Chapter Text
The smell of smoke intensified as Clarice flung the door to my room open. One look at her told me that she was totally out of breath. Her cheeks were red. She bent down just so her left hand rested upon her knee, leaning against the doorframe with her right hand to support her weight.
“Lydia, thank god you’re here,” she wheezed. “We have to go now. The house is on fire!” Though her voice was raspy, the urgency in her words was unmistakable.
Sensing the imminent danger, I hastily shoved my journal into its box where it always remained to ensure no one else would read it, and grabbed Clarice’s hand. We ran out into the hall and were immediately met with smoke blowing in our faces. Flames roared right in front of us. Regardless of where it had begun, the fire had spread to the east wing. We ran as quickly as we could, dodging flames and fallen debris.
“This way,” Clarice called out, followed quickly by a cough. How much smoke had she inhaled? How long had she spent looking for me?
She led me towards a door which opened to what was most likely one of the servant’s corridors used to get around the house quickly when needed for an urgent task. “This will get us to the gallery. We should be able to make it to the grand staircase from there and then out the front door,” she explained hurriedly.
“How did this happen?” I asked her, panting a little as I ran down the stairs, careful not to trip.
“I don’t know,” Clarice shook her head. “One minute everything was as it should be, and then the next I heard people screaming that there was a fire. I had to find you before it was too late.”
I gripped her hand tighter, squeezing it a little. “Thank you for that,” I replied.
“Thank me when we…”
Clarice was cut off by my own blood curdling scream. We had reached the gallery, but there were flames blocking our path. I could hear wood creaking above me. The roof was about to give way. Worse still was that there was no other exit, no choice but to run through the flames. It was now or never.
Her hand slipped out of mine, and she ran ahead of me. I followed, only to stop dead in my tracks when a figure cried out a name at the top of the grand staircase.
I ran towards the voice and locked eyes with Danny. She was holding a lit torch, and she had a maddening look in her eyes. She was laughing hysterically, but when she noticed I was there, her laughter ceased.
“Rebecca,” she had mistaken me for her again. There was no time, no point in trying to tell her otherwise. She smiled gleefully, holding up the torch to show it to me. I knew then that she had started the fire in her devastation, though she didn’t look devastated anymore. In fact, she looked terribly proud of herself. For a moment I wanted to know what was going through her head. Why had she done this?
Clarice turned back, waiting for me to follow her down the stairs.
“Go ahead,” I called out to her. “I’ll be right behind you.”
As soon as Clarice was gone, Danny wrapped her arms around me, still holding the torch. “You’ve finally come for me,” she said. “I thought you’d abandoned me for good.”
Just as I had done mere hours before, I played along, hoping it would get us out in one piece. “Danny, it’s time,” I said, imitating Rebecca’s voice, “come with me.” I tried to free myself from Danny’s grasp, but she refused to let go.
She knelt down, forcing me to go with her. “Don’t you see, darling,” she looked at me with big eyes, “I did this for you.”
I felt a searing pain from behind, the torch Danny was holding against he had lit the back of my dress. I cried out, and Danny only held me tighter. Thankfully though, she dropped the torch.
“You’re right, darling,” she whispered, “it is time.”
Though I felt incessantly hot, I could feel myself shiver at her words. “Danny, you need to let go,” my voice trembled as the fire surrounded us. I knew there wasn’t much time.
Was this it?
“Danny, please,” I repeated myself, and she loosened her hold on me just enough for me to squirm out and stammer to my feet.
“No,” Danny’s lip quivered, “Rebecca, you can’t leave me.” She reached for me once more, grabbing the hem of my dress. “Please don’t leave me again!”
I pulled it out of her grip and made to sprint down the stairs, only I missed a step and fell forward. My body rolled downwards, the flames engulfing it. I landed at the bottom with a thud. Everything was fuzzy, though I heard Danny let out a sharp scream.
Rebecca’s name.
My eyes opened and closed in quick succession as the heat continued to course through my veins. The sound of something falling was so faint, as though I were trapped at the bottom of a well. It had landed on top of me, the only reason I knew it was even there.
Was this it?
Was this what death felt like? I didn’t want to die, not like this.
How cruel was it, to have your life taken from you just when things had finally started to look up for the first time in years? Just as I had gotten a taste of happiness, just as Clarice and I’s relationship was blossoming into something that had the potential to last a lifetime, just as Ileana had found her footing as lady of Manderley, just as Father had finally opened his heart and mind.
Where were they? Had they come back from London? Did they know what was happening?
The distant sound of footsteps drew near. I could hear a voice, though the words it said sounded so foreign to my ears. The heavy thing on top of me was gone, and a pair of arms lifted me from the floor, strong yet gentle.
Was I going to break if they let go?
I didn’t feel hot anymore, instead a frigidness seeped into my veins. My eyes opened just a little, and I could make out my father’s blurry face above me.
“Spätzchen,” he whispered.
Not Rebecca’s name. It was mine, a nickname that came from when he started teaching me to speak German.
Were those tears? I couldn’t tell. The world was fading around me.
“Spätzchen, hold on…”
My eyes closed for the last time as he laid me onto the ground.