' batch a rice balls to go with dinner. There should be a whole tray of 'em back there on the counter.“
Hikari turned on his heel, starting for the kitchen as Partitio continued to serve the others. And just as he said, there was a tray with a long serving dish on it, covered in handmade rice balls, well formed and neatly arranged, speckled with extra ingredients and with little wrappers of seaweed. He wasn't sure why the sight made him smile. Every child in Hinoeuma knew this most basic of recipes. But there was something different about these. Something special.
Picking one of them up, the faint fragrance of vinegar reached his nose, and then another note, something both earthy and fishy, but not unpleasant. No, it was something else.
The smell was nostalgic.
Where there had once been warmth, there was now an anxious dread gnawing at his insides, scraping away at the little peace he allowed himself. Without hesitation, he took a bite of the rice ball in his hand and stopped mid-chew.
It was nothing, Hikari tried to assure himself. There was no reason for him to worry at all. They tasted delicious.
They tasted nostalgic. Like a time he could never return to. Like a day before his whole world had been upended. The perfect shapes, the balance of flavors. He'd tasted this before. The tang of fermented grape leaves and salted salmon mixed into the rice. It had been a childhood favorite of his.
How many days had he stood in the kitchen, watching his mother carefully craft each rice ball, her hands glistening slick and pink from the oil and salt and the heat of the rice? How many of those had he eaten in his lifetime? A favorite snack for after a long day of training, sitting there, telling his mother all about what he had learned that day.
But it wasn't just similar. The carefully tuned savory sweetness, vinegar and soy and just a touch of sugar... it was the same.
These weren't just nostalgic.
These were the same.
”Everything okay there, 'Kari?“
Hikari froze. He hadn't even heard the kitchen door open. But there Partitio stood, face painted in concern. He swallowed hard, half chewed rice ball clogging his throat for a second before he could speak. It gave him just enough time to try and find some excuse--
”Guess you were pretty hungry, huh?“ Partitio laughed, his concern fading back into an easy smile. ”Sorry ya had to wait.“
”No-“ he croaked. But he knew that he couldn't just explain this to Partitio. The thoughts reeling in his own head weren't going to make sense to anyone else. ”Pardon, I don't know what came over me.“
”It's alright, pardner! Ya know ya just gotta say the word if ya need somethin'. I won't let ya go hungry.“
It was part of Partitio's pride. Hikari knew that Partitio wouldn't ever let any of them go hungry. That pain in him ran too deep.
”Yes. Sorry.“
”Don't worry 'bout it. It'll be our little secret.“ He winked.
Unsteadily, Hikari finished the rice ball, stuffing the last couple of bites in his mouth all at once to be done with the moment. Chewing felt like it took forever, but finally, he swallowed and took up the tray.
“I hope ya still have room for soup!”
“I do.”
Although the embarrassment of that moment faded as they rejoined the others at the table, that lingering sense of dread did not. Hikari knew that he could try and write it off a hundred different ways. But none of those excuses stuck. Every one he tried to sate his brain with as he ate was spat back up, and he was left with only one truth at the end of it. Those rice balls tasted exactly as his mother's had. Why?
Eruka sat across the table, enjoying her meal, gratefully accepting seconds when offered, seeming as though she took great joy in the food.
She was just a teenager. She was merely an Hinoeuman girl of sixteen looking for her missing father. Hikari knew that. Those truths were sincere.
But he couldn't help but wonder...
Even if those fact were true, it didn't answer the bigger question.
Just who was Eruka, really?