Chapter Text
Powder got Vi sitting with her on the crowded couch. It wasn’t comfortable, something hard was definitely shoved up her ass, not that Powder really deserved comfort at this moment. Vi was stiff, her muscles tensed at each touch and she looked half way between biting Powder’s head off and crying. Powder sighed trying to collect her desperate thoughts with a holed net.
“I don’t know how to explain this well.” Powder started slowly. “Did, um, Ekko tell you what happened to him? When he disappeared?”
“You know we haven’t talked, Jinx.” She snapped, it was soft, but had all the edge of an argument still brewing which made Powder want to cry, to curl up and be pathetic. “Quit stalling and spit it out.”
“Ekko and Heimerdinger were using those arcane crystals for something, I don’t know what, but then they got transported.”
There was a hint of confusion in Vi’s twitching brow, but Powder knew the impatience was getting to her. She continued quickly, “They- fuck it might be easier if I show you.” Powder scrambled, grabbing a marker and pulling Jinx’s standing cork board towards Vi, luckily there was a fresh pinned page on that hadn’t been used. She drew a line, “So we're here.” She drew a circle.
Now Powder could tell Vi was exacerbated and quickly reaching a tipping point. “And?”
Powder breathed, back to Vi. Just pretend to be teaching something, like when she used to show off her little gadgets to Vi. Vi’s not pissed (she is), Vi will understand (how could she?), she’ll listen and still love you (you better hope).
“Well this is only one series of events that could have taken place, but at some point in the past lets say here,” Powder made another circle lower on the line, “Something changed, one thing changes and created a- a, uh, split so to speak.” Powder drew a line shooting out. “This is where I’m from and where Ekko and Heimerdinger jumped to.”
“Who the fuck are you?” There was a pregnant pause, silence pooled the room and threatened to suffocate Powder. She swallowed thicky, licking the tears that came tumbling.
Powder’s shoulders heaved just slightly, her back was still to Vi. Ignore, ignore, ignore. It’s fine, you’re going to be fine. “I didn’t notice something was terribly wrong at first, but I did realize Ekko was acting strange, he called me Jinx… he was so confused, he thought I killed my sister.”
Powder gulped, she thought for a moment Vi asked, “Did you?” If she did it was so soft it could have passed for the wind. She continued, an evident croak to her voice, “Sh- she died when we were kids. I-in an explosion up Topside and a lot of things happened all at once, it was-” Powder had to calm her breathing, she was panicking,her heart hit the cage of her chest so hard she swore it’d pound right out. Her burning and red rimmed eyes took a second to refocus, the gore of that day flashing by in flits of distorted film. Powder forced herself to continue. “I wouldn’t leave her and Mylo and Claggor were panicking. I was inconsolable and they were trying to plan to get us all out but I kept screaming any time someone touched me- and- and-” Powder suddenly lost her voice, it got clogged in one great damn in her throat.
Then it all coming back so fast, like one great mental damn broke flooding her with all the terror and grief threatening to envelope her. The screaming, the crying, cradling Vi’s body. The boys yelling, confused, trying to figure out what the fuck to do, everyone hoping Vi had just passed out.
And then the enforcers came in.
They found a Counselor's Daughter, Caitlyn Kiramman, injured and an up and coming scientist dead along with her sister. Powder remembered her voice far off, ‘The door was jammed.’ Blood seeped from Vi’s parted lips, ‘Jayce was trying to get in’ her head lulled, eyes wide open, a dead stare right past Powder, off to the ceiling, “Then an explosion.’
Attention turned to them, to the intruders. They hadn’t a chance to escape. Vi was ripped from Powder, carelessly taken away along with the scientist. She was labeled trencher trash, getting herself killed by sticking her nose in places it shouldn’t have been.
But Powder, Mylo, and Claggor?
“They arrested us, the Pilties did. Sent us to Stillwater.” She finally forced out. Vi choked behind her, it was as pained as Powder felt. She heard the couch shift, was expecting (hoping) for Vi’s warm hands to guide her through the darkness. But still as though Powder was explaining it to the wind, no one came to comfort her.
Powder sighed, despite the disappointment, she knew that it was fair. “Vander lost his shit. Hard. He and Silco started to work together and he was threatening to tear down all of Piltover until he got us back. All of us.”
Powder still remembered getting out, a trembling mess who’d seen far more violence and abuse and terror in those three months than she had in her whole life before or since. She had been holed away for so long, fearful to do anything, to say anything least she ran into them again. But there was an even bigger fight on Vi’s body. Initially they buried her in some unmarked grave, to rot amongst those that got her killed, without the love she was owed.
It took time, but when she did come, it was much too late. So many scars had been made that day, three traumatized children sent to live out a life sentence for a mistake and a half decomposing corpse wasn’t proper compensation for anyone in the Undercity.
Powder looked back, chasing away the image. “Um, that was eight years ago, but, um I was really upset when he’d accused me of that so, uh.” Powder breathed, trying to loosen the tension in her shoulder, “As I guess an apology he painted a mural of what my sister grown might have looked like. He told me of this amazing woman who was so kind and compassionate and demanded respect, talking about her like she was still out there in the streets with a smile to brighten the darkness… That was you…
“From that point I knew what had happened, especially considering the machine he and Heimerdinger were constructing in my lab, it was basically a teleportation device. So when your Ekko left and he parted from my Ekko’s body the only thing I could think of was that somewhere, somehow a version of my sister was still alive and I couldn’t just not find her.”
Powder looked down to Jinx’s body, so pale and skinny and sickly, she frowned, “I knew that there was a possibility that your sister was still around, though with the way Ekko had spoken about her I had doubted how or if you’d be close. Beyond that I had assumed I calibrated my machine so it’d take my soul and body with me to this plane rather than just insert it into your sister’s body.” Powder sighed, “I guess, um, I was wrong on both counts.”
Powder allowed herself to turn around now, letting that bomb of information sink in. Vi was chewing her lip something fierce, eyes jumping everywhere yet never landing on her. Finally she parted her lips, they hung for a second before she spoke.
“So where is she?”
Of course that was the first thing Vi would ask.
After all that, Powder wanted to cry. She knew it, knew she would be second best to Jinx. To Vi’s real sister. It was the final slap in the face that woke her up. “I- If I had to take a guess, I’d say she is most likely dead, spiritually speaking. When I woke it felt like all my bones had been broken and that my body was devoid of air. I think the only reason I didn’t die down there as well was because of whatever this shimmer stuff is that she’s been augmented with.”
Vi nodded “Okay.”
“Okay?”
Vi stood, eyes hard as steel watching her. Powder couldn’t pin it, she knew her Vi, all her faces and expressions, she could read full sentences off just a look or two. This Vi was no different, until now. For the first time, the person in front of her wasn’t her sister, but a stranger Powder barely knows.
But Powder was still stupidly hopeful, taking a step forward. Vi put out a hand. “Don’t touch me. I’m having a very hard time with… all of whatever this is.” Vi started to walk away, “I’m going back home for tonight, then I’ll talk with Ekko.”
“And?”
“And I don’t know Jin-” Vi stilted, she nearly curled in, a tear dripping from her turned chin. “I don’t know…”
“Powder.” She said. It was the wrong thing to say, she knew, but a selfish part of her just wanted to hear Vi say it before she knew what would happen. When she’d never get to talk with her again. When she’d leave Powder to fall into that old pit of despair so deep and dark she could hardly think day was real.
But Vi didn’t say anything else. She just left.
—
The days bleed by slow and painful. It was as though Powder had been impaled, there was a constant ache that would dull for a few blissful moments until she moves and it came searing back to life. Reminding her of all the lost. Of her failure. Of all the hurt she inflicted on everyone else. On Vi.
For years Powder day dreamt and longed for the chance to see Vi and she fucked it up. Though that was her mistake for thinking that this was her sister, that Vi had that special and specific love for her and not just for her own sister. Maybe she could have if they met on honest terms, if Powder hadn’t stolen her sister’s body, a constant jeering reminder of their own apparent failed relationship.
Disaster and tragedy were hell, but it being by her own stumbling hands once again made the pain hurt so much worse.
Some days Powder would sleep the whole time. Some she’d get so itchy her skin would burn with shame and regret and she’d go running anywhere there was free sky to fly through. Some days she sat and picked at the scab over and over, dissecting everything she said, everything Vi said, berating herself over ever misstep and should have. She even tried to get Ekko to gloat at her, but he was too kind for that. Always too kind to a person like her.
Lately the energies have been draining out and she found herself a living corpse wandering tents, trying to find joy, but her enemy of a brain would always bring it right back to Vi Vi Vi.
Powder didn’t fight it, she deserved it. It’s been a week and she was still a wreak, a wreak that was screaming and crying at the drop of a hat, but one regardless. She found herself in Ekko’s workshop, staring listlessly at the wall covered in diagrams and schematics. She considered throwing herself into her work, trying to build a machine to go back, to just leave Vi alone because it seemed no matter what she did she just made her life hell. But she couldn’t get the motivation to eat, much less work on such an undertaking as interdimensional teleportation. At least not alone.
Ekko came in giving her a suppressed smile, “How’s it going Powder?” He left a bowl of something hot next to her. Powder continued to stare.
“Same old, same old.” She sighed, “I was wondering if you might help me with something.”
“Sure. Whatever you need.”
Powder nodded, she managed the great task of writing out a shopping list for Ekko and slid it over. He picked it and about half way through slammed it back down, “No.”
Powder quirked a brow. “It was your idea.”
“Powder you’re not leaving now that Vi knows. She’s literally torn to shreds about this and you’re trying to run from your mistakes.”
Powder turned her back on him, hunching in and over the desk, digging her face in her arms, “Yeah, that’s why I’m leaving. She doesn’t deserve me making things worse for her-”
“Powder, her sister is dead.” Ekko pulled her up, “Vander’s dead. Mylo, Claggor, Benzo, your parents, every person she’s loved is dead, why do you think she’s up in Piltover? Because she wants to be?”
“No, it’s cuz Caitlyn fucking Kiramman is her soulmate.”
“No, it’s because her and Caitlyn are trauma bonded over war and death. Now what you did was kinda-really screwed up, don’t get me wrong, but she’s suffered enough. Don’t go running out on her without at the very least talking with her-”
“I already tried, dammit! You don’t think I did after you two talked?” Powder yelled, finally a bit of emotion pushed through the monotone, “Caitlyn caught me, told me to leave. Then I got in a fight with her, said I wouldn’t go unless Vi told me so.”
Ekko stilled, his face falling as he looked at her, “She did?”
Powder buried her head deeper.
Ekko leaned away from her. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be, this was all my fault after all. I almost wish I hadn’t left.”
She could never really regret it, at least not on her end. It may have burned up in her face, fuck-up she was of course it would, but if Powder could go back, she’d still come, just with a better plan in place. It's how it always goes, isn’t it.
“I’m going to write her a letter before I leave.”
“That sounds like a good idea.” Ekko nodded, he backed off going to his own seat. Lifting the page he looked at it so unsure, as though he hadn’t been fighting for this weeks ago. “If you’re sure on this, I’ll I guess get the parts figured out.”
“Oh, I’m sure. I’ve been sure for a few days, just haven’t gotten the guts to fully admit I screwed the pooch this bad.” She giggled, it died quickly, “I was hoping she’d come back, if I gave her a few days. But I guess I can’t blame her for not wanting to be around an imposter.”
“It wasn’t your fault, fully, y’know. It’s not cuz you're some ‘imposter’ or that Vi couldn’t I guess love you.” He sighed, it was clear he was floundering in her sea of shit, unsure of how to help, not knowing there was no way to. “This was a bad time line for this, her and Jinx had a complicated enough relationship and with how it all ended…”
“You don’t need to be making excuses for me. You never did.”
“I’m sorry it didn’t work out. I really am.” Ekko squeezed her shoulder, “I’ll be back, you’ll be fine?”
“Yeah, I’ll get the schematics worked out, see you later.”
Powder sat up finally as the door shut. She tore out a sheet of graphing paper and then took out Jinx’s diary. She stared at the leather bound book, cracked and bleeding colored ink for its sides. Hopefully it could help give Vi some closure.
Powder sat it to her side and got out a fresh piece of parchment.
Dearest Violet,
I don’t think I can ever express how much I regret hurting you as deeply as I did. When I set out to find you I never meant to do so by deceiving you. It’s a crap excuse, I know, but just seeing how joyful you were when you thought Jinx was still alive… I’ve had dreams of that moment for so long, that even if I saw my own sister die, if I saw her remains cremated and blown to the river, that somehow she’d still make her way back to me. I should have known that the truth would come out eventually, that you’d be even more heart broken after finding me out. I am truly so sorry, I hope you know that even if it doesn’t make any of what I’ve done better.
Though I’m still so glad I got to see you again. I know I came here under the misguided idea that you were my sister when really you’re your own person, but I would still move worlds to meet you again. I hope that you can move on, still find love in your life and enjoy what Piltover has to offer you. That you can come back to your home in Zaun and still find a place for you. You’re the most Zaunite anyone’s ever been, I don’t know what happened to make you think this isn’t your home, but I hope you can still find yourself here.
I’m going home soon. Ekko and I are working on the transporter. I’m sorry that I couldn’t say all this in person, that I burnt that bridge so thoroughly. I hope one day you can find it in you to forgive me, but I do have one last thing to say, that I hope you remember:
I love you. I’ve loved you before I knew what love was. I’ve loved you through all our fights and all the bad times when another day wasn’t promised. I love you for your blistering smile, for how much you feel everything so deeply, for your ability to pull the best out of everyone, for how you protected and cared and made me feel special in a world that always made me feel scared and small and for so much more. I will continue to love you for the rest of my life, until I join you again in the sky.
I love you Violet. As a sister, as a soulmate, as my one life’s love. Please take care of yourself, love yourself for me, please. I hope we can meet again in another life.
Love,
Powder